Dark Refuge (9 page)

“We couldn’t find you, so I called your dad. He got there minutes later. I told him we’d lost you. He tried mindspeaking—we’d already tried—but you didn’t answer. Anton showed up a couple of minutes later—Luci had called him. He and your dad shifted into their wolves and tried following your scent, but it disappeared in the parking lot, so we knew you’d been taken somewhere in a vehicle, but there was no sign of you. Nothing. We searched everywhere. Tala, AJ and Mik did a full Pack Dynamics–style search, but they didn’t have any luck, either. The security camera showed you getting into a dark van without any plates, but there was no way to identify it, and even though the cops did an all-points, no one saw it. Then two days after you disappeared, you showed up on the front porch at Anton and Keisha’s house in your leopard form, with your coat all covered in blood.”

Annie took a deep breath and squeezed Em’s hand. “Only it wasn’t your blood.”

Em sucked in a harsh breath. Why didn’t she remember any of this? Her heart thundered in her chest and her toes and fingers felt numb. Frantically, she glanced from Annie to Gabe, then at Alex, who shrugged. “I was away at college. I remember hearing something about you that was bad, but none of the details. Gabe?”

“Not a word.” He kissed the top of Em’s head and nuzzled close against her dark hair. “I never even heard she’d been taken. I can’t believe Luci’s never said anything. She can’t keep a secret from me about anything, and Lily’s never said a word, either.”

Em rubbed her hands together, chilled to the bone. Granted, it was early December, not yet noon, but San Francisco’s winters were often warmer than average summer temps. It was already in the high fifties, and she shouldn’t feel this cold. This frightened. “I don’t remember any of this. None of it.” She turned and faced Gabe. “Why don’t I remember? No one’s ever mentioned it; no one has said a word to me. But look at me.” She held up her hands, both of them visibly trembling. “My body remembers. My brain doesn’t. Why?”

But it explained so much. So much about the way her parents treated her, the way they were so overprotective. They’d made her life unbearable in their misguided efforts to protect her, but why had they kept it secret in the first place? And how? You didn’t just wipe away someone’s memories, so why didn’t she remember? She should remember, damn it!

Gabe tightened his arm around Em and held her close. “Do you recall anything else, Annie? Did they find the guy?”

Annie nodded. “I remember Mom calling me. I was already back at school, but she called to tell me when they found his body about a week later. We’d had an early thaw and the weather had turned unseasonably warm. His landlord noticed the smell when he went to check on the rental because the guy hadn’t paid his rent. I didn’t get all the details from Mom, but there was an article in the paper that said it appeared he’d been gutted, but there was so much decomposition by then, the coroner couldn’t tell if it was an animal attack or just a pissed-off bad guy.”

Gabe squeezed Em’s hand. She felt as if she moved through air thick as mud when she turned and stared at him. This all felt so terribly wrong. Unbelievable, and yet there was no reason not to believe what Annie was telling her.

Gabe brushed her hair back and cupped her face in his palms. “I imagine we can find the stories in the newspaper online. We’ll look for archives from that month when we get home, okay?”

She nodded, but she couldn’t help thinking that she didn’t want to know. That whatever she discovered was going to be so terrible that it could destroy her. But Annie was still telling her story, and Em focused again on her voice as Gabe pulled her even closer against his side, protecting her. But from what? From the truth? She needed to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

“Anyway, there was evidence in the guy’s rental. A lot of it, linking him to more than a dozen rapes and murders over the preceding couple of years, all since he’d moved to the area, so his death solved a lot of cold cases, and even some recent ones. I was already back at college and went on with my life, but it’s funny, now that I think of it, that nobody ever mentioned it.” She tilted her head and frowned at Gabe. “Didn’t Luci ever say anything to you?”

“Not a word. This is the first I’ve heard of it. And as gossipy as our packmates can be, I’m absolutely stunned that we’ve never heard it come up. But Em?”

She raised her head. Stunned wasn’t the word for it. She was beyond stunned. “What?”

“This might explain the darkness. Once we get Sissy out of this mess here, we need to take her to Montana and turn her over to the moms to get her straightened out. And once she’s in good shape, I think we need to get your parents and mine and sit them down for a long, serious talk.”

“Why your parents, Gabe? Mine are the ones who have to be lying to me. Keeping the truth from me.”

“Yeah, but this has Anton Cheval written all over it. I have a strong feeling that whatever happened to you was buried, maybe even wiped from your memory, but your parents couldn’t have done that alone.”

“Your dad could have?”

Gabe nodded. “Damn right he could.”

• • •

They walked over to the Marina District, where Alex and Annie were living in Lily’s old house. It had originally belonged to Ulrich Mason, and a number of different packmates had lived there over the years. Gabe kept Em close against his side. Her silence worried him, but so did Annie’s story. The implications of some kind of horrific cover-up had his Dad’s name written all over it.

But his mom would never have agreed to something like this, wiping a person’s mind of a memory. Possibly wiping the minds of the other kids involved as well. Could Anton have done such a horrible thing to his own daughter? Did Luci have any memories of what had happened when Em disappeared?

Gabe’s stomach was tied into knots. He felt absolutely sick, not only for his father’s possible involvement but for what this was doing to Em. He cared about her. He’d always cared, but not like this. Not at a level that had him wanting to take her pain. Wanting to hold her and make the darkness go away.

He knew he could do it. He’d done it this morning, but that was only temporary. Somehow, this was something that was going to take a much bigger fix to make it all better. They were almost to Alex and Annie’s house on Marina. It had been a quiet, thoughtful trek from the small park to this broad avenue with the view of the bay, but he sensed Emeline’s disquiet. Her thoughts were blocked to him, her natural shields strengthened by an obvious need for privacy while she worked her way through what had to be a horribly traumatic search for memories somehow stolen from her. Horrific memories, possibly taken to protect her, but memories that should have been hers. No matter how awful, no matter how traumatic, Em had a right to her past.

Especially since she had obviously survived some horrible, life-altering event. She was a beautiful, intelligent, and strong woman, but if her past had been stolen, those trying to keep her safe had done as much damage as the man who had kidnapped her. Not only had they taken away the fear, they’d taken that part of her strong enough to survive something terrible. Strong enough, it appeared, to kill the one who had hurt her.

Something like that was not only terrible, it was also life-affirming. Chanku were predators by nature. Strong, powerful predators, capable of killing to protect those they loved, and just as capable of killing to protect themselves. Obviously, Em had displayed that predatory nature, and rather than celebrate it, she’d been separated from it. The memories were either buried or destroyed, but taking that away from her was like amputating part of who and what she was. No wonder she had such a hard time opening to anyone.

Opening to Gabe. Part of her past was missing, and along with the evil that had been done to her, whoever had tried to help her had destroyed a very large part of who and what Emeline Isobelle Cheval truly was.

If his father was behind this, he needed to know that what he did was wrong. And then, somehow, they all had to figure out a way to fix what Anton had broken.

• • •

Taking the few broad steps up to Alex and Annie’s front door, Em realized she couldn’t remember the walk she’d made to get here at all. She knew she had to have walked many blocks, but it was all lost in her swirling thoughts, in her fruitless search for memories.

If what Annie said was true, Emeline had been involved in something horrible. Probably raped, at the very least assaulted and molested. But, and she had to believe this was the most important part, she had overcome her attacker, killed him, and made her escape. She, Emeline Isobelle, had done that. By herself. She’d never imagined herself as a woman strong enough to survive something truly awful, but she had. And instead of holding on to those memories, as awful as they were, she’d had them stolen from her. It was like stripping her of the most important part of who she was—a woman brave enough, strong enough, to survive something beyond awful.

And she’d still been a child. Deep inside, she was more than she’d ever dreamed. Stronger, smarter, willing and able to fight for her life. Able to kill someone truly evil. She was more like Sissy than she’d imagined. Strong like Annie. She’d always known she was Chanku, but she’d felt as if she never measured up, that she didn’t have what it took to be a true member of the pack.

But she did and she was proud of herself, damn it.

But was she strong enough to face her parents? They paused at the front door. Alex and Annie had already gone inside, but Em turned and gazed at Gabriel, and in his eyes saw compassion, maybe love, and definitely admiration. “I can do this.” She stood on her toes to reach his mouth and kissed him. “But I want you beside me when we face our parents. They might try lying to me, but they won’t, not with you there.”

“I’ll be there whether you want me or not, Em.” He chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I always thought you were such a tough little thing. Now I know you are. What they did to you was wrong. Obviously, we don’t know for sure whose idea it was or if my father was actually instrumental in wiping your memories, but no matter who was responsible, don’t forget that what they did was wrong.”

He ran his fingers through her hair, brushed it back from her face, and stared at her for the longest time. Then he rested both hands on her shoulders and gave her a light squeeze. “You need to meet Romy Sarika,” he said. “Jace’s mate. She lived through hell for most of her life, but surviving it is what made her the woman she is today. Believe me, she’s tough. So are you, but you’ve been handicapped by whatever was taken away. It may be a painful process, bringing those memories back, but I want all of you. Whole and complete, memories and experiences that are good or bad. Everything that makes you the woman you are.”

She was smiling when they finally entered the house. She wasn’t certain Gabe even realized what he’d said, or if he meant the words the way she heard them, but he’d said he wanted her. All of her, whole and complete.

Which was exactly the way she wanted Gabriel Cheval.

• • •

Sissy crawled back into bed after the four shapeshifters left the park. Her arms itched but she forced herself not to scratch. The last thing she needed was for Russo or any of the other men to question why she had a rash, and as long as she didn’t scratch, nothing showed.

But she was different. So different, knowing who and what she was. She’d felt like a victim for so long, but now she knew better. She was stronger, smarter, more powerful than any of the men here. Even stronger than the women, but that meant it was up to her to keep them safe.

Once she could shift, then all bets were off. And she had people willing to help her. That was the best thing of all, the fact there were people like her, ready to help.

Sissy? Can you hear me? It’s Annie. We’re home now, and I wanted to make sure we could still connect.

Yes!
She kept her eyes closed and had to concentrate on not grinning like an idiot, but she heard Annie fine.
I can hear you. Janine is still gone and I hear at least two of the men in the other room. Sounds like they’re watching a movie. There are four altogether. Russo’s still gone, then there’s Jengo, Ralph, and Kamon. I’m not sure who’s in the other room.

Can you look around your room, maybe go out to the other parts of the apartment and look at things like the front door, the kitchen, that sort of thing, even the men, so we get an idea what we’re up against. You don’t need to speak to me. Look at your surroundings. Alex, Gabe and Em are in the link, and they’ll see what you see. We need to know what we’re dealing with.

Yeah. I can do that. I’ll go make coffee, see if the guys want any.

Good. We’re with you.

She got out of bed and grabbed her robe. Janine’s bed next to hers was still empty and Russo was still gone, but Jengo and Kamon were in front of the flat screen watching stuff blowing up. Ralph, as usual, sat by himself near the front door. He always made her nervous. She’d noticed that Russo never left him alone with any of the women. She’d never seen Ralph do anything weird, but he had scary eyes, a frightening sense about him that made her skin crawl.

Like it wasn’t crawling enough already. She went to the kitchen and, as she’d figured, the coffeepot was empty. “Hey, any of you guys want coffee?”

“Yeah. I want some.” Kamon raised his hand.

Jengo just laughed. “Me, too, as long as Kamon’s not making it. I value the enamel on my teeth.”

“What enamel? That brown stuff?”

Jengo punched him. “Turd.”

“Dipshit.”

Ignoring them, Sissy grabbed the can of ground coffee and measured it out, but she made a point of looking around the kitchen, noting the second door into a hallway, the size of the room, the front door, barely visible on the other side of the living room.

Once the coffee was brewing, she went through the second door and walked down the hall to another bedroom, stuck her head in the partially open door and focused on Lindy, who was still asleep with her face covered in her wild mass of red curls. She slept all wrapped up with her girlfriend, Nina, whose hair was as straight and black as Lindy’s was red and curly. They loved each other and worked as a team—there were a lot of men willing to pay more than double for two women.