Dark Seeker (21 page)

“And Abram?” Her words were hard, emotionless.
He’d really lost her.

 
“He was a strong fighter, and I was broken.” Kai held up his arms, exposing the human scars. “He injured me, left me scars to always remember him by, but I got away.” He glanced at the three lines streaking down his forearm. “My humanity was so fresh. I healed like a human, not a vampire.” He placed his hand over his heart. “The only other human scar is here.” He breathed out, he’d forgotten. “And here.” He pointed to his knee. “I fell off my bike when I was ten.”

Janie’s features softened. “I can’t begin to understand how troubled your life has been, the tortures you’ve gone through, but we are talking about my father.” She looked away. “I can’t forgive you.”

He redirected her with his finger under her chin. “I understand. I will never forgive myself. Words can’t express how truly sorry I am.”

All emotion left her voice. “It’s a lot to process. Let’s just get through Friday. We have bigger things to worry about than us.” He knew she’d put up a wall. He wouldn’t get through to her now.

He clutched her jeans. It was only Sunday. She expected him to get through Friday without her. Going from love to loneliness was worse than not knowing love at all. At least then he didn’t know what he was missing. Now that he’d found her, he refused to let her go. “Please give us a chance. I’ll spend eternity making it up to you, showing you how sorry I am.”

“Why do you care?” She seemed defeated. “Humans—we are expendable to your kind. What makes me any different?”

“Humans. . .my kind—have you not heard a word I’ve said to you?” Sometimes the things she said infuriated him. “I’m not like them. I’m more like you than you choose to believe. We have the same purpose—rid the streets of them.” His voice deepened to a growl. “Don’t ever call me one of
them
again. I’m not one of them.”

“So you felt, for me. Can
you
feel?”

His palms traveled up her thighs and settled around her lower back. He slid her forward. She wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her ankles. He knelt on the floor, clutching her at arm’s length. Kai knew if it weren’t for his grasp she would fall. He’d never let her go. His eyes stung. They were wild, filled with passion—he could feel it. Any emotion he’d ever felt pierced straight through her, to the depths of her soul. He finally spoke, “I can feel.”

She breathed heavily. Her eyes swirled with fear and yearning, like he was a forbidden fruit she wanted and hated at the same time. “What do you feel?” she exhaled.

Kai drew her into him, placing his lips on the smooth skin at the base of her neck. “You’re beautiful.” He traced a perfect line up to her chin with the tip of his nose. He breathed heavily on her neck. Tiny goose bumps formed along her skin. “You’re smart.” His lips found one corner of her mouth, and slid over to her lips. “You’re strong.” He lost himself in her soft, warm kiss. “Janie—”

“Yes.” She combed her fingers through his hair, causing his body to spasm, creating a sensation he’d never felt before—ever.

 
“I feel,” he said.
More than you will ever know.

CHAPTER 14

Janie opened her locker and a bouquet of red roses sprung out at her. She jumped and quickly slammed the door to hold them in. She let her heart settle back into her chest. It was like snakes springing out of a can—unexpected.

“You don’t like red?” Matt said. He walked up behind her.

She spun around to face him. He smiled. “I do. I just didn’t expect anything to fly out of my locker when I opened it. How did you get in, anyway?”

“Your locker?” His brows rose. “It’s easy. They aren’t secure.” Matt reached around her and pounded his fist into the metal door. It flung open. Flowers showered the floor. “Sorry, I’ll get those.” He knelt down.

She joined him. “Thanks.”

“Did you get my text?” He handed her the seven or so flowers he plucked off the floor and stood up.

She rose to her feet and placed the flowers back in the locker.
“Um, no.” Then she remembered—
miss u.
“Oh yeah, I did. . .I was really busy last night. I didn’t have time to respond.”

“It’s okay.” He interlaced his fingers through hers. She stiffened. “I’ll walk you to class.”

“You don’t have to.” She wiggled her fingers free of his.

“Janie—we’re going to the same class.” He reached for her hand again. She grabbed a book out of her locker to avoid his touch. “So we’re still on for Homecoming?”

“Homecoming?” Luke said. He swaggered up beside them wearing a fashionable black leather coat over a white tee. He looked chic, like a model out of a fifties fashion magazine. “You’re going. . .together?”

“Don’t look so surprised, Luke,” Janie snapped.

“I—I’m not.” Luke looked at Matt in confusion. “I thought you were going with Molly. That’s all she talked about last period. She’s already picked out a couture gown. She had a pic. It’s totally red carpet.”

Janie glared at him. “I’m just sayin’.” He fluttered his hand. “Never mind. You’ll look gorgeous, too.” He hesitated, studying her jeans and hoodie. “We’ll find something for you to wear.”

Ava joined them. She stood arm-in-arm with Luke. “I thought I told you Matt asked Janie to the dance. It must have slipped my mind.”

“Have you asked anyone yet?” Matt asked Luke.

He went catatonic. “Luke—” Janie waved her hand in front of his face.

Luke blinked. “Sorry—I was just picturing the cheerleaders roasting you like a pig. Molly’s going to freak.” He placed his hand on his waist. “And no, I haven’t.” Luke glanced down at Ava. A look of uncertainty flashed across his face.

“Uh—I’ll probably just study that night,” Ava said.

“You’re coming with us. We’ll go as a group,” Janie said.
Please, please, please say you will.

“But it’s not like a couple thing, ‘cause that would be weird.” Ava’s eyes shot up to Luke again. “Right?”

“Right.” Sweat beaded across Luke’s forehead.

The bell rang. “We’d better get to class,” Matt suggested. He grabbed Janie’s hand before she had time to dodge him, too busy watching Luke and Ava’s weird reactions to each other.

“Luke—later bro,” Matt extended his free hand for a fist bump. Luke glanced down at his own hand, made a fist and tapped Matt’s. Luke turned around and shook the pain off.

Matt winked at Ava. She started to blush.

Janie slid into her car after school. She’d finally shaken Matt. The Imprinting thing was getting way out of hand. He was always there. She couldn’t wait to get home, where she could be free. It’s not like she didn’t like him. He was cute, popular and courteous, but those crazy I-want-to-see-you-every-second and I-can’t-live-my-life-without-you feelings weren’t there.
Not like with Kai.
Matt was a safer choice. Could she even move forward with Kai after everything she’d learned?

She started the car, trying to think about how to tell Abram about Friday’s somewhat-put-together plan. As her mentor and “boss,” he had to know—it was against Seeker rules to go rogue. She could make her own decisions, but Abram had to be informed of her actions at all times. She planned to Seek that evening. She’d use that time to think of the best way to tell him.

Janie decided it was best to Seek far from Antony’s lair. She didn’t want to interfere with Friday night. The vampire community had agreed to help defeat Antony. She couldn’t let anything get in the way of that plan.

She straddled the border of Baltimore City, next to Towson. Even though it was a Monday, the college students were out. They sported wrist bands indicating they could get all the keg beer they wanted at a local bar. A group of girls giggled. The bouncer accepted their fake IDs and waved them in. Janie envied their carefree attitudes. They went through a “normal” sequence of life—one round of high school. She realized that by this time, had she been allowed to go straight through school, she’d be very close to graduating from college.

All day, she hadn’t heard from or seen Kai. He usually let himself into her room or snuck up on her while she Seeked. She wondered if he still “felt” for her. She wasn’t easy to be with, and he had his own reasons to be distant.

Her cell vibrated in her pocket.
Abram.

“Hi, what’s up?” she answered, hesitant after their last conversation.

“Where are you?” He sounded angry. She didn’t like this side of him.

“I’m in the city, outside Towson.” Janie chuckled. “It’s five dollars drink-all-the-beer-you-want night at the local bar.”

Abram grunted. He didn’t seem amused. “You need to come home. We have to talk. The Chapter met this morning.”

Janie shrunk back into a childlike stance on the sidewalk. Abram was not only angry, he was disappointed—in her.

Instead of going straight home, she found herself at Kai’s, standing on his porch. The porch light lit a small area around her. Janie willed herself to ring the doorbell. She wanted so badly to speak with him: to see his green eyes, watch his wavy blond hair fall into his face when he became angry or defensive, trace his imperfect human scars with her finger. She wanted him to hold her. She could taste the scent of lavender on her tongue just thinking about his kiss.

She pulled her hand back. There was a reason he hadn’t come around.
Not tonight.
I’ll give him time.

Janie left the porch and descended down the concrete steps toward her car.

“Janie—what are you doing here?”

She whirled around. “You’re home?”

Kai smirked. “That’s usually where I am on a Monday night.” He stepped out on the porch, shirtless and exposing every scar. Sweat rolled down his chest. “I was training for Friday.”

“I’ll let you get back to that.” Janie turned to leave.

“Did you need something?” Kai’s words were careful, distant. She felt like they were back at the beginning of their relationship, when they didn’t know where the other stood. It was awkward.

“No. I—” Janie looked past him, through the door, and noticed three boxes stacked just inside the doorway. “What’s going on?” Her lungs tightened. She rustled around in her pocket for her inhaler.

Kai followed Janie’s gaze. “Oh, those.” He cleared his throat. “I’m packing.”

“For what?” She stepped back, tripping off the step.

He stepped out the door. He seemed hesitant to speak. “After Friday. . .I’m leaving. I thought I’d go to Tucson. Check on my family. I haven’t decided whether to approach them. I guess I’ll decide when the time comes.”

Janie stood, silent.

“It’s better this way—for you,” Kai continued.

“Don’t presume to know what’s best for me.” Janie started for her car. She couldn’t even look at him.

He appeared in front of her in the street. “I killed your father. You’ve already made it clear you will never forgive me.” He sighed. “I can live with never forgiving myself. It’s a torture I’ve readily accepted, but the thought of you hating me. . .that kills me.”

She brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I could never hate you.”

“For now, but as time goes on—” His voice cracked. “You could start to resent me. I can’t take that chance, for either of us.”

Janie took a puff of her inhaler, partly to control her asthma and partly to stop her from blurting out something she’d regret.
How dare you tell me what’s best for me or how I will feel in the future? It’s not your call.
“Will you come back?”

“I don’t know.” He cradled her face in his hands. The sweat from his chest had dried in the cool air. He kissed her.

She spoke with his lips on hers. “Please don’t leave me.”

Her phone vibrated. She pulled back from Kai. He dropped his hands from her face. A text from Abram—
where r u?

“I have to go.”

“Matt?”

“No, worse—Abram. He found something out today. He wants to talk. He’s angry.” She started toward her car. Kai placed his hand on her arm. She stopped.

“Do you want me to come with you?” He looked right through her. It stung.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, considering your history with each other.” She examined the scars on his forearm, the scars Abram had created.

“You’re right.” He let go and stepped up on the curb. “Call me if you need me.”

She nodded and left.

Abram removed the tea kettle from the stove and poured boiling water into a mug. He didn’t say anything to her at first.

“Isn’t it a little late for tea?” Janie said. “I guess Mom’s working an extra night shift.”

Abram nodded. “It’s going to be a long night.” He dropped a sugar cube into the water; the tea bag hung over the side of the mug. He motioned her to the table. “Why don’t we sit?”

He pulled a chair out for her and chose the seat next to her.