Dark Promises (Dark #29) (23 page)

Gabrielle wiped at her tears with the edge of the blanket. “That's about it,” she admitted. “And making the decision that I know is the right one makes me feel guilty about letting Gary go. And it makes me feel slutty and selfish. How could I betray Aleksei?”

“You didn't know him.”

Gabrielle sighed. She shoved both hands through her hair, keeping the blanket in place with her elbows. “But then I turned around and now I'm betraying Gary.”

Trixie smiled at her. “Child, loving someone is never wrong. Never. There
are all kinds of love in the world. Gary was sweet and kind to you when you needed it. You didn't have anyone and you didn't have any experience. He was the first man you fell in love with. In essence, your teenage love. Think about it. He had work in common with you and he made you laugh, but you didn't have sex with him. You didn't take every minute you could to be alone with him, sneaking off because you couldn't keep your hands off each other.”

Gabrielle frowned at her. “I don't know what you mean.”

“Can you keep your hands off this Aleksei of yours?”

“Well.” Gabrielle thought about it. Not when she was with him. She wanted him touching her. Kissing her. She mostly wanted him inside of her. “No. But that's just sex. We don't make love. He isn't gentle.”

“But you like what he does.”

“Yes. A lot.” Gabrielle was honest. She had to be if she was going to sort this out. And she needed to sort it out fast. Before he came back.

“There are all kinds of ways to make love. If it's good, that's what you need. But going back to your Gary. You clung to him because he made you feel grounded. Everything around you was so different and you didn't know how to handle it. I think you do love him, Gabrielle, but I don't think you're
in
love with him. If you were in love with him, you wouldn't feel as if all your loyalty should belong to Aleksei.”

“I know that I love him and he loved me.”

“Yes,” Trixie agreed. “But I doubt if either of you were
in
love. Not a soul-destroying kind of love. If you had been, you would have been like you and Aleksei, all over each other. You love each other because you both are intelligent, have a lot in common, make each other laugh, all those things. But, child. Where was the passion?”

Gabrielle closed her eyes. Trixie was making sense, and that only seemed to make her feel worse.

“Gabrielle. Think about it. This man, Aleksei, frightens you. He doesn't give you one single thing you thought you wanted or needed. But you're reluctant to say anything that might put him in a bad light. You refuse to say one bad thing about him, and looking at you, seeing your misery, I think there are a few lessons that man needs to learn about women and he needs to learn them fast.”

“You don't understand the enormity of what I did,” Gabrielle said. “You
can't possibly understand yet. You're still human. You don't even really know about Carpathians. The betrayal went so deep.” She frowned and waved her hand. The moment she did, she was fully clothed, although, like Trixie, she'd left her shoes off.

“How do you
do
that?” Trixie demanded.

Gabrielle blinked as if coming out of a deep fog. “It's because he's my lifemate.”

“That's another thing. Maybe you should explain Carpathians and lifemates to me, because I don't quite get that, either.”

Gabrielle turned her head, sweeping her long hair over her shoulder to stare at Trixie in shock. Clearly shocked. “You told me you're Fane's lifemate.” Her heart began to pound. Hard. What if she'd made a mistake? She couldn't trust her own judgment anymore. If she was talking to this woman, taking her at face value, and she was there hunting them, she had just helped convince the hunter to kill them.

“That's what he told me,” Trixie said. “But I don't understand exactly what that means.”

Gabrielle bit her lip hard. Hard enough that her teeth drew a small drop of blood. Trixie winced for her, but Gabrielle didn't really do more than register that small movement. She didn't know what to do.

There was one moment when she felt something stirring in her mind. And then he was there. Pouring into her. Warm. Intimate. It didn't feel at all like an invasion. She felt complete. Safe.

Kessake.
What is it? What has you upset?

Didn't he mean
more
upset? If he knew she was worried about something he had to have known she was crying her eyes out. How? If he hadn't been in her mind . . . Had he lied to her?

I cannot lie to you. I will not lie to you. Your soul is tied to my soul. I feel your emotions, just as you can feel mine should you try. I entered your mind because you are very troubled. I am your lifemate and if you have need of me, I will come to you. Tell me.
Now.

G
abrielle knew Aleksei had just given her an order. If she didn't tell him what he wanted to know, he would take the information from her mind. She took a deep breath. Submitting. Not because she was afraid of him, but because she was afraid for him. She was afraid for all the residents of the monastery.

There is a woman with me. Her name is Trixie Joanes. She said she's Teagan's grandmother and lifemate to Fane. I've . . . God. God.
Why was she so gullible and stupid? Why didn't she think before she acted? Now she had this hanging over her head as well.
I've told her things that revealed a lot about what you are. She could be an enemy. I didn't think, but I could have put everyone here at risk.

What
we
are.

She swallowed hard at the tone he used. Velvet over steel. A rasp she felt inside her body like a caressing stroke, but something else that set her heart pounding.
I don't understand.

We are. You. Me. We. We are both Carpathians. If you put me at risk, then you have put yourself at risk as well. And. I. Am. Not. There.

Uh. Oh. She got that. She got that right away. He was not happy with her at all.

What should I do?

Fane says the woman is his lifemate. What is she doing with you?

This was getting worse by the moment. Still, there was something in his tone that compelled her to answer.
I need to sort myself out. She's someone I can talk to. Maybe she can help me.

Fury. Hot. Wild. Intense. It poured into her. Filled her mind.
O jelä peje terád, emni. Sun scorch you, woman. Get rid of her. You talk to me. We sort you out together. Not an outsider. You. Me. Together.

She held herself very still. She knew she'd gone pale, she could feel the blood leaving her face.
You swore at me. In Carpathian. That's considered swearing, isn't it? And you keep saying the word peje to me.

Scorch. Scorching. Like the more modern fuck.

She winced. Not only did he get angry with her, over the top, crazy angry, but he swore at her. She was trying to sort herself out, for him. Okay, she'd screwed up royally, but she was trying. She wasn't at all certain he was.

Well, I don't like it.
She would have settled for
scorch
or
scorching
if he hadn't compared the word to
fuck
.
Scorch
didn't sound half as bad. And she got the implication. Sun scorching a Carpathian was burning him to death or sending him to hell, or in this case, saying fuck you.

Not fuck you.

I still don't like it.

Get used to it. Get rid of her. Now.

Gabrielle gritted her teeth.
Trixie is no threat to us. Clearly. You can't dictate to me who I can see or talk to or be friends with.

Are you my woman?

Her breath hissed out between her teeth.
I didn't say I would obey.

Are you my peje woman?

“Gabrielle?” Trixie said, drawing her attention. “Are you all right?”

Gabrielle nodded.
Yes, I am. But I'm the biggest mess in the world right now and I need to sort things out. You just make me crazy. I can't talk to you about what I'm feeling because my feelings make you crazy. Both of us can't be crazy.

Get. Rid. Of. Her. This is between us. I warn you, Gabrielle. You do not want to test me over this.
Abruptly he was gone.

Gabrielle took a deep breath and let it out. Okay. That was scary. Beyond
scary. But he wasn't going to dictate friendships to her. Trixie was making sense. Helping her. Listening to her when she needed it.

“I'm okay, Trixie. I'm trying to figure out how to explain what a lifemate is to you. It's rather complicated. Fane isn't human. He's a Carpathian. Just as Andre is and Aleksei. They live very long lives.
Very
long,” Gabrielle emphasized.

Trixie took a deep breath and stared into Gabrielle's eyes. She believed every word she was saying. Knots began to gather in Trixie's stomach. Fane had used the word
centuries
more than once. She'd overlooked it because quite frankly, he was gorgeous and she was already so far under his spell she didn't want to hear anything that might bring her out of it. But if that was true along with sleeping in the ground . . .

“He's a vampire,” she whispered.

“No.” Gabrielle said it sharply. “Absolutely not. He
hunts
vampires. He's devoted his life to hunting them. Carpathian males live very difficult lives, Trixie. They lose their ability to feel emotion or see in color after so many years have gone by. There is only one woman for them. One. She can restore those things to him. Without her, he has only two choices. He can give in to the darkness, lose his honor and become vampire, or he can walk out into the sun and die a hideous death. His lifemate is everything to him. He binds her soul to his and he is safe.”

Trixie was beginning to get a really bad feeling. “How does he do that?”

Gabrielle hesitated.

Trixie shook her head. “That doesn't bode well, you looking at me like that. You know something I need to know.”

“You have a psychic gift, don't you?” Gabrielle said softly. “Like Teagan. Like me. You have a gift.”

Trixie couldn't deny that. She heard songs in people. Gabrielle's song was sad. Fearful. Fane's song was beautiful and every single cell in her body responded to it. “Yes. Why?”

“The Carpathians are nearly extinct. They began to have fewer and fewer female children born. And then those children died before they were much more than toddlers, or the women miscarried. Soon, there were too few women and a child that lived was rare. I was helping to research along with
Gary in order to help them. Their prince discovered a human woman with psychic abilities could not only be a lifemate to a Carpathian, but she could become Carpathian. She could be converted.”

Trixie didn't like the sound of that. “Is that what happened to you? Is that why you didn't realize you have a lifemate? You weren't Carpathian? You were human?”

“I was human. I was nearly killed, and the Carpathians saved me by converting me. That didn't stop me from thinking like a human or clinging to human ways. I didn't want to consider that because I had psychic gifts a male Carpathian who had suffered centuries of darkness might be looking for me to save him.”

Trixie tasted fear in her mouth. Whatever was happening here was much bigger than she expected. She was prepared to have a short fling with a very hot man. One she knew would eventually burn her, but she thought it would be worth it. No. She
knew
it would be worth it in the end. He had already replaced those terrible memories of that scared, innocent fifteen-year-old girl.

Fane had made her feel beautiful and sexy. He'd made her feel like a desirable woman. She wasn't a woman to kid herself. She was too old. She lived far away, a completely different life, but she could hold Fane in her memories. She didn't have to share those memories with anyone else. She'd given and given her entire life. So many pieces of her had gone missing along the way. No dreams. She knew better than to dream for herself, but she'd dreamt big for her girls and saw to it that they had the chance to make those dreams come true. She had no regrets. None. But Fane would be hers alone, and she deserved every memory she could make with him.

She took a deep breath. Now, she feared the price was far, far higher than she ever thought possible.

“Trixie.” Gabrielle whispered her name. “I shouldn't be the one explaining this to you. Fane should be. Or Teagan and Andre. Teagan's happy. I'm too confused and mixed up to be a good example of how wonderful it is to find a lifemate. And my lifemate is different. Very different.”

“Does he have a tattoo on his back?” Trixie guessed.

Gabrielle's eyes widened. Her lashes fluttered. She nodded slowly.

“So does Fane. If your man is different, then Fane must be like him. How is he different?”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I'm absolutely not doing this with you. It's scary to find out you're a lifemate, but my sister is so happy. You have no idea how happy she is. You will be, too.”

Gabrielle didn't look happy at all to Trixie. She was certainly anxious, her gaze sliding toward the door over and over again as if she expected something terrible to happen at any moment.

“I'm in my sixties, Gabrielle. I've lived my entire life without a man. Making my decisions. Expressing my opinions. Doing what I wanted to do. I've worked hard, and I have a family I love above all else. I am well past child-bearing years if they're looking to repopulate. I would never put up with any nonsense from a man, and I can tell you right now, any man who is a man would find me a pain. We would clash every minute. You're sweet and you want to find a way to please your man. Me, I'd just as soon hit him over the head with a frying pan.”

That earned her a smile from Gabrielle. A first. When Gabrielle smiled, her beautiful face nearly glowed.

“You are breathtaking, child. Like my Teagan. No wonder these men both had their eyes on you. Your Aleksei is lucky to have you. You think about that when he's with you. He should make you feel beautiful and special. Not undermine your confidence in yourself.”

“He does make me feel beautiful,” Gabrielle admitted. “The way he looks at me, as if he would never see another woman the way he sees me.”

Trixie closed her eyes briefly. She knew that look. Fane's entire focus had been on her. She'd felt that exact way. As if he would never see another woman like he saw her. This was getting more and more complicated by the minute.

“I've got me a stake gun. It fires little tiny stakes. It didn't do me much good when I shot at Fane and hit him. He just laughed and pulled them out. But you're welcome to it if you think it would do you any good,” she offered. Because she wasn't going to need it. She was leaving. Right now. Fast.

She scrambled to her feet. “I'm heading down the mountain, Gabrielle. I would invite you to come along, although I might have to hike out in my altogether. I have to find my pack because I have extra clothes in it and I can put them on when these disappear. He hid it, but I can find it.”

“Fane threatened to take your clothes?” Gabrielle guessed.

“He did. I didn't think he could really do it, but he's done quite a few things that looked impossible, so I'm not taking any chances.”

Gabrielle felt a smile rising. That was two smiles Trixie had given her in the space of a couple of minutes when she had believed she'd never smile again. She really liked the older woman.
Really
liked her. She stood up as well.

The door didn't open. Not at all. The hinges didn't creak. But he was there. Filling the room until it vibrated with fury. The air was so heavy Gabrielle choked. Coughed. She froze, afraid to move in any direction. Her gaze slid to Trixie. The woman had frozen as well. Gabrielle wasn't the only one who felt that anger like a blow.

He materialized close to her. So close Gabrielle felt his heat. He smelled of forest. Of the mountains. Of rain. His hair was a wild fall around his face, and his eyes blazed a pure green at her. His jaw was set. His mouth as well. He looked so menacing, Trixie instinctively took a step toward her, as if she might put her body between Gabrielle and Aleksei.

He didn't look at Trixie, his fury-filled gaze focused completely on Gabrielle. He waved a casual hand toward Trixie and she stopped moving, her body going still, her mouth partway open, but no sound emerged. Gabrielle knew instantly Aleksei had frozen her there, and that was even scarier than the four walls filled with his wrath.

“Would you like to explain yourself to me?” He bit each word out between strong white teeth.

Gabrielle straightened her spine. Tears still clung to her lashes, she could feel them, making her lashes wet and spiky. Fat lot of sympathy she was getting from her lifemate. She moistened her lips, her heart pounding like a drum. “Not really, no.”

His head jerked up. If it was possible, his eyes went pure green, no other color. Glittering green. Like a green flame. He took her breath away. She was terrified, but he was still the hottest man she'd ever seen in her life. She bit her lip and tilted her head to one side, sweeping her hair over one shoulder, a nervous gesture she hoped Aleksei didn't interpret that way.

“Not. Really. No.” He repeated each word as if he couldn't believe what just came out of her mouth.

Gabrielle bit harder at her lower lip and once more shoved at her long, flowing hair, getting it off her neck because she was suddenly very hot.

Aleksei stared at his woman with unblinking eyes. That small gesture, that sweep of her hair, revealed her delicate neck, her throat, revealed her vulnerability. Looking at her neck made him want to sink his teeth deep, to taste her. Claim her. Her hair was everywhere, cascading around her like a waterfall. So much of it, wild and untamed and so
peje
soft he could barely breathe when he buried his fingers in it, just as she was when he touched her. She always withdrew from him after, but he knew, one touch, and he could ignite that fire. Turn her into the wildcat he knew she was.

“Aleksei,” Fane hissed, striding through the door. He didn't slow down, moving swiftly into Aleksei's dwelling.

Aleksei waved his hand to free the other woman—the one who had dared to invade his space and interfere in his relationship. “Your lifemate had no right to enter my resting place.” There was a definite threat in those words—and rightly so. To enter any of the ancients' space was a violation of the monastery rules.

“I take back every single thing I said, Gabrielle,” Trixie snapped. She drew in a deep, shuddering breath, glared at Aleksei and opened her mouth again, clearly outraged at his behavior. Fane was there instantly, standing solidly between her and Aleksei. He grabbed her arm in a viselike grip.