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Authors: Michelle Rowen

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“And you and Paul…?”

“Oh, my God.” She beamed. “He’s so amazing. I can’t believe I never gave him a chance before.”

“Yeah, me, too. But—” how could I approach this in a way that wouldn’t do more damage? “—you kissed him.”

She dug in her locker and pulled out some supplies for her art class before closing it and leaning her shoulder against it. “I know you’re mad at me for that.”

“I’m not mad, I’m…concerned.”

“He’s fine. You saw it yourself. And I feel fine. Let’s not make this a big deal, okay?”

“Why did it happen? And…has it ever happened before?”

A little of the happiness disappeared from her face. “That was the first time. I couldn’t help it. He smelled so unbelievably good, I couldn’t stop myself. And he wanted to kiss me. I didn’t force him or anything.” Instead of looking guilty, she looked wistful. “He was so delicious, I can’t even explain it.”

It made me cringe at the reminder of my kiss with Bishop, which had been both amazing and horrible for different reasons. “You need to promise me that won’t ever happen again.”

Her smile faded. “I don’t know if I can promise that.”

“Carly—”

“Look.” Her voice went from bubbly to sharp in two seconds flat. “I have it under control. I got the warnings—don’t feed too much or I could totally lose control. I
won’t
feed too much. But I can’t not feed at all. Not anymore. So just get off my back about this, okay?”

I faltered. “I’m just worried about you.”

“Don’t be. Paul’s fine. I already saw him this morning. He’s
fine.
So stop trying to make me feel guilty, because it’s not going to work. Maybe you should focus a little more on yourself rather than me. You’re the one with the problem.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. Two of them. Around six-two, gorgeous, dangerous as hell?”

Well, one of them was. The other was just six-two, gorgeous and dangerous.

My stomach sank further the longer this conversation went on. Carly seemed different today. She didn’t see that what she’d done was that bad. I had a feeling that if I kept pushing her, it wouldn’t get her to promise me not to kiss Paul—or anyone else—again. It would only make her angry with me.

“Let’s forget about all of this,” I said. “I trust you.”

“Good to hear.” Her smile immediately returned in full, shining force. “We need to go back to Crave again tonight. Just because I’m seeing Paul doesn’t mean I have to be exclusive. I swear, not to sound full of myself, but guys are flocking to me now.
Flocking.
I’ve never felt this good about myself in my life
.

I wanted to cry. The old Carly would see there was a problem here. A
big
problem. This Carly, the one missing her soul—she’d changed.
I’m so sorry
.
I’ll do everything I can to fix this. Fix you. I promise.

“Crave, tonight,” I said, nodding enthusiastically. “That sounds great.”

“Oh! I almost forgot. I have a note for you from Natalie.” She dug into her purse and pulled out a sealed envelope.

My shoulders stiffened. “That’s from Natalie?”

“Yup.” She handed it to me. “We’ll talk more at lunch, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Okay.”

She took off down the hall and I stared at the envelope for a long moment before I finally opened it up and read the handwritten note inside.

Samantha,

There’s not much time left. I need the dagger and I need it tonight. Bring it to me at Crave as soon as you can. I trust you to do the right thing.

—Natalie

Sure. No pressure there.

Not much time left? What did that mean? The angel who’d sabotaged Bishop’s entry into Trinity had wanted to destroy the entire city to squash the threat of the grays. He saw grays like a virus and the barrier was acting like a quarantine tent so no one infected could get out. Did more angels feel the same way? Demons, too?

Or did she mean that Bishop had nearly found her? I knew he’d seen her but hadn’t approached yet. She feared for her life—that must be it.

My loyalties were still torn. She was my aunt—I believed it. I didn’t want her to die. She was the only way I could find my real father.

Bishop claimed that he could help her, if she wanted his help.

This could still be okay in the end. Nobody had to die. Not if I had any say in the matter.

So what was my immediate plan?

English class. Yes, that seemed like a good idea. Listening to Mr. Saunders drone on about Shakespeare sounded better than anything else I needed to face right now. In English, I could zone out, recharge, and figure out my next move in peace.

“If I may have your attention,” Mr. Saunders said. He adjusted his round glasses as I sat down behind my desk.

He wrote something on the blackboard. It took me a second to clue in to what it said and what it meant.

SURPRISE QUIZ.

Oh, crap.
There went my chance to zone out.

Mr. Saunders looked evil with delight at the groans that rippled through the class. Nobody did surprise tests anymore. It was so unfair, especially considering how little I’d paid attention this week. Even though my life had fallen apart and I didn’t know how to put it all back together again. I didn’t want to jeopardize my good grades. I’d worked damn hard for them and they represented a potential scholarship to get me into my college of choice. And the chance to get out of this city for the first time in my life. To my…future.

Out of this city, even though there was a barrier around it keeping in all supernatural beings—including yours truly.

Mr. Saunders placed the multiple choice quiz in front of me as a million questions sped through my mind, none of which were about
Macbeth
and could fit neatly into an (a) through (d) choice.

I scanned the questions, but didn’t really read them. Time ticked by, but my mind was elsewhere.

If Natalie managed to leave the city—with or without my help—she could eventually infect the whole world. No more souls. Which was why Heaven and Hell had stepped in as soon as they realized Natalie was in town.

If Bishop and the others failed, then there were those who wanted to destroy this city just like I’d seen in my vision. To them, a million people were expendable, but six billion weren’t. After all, they’d still get the souls of the dead either way.

To me, even one person lost was too many.

I longed to talk to Bishop. He could say something that might help me figure out what to do next. And it wasn’t just advice I wanted. I ached to see him again. I needed him. I missed him. Without him, I felt like I didn’t know what to—

Snap!

A vision slammed into me, making me gasp and clutch at the sides of my desk. My eyes went wide as the blackboard and the rest of the classroom before me flicked to a totally different image.

It was…the church. The abandoned church.

Kraven and Zach were both staring at me. Roth sat off to the left in a wooden pew inspecting his fingernails. Connor paced back and forth behind the pulpit. Light streamed in through the stained-glass window behind him. In the daylight I realized it was a depiction of Noah’s Ark.

“You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Kraven snapped.

“Who me?” I asked, confused.

“I’m not feeling sorry for myself,” Bishop growled back at him. It was his voice, but I couldn’t see him anywhere.

Kraven rolled his eyes. “You are. Just like old times, bro. It’s really pathetic.”

“Go to hell.”

“Been there, done that.”

A pair of hands moved over my eyes—Bishop’s hands, as if he was trying to block out the world, and then

Snap!—
I was back in my classroom.

That was Bishop. I’d just seen through Bishop’s eyes.

What the
hell?

Suddenly I realized everyone was staring at me. A few looked back at me as they handed their finished quizzes in to Mr. Saunders at the front of class. What had I said or done just now to draw this much attention to myself?

Class was almost over. A glance at the clock told me there were only five minutes left.

“Ms. Day,” Mr. Saunders said with a frown. “Are you all right?”

“I—I don’t think so.”

I thought he was going to get mad at me for interrupting the end of the test, but instead he looked concerned. “Do you need to leave?”

I just nodded, scrambled to get my things and bolted from class as if I was being chased. It kind of felt like I was.

Chapter 20

 

When I got to my locker, I collapsed to the floor and clutched my binder to my chest.

I’d just seen through Bishop’s eyes. And I had no idea if it was a vision of the future or something that was happening right now.

I could read the others’ minds if they weren’t trying to block me out, but not Bishop’s. I’d tried and it hadn’t worked. But this—it wasn’t like reading his mind at all. I couldn’t sense any emotions or thoughts from him, I’d just seen and heard exactly what he had.

And it had given me a major headache in return. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples while I tried to breathe. When I opened my eyes again, Colin was kneeling next to me. I stifled a shriek.

So much for avoiding the ongoing problem he presented.

“Sam…hey,” he said cautiously. “Are you okay?”

I looked up at him. “I think I have a small chance for survival, but I’m not totally sure about that.”

“You’re funny.” He grinned a little, but a frown still drew his brows together. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a bad headache.”

“I’ll try to be quiet.”

“You don’t have to stay with me.”

“I don’t mind.” He sat down next to me and reached over to brush the hair off my forehead. Not good. He was way too close to—

Snap!
The hallway disappeared and suddenly I was back in the church.

“I need to find her.” Bishop sounded angry. “You can’t keep me here forever.”

“You’re not going anywhere near her,” Zach replied calmly. “Not when you’re feeling like this.”

“I’m fine. I’m thinking straight.”

“Doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing. The demons—well, they don’t understand why it’s such a big loss to know you’re cut off from Heaven—especially like this. But I do. To think there’s a chance it could be taken from me forever would be too much to bear.”

Bishop barked out a short, humorless laugh. “Are you trying to help or make this worse?”

Zach grimaced but moved closer to put a hand on Bishop’s shoulder. “Sorry, really. All I’m saying is you can confide in me, anything at all, for as long as I’m here. And when I go back, I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Connor feels the same way. I know you think she can help you, but she can only make this worse. Samantha’s dangerous, Bishop. You just need to stay right here and—

Snap!

I was back in the school hallway as if someone had changed the channel on a television. Colin gripped me by the shoulders, and he looked confused and concerned. My head was seriously throbbing now and my heart pounded hard and fast. I pressed back against my locker, feeling the cold metal through my thin blue shirt.

Bishop wanted to find me. My heart swelled. I thought he might hate me now that he’d had time to process what happened last night, but he wanted to see me again. But they weren’t letting him.

“You’re so pale. Do you want me to take you to the nurse’s office?”

“No, I’m fine.” I made myself get to my feet. After opening my locker, I shoved my binder inside and pulled out my bag.

Zach was right. I was dangerous to Bishop. If I kissed him again, I could destroy him completely.

Colin stood up, too. “I’m worried about you.”

“Thanks, but…you don’t have to be.” I really didn’t want him involved in any of this. I was dangerous to more than just Bishop.

He sighed. “Look, I know you’ve been trying to avoid me all week.”

And here I thought I’d been all sneaky and subtle about it. And also, based on this conversation, a total failure.

He continued, “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was pushing you for an answer. I understand that you don’t want to mess up your friendship with Carly, but I do feel like we have something between us.”

I eyed him, wishing for the time when a high school love triangle might have been my biggest problem. “You think so, huh?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t you?”

I reminded myself that none of this was Colin’s fault; he was just an innocent bystander. But having him near me only made everything more difficult. My hunger had been MIA ever since I’d kissed Bishop, but it was beginning to make its thunderous return the longer Colin stood here. He smelled so good, I couldn’t help but notice.

Even though Colin being close to me did trigger my hunger, it was still nothing compared to what I felt when I was with Bishop. Colin smelled good and I felt that lure—but he wasn’t Bishop.

Nobody affected me like Bishop did.

Still, Colin was a serious distraction and another reminder of my hunger and what it could mean if I gave in to it.

“Oh, Colin,” I said, shutting my eyes for a moment before opening them again to look at him bleakly. “You’re making everything worse just by being around me.”

He blinked. “Oh.”

I shook my head, my heart clenching. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I didn’t see any other way to keep him safely away from me. “I have to go.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home, probably. I…I don’t know. I just need to get away from here.”

His expression tightened. “You mean, away from
me.

I hissed out a breath, hating that my hunger made everything so much more difficult than it had to be. I had to end this right now.

“God, Colin, just take the hint, would you?” I forced the words out. “I’m not interested in you. I’m sorry if I made you think differently, but I don’t like you that way. I don’t like you at
all
after what you did to Carly. So just stay away from me.”

I tried not to flinch as the pain slid through his eyes. “Yeah, no problem. I think I can take the hint when it’s delivered that loudly.”

He walked away as students filled the hallway after class.

I sighed and leaned back against my locker, bashing the back of my head gently against it.

“Nice,” somebody said. I turned to see Jordan standing there with her arms crossed, her long red hair like a curtain over her left shoulder. “Let ’em down nice and easy, huh?”

“You heard that?”

She shrugged. “Couldn’t help it. You were practically yelling at him. You actually had me fooled after being all over him the other morning. Thought you liked him.”

“Get lost,” I mumbled. I didn’t have the energy to deal with her this morning and she was just making me feel worse about what I’d said to Colin.

It was for his own good, I reminded myself. But that didn’t make it any easier.

“Get lost?”
Her eyebrows went up. “Is that the best you’ve got for me today? Pretty pathetic.”

“That’s me, pathetic. But you already think that so what the hell do I care?” A lump was growing in my throat at a rapid pace. It hurt to swallow past it.

Jordan eyed me. “You’re kind of a freak, you know that? I don’t know how you managed to keep any friends at all. First with the klepto thing, then with the boyfriend-stealing thing. It’s almost like you’re completely losing your—” Her voice broke off and a frown creased her brow. “Hey, you don’t look so good.”

My bottom lip was wobbling of its own free will; I had nothing to do with it. “Just leave me alone.”

“You told Colin you’re going home. How are you getting there?”

“I’ll walk. It’s not far.” I pushed at a tear that had managed to escape, annoyingly enough, and turned away so she couldn’t see it.

She groaned. “No, forget it. I’ll drive you myself. You can’t go anywhere like this. You’re a total wreck. You’ll probably walk out in front of a bus.”

I shot her a look. “
You’re
going to drive me home.”

“I guess I am.”

“Why?”

“You want a ride or not? Stop overanalyzing, Samantha. It’s really unattractive.”

I felt too tired to overanalyze at the moment. Or even just analyze.

Going home sounded good. So I ended up trudging after Jordan out to her car—a white Mercedes SLK convertible—expecting her to take this opportunity to be cruel, cutting or a general bitch.

She didn’t, other than looking put out by her own suggestion to drive me home.

“Nice car,” I observed as we got inside. “Let me guess, it’s a present from your parents?”

“Just my mother. She’s in Hollywood, you know, doing her soap opera.” She didn’t say it with much pride, more like resentment. “This was my birthday present to make up for the fact she’d rather be there than here these days.”

“I have a father like that,” I said. “He usually sends fifty-dollar bills and emails, though, not luxury sports cars.”

I also had a mother who’d barely noticed me for two years and now could barely look me in the eye. But my personal family drama would have to take a backseat right now. Not that this car had a backseat.

Jordan reversed out of the parking spot and shifted into Drive. “Maybe we have more in common than we thought.”

Absentee parents aside, I sincerely doubted that.

Although, I couldn’t help but eye her a little, curious about her and Stephen.

“Can I ask you a question?” I said.

“What?”

“Why did you and Stephen break up?”

She glared at me. “You’re seriously asking me that?”

“Did he want to see other people?” Or had he done it so he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her—and take her soul?

Her face paled and her knuckles were white on the steering wheel. “He didn’t give me a reason. He sent an email and then refused to take any calls from me. The one time I saw him after that, he started walking in the other direction. Happy now?”

It didn’t give me any information other than the fact that he was a jerk who wanted to avoid confrontation. “I’m sorry.”

“Sure you are. Now shut up.”

I did as requested.

As Jordan pulled away from the school, I felt guilty about leaving early, or rather, leaving Carly there. It felt like I was abandoning her. But I wasn’t. Not for long, anyway.

I’d see her again tonight. I knew exactly where she’d be.

No catastrophes happened on the short drive to my house. None at all, which was a bit surprising. Bracing myself for the worst did take some effort.

“Thanks for this, but I don’t understand,” I said to Jordan as I stepped out of her car after she arrived in my driveway. “You don’t like me. I don’t like you. Why did you bother to drive me home?”

She rolled her eyes. “Because I’m nice, stupid.”

She pulled away and I watched the car disappear into the distance.

Jordan Fitzpatrick had been nice to me today. Well,
her
version of nice, anyway.

I’d take it.

When I let myself into the house, I felt an overwhelming wave of exhaustion, plus the headache from earlier hadn’t let up yet. I tried to tell myself I’d only imagined seeing through Bishop’s eyes because I’d been thinking about him nonstop since the kiss last night. It really was too bad I was such a realist. I believed what I saw with my own two eyes.

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