Dark Inside (23 page)

“Where are you headed?” he finally asked.

Relief washed over her. She could answer this one. “Seattle. My brother, Heath, is there. At least I hope he’s there, I don’t really know for sure. We couldn’t get ahold of him after the earthquake, and my mom and I were going to head out together. But that didn’t work out so well. My … my parents were shot down along with the rest of my town. I think, well, I’m pretty sure I was the only one who got out.”

“Does that make you lucky?”

She shrugged. “I guess you could say that. What about you?”

Anger flashed in his eyes. His fingers froze on the mug, gripping it until his knuckles turned white. “My family is dead,” he finally said through gritted teeth. “At least I think so. I haven’t seen them since this started. And so is the group I was traveling with. The Baggers found us, and if it’s all right with you, I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Reaching down onto the seat, he pulled out the bottle of whiskey and poured himself another. “Want some?”

She shook her head. She wasn’t much of a drinker; she tended to get physically sick once the room started to spin. It made even less sense to drink these days, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. It wasn’t her business.

“I’m done anyway after this,” he said. “I can tell you’re not impressed. But I’m not drinking to get drunk. Just needed one. It’s been one of those days.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I understand that.”

“Besides, it’s not safe to get too whacked out. Never know if they’re watching.”

She nodded again. “Do you think they’re still around?”

“The ones who did all the hanging? No, they’re long gone. I spent the afternoon searching the town. If they were here, they would have found me by now. I’ve been sitting in this spot for a few hours. Made it real easy for them to come get me.”

She didn’t know what to say. It almost sounded like he had a death wish, waiting in the dark for the monsters to come.

“Why don’t we make some dinner,” he said, as if reading her mind and wanting to change the subject. “Are you hungry? I found a little Coleman stove and some propane back at the hardware store. There’s not much to work with, but I’ll
bet I can throw something together. I’m pretty decent. Used to do all the cooking for my dad.”

“Sure.”

They moved into the kitchen, where she was able to bring out her candles and get them some light. The only windows into the room were on the door, and she covered them up with newspaper and taped it in place. Anyone passing by wouldn’t see a thing.

She found some potatoes that looked pretty decent and started boiling water on the stove while Michael went through the cans looking for something decent to work with. To their surprise the big walk-in freezer was still cool, and they found some semi-defrosted hamburger meat and decided to take a chance. They ended up with chili burgers, mashed potatoes, and some half-melted ice cream for dessert.

“Enjoy,” he said. “This is probably the last time you’ll ever get ice cream and hamburgers. It’ll be a long time before anyone makes anything that doesn’t come out of a can. It’s not like we can start planting gardens anytime soon. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not really the type to go out and kill a cow.”

“As long as I’m not forced to eat Spam and canned turnips, I’ll survive,” she said. “I don’t get Spam. What exactly is it? Ham? Lunch meat? It’s creepy.”

“Maybe a bit of both?” He bit into his second burger, leaving chili sauce at the corner of his mouth. “I agree, it’s nasty.”

“I guess I can’t complain,” she said. “I’ve been living off Oreos and Goldfish crackers since this whole thing started. I think I’ve drank enough Red Bull to last a lifetime. And I don’t even like Red Bull. It tastes like cow pee.”

Michael laughed. “You’re a connoisseur of fine tastes. However will you survive this apocalypse?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I can find a sushi place that still delivers.”

It was nice. The food tasted amazing and the conversation was fun. It reminded her of happier days. For the first time in weeks she was enjoying herself. She let down her guard and forgot about all the dangers outside. She hadn’t realized how much she needed it. Michael seemed to be doing better, too. The pained expression on his face softened, and when he laughed, she saw some sparkle in his eyes.

“I never asked you where you’re going?” she said after they’d finished their meals. She sipped on a bottle of orange juice while he drank one of her water bottles.

“Haven’t really been going anywhere,” he replied. “I was with a group of people and we were pretty much just going around looking for food. Never had any destination in mind, just wanted to be somewhere safe. That didn’t work out so well.”

“You’re welcome to come with me.”

He looked away from her and studied the kitchen for the longest time. She became embarrassed. Had she done something wrong? Asked too soon? Was there some sort of grace period in this new world? Maybe he thought she was coming on to him. He probably thought she looked terrible or maybe she smelled. She hadn’t had a chance to clean herself up in days. She must look awful.

“Yeah, maybe,” he finally said.

Her cheeks flushed.

“I don’t mean to sound like a jerk,” he said, reading her mind once again. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m terrible at this stuff. The last group of people I was with are dead. Maybe I’m unlucky. Are you sure you want me tagging along?”

“I’m willing to take my chances.”

“Okay, then.”

She looked down at her dishes, the remains of the ice cream sticking to the bowl. “I guess we don’t have to clean up. It’s not like anyone’s going to complain.”

“One of the benefits,” he said. “Look, there’s a motel just down the road and I’ll bet we can spend the night there. Or if you want we can head out. I’m not really tired anymore. Might be better to set off in the daylight, though. It gets pretty dark around here, and we can’t exactly use flashlights. We’d be spotted a mile away.”

“Yeah,” she said. For the first time in weeks she wasn’t tired in the slightest, but it probably wasn’t logical to go back on the road now. He was right. They’d be better off waiting till morning. “We can check out the motel. Would be nice to clean up a bit.”

“There’s a clothing shop in town too,” he said.

She looked down at the plaid shirt she was wearing. She’d forgotten it was covered in dried blood. It seemed like ages ago that she’d stabbed that guy, that Bagger, who tried to hurt her.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea also.”

“Then let’s go find your brother,” he said.

She smiled. Having him around was going to be nice. Safe. He made her feel safe for the time being.

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea.” Paul stroked his chin, which was now covered with several days’ worth of stubble.

“You said the same thing about Canmore. We need supplies. We’ve got no more food. And I for one am starving. You’ve got a hungry bird here, and my tail feathers are starting to get heated up. I need sugar.”

Mason snorted. “What exactly does that mean?”

Chickadee laughed. “It means I’m getting bitchy.”

They were crouched in the woods at the turnoff to the town of Banff, once a major tourist resort. Now the roads were lined with forgotten cars and camper vans. And bodies. It wasn’t pretty, and Mason spent a lot of time averting his gaze toward the gravel. A few weeks ago he’d told himself that he no longer cared. The numbing effect still hadn’t worn off; the anger inside him lay dormant, wrapped around the darkest corners of his brain. But as time went on, little bits pushed their way forward. Certain memories refused to be forgotten. He thought about his mother a lot, wondering if she was still in the hospital and what her body might look like. He thought about Tom and wondered if his friends experienced
terror as their bodies crushed and snapped. Or had it been over quickly and painlessly? Did they even have a chance to run as the school tumbled down around them?

Too many thoughts whispered inside his head.

Despite this, he found it was hard not to be cheerful at times when Chickadee was around.

“You must have been a Buddhist monk or something in a past life,” she had proclaimed a few days after she met him. “I swear, people who have taken vows of silence say more than you.”

Mason had shrugged and turned his head, but he knew full well she’d seen the smile on his face. At first he resented it, hated the fact that he was enjoying the company of his new friends. A good part of him still didn’t believe he deserved it. But as the days went by, a little bit of company went a long way. He was lonely. He hadn’t realized it. Having some new friends made the nights a little easier.

“I think it’s too big,” Paul said again. He was by far the most cautious of the group. Mason figured he was the reason Chickadee was still alive. She was spontaneous, always ready to jump in without checking things out. It was almost as if she didn’t realize the danger actually applied to her. Or she didn’t care. Paul was the opposite; he took time to assess the situation, carefully thinking through his actions, constantly aware of the consequences.

“It’s not really a big town at all,” Chickadee said. “I’ve been here. Nothing but hotels and bars. I think we’ll be safe.”

“We should go on.”

“The next town is days away,” she said. “I can’t wait that long. There’s a Safeway there. I need a pharmacy.” She gave Paul a long look, and Mason saw the way he turned and avoided her gaze.

“Why do you need a pharmacy?” Mason asked, alarm bells going off inside his head. “Are you okay?”

“I think I’m coming down with a cold,” she said a little too quickly. “Nothing serious.”

She didn’t look sick, but she did look tired. There were bags under her eyes, but all three of them looked like they were dying for a good night of uninterrupted sleep.

“You sure?” Mason put his hand up to her forehead, and she quickly knocked it away.

“Just a cold, nothing else.” She bit her lip and frowned, a look he knew meant she wasn’t planning on saying anything else.

“Then we go in,” he said.

“Two against one,” Chickadee said.

“Fine.” Paul stood up and headed off. When he was in the middle of the road, he paused without looking back. “Well, are you coming?”

Mason and Chickadee shrugged at each other and started to follow.

They headed down the center of the road. There weren’t as many abandoned cars there, but lots of garbage lined the concrete. Opened suitcases—stripped and rummaged through—candy wrappers, even a smashed laptop.

“Looks like there was one hell of a party,” Chickadee said as she stepped around a broken gin bottle. “Can we stop for a second? I’ve got to pee.”

“Sure,” Mason said.

Paul didn’t say anything, but he turned around and knelt down on the road to study something. Chickadee pulled some tissue from her pocket and dashed into the woods. Mason watched her go, making a mental note of where she was before turning his attention to an abandoned iPod.
Picking it up, he tried to make it work, but the battery was dead.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Paul said.

“Huh?”

“We’re not dating. I kinda get the impression you think we’re a couple. But we’re not. Chee and I have known each other since we were babies. I think of her like a sister. She’s tough as nails. Had a really rough life. Both parents were drunks. They beat her too. She’d come over to my place in the middle of the night with bruises all over her body. I used to wish I could help her, stop her pain, make it go away. But I was too little then, and now it’s too late. You need to know this.”

“Why?”

“I won’t stand by and watch her suffer.”

Mason shrugged. “I won’t either. That’s why it’s cool that there are two of us. We can protect her.”

“We can’t save her from everything.”

“What are you saying?”

Paul didn’t answer. Chickadee emerged from the woods, her braids bouncing against her chest.

“Much better,” she said. “Now let’s go rock this place!”

At the edge of town was a plaque that gave a brief history of Banff. Someone had spray painted the words “Baggers Rule” in bright red letters over it. But Chickadee strode by as if it wasn’t even there.

Five dead bodies lay at the entrance to the Safeway. Stacked on top of one another like some sort of bizarre card house. Blood still drained from the cuts on two of them. It was enough to make Mason want to turn around and head back to the highway. But Chickadee calmly walked past them, too, and headed
into the store. Mason and Paul had no choice but to follow.

He liked her bravery. In fact, the more time Mason spent with her, the more he grew to adore Chickadee. Now that he knew Paul and her weren’t a couple, he began to look at her in a different light. She wasn’t what someone might consider beautiful; her nose was crooked and she was too short. She was also about twenty pounds overweight, but none of that really bothered him. Her personality trumped everything. The more she talked, the more beautiful she grew. She probably never had trouble getting dates.

But this wasn’t the time or place for falling for a girl, Mason reminded himself as they walked past the doors and into the grocery store. It wouldn’t do any good to start complicating things. It could be dangerous to have a crush. Better to concentrate on other stuff.

They walked through the aisles, checking to make sure the place was empty first. Aside from a few dead bodies, the store was clear.

“I’m so sick of canned food,” Chickadee said. “If we were back at home I could have cooked you up a great meal. I’m a totally fantastic chef. You’d fall in love with me instantly. I’m that good.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” She picked up a box of Kraft dinner and frowned at it. “My grandmother taught me how. She used to tell me stories too about how enchanted Indian maidens would cook special foods in order to snag fancy warrior braves. I think she was hinting at something, but at that age I mostly found boys icky.”

“And now?”

Chee laughed. “It made me a great cook. But I still scare the boys away. I think it’s my dynamic personality. Mom always
said my name should have been Barbara Talks Too Much.”