Dark Mind (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 1) (7 page)

“The next one will be for you,” Amy said as she got on one of the last coasters in the park. “Pick a ride you wanna go on before I come back. See ya.”

Cole and Mrs. Taylor took up their usual spots on the bench by the exit.

“Are you having fun?” Mrs. Taylor asked. “You can choose the last thing we do before we leave. I don’t want your day to be a waste.”

“It’s okay,” Cole said, “and besides, I wouldn’t even know what to go on. I doubt I’d like anything here.”

“Just pick an activity and we’ll do it before you go. Everyone else has had their share already and we need to leave soon. There has to be something you want to try.”

“Um, I guess I could go on the bumper cars.”

“It’s a deal,” Mrs. Taylor said.

When the group returned to them, Mrs. Taylor traipsed them all along in the direction of the bumper cars, which she announced would be the final activity, to a number of groans and complaints. Cole was thankful she did not mention the reasoning behind this decision.

All of a sudden, he felt a strange prickling sensation and turned his head to see the same kid staring at him. He was standing in line at a concession stand with his mother and his eyes bore into Cole’s with such intensity that Cole could practically feel them inside of him. Many people had stared at him in his life, but this was different. There was an undeniable connection between this boy and him, one that could not be put into words. The whispering in Cole’s head had returned tenfold, an indecipherable frantic murmur that magnified as they drew closer. For just a second, as Cole passed by, the whisper became audible.

…is an agreement that... touch the... so that they... before it
…

Cole’s mind froze. He was two feet away from the boy, each of them looking into the others’ eyes and not moving. A barrage of random words assaulted his brain.

Coaster…swallow… during…quick…twitch…

The stare intensified for a split second and then Cole had passed the boy. Cole's feet had carried him on their own. He heard his name and the trance was broken. He snapped his head forwards and hurried to catch up to his group.

“No lagging,” Mrs. Taylor said. “Please try to keep up.”

“You know that boy?” Amy said.

“Umm, no,” Cole said. “He was just giving me a weird look.” He was trying his best not to show how shaken he was, but he was afraid his voice betrayed him.

“You should kick his butt.” She giggled. “Ooo, hey, we’re here! And no line!”

They had arrived at the bumper cars. Amy raced off to have first choice of the cars while everyone else strolled inside and sat in the closest car he or she found. Cole had never admitted it to anyone, but the bumper car ride had always intrigued him. It was the only ride where he had some control and it was the closest he could ever come to driving at his age. Under normal circumstances he would have been excited, but petty pleasures were meaningless right now. The kid’s face was imprinted in his mind, particularly the eyes which penetrated deep into his consciousness.

A sudden jolt from behind brought him back to reality. “You have to hit the gas pedal!” someone shouted. There was laughter. Cole had not even realized the ride had started. Embarrassed, he shot his car forwards into the fray. He feigned enjoyment for the rest of the ride, but when it was over, he could not remember a moment of it. All he could do was wonder. He had an idea who the kid was
, but the thought terrified him. He racked his brains, trying to think of a better explanation, one he could at least accept.

“Wasn’t that so much fun?” Amy squeaked after the ride ended.

Cole gave a noncommittal grunt.

“What’s wrong with you today?” she asked. “You’re so out of it.”

“I’m fine,” he said. “That was a lot of fun.”

“I’m sorry I told you to come. I thought you’d like it.” She sounded small and pathetic as her focus shifted to her feet.

“No, no, it’s not that. I really did have fun. I think I’m just worried about my mother.”
Half truths are always the best lies.

“Oh, yeah,” Amy said. “Sorry. Glad you had fun. Did it help take your mind off it?”

“Uh-huh. I actually always wanted to try bumper cars.”

“And now you can say you were on a roller coaster.” That smile was back.

Now it was Cole who was looking down. “Yeah, there’s that.”

“Oh man... time to go home. Worst part of the day.
I guess I'll see ya later.”

“Yep, bye.”

All the groups from the school had met up and Amy trudged back to her original chaperone. He caught sight of her again outside as the parents arrived to pick them up. She ran up to a man who was standing next to an expensive sports car convertible and wearing sunglasses and a business suit. Cole felt a sharp pang as he watched the man hug her and then they got into the car and drove away. For the second time since that night Amy came over, he felt an emptiness he knew nothing could ever fill.

And in a second it was gone.

“Cole! Cole! Over here!”

Cole spun around in shock. “Mom? Mom!” He bolted over to where she stood by her old beat up Toyota. He ran into her so hard he nearly knocked her off her feet and threw his arms around her. “I thought you were going to tell me when you were getting out.” He buried his face in her jacket and then, remembering where he was, let go.

“Easy, easy,” Meredith said, gently pushing Cole back to arm’s length. “It was a surprise to me too. The doctor ran some tests and said I was good to go. He had mentioned the possibility of going home before, but I didn’t want to give you false hopes.”

Cole looked up into his mother’s flushed face, only now realizing how fearful he had been for her safety. “I wanna go home.”

“I figured as much. Come on.”

9

Life returned to a degree of normality after that
, but never reverted completely to the way it was before. Meredith appeared cured although Cole did notice her occasionally trying to hide a moment of weariness. She seemed to lean on things – tables, chairs – more than she should have to. Still, her excitement at being back home with Cole was the most noticeable aspect of his mother's change in behavior. She cooked an elaborate dinner that night, more courses than either one of them could fathom finishing, and made an obvious extra effort to engage in conversation.

“How’s school going? Did you have fun on your trip?” Meredith asked during the fourth course.

“It was good,” Cole said, not wanting to lie and not wanting to get into it. “Things have been going great with Amy,” he added, steering the conversation in a better direction.

“Oh, I didn’t want to say anything in case you didn’t want to talk about it. You were with her today?”

“Uh huh. Found out she's a little out of her mind
today. But not in a bad way.” His eyes were wide as he remembered the experience. “She's just completely obsessed with being flung around wildly by those monster coasters.”

“A roller coaster?” Meredith said, failing to hide the shock and worry in her voice. “Did you go on them too?”

“I tried one. Let's just say it's not really my thing.” Cole stuffed his mouth with a huge bite of food to show he did not want to elaborate on that statement.

An expression of humor appeared on Meredith's face. “Can't say I'm too upset to hear that.” She took a bite of food and chewed it slowly. “So, have you only hung out outside of school that one time at Aunt Beth's?”

Cole paused for a second, wondering if his mother was implying something. “Yeah, so far. Should I ask her to come over tomorrow so you can meet her?”

“Definitely. I’m very curi...
I mean, it would be nice to meet her.”

“As long as you don't embarrass me,” Cole said jokingly.

“Of course not. When have I ever?” Meredith said in mock innocence.

Cole was uncomfortable showing emotion so he kept to himself, reading
Les Miserables
in his comfort zone like he always did, hoping his actions didn’t offend his mother. She didn’t seem to mind.

The next day at lunch, Cole asked Amy if she wanted to come over to his real house.

Her eyes lit up as she nodded a vigorous yes. “Totally. I've been really, um... bored at my house lately. It'd be great to get out.”

“My crazy aunt didn't scare your mom away?”

“Nah, doesn't matter how crazy she is. My mom is always happy to have me go over to someone's house.”

“Man, good,
I was super worried about it. I really hate her sometimes. After your mom met her I was positive she'd never let you see me again. Your mom must be awesome. If she could put up with that, she can put up with anything.”

Amy gave a half smile. “Yeah,
I s'pose.”

“Oh, and
I promise my mom is way more normal.”

The smile spread across her face. “You worry too much.”

They met up and waited for her mother after school for a repeat of last week. Amy’s mother showed up, looking as pristine as ever, flashing a bright smile at the sight of her daughter. She was exuberant, if a little tentative, at the mention of plans with Cole, but looked somewhat relieved when they explained that it would be with Cole’s actual mother this time.

“Don’t worry, she’s nothing like my Aunt Beth,” Cole said, chuckling at Mrs. Brown’s expression of worry.

Mrs. Brown retained some measure of tentativeness as she approached Meredith’s car. “Hi, Mrs., umm…,” she started, racking her brains, wondering if she ever knew Cole’s last name. She kept her distance from the car, just bending slightly to see inside the low window.

“Call me Meredith,” Meredith said, extending her hand through the window.

Mrs. Brown looked startled but recovered enough to shake her hand. “Hi, I’m M…, uh, Sandy. I met your, umm…”

Meredith laughed. “Don’t worry about my sister. She’s grown into quite the eccentric character. Harmless, but definitely eccentric.”

“Yes, well, nice to meet you. Your son and Amy wanted to get together tonight. If it’s fine with you I can drop her off anytime tonight.”

They made plans and Amy left with her mother. Cole heard Mrs. Brown whisper to Amy something about “like her much better” before they got out of earshot. As he climbed into the passenger seat, an agreement flashed into his head, freezing him partway through the door.

Get in your seat, swallow, then stretch your legs before your mom says anything or Amy won’t come over tonight and something bad will happen to her.

Cole flung himself into the seat, simultaneously trying to work saliva into his mouth and to the back of his throat. But it wouldn’t go down.
Why is my throat so damned dry?
He maneuvered ferociously, trying to make his throat do something it was not intended do. In one last painful flex of muscles he forced himself to dry swallow, feeling like he just ingested a box of cotton.

“Are you all right?” Meredith said, watching his little spectacle, the car’s passenger door still open.

“Yeah, just got something caught in my throat.”
NOOO. I didn’t get a chance to stretch my legs. That was the easy part. Dammit Mom! Dammit…

“Well, can you close the door so we can get out of here?”

Cole nonchalantly closed the door, but he could feel cold sweat and the tumult of his insides.
I love you Mom, but goddammit.
He refused to think of the implications of what just happened, but the vivid memory of the failed agreement for his mother kept whizzing by. Then, in his desperation, a thought came to him, an idea that he could not believe he had never thought to try before. If it worked it would have rescued him in the past – again he thought of his mother – and it would be a panacea for the future.

Clear your throat three times to undo the last agreement,
he thought to himself. He did it.
If I can’t win an agreement, I’ll make up my own to counteract it.

Move that muscle for the same reason as the last one.

Swallow when Mom is not talking for the same reason.

Move this…do that…say that…
and so it went for a few minutes, nullifying the effects of the failed agreement, until Cole was satisfied that his efforts, if they did anything, would work. All that was left to do was pray, because if this worked he could never lose again.

“She seems like a nice girl,” Meredith said, bringing Cole back from his own world.

“Yeah, she’s cool,” he said, trying to push his external calm onto his internal frenzy. He was still feeling defeated, but at least there was a glimmer of hope to hold on to.

“
I knew you could make friends, no problem. I’m really happy you broke out of your shell. Not that you weren’t great before, but what I mean is I’m sure you can already see the advantages -”

“Mom,
I know. Don't make a big deal out of it.”

“Sorry. I'll try
, but I am your mother. Kind of my job.” She glanced over at Cole as she drove, but he was staring out the window. “I just wanted to make sure you were happy about it. Sometimes I can't tell with you.”

“It's cool.
I understand. But trust me, I'm happy about it.”

All evening, no matter what he tried to do to distract himself, he was reminded of the fated agreement that would soon be proven one way or another. He watched the minutes slowly tick by, praying that Amy would show up any second, happy and unharmed. He wished he could do more
, but he felt helpless beyond what he already tried.

“Are you nervous about her coming over?” Meredith asked him.

Blinking away his daydream, he looked up at his mother standing over the chair. “What do you mean?”

“Well… you’ve been sitting in this chair for an hour not doing anything. That’s very unlike you. You must be thinking about something.”

“Yeah, that must be it,” Cole said. He slumped back into his chair to stare at the clock.

Around the time Amy was supposed to show up, the phone rang. Cole’s ears perked up, his heart beating rapidly, as he listened with bated breath.

“Hello?... Yes. Speaking… Oh, that’s too bad… Maybe another time then… Not a problem… Okay. Bye.”

Cole’s heart sank. That had to be Mrs. Brown.
At least it didn’t sound like anything happened to her.
“What happened?” he called into the other room.

“I’m really sorry,” Meredith said, “but Amy isn’t going to be able to make it tonight.”

“What, why not?”

Meredith frowned, thinking back over the phone conversation. “Her mother didn’t say why. Just said she’d need to reschedule.”

Cole could not help but feel disappointed, although the news was not half as bad as he had feared. Considering the calmness of the phone call, it sounded only as if something had come up. Perhaps his self-created agreements worked after all, the prospect of which sent a shiver of elation through his body. He had done it. He had finally overcome the control and fear that agreements had brought him as far back as he could remember. From now on, if he lost an agreement or did not want to complete one, he could undo it with his own agreement later, and possibly even force the outcome any way he pleased.

“Are you really disappointed?” Meredith asked him, still standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Nah, it’s not a big deal. There’s all the time in the world to make more plans.”

“That is true. I’m glad you’re so mature about it. Makes my life so much easier.”

Cole smiled to himself. “Not a problem.” He created a couple more simple agreements to ensure Amy's safety and then, he began to read.

Cole hurried off to lunch the next day, anxious to see Amy and confirm that she was okay. He felt a moment of panic when, after his first scan of the cafeteria, he saw no sign of her. However, after a second scan he caught her sitting alone at a table, partially concealed behind a rather large boy, peacefully eating her lunch.

“Good mooorning,” Cole said, sitting across from her and splaying his lunch out in front of him. She looked the same as always, and he had never been so happy for it.

“You’re pretty chipper considering our plans failed yesterday,” Amy said through a mouthful of sandwich.

Cole realized the accuracy of this statement but was quick on his feet. “Wouldn’t want that to ruin today. What are you doing later?”

Amy’s usual smile returned. “I don’t know. Let’s ask.”

“By the way, what happened yesterday?”

Amy looked down at her tray of food and used her spork to push her vegetables in circles. “It was nothing, really. My parents just decided they, uh, didn't want to drive me. Happens. Sucks.”

Cole's brow furrowed but Amy did not meet his eyes. “Yeah, that sucks. But that won't happen again today?”

“Nope. Pretty sure we're good. It's... rare.”

After school, they asked Amy’s mother if they could reschedule the plans for that night. She seemed reluctant at first but Amy’s pleading brought her around.

“Hopefully better luck tonight,” Cole said to his mom as he got into the car.

“I’m sure it will be,” Meredith responded.

As they pulled away, Cole thought that in the corner of his eye he saw someone watching him. He looked back but by then the car had turned onto the next block. Cole sat forward again, knowing it wasn’t anyone important; it was not uncommon for him to be the unwanted center of attention. He had all but forgotten about his appointment until he looked up and saw the sign for “Dr. Rita Stern.”

“See you in an hour,” Meredith said, pulling up to the curb. “Love you.”

“Love you,” Cole said. Despite his mother’s unintentional mistake the previous day, he could not stay mad at her, especially so soon after fearing he might lose her forever. He shook off the absurd notion of misfortune befalling Amy because of some silly agreement out of his head as he greeted his doctor inside the entrance. It was time to have fun with his psychologist again.

“Oh, Cole. I heard about your mom. So happy to hear she’s okay,” Dr. Stern said from her desk, getting up to lead him to the back room.

“Thanks.”

Once Cole had taken his place on the couch, Dr. Stern continued. “So, how was your last week? Have you tried any of the recommendations I gave you?” she said hopefully, while expecting the worst.

“Yeah, I have a friend. It was easy.” He tried to keep a straight face but a slight smile crept up on the corners of his mouth.

Dr. Stern looked skeptical, as expected. He had never been very honest with her and was even less receptive to anything she said. “Oh? What’s his name?”

“
Her
name. Amy.”

Dr. Stern sat back in her chair, unconvinced, taking a better look at Cole’s face and attempting to read beneath its façade. “How’d you two meet?”

Oh, Dr. Stern, so predictable.
“She came over to me at lunch last week. We've already hung out a couple times.” It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep a straight face while watching Dr. Stern’s.
Sometimes the truth is the easiest play.