Dark Mind (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 1) (23 page)

“Jealous?” Amy said.

Cole smiled. “Very.”

“We also have some big news,” Meredith said once they were on the way home. “Amy? You want to tell him?”

Cole whipped around in his seat, holding out hope against what he knew was impossible.

“I'm gonna be living with you soon,” she said, a faint smile creeping across her face.

Cole's mouth dropped in disbelief. “No way. Really? You agreed to that?”

“We had a talk about it,” Meredith said. “We decided on a temporary arrangement, until suitable foster parents are found, ones that Amy is satisfied with. We meet with a lawyer tomorrow to figure out all the legal stuff and, assuming all goes well, she'll move in indefinitely.”

“Oh my God.” Cole was in such a state of shock to feel anything, but gradually an overwhelming excitement crept through his body. “Oh my God. Wow. Just... wow.” He faced front so Amy did not see him beaming, as the situation was still not one of happiness and he was afraid to offend her.

“Yep, I think under the circumstances, this is what's best,” Meredith said, “and Amy agrees. Oh, also, we bought a new board game today so you two can have fun with that later.”

For the rest of the day, Cole and Amy played the new board game and, as the day wore on, his earlier ecstasy was replaced with confusion. He thought he knew this was the best possible outcome but so much had happened recently that his mind had reached its limit and could no longer process. At this point, he didn't know what to think, which permitted a few doubts to begin to form.

Living together indefinitely? It seemed awesome but that was a hell of a commitment. Would everything between them always be this great? Would they get sick of each other if they actually lived together? The last thing he wanted was for their friendship to be ruined because of something that was supposed to help it.
Stop being stupid. You are the reason this is happening so be happy with it.
There was also one more nagging thought hanging around in the back of his mind that he couldn't quite put into words...

Later on that night, he was back in bed in the library, Amy leaning on his shoulder again. “Did my mom talk to you about sleeping in here?”

“Yeah, I'm gonna sleep in your mom's room tonight.”

“Are you sure? I'm sorry she's being like this. It's so stupid.”

“No, really, it's fine,” Amy said. “It's the last thing on my mind. Man, my head's in such a whirlwind. I've been trying not to think about anything all day but I'm so confused.”

“Me too. I don't even know what I'm supposed to think anymore.”

“Do you think this is a good idea? Can you imagine a life with me? Must sound awful.” She giggled. “It's not too late to back out.”

“It doesn't sound awful. There's no one else I'd rather live with.”

“Aww, you're so sweet. You don't think this will ruin our friendship, do you? I can't bear to think about that.”

“Not gonna lie,” Cole said. “It occurred to me too but I don't think that's something we can worry about right now. Besides, I don't know of any good alternatives. I'm sure we'll be fine. How could anything mess this up?”

“That is true. By the way, my offer still stands.”

Cole turned his head to her and furrowed his brow. “Huh?”

“Well, since this arrangement is only temporary, we can kiss without it being weird. Only if you want to of course.”

That nagging sensation had strengthened. “I don't know. Is that such a good idea?”

“Don't be such a pansy. Don't you wanna to know what it's like? It won't mean anything. Do it for curiosity's sake.” She rolled over on top of him, propping herself up with one arm on either side of his head and staring down into his eyes.

Cole's mouth had instantly dried into cotton and he found all of his strength sapped. His mouth was failing him. He watched her, paralyzed, as she slowly lowered her face towards his, her lips puckered, her eyes sparkling expectantly. He closed his eyes as their lips touched and felt a new sensation course through his body, detaching his mind from reality. The pressure increased for a moment and then it was gone.

He opened his eyes to find her on her side next to him, smiling. “See, wasn't that fun?”

Cole blinked, hard. “Yeah. That was... different.” He smiled. “I'm glad we did it.”

“Me too.”

A knock at the door startled them and they both bolted upright as the door opened.

“Bedtime,” Meredith said. “Come, Amy. I'll get you set up.” Anxiety kept Cole awake for a long while, but when he finally fell from consciousness, he experienced one of the soundest sleeps he could remember.

22

Meredith took Amy to see a lawyer the next day while Cole was in school. At lunchtime, Martin came over alone to sit across from Cole.

Cole shifted in his chair irritably, noticing that Martin's usual smirk was missing. “Hey Martin.”

“I heard what happened. I can't believe you were telling the truth. Man, that sucks bad.”

“Oh, yeah, I know. I didn't think you would believe me so I let it go.”

“I saw her with your mom yesterday,” Martin said. “Is she staying with you?”

“Yeah.” He looked away, in anticipation of Martin's disgust.

“Hey man. You're a better friend to her than I thought. I'm sorry for all the stuff I said. You wanna come sit with us?”

Cole stared into Martin's face at a loss for words, failing to find any deception. “Uh, um, sure, I guess. Thanks.”

He gathered his lunch together and followed Martin to the waiting group.

“Hey, Cole,” one of them piped up. “I'm Jay.”

“I'm Chris.”

They each went in turn around the circle introducing themselves. By the time they reached the end, Cole still only remembered Martin's name, but he hoped it didn't matter.

“You probably know way more about what happened than we do,” one of them said. “Could you tell us?”

Cole recounted some of the events of the night, leaving out the real reason he was at Amy's house and the whole investigation from Child Services. “So then, since she has no family, my mother decided to do the right thing and take her in.”

All the boy's eyes went wide. “What?!” a number of them said in unison.

“Serious? So you're like brother and sister now?” Martin said. “She only met you like a month ago.”

“It's only temporary foster care and it's not official yet,” Cole said. “They're talking to a lawyer today.”

“Man, that's crazy. And we were all joking about how you were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

A slight chill ran through Cole's body. “No, we're not like that.” He let out a weak, forced laugh.

“Yeah, seems like it'd be kinda weird now,” someone said.

“Totally,” Cole said.

They continued asking him questions for the next few minutes until the bell signaling the end of lunch sounded and Cole was free from the interrogation. He admitted to himself that he enjoyed being the center of attention but this was not a topic he was comfortable talking about, partly since he was afraid of violating Amy's privacy and trust. She should be the one to tell them.

His mother and Amy were waiting for him outside at the end of the day.

Amy waved to him. “Hey, bro. Your family just got a little bigger.”

“It went through? Already?!” Cole embraced her in a massive hug. “Welcome to the family.”

“They'll be keeping tabs on us but she's cleared to stay,” Meredith said. “I thought we should celebrate, sorry, no, not celebrate, um, make it official tonight out to dinner.”

Beth joined them for dinner that evening and there was a steady conversation among the four of them, sometimes bordering on happy, and a couple of times Amy even smiled. Throughout dinner, though, her face would occasionally droop, and whoever noticed first would try to ask her a question to distract her.

Cole did not approve of this method for dealing with her change in mood and, when they were alone in the library that night, he said to her, “Have you talked with my mom about everything you're going through?”

Her face fell back into a state of depression that was almost unknown a couple days ago but had already become familiar. “She asked me if I wanted to talk about anything a bunch of times and I told her a little
, but honestly, I wasn't really comfortable talking to her.”

“Do you want to talk to me?”

“That's sweet of you. I don't really know what to say.”

He took a seat in the posture he had learned from his psychologist. “Whatever you want.”

Amy leaned back in her chair. “I'm so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I should be more upset than I am and it scares me. I feel like there's something wrong with me.” A tear started to streak down her cheek but she wiped it away.

“There's nothing wrong with you. There's no right way to feel. Besides, I'm sure your brain isn't capable of processing what's happened. Don't feel bad about that.”

“Thanks, Cole. I still feel horrible about it but you're probably right. I'm scared about a lot of things, though. All of a sudden I'm left in this world with no family and nothing certain about the future.”

“There's one certainty.”

A weak smile found its way across Amy's face. “True. And I am thankful for that. God, I just miss them so much. I haven't been able to accept that my mom isn't coming back and every night I pray that my dad gets better. But then if he does, what will happen? He could wake up at any moment and then what? Dammit Cole, I can't handle this...”

She broke down into sobs and Cole came over to comfort her.

“Thanks Cole, you're the best friend I could ever hope for. I feel better for getting that out.”

“Of course. I'm always here for you. You'll be all right, I promise.”

There was a knock at the door and Amy hurriedly wiped away her tears as Meredith entered.

“Amy, are you all right?” Meredith said. “Were you crying?”

“I'll be all right. Comes and goes.”

“I think I know something that will help,” Meredith said. “Cole's been going for a while to see a psychologist. She's really good, as Cole can tell you, and it might help to talk to her. Of course, you don't have to, but I do recommend it.”

“Seems worth a shot,” Amy said. “Thanks, Mrs. Sicarius.”

“Great, I'll try to make an initial appointment sometime tomorrow. We can have a repeat of today and then I'll take you there.”

“You don't have to go to work tomorrow again?” Cole said incredulously.

“Meh, I didn't like it. I had enough of it and it's for the best that I can spend more time at home.”

“I hope I didn't make you quit,” Amy said.

“Not at all, Sweetie. I needed a change of pace. I left so I could find something better. There are plenty of jobs out there.” She cleared her throat. “I'll be back in a bit for bed.”

After Cole's mom closed the door, Amy curled up next to Cole as had become the norm, but this time Cole cringed as she wrapped around his arm.

“What's the matter?” Amy said, pushing herself up onto her elbow.

“I don't know. I'm sorry, it feels weird. Is it okay to be so close now that we're living together?”

Amy laughed. “Are you serious? You're such a...”

Cole shot up into a sitting position and held his finger to his lips to quiet her. In the silence, the sound of voices wafted in from the other room. “Shh, one sec. I wanna hear this.”

He climbed out of bed and pressed his ear up against the door so that the words were now audible. Amy joined him and the two of them stood there, motionless, barely breathing.

“...give in,” Meredith was saying.

“It's about time,” came Beth's reply. “How long have I been dogging you about this? Your lifestyle was just unhealthy. You were on a course for an early death.”

“Don't say that. God, I hate taking favors. This is very short-term, only until I find another job. Those bastards. I was the hardest worker they had...”

“Don't worry. There's other opportunities out there. But you're damn right it better be short-term. I don't have the funding to adopt you.”

Meredith chuckled. “Thanks, Sis.”

“And here,
I got you a cell phone. Don't argue. You need it. You're welcome.”

“What? No,
I can't.”

“Yes, you can. Take it.
I said, don't argue.”

The conversation evolved into a new topic and Cole and Amy lay back down on the bed.

“No, this is awful,” Amy said. “I made your mom lose her job. It's all my fault.”

“You don't know that. Besides, trust me, it's for the best. She's too stubborn to accept any help from my aunt and she was killing herself working way overtime before you were even here. I hardly saw her anymore. She needs this.”

“All right. By the way, have you heard anything from Travis lately? What's going on with that?”

“Don't remind me. I've been trying not to think about him. Did I not tell you? Ever since the last incident, he moved away and I've heard nothing from him since.”

“I guess that's a good thing?” Amy said.

“I don't know. You'd think I'd be happy
, but to be honest, it scares the hell outta me.”

“Do you think you'll hear from him again?”

“Probably. I can't imagine he's gone for good but God knows what he's doing,” Cole said and bit his lip. “But no point thinking about it since there's nothing I can do, right?”

“Yeah, true.” There was a short silence. “Just one more thing I have sitting around in the back of my mind. Your psychologist was helpful?”

Cole exhaled loudly. “I guess I have a slight confession. Kinda embarrassing but here goes. I never had a single friend before you. Never wanted one, really, or so I thought, because I always considered myself above my peers. But my mom wanted me to have a normal childhood with friends my age so she sent me to Dr. Stern to try to help me get friends.”

“And then you met me. That kind of backfired on that whole normal childhood thing.”

Cole laughed. “No, I'm really glad I met you and if it wasn't for Dr. Stern I never would have. She was the one who gave me that little initial push.”

“Little initial push? Sounds like she's mediocre.” They both laughed. “No, really, she sounds amazing. A life-changer. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm glad you went to her. Otherwise I wouldn't be here right now.” She curled into a ball by Cole's side and closed her eyes.

Cole's mind was a flurry of emotion. The events of the past month and all of his memories with his psychologist and Amy came flooding back to him, along with all of the scary, mixed emotions that were associated with them. He looked down at Amy by his side and silently thanked Dr. Stern. It was all worth it.