Dare to Love (12 page)

“Yes, sir.” The servant darted from the room.

Dare threw himself down on the bed and tried to determine how to make the best of this. He could claim he had a fever. He could accuse Nivea of having a fever. He could laugh it off as a joke. But he was fairly certain none of those would work. His thoughts grew more and more sluggish as his eyelids grew heavier. Before he could come to a suitable conclusion, he drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The sound of someone repeatedly clearing his throat brought Dare around. The darkness confused him, and he sat up in alarm.

“I am sorry, milord. It is time for dinner. Do you wish to join the Horshams downstairs? Or should I make your excuses?” Jackson stood near the bed, an anxious look on his face.

What time was it? Why was he lying on his bed with his boots on? Dare shook his head to clear away the cobwebs of sleep. Oh yes. He’d confessed his deepest darkest secrets to Nivea, and she had probably spent the better part of the afternoon regaling everyone in earshot with his embarrassing tale.

There was nothing to be done about it now. He would face his doom with all the grace and elegance he could muster. And arrogance. He could hide a world of sins with a mask of arrogance.

Most everyone was already seated when Dare entered the dining room. Pasting on the sardonic sneer that had held him in good standing all these years, he walked to his seat with studied grace. Accepting the large platter of meat handed to him, he placed a small strip of venison on his plate, although the thought of food sickened him. Nervous about what he might find, he glanced to the head of the table. The earl and his wife were chatting with Nicholas’s father. Next to them, William was excitedly discussing horses with Abby. And Nivea, damn her to hell, was talking to Briar.

Well, that was good. No one was remarking on his arrival. There were no scornful glances or goading insults. Apparently, Nivea hadn’t had time to unveil his secrets. Yet.

But she was watching him. Their eyes met, briefly, and she gave him a hesitant smile. There was no look of triumph in her face. Still, a prickle of fear danced down his spine. It was only a matter of time before he became a laughingstock.

Focusing his attention on the plate in from of him, he gulped down some food, eager to escape and strategize his next move.

As soon as the meal was over, he darted for the door. Just steps away from the exit, he flinched when a gentle hand settled on his arm.

“Are you all right?”

It was Nivea, with her sweet, sympathetic eyes, probing, always probing into his life. Dare slid his patented sneer into place. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He hoped his haughty expression would drive her away. It had in the past.

He stifled a groan when, instead, she continued, “I did not mean to upset you. Please accept my apology.”

He stared down at her.
Surely, she must be mocking me.
He’d bared his soul to her and now she was the one to apologize? But, as always, her face was masked with concern.
She’s good. Very good.
Who knew that William’s sister was such an accomplished actress.

Struggling to keep all inflection out of his voice, he replied, “It is of no consequence. I haven’t given it a moment’s thought. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Nivea wasn’t fooled. How horrible that Dare had reverted to his usual harsh facade. He must be truly hurting now that she had opened old wounds. She wanted to help, but one look at his face, tight and forbidding, told her that sympathy would not be appreciated. He hadn’t spoken with anyone at dinner. No witty repartee, no banter with his friends. What had she done?

Sleep did not come easily that night. Thoughts of Dare’s painful childhood haunted her as snatches of memories flickered through her mind. Now, all his odd behavior made sense. His relentless control. His remoteness. And his utter disdain for marriage and family. How could he possibly imagine a contented home life after such a brutal upbringing?

As she tossed and turned in bed, the clock on her mantle chimed two. Then three. Still she could not reconcile he had suffered this pain all these years without anyone suspecting.

As she was finally dozing off, another memory emerged. She recalled Dare’s fierce reaction several years ago when Joseph made the mistake of introducing him once as Lord Landis, Earl of Havenshire.

Dare had exploded. “Never refer to me as earl again! My father extends me no respect, and I refuse to accept so much as a courtesy title from him. Until his death, when I am saddled with the Raynsforth title, I answer to Lord Landis and nothing else.” Then he had stormed away, leaving everyone staring in stunned silence. Joseph had made light of it, of course, but Dare had barely spoken to him for days afterward. Now Nivea was afraid of what his reaction would be to her.

She’d finally drifted off around four o’clock. As a result, instead of rising early as she’d hoped, she woke up well past breakfast. She raced downstairs, desperate to see him, yet having no idea what she would say once he did appear. How did you restart a conversation about such a traumatic event? Were there any words that would help?

In the end it didn’t matter. Only her brother was in the dining room, enjoying a hearty plate of kippers and toast.

“Good morning, Nivvy, you’re up later than normal,” he greeted her, waving a fork in her direction.

She couldn’t very well tell him why she’d had such a restless night, so she made up an excuse. “I think all the excitement over the last few days has caught up to me. I decided to take advantage of the quiet morning and stay in bed.” Putting a few slices of toast on her plate, she joined him at the table. “Did I miss anything? Has anyone left this morning?” she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“No, the Abbingtons may head home later today, but you can still catch them before they go.”

She tried to look interested, but feared she failed miserably. Fortunately, William did not notice anything amiss. It was blatantly obvious to her now how unobservant her brother really was. She could not imagine being friends with someone for over a decade and not having an inkling about his past.

After spending the morning contemplating his options, Dare decided it was in his best interest to leave. He could not risk having all and sundry learn about his past.

He’d return to London where he would taunt some poor unfortunate sot into a fight. This would solve several problems. First, by exerting himself, he could work off some of his anger. And second, he could laugh off any rumors that arose, inferring that he was a pathetic weakling. Lord Whomever-Irritates-Me-First with the blackened eye and bruised ribs would no doubt attest that Dare wasn’t buried in the country, confessing any embarrassing secrets.

Not to mention, if he was no longer around to remind Nivea of their discussion, perhaps some other event would catch her interest and she would put it out of her mind. Yes, that would work. He’d announce his departure at the lunch, charge back to town, beat the living daylights out of someone, and return to his normal routine.

It seemed like the perfect plan, only to be foiled by Nivea’s stepmother a few minutes into the meal. “Lord Landis, I fear today will be a trial for you. The children have decided to host a sporting challenge this afternoon. We are all to pick sides and compete. I seriously doubt that sort of thing would interest you.”

He graced her with a tip of the head, waiting to see where she was going with this.

“Perhaps you would like to spend the day on the lake. It is quite a bit cooler there and the solitude can be soothing.”

While he agreed it would have been a more attractive alternative, he preferred to escape entirely. “My apologies, madam, I am planning to depart today.”

“Oh! I thought you were to stay through the weekend.”

“Yes, we were counting on you for another hunt this week,” William exclaimed.

“Surely, you can tolerate us for a few more days.”

He cringed at Amelia’s cajoling tone. Wonderful. If he made an issue of it, he was certain to attract unwanted attention. Forcing a tight smile, Dare bowed his head in her direction. “I supposed I can rearrange my schedule.”

“Splendid!” Then after a slight pause, she added, “Nivea does not take pleasure in sporting events either. Perhaps she can accompany you. She has always enjoyed the lake.”

The look of surprise on Nivea’s face no doubt mirrored his own, and convinced him that she did not have a hand in this arrangement.

Now he was exceedingly torn. Spend the day with rambunctious children or be trapped on a small craft with Nivea. Hell would be a more comfortable location. She would no doubt wish to continue yesterday’s conversation. Could this day get any worse?

Trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, he responded. “That would be delightful. Nivea, are you interested in joining me?” He did not think she would refuse, but he’d at least give her the opportunity.

He discerned a blush as she lowered her eyes. “Yes, I will join you.”

As the conversation turned to other matters, Dare considered how to best address the situation. If he dazzled her with his charm, perhaps she would forget yesterday’s conversation. Or maybe he could pass it off as some twisted, ill-conceived joke. It was often noted that he had a warped and unpleasant sense of humor. Fitting, considering he found the world to be warped and unpleasant most of the time.

Attempting to put off the inevitable for as long as possible, Dare polished off not just one plate of food, but two. Once every speck was devoured, he wiped his mouth and stood. Holding out his arm to Nivea, he flashed his most irresistible smile. “When would you suggest we make our escape?” A small herd of children were, at that moment, racing across the front hall and out the door.

“I would imagine right now would be best. Otherwise, the little ones will try and wheedle us into joining them.”

Shuddering at the thought, he quickly steered her to the right and they headed out the side door unnoticed.

As they reached the dock, one little girl came streaking down the hill screaming, “Don’t you want to play cricket with us, Aunt Nivvy? It will be so much fun!”

Nivea smiled, “Sorry, Lizzie, but I promised Lord Landis a boat ride.”

“I could come,” she piped up.

Good God, no
. He handed Nivea into the rowboat before casting off the rope and climbing in. Putting his back to her, he grabbed the oars and nudged them against the dock.

“Maybe next time, darling.” Nivea waved goodbye as the boat glided away.

Little Lizzie stood there a moment, the picture of disappointment, before running back up the hill.

“Thank you,” Nivea murmured behind him. “I love my family, but never really understood their love of sports.”

Dare remained silent. Sports, he could understand; it was children that he abhorred.

It would be much more tolerable here. He took pleasure in the pull of the oars, the sun on his face, and the quiet of his companion. He just hoped she would remain so and allow him to enjoy the day.

That hope was quickly dashed.

“I do love being out on this lake.” Nivea announced. “I remember when my mother died, I would drag William out here with me. Somehow, floating on the water under the giant open sky, she seemed closer, like she could look down and see me.” Her voice trailed off.

Surprised, he glanced backward at her. This was not the direction he had expected the conversation to go.

She was leaning back, hands resting on the sides of the boat, staring up into the clouds. Her lips, red and plump, were curled in a sad smile. Her bonnet was pushed back, creating a halo of sunlight shimmering around her hair. And her gown, made of peach muslin, gave her cheeks an innocent flush of color.

That quick glimpse sent an unwanted jolt to his nether region. It was not unusual that gazing upon a woman would cause such a reaction, but he had not been able to figure out why Nivea was now causing it. He turned back, determined to keep his focus on the shoreline as it drifted from view.

They had traveled to the deepest part of the lake and were now gliding toward the wooded side when Dare decided to resolve the odious issue at hand.

Charm and surprise had always been helpful in gaining the upper hand. With that in mind, he drew the oars into the boat and removed his jacket, folding it meticulously onto the seat in front of him. Stretched his muscles. Pulled at the tips of each finger to remove first his left glove, then his right. And ran his fingers through his hair to re-secure his queue.

Certain he had her attention, he spun around. Noting Nivea’s wide-eyed expression, lips shaped into an admiring O, he knew he’d succeeded. He chuckled inwardly. “It was warm. I hope you don’t mind,” he crooned.

Caught staring, she quickly shifted her gaze.

Now that he had her off guard, he would press the issue. Clearing his throat, he began, “Yesterday…I…”

She cut him off before he could finish his thought. “Do not worry, Lord Landis. Your story is safe. I shan’t say a word. Unless you wish to talk more about it…”

“No,” he barked. Embarrassed by his vehement tone, he repeated “no” more quietly. “I prefer never to speak of it again.”

The matter settled to her satisfaction, Nivea closed her eyes, a serene smile on her face. Her thick lashes rested on cheeks warm and rosy from the sun. When she leaned back, the fabric of her dress pulled snugly over her bosom. A row of silver buttons ran between her breasts, creating delectable twin globes.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her. His gaze ran from her neck, across to her short, capped sleeves, and over the creamy expanse of skin jutting from over the lace trimming of her bodice. His blood began to pound.

Dammit to hell, what was wrong with him? Here he was trying to ensure she did not destroy his reputation, and he couldn’t think of anything but the blasted woman’s breasts.

Unaware of the effect she was having, Nivea abruptly spoke up. “I was sitting here wondering how you and William become friends. I don’t think he’s ever mentioned it.”

Dare sucked in a deep breath, hoping to clear his head. Unsure if she was mining for more information to help ruin him, or just being pleasant, he took his time responding. He studied her intently, but could sense no malice, no sly edge to her voice, no focused stare weighing every nuance of his response. Nothing. She was simply leaning back, idly watching the clouds overhead.