Dark and Deadly: Eight Bad Boys of Paranormal Romance (105 page)

“What about God?” she asked.

“God has you. Why would he care about the trash?”

She swallowed hard, hating the pain she heard in those words, pain that echoed in
her
soul. That’s how she’d felt when she’d learned that her own mother had abandoned her—discarded her like trash when she was too young to fend for herself.

He seemed to realize how much he’d revealed. Frowning, he turned away. “All I know,” he said abruptly, “is that something happened in the Beyond and now there are hellhounds on earth. Who knows what else is here that shouldn’t be?”

Questions filled Lilly about what he’d said, about what it meant to humans and the world she lived in. But the question that rose to the surface, the one demanding an immediate answer, was much smaller and, at the same time, so much larger. This was Alex’s world he spoke of. The place he called
home.

“And for you?” she asked softly. “What’s it like for you, Alex?”

He heard the tremble in her voice. The sympathy. The hurt. She knew it by the way he stiffened, the way his fingers curled into his palms and his muscles tightened—all defensive reactions. But he couldn’t defend himself against the feelings she’d stirred.

“I’m different,” he said coolly.

“Different from what? Humans? Because from where I stand, not so much.”

That brought his gaze to hers. The greens and golds inside glimmered with turmoil. He started to say something, stopped, and tried again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“True,” she said, still watching him. Waiting. Because emotion moved across his face, so raw she felt the sting of it. Still, she couldn’t decipher its source.

“I am meant to look like a human,” he said.

“So you keep telling me. Are you meant to feel like one, too?” At his narrowed look, she clarified. “Inside. Emotions.
Feelings
.”

“No.”

He waited for what she’d say next, wariness in every breath. She’d prodded at a sensitive spot he didn’t want exposed, yet she felt driven to pry at whatever he had hidden there.

“But you do,” she said in a low, insistent voice. “Feel.”

He tried to dismiss her with a headshake, but he only made it so far before the gesture died. Lilly crossed to where he stood so still. Alex watched her with a baited tension that trilled along her nerves. She didn’t stop until she was right in front of him, her head tipped back so she could stare into his face.

“You feel me,” she said.

His eyes blazed as he lifted his hand and placed it over her heart. “Yes,” he said, in case she didn’t understand. “I feel you.” He laughed softly. “I can’t seem to stop feeling you.”

It took all her willpower not to smile. Not to cheer
.
His hand slid up to the ridges of her collar bone, then to the hollow at the base of her throat. She wanted to lean into him, to put her hands all over him, too. Instead, she stood as still as he, waiting. Wondering what came next.

“Where I’m from…it’s hard to describe,” he said in a husky voice. “It’s segregated. There are places inside that even I don’t know about. Our experiences are different, depending on where we fit in. Some creatures are trapped forever, like caged animals. Some can move back and forth between the walls. Some can enter your world at will. It depends on what they are and what purpose they serve. Does that make sense?”

She nodded, but really, she wasn’t certain. He spoke of a place so ethereal that it was hard to put parameters around it in her mind.

“I’m a soldier. My purpose is to protect the secrets of the Beyond. It’s critical that I fit in, here on earth. That no one suspect I’m not one of you. I have to know how to talk, how to dress, how to speak. For that to happen, my world has to be based on yours. It’s like a reflection. Everything we have, everything we are—it’s an interpretation of you.”

He paused, watching her watch him. The air seemed suddenly thin, the banked fire overly hot. Alex leaned closer, his fingers circling her throat in a gentle caress.

“We look like you. We talk like you. We think like you. But we aren’t supposed to feel. We aren’t supposed to
be
you.”

“Why not?” she breathed, determined to prove he was wrong.

“It isn’t possible. We are
not
you.”

“How do you know?” she insisted.

He glared at her, looking for a trap in her question. Maybe he had a right, because Lilly meant to corner him. She wanted him to see things from her perspective. Whether he liked it or not.

“I mean, you seem pretty human to me, Alex.”

“I told you—”

“It’s intentional. Yeah, I got it the first time. But what if it’s more than that?”

His other hand joined the first, fingers spread on either side of her throat, palms to her breastbone, thumbs meeting in the middle. Lilly swayed into him, and he bent closer. A soft breath left her lips and fires began to burn in those intoxicating eyes. They flashed like Louisiana waters in summer heat and all hope of self-control vanished in the steam.

“What if it’s more than simply the way you look and act that’s like us?” she asked. “What if you’re exactly like us…you just don’t know it. What if you can stay here?”

The warmth of his breath fanned her cheek. The scent of his skin—soap and Alex and male—wrapped around her and made her long for more.

He shook his head and her heart thumped with painful regret, but then he spoke and his words created a crazy hope deep inside.

“There are rumors about a reaper who crossed over and survived. I don’t know if they’re true.”

“By survived, you mean he’s here? Living here like a human?”

“If gossip can be believed.”

“Then why won’t you even entertain the idea that maybe you could stay, too?”

He caught her stare. Trapped it, really, because once he made contact, there was no breaking free. She could feel the force of his masculinity surrounding her
.
He wasn’t even
doing
anything and she felt it.

His answer hung between them, an unspoken denial or confirmation…Lilly didn’t know. He lowered his lashes, hiding his thoughts away.

“Your skin is so soft,” he said, brushing the back of his knuckles against her jaw before he cupped it. His hands felt hot against her face.

Frustration filled Lilly. She didn’t want to allow this subtle conversation change, but this wasn’t something she could force. Only Alex could decide if he was willing to stay. Only Alex knew if he even wanted to try.

Only Alex could determine if the desire was worth the risk.

He started to say something else but changed his mind. His gaze dropped to her mouth and everything else got lost in his soft exhalation. He meant to kiss her and if he did, she knew she’d be lost. But did she move? Did she avert her eyes or turn away? Not even a little.

She met him in a kiss she craved to her soul. His lips were cold, his mouth hot. He tasted elemental. Copper, salt, lust…man. Her body didn’t care if he was from the Beyond or Kansas. Millions of years of evolution drove her to him. In some primitive, evolved way, he tasted of her future.

A distant, alien sound broke the silence that was filled with their breath and desire. Lilly lifted her head just as Alex did, too. His eyes closed as the strange baying…
howling—
Lilly wasn’t sure what it was—cut through the storm and settled around them. It brought a stroke of fear that traveled down her spine and heralded the reality Lilly didn’t want to face. Belle bounded from her bed beside hearth, barking loudly as she raced to the door. Lilly rested her head against Alex’s chest, took a deep breath, and prepared to face whatever came next.

Belle barked again, loud and insistent. Alex wanted to shout at the dog to stay quiet and he wanted to praise the intelligent creature for sounding the alarm that the other animals soon picked up. Still, it took strength to step away from the soft curves and seduction of Lilly Winslow and longer than it should have for Alex to convince himself he possessed the power to do it. She’d crumbled his defenses, leaving him exposed and out of his depths.

Who cared if others from the Beyond had hunted him down? Who cared if the whole fucking pack of hellhounds waited on the other side of the door?

Reluctantly, he acknowledged that he did.

He’d already killed once to protect Lilly. He’d do it again if he had to.

Another long bay echoed outside and Lilly’s dog pack rushed the door. All but the little one, Harley. The toy dog had been snoozing on the big chair and in his attempt to join the excitement, he got tangled in the blanket and fell to the floor with an indignant yelp that got lost in the clamor.

“What’s making that sound?” Lilly asked.

Alex’s eyes widened as he stared into her face. “You heard it?” He strode to the window and looked out, afraid of her answer. “Tell me what it sounded like.”

Lilly frowned. “A howl, but not like a wolf or coyote. Like something being tortured. What was it?”

“That was a hellhound, Lilly.”

Something she shouldn’t have been able to hear. She paled as she made the same realization.

His machete hung in its scabbard from a hook by the front door. Lilly’s rifle rested against the wall nearby. They armed themselves quickly. Silently. Not touching, not even glancing at one another. Alex knew he didn’t dare. It would only take one lingering look from her lovely eyes to distract him.

The dogs gathered in front of the door, unleashing an uproar, as if their combined voices might make it magically open. Harley danced between their legs. Lilly picked him up a moment before Belle stepped on him. Alex gave the big dog a disquieted glance. He hadn’t forgotten how Belle had charged the hellhound attackers and brought one of them back to the pack.

“I’m worried about your dog,” he said, pointing to the Great Dane.

“Belle?”

He nodded, lifting the edge of the curtain and peering out before he explained. Snow obliterated the sky, the earth, and the air in between. It fell in droves that drifted and whisked, banking against the cabin. It weighted tree branches and obscured the road they’d taken from down below. Lilly’s SUV looked like a white lump beside the porch. Even the footprints the dogs had left earlier had long since been filled in or blown away. He listened for more baying but now only disturbing silence settled in with the cold.

Alex shifted, looking for new tracks or flashes of black against the snow…white lantern eyes glowing with malevolence. Nothing moved out there but the wash of white.

“Yesterday when the hellhounds had me pinned,” he said, still scanning, “Belle attacked one of them about a second before it ripped out my throat. She chased it into the woods.”

Lilly moved to his side and touched his arm. He faced her, taking in her drawn features and worried eyes.

“I saw that,” she said. “I just didn’t know what was happening. It looked like she slammed into an invisible wall when she was jumping over you. Then she ran off into the woods….”

“She chased it away.” He frowned, still holding her gaze. “Hellhounds don’t run from anything. But she chased it into the woods.”

They both looked at Belle. The dog prowled in front of the door, but now stopped and stared back. She pricked her ears and cocked her head, as if listening to every word. The other dogs quieted and waited for the outcome of the conversation.

Uneasy, Alex went on. “Later, after you showed up and started shooting, she came back.”

Lilly nodded. “Yes. I was so relieved. I’d just hiked halfway up that stupid mountain looking for her. I thought she’d run off again.”

“She wasn’t alone,” he said. “There was so much going on, I couldn’t be sure of what I saw. But now… Lilly, she brought that hellhound back with her. Like they were…friends. And it stood in front of you and didn’t try to eat you.”

“It was standing in front of
me?
”

He nodded. “And all the other dogs. They should have been tasty little treats to a hellhound. Especially that one.”

He pointed at Harley. Ferociously, Harley growled back.

“What did the hellhound want?” Lilly said, frowning.

Alex gave a short, dry laugh. “Want? Usually blood. But that one… You’ll have to ask Belle. She seemed to be communicating with it.”

Lilly gave the big dog a stunned look. Belle opened her huge mouth and let her tongue loll out. Excitement over and escape denied, the other dogs padded away from the door and back to their beds by the fire. Whatever had snagged their attention must have moved on. Alex certainly couldn’t see any sign of trouble outside. The baying—which Lilly had
heard—
had come from far off.

It had spooked the animals. It had spooked him, too. He’d fallen into a sense of false security, cocooned in this world of white with Lilly.

“How long has Belle been running off for that trail?”

“Since Amy died. Maybe before. I don’t know.”

Again, he heard the pain in Lilly’s voice. He wanted to ask about her sister. Had they resembled one another? What had she died of?

He wanted to touch, Lilly. To pull her close and chase away the grief that shadowed her eyes. He wanted to find a quiet room and bang his head against the wall until his brain re-engaged. This woman was not his.

“Keep talking,” he said as he made one more round of all the windows. Each one gave him the same view. Storm. Snow. Silence.

“She always ran off in the mornings. About the same time every day. She’d come back before noon and I thought…I thought she was grieving. She’d spend the rest of her day wandering the house and yard. Looking for Amy.”

The sadness in Lilly’s voice tugged at something inside him. He knew there were human customs that went with death, words that should be spoken. Sentiments that should be shared. But he didn’t know how to say what needed to be said, so he didn’t try.

“You never noticed anything strange about her when she came back?” he asked softly.

Lilly shook her head, her eyes a mirror of her hurt, confusion.

And awareness. Even now, it hummed between them, that current that connected them, while somehow keeping them apart.

Alex hung his machete by the door, took Lilly’s rifle from her unresisting fingers and propped it against the wall.