Dark Calling (16 page)

I
SPEAK
clearly and concisely. I don’t think I miss anything important, though I have to backtrack a few times when I recall bits that I overlooked. The others listen in silence, their faces lengthening as I reveal the direness of our situation, the belief of the Old Creatures that the universe is doomed.

There’s silence when I finish. Everyone’s brooding. Even Grubbs looks troubled—his face has altered and become more human.

“I wouldn’t have returned,” Dervish finally says. “I’ve faced a lot in my time, stepped up to all sorts of challenges. But in your position, I’d have stayed on the ark. I wouldn’t have had the guts to come back with so much at risk. I’d have gone with the safe option.”

“Coward,” Kirilli laughs.

“I don’t like being the practical one,” Meera mutters, “but what if he imagined it all? Traveling to the center of the universe… life starting with a chessboard… aliens nudging us up the evolutionary ladder… an ark world. That’s pretty far-fetched, even by our standards. What if he’s crazy? No offense, Kernel.”

“None taken.” I sigh. “I wish it
was
my imagination. But I’m sure it wasn’t.”

“The Kah-Gash told me I was the trigger,” Grubbs says slowly, and he has that shifty look in his eyes again. “In the hospital, when the three of us were together, it said I had the power to unite and direct it. So that part of the story’s true.”

“It’s all true,” Bec snaps. “Let’s not waste time pretending otherwise. Our world is doomed. The universe is damned. Unless we defeat Death.”

“No one ever cheats death,” Dervish says.

“I did,” Bec reminds him.

I say nothing of Raz’s suspicions about Bec. We need to work together, not abandon ourselves to paranoia.

“We need a plan,” Meera says. “Mr. Trigger Man—any ideas?”

Grubbs shrugs. “Track Death down and rip it to pieces. Easy.”

“You almost sound like you believe that,” Dervish snorts.

“I do,” Grubbs insists. “Death made a mistake when it took a body. That puts it on par with us. From what you told me, Beranabus gave as good as he got when he went up against the Shadow. He sent it screaming back to the foul realm of the Demonata. We’re stronger than Beranabus. We can inflict more damage. I say we reassemble the Kah-Gash, hit Death hard, and end this.”

“I don’t know,” Bec murmurs. “The Kah-Gash frightens me more than Death or the Demonata. They can only kill us, but the Kah-Gash can wipe out the universe, so we never even existed in the first place. I don’t think we should unleash its power unless we absolutely have to.”

“Do you have any idea if we can control it?” I ask. “You’re the Kah-Gash’s memory. Is there anything you can tell us about how it functioned in the past?”

Bec shakes her head. “I’ve always had a perfect memory, and now I can absorb the memories of others. This explains why. But I can only recall the memories of my own life or the lives of those I touch. Perhaps, if we joined, the Kah-Gash would reveal more to me, but the dangers…”

“What dangers?” Grubbs snorts. “We’re wrong to be afraid. This is
our
weapon. We own the pieces—hell, we
are
the pieces. We’re the Kah-Gash’s masters.”

“No,” I correct him. “We’re its
hosts.
The pieces have been in thousands of other creatures before. We have no more claim over it than any of them did.”

“Let’s just do it,” Grubbs groans. “It wants to be used. I feel my piece straining to link with yours.”

“I feel that too,” Bec says, “and it scares me. Why is it so eager to be restored, now, after all this time, with Death on the loose and hordes of demons bearing down on our world? It could be plotting against us.”

“It did what we wanted when we linked before,” Grubbs protests. “It took us back in time so that we could stop the tunnel being opened.”

“What if that was a mistake?” Bec argues. “What if we join again and it takes us further back, to when this universe was born? What if it stops that?”

Grubbs scowls and looks away impatiently.

“I share Bec’s concerns,” I tell them. “Even the Old Creatures don’t know what the Kah-Gash is really like, and they’ve been studying it for billions of years. We can’t know its true intentions.”

“Can we afford to wait?” Dervish asks. “If we’re as close to the end as the Old Creatures predict… I think we should test it.”

I sigh. “If it goes wrong, we’ll be condemning all those creatures on the ark.”

“This will sound callous,” Meera says, “but I don’t care. If our world ends, for me
everything
ends. I’m not concerned about other planets, Old Creatures, or aliens. You feel that way too, Kernel. You wouldn’t have come back if you didn’t.”

“But there are so many worlds… so many species…”

“Tough,” Meera snorts. “They’re not our problem. You came back to help save Earth, not the universe. Am I right or am I right?”

I smile weakly. “I can’t argue with that. OK, I’ll give it a try. But if I start to think we can’t beat Death—if it looks like we’re fighting a losing battle—I
will
return to the ark. I won’t go down with a sinking ship.”

Dervish claps my back. “I think you were crazy to return, but I like your style! Here’s what I suggest. We move on to the city where the next crossing’s going to happen and we let the window open. You three link and test yourselves against the demons. If you don’t wreck the universe, we’ll take that experience forward and confront the Shadow. If you
do
wreck the universe… well, we’ll all be dead, so we won’t have to worry about it. How does that sound?”

“Good to me,” Grubbs grunts.

I shrug.

“I suppose,” Bec says hesitantly. “But assuming we pass the test, I’d like to try and learn more about Death before we attack it, find out if it has any weaknesses, if there’s a way to defeat it.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Grubbs sneers. “Send it a questionnaire?”

Bec licks her lips nervously. “We might have an inside man who can help us.”

“What are you talking about?” Dervish frowns.

“It’s something Beranabus said before he died.” Bec shudders. She was close to the old magician. His death hit her hard. “In the hold of the ship, after I told him about Death, he said to tell Kernel to find him.”

“He wanted me to open a window out of the hold,” I mutter, feeling guilty even though I know there’s nothing I could have done to help him.

“That’s what I thought,” Bec nods. “I assumed he planned to escape or knock the lodestone through the window. But the more I think about it, the more I doubt that assumption. He knew he couldn’t last long against the Shadow, that it would take us several minutes to climb the stairs. He knew you were part of the Kah-Gash and that the Shadow wanted to get its hands on you. Why would he ask you to risk capture? He was doomed and he accepted his death. His only concern was that we evade the Shadow and live to fight another day.

“I don’t think he was asking for help.” Bec licks her lips again. “I think he was looking ahead. Once he knew what the Shadow was, he resigned himself to dying. But he didn’t give up the fight. Juni and I are proof that death isn’t the end. When he found out who his enemy was, I believe Beranabus saw a chance to learn more about it and share that information with us.

“Death uses souls to create its body. Maybe it held on to Beranabus’s soul when it killed him. Part of him might be alive inside that monstrous mass of shadows.”

Bec looks at me and grins shakily. “You can locate anything in the universes of the living, Kernel. Do you think you could find a ghost in the realm of the dead?”

T
HERE’S
uproar when Bec suggests Beranabus might still be alive in some form. Grubbs accuses her of living in a dreamland. Meera
gently suggests that she’s in denial, that she needs to accept the ancient magician’s death. But Bec stubbornly pushes her
case, and as she elaborates, our skepticism fades.

We know souls can be separated from bodies—that happened to me in Lord Loss’s kingdom years ago, when I entered the Board.
In the past, a soul couldn’t survive a body’s death, but things have changed. Death is claiming souls and using them. We’ve
no way of knowing if a captured soul remains conscious or not. But if they do… if Beranabus has made a study of Death from
the inside and uncovered its secrets… maybe he can tell us how to kill it.

It’s probably a wild shot in the dark. Grubbs certainly thinks so and says that it’s a waste of time, but the rest of us believe
it’s worth trying.

But before we can set off in pursuit of a dead man, we have the living to take care of. The new window is almost open. In
another few hours, dozens of demons will be streaming across.

While Grubbs fetches his werewolves and Meera rustles up battle-hardened soldiers, I slot patches of light together. Dervish
and Kirilli are resting—Dervish looks shattered, Kirilli scared. Bec’s watching me. Something about her gaze makes me feel
uneasy.

“It must have been amazing,” she says. “Your trip to the stars and beyond sounds incredible.”

“Yes,” I grunt.

“I was wondering…” She coughs. “I’d like to touch you.”

“What?” I squeak, startled, thinking she wants to kiss me.

“I can absorb your memories if we touch,” she says.

“Oh.” I chuckle at my mistake. Then I grow serious. “Why do you want to take my memories?”

“Not take,” she says. “Share. I want to see everything you saw. The lights, the worlds, the Crux. If you grant me access,
I can see all that you did.”

“What does it matter if I show you or not?” I snap.

She looks surprised by my harsh tone. “Well, of course I’m curious,” she says, stammering a bit. “But apart from that I have
perfect recall. If you share with me, I might spot something that slipped your mind.”

“I doubt it,” I sniff.

“But it can’t do any harm, surely, if I just…” She reaches out, then stops as I glare at her. Letting her hand drop slowly,
her expression darkens. “You’re hiding something from us. Just like Grubbs.”

“You saw that too?” I hiss.

“Everyone sees it. Something happened between him and Juni that he doesn’t want us to know.”

“What do you think it might be?” I ask.

“I’ve no idea. But I think I know what
you’re
holding back. You look hostile. I’ve done nothing to make you dislike me, so you must be… afraid.”

“I’m not afraid of you,” I sneer.

“Maybe not. But you’re nervous… more than that…
suspicious
?”

I fidget uncomfortably.

“The Old Creatures said the pieces of the Kah-Gash have been influenced by the hosts they’ve inhabited,” Bec says thoughtfully.
“If my piece of the Kah-Gash was in Lord Loss for thousands of years…” Her expression clears. “You don’t trust me. You think
I might betray you, or that my piece of the Kah-Gash might trick us.”

“Can you say for sure that it won’t?” I ask quietly.

Bec starts to respond hotly, then pauses. “Actually no,” she admits. Then she looks at me piercingly. “But can
you
make any guarantees? Can Grubbs? You don’t know where your pieces were before, or why they ended up in you. Maybe we’ll all
be played for fools.”

“Maybe.” I nod slowly.

Bec smiles thinly. “Go on watching me, Kernel. I don’t mind. But I’ll be watching you too. And Grubbs. I don’t think any of
us can be trusted.”

“You’re right,” I say glumly, then return her smile. “And
we’re
the ones who are supposed to save the world? I don’t like our chances!”

“Me neither,” she laughs, and we grin at each other, united by our uncertainties, paranoia, and fear.

  We could stop the mage before he opens the window, but then we wouldn’t have a chance to test ourselves. I don’t like the
course we’re taking—people will probably die—but there’s no other way. If we want to learn about the Kah-Gash before we go
looking for the Shadow, we have to fight. We could cross to the demon universe and test it there, but that would mean unleashing
the Kah-Gash in an area of total magic. If the weapon’s on the side of the Demonata, that would hand it the perfect opportunity
to break free of any confines we might seek to impose.