Dare to Dream: The Maxwell Series (22 page)

I
chomped
my nails down to their nubs as I paced a packed waiting area of the hospital. A baby cried. A man kept coughing. A small child scampered around a line of chairs as his mother chased him. My gut twisted as my head shot up every time the double doors to the secure patient area opened.

I’d been waiting all fucking day to see Lacey. The doctor didn’t want a ton of people in her room, and Mr. Robinson thought it would be best to wait until she woke up. Since we weren’t together anymore, he didn’t know if she would want to see me. I’d almost punched him, but he was doing the right thing. I couldn’t bulldoze my way into Lacey’s life, and I didn’t trust myself. I knew if I were in the room with her I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. And if she rejected me, I’d definitely lose my shit.

I found an empty seat, sat down, and bounced my knees, watching the same little boy run around the chairs. I chuckled as his mom continued to chase him. He reminded me of when my mom had chased the triplets if we were out somewhere. She’d catch Kelton first and threaten to take away his pet lizard if he didn’t behave. By the time she was finished scolding Kelton, Kross and Kody were in their seats acting like perfect little boys.

I was trying to be perfect. I was trying to keep my emotions in check. Every long, tortuous minute that passed found me thinking that if only I had guarded Lacey myself like I’d wanted to, none of this would have happened. Or wondering whether she would have been kidnapped if Steve, Lacey’s daytime bodyguard, had been on her detail this morning. Wes had told me he would find out exactly what had happened with the steroid twins. I also strained my mind to think how Lorenzino had known Mr. Robinson had the ledger when Mr. Robinson didn’t even know if there was a ledger in the safe deposit box. Not to mention that if Weeks had been watching the Robinsons, then why hadn’t any of Lacey’s bodyguards noticed?

In between my heart stopping and starting when I pictured Lacey hurt, I continually replayed the scene after Mr. Robinson had gotten the call from Lorenzino. I’d torn out of Pitt’s office like a madman on a mission, only to be stopped by Kross and Mr. Robinson. I’d fought my way through them and gotten on the elevator. Nothing in the world was going to prevent me from saving Lacey, until, just before the doors shut, Mr. Robinson called, “You’ll only get her killed.” At that moment, I’d dug my palms into my head and sworn several times. I couldn’t wake up to a world without Lacey in it. I also couldn’t give up control to someone else or to fate. That wasn’t in my playbook, particularly when it came to someone I loved.

The little boy let out a high-pitched giggle, bringing me back to the present.

I checked the time. I was giving Mr. Robinson five more minutes. If he didn’t give me the green light, I was storming into Lacey’s room. All day my emotions had vacillated like an out-of-control sine wave—fear, rage, desperation, relief, worry. When I had heard her scream, nothing could have stopped me from barging into the club to save my girl. Then when I saw the point of the knife heading for Lacey, my heart had stopped cold. I’d almost ripped the gun from one of the SWAT guys and shot Weeks myself. Thankfully, they’d reacted just in time.

The swooshing sound of the doors drew my attention away from the little boy. Mr. Robinson emerged. His face looked like Kelton’s had after he and Seever went several rounds.

In five strides I met him at the information desk. “Well?”

“You can go in,” he said. “I have to take care of some things at the club. I cleared it with the nurse for you to stay past visiting hours. The doctor wants to keep Lacey overnight for observation. She’s in room two.”

Mr. Robinson was still talking, but I was already striding through the doors into the long cold corridor that seemed like ten miles of nothing but gray walls. My heart thrummed as I thought about what I was going to say to Lacey. I knocked then entered, and I was met with a dazzling smile that overshadowed her swollen cheek, her bloodshot eyes, and her matted hair. Even still, my breath caught in my throat as goosebumps jumped to attention on my arms. I didn’t move. I probably looked like a large buck frozen in the headlights of an eighteen-wheeler.

“Kade?” Her soft voice glided over me like baby oil. “Are you okay?”

“I am now.” I was surprised my voice was even. Hell, I was surprised I could talk. I was even more surprised my legs worked as I crossed the short distance to settle in the chair next to her bed.

She swept her gaze over me. Long thick lashes framed her tired green eyes. Yet a ray of happiness shone through like a beacon on a foggy night. “I’m okay.”

I let out a nervous laugh. “I was so worried.”
Man, is that all you’ve got to say to the girl you love?

“I don’t bite.” Her voice was breathy. Her long wavy hair framed her soft features.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “I know.” I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans. “I don’t know what to do. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to hug you. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid you’ll reject me. I’m afraid I won’t let go.”

“Please sit with me.” She moved, creating a larger spot next to her as she patted the bed.

I traded the hard chair for the softness of the mattress, and hopefully for her touch. She snaked out her hand and placed it on my leg.

I covered her hand with mine, cold and soft to hot and rough. I licked my dry lips. My pulse slowed then sped up. “I was so fucking scared I’d lost you. I haven’t been the best—”

“Please. Let me talk.” Her eyes were downcast, her smile gone.

My pulse sped up.

“Since Julie and my mom died, I’ve struggled through nightmares, anxiety attacks, blackouts—the list goes on.” Grief marked her tone. “The one constant since I’ve moved here has been you.” She lifted her gaze, her hand trembling underneath mine. “You understand death. You get my illness. I never told you why I got my tattoo or why I got your initials inscribed on the paws. I’m in love with you, Kade. But the tattoo is a symbol of how you’ve helped me through my darkness. I know you try to protect my emotions because of my PTSD. Please don’t.”

Warmth spread through my chest. “Even after I’ve been a complete ass, you’re still in love with me?”

“I’ve never stopped. But I need you to promise me you’ll be honest and open and treat me as an equal, not a person who you think will crumble over bad news.” Her tone was velvety, yet a hint of hardness edged each word.

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise I won’t fuck up. And I need you to promise that you won’t walk out or break up with me every time we have an argument. Because we’re going to argue and disagree on things. Sometimes, Lace, you don’t see past your anger.”

Tension sucked the air out of the room as we locked eyes.

“Um… Do we shake on it?” Her sensuous mouth curved.

I kissed her hand.

“I’d rather you kiss me here.” She placed a finger on her lips.

“If do, I might not stop.”

“That’s okay. As long as you don’t squeeze me or touch the back of my head.”

“How about I just hold you?” I adjusted my position so she was able to lay her head on my chest. I seriously wouldn’t stop kissing her if I started, and right now, feeling her against me was all I needed.

“Your heart is racing,” she said.

I buried my nose in her hair, inhaling her orange fragrance. “I wish I could’ve barged into the club sooner.”

“It’s over with. I don’t have to worry or wonder who killed Julie and my mom. Weeks admitted he did it. But I keep wondering about how Lorenzino found out my dad had the ledger. He’s said his sources wouldn’t lie.” She pressed a cold hand underneath my shirt.

“I’ve been thinking about how he knew, too. You were taken about the time your dad was scheduled to meet Erica. That wasn’t a coincidence. Wes had changed your bodyguards. My gut tells me they might be involved. Maybe one or both of them was secretly working for Lorenzino. Or maybe Erica had a tie to Lorenzino.”

“Wes checked her out. And if it was Erica, then why didn’t she say something to Lorenzino when my dad’s mother died? Also, the way she was grilling my dad over the phone leads me to believe she wasn’t his source.” Her fingers danced their way up to my chest then back down. “Not to change the subject, but UMass and Colby College are interested in me. Coach also said I could take a chance as a walk-on at ASU.”

“Is that good?” Both subjects were sensitive.

“Ask me later. I might need months for my mind to clear.”

“How about we just lie here and sleep?” I could use some sleep, particularly now that Lacey was safe and back in my arms. As my eyes grew heavy, I made a mental note to follow up with Wes on the steroid twins.

A
warm May breeze
blew in through the cracked open window in my bedroom. I kicked off the blankets and down comforter. I’d been lying awake for hours, listening to the crickets outside sing their nightly tune while Kade slept soundly next to me.

I sat up and plucked ASU’s letter from my nightstand. I switched on the bedside lamp and read through it again.

Dear Ms. Robinson,

Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you of your admission to Arizona State University. Your admission to ASU is evidence of the Admissions Committee’s confidence in your potential.

I continued to read through it, willing the words to say I’d been selected by the Sports Committee to play baseball for ASU. No such luck. I’d cried the day I’d missed the scout. I’d bawled again like a baby when I’d opened the letter two days ago. The finality of it cut deep. The good news was that I had choices. I’d pitched my best for the UMass scout last week, striking out eight batters. I couldn’t say I pitched a great game for the scout from Colby College yesterday. I struck out three batters and walked four. Physically, I was back to normal. My head and leg had healed, and the stitches were out. I did miss four games in April. I’d been practicing almost every day since the doctor had given me the all clear. We were winning games. We’d only lost three this season, and as a pitcher I was only responsible for one, yesterday’s. Maybe my attitude hadn’t been right or maybe my heart hadn’t been in it. I was, however, into the guy next to me.

I rolled over and stared at Kade. He looked so peaceful, sleeping with one arm above his head and the other on his bare stomach.

My fingers itched to trace the deep ridges of his toned abs. I didn’t want to disturb him. Dad had asked Kade to help out at his club, and he’d been working late most nights. I didn’t mind. When I wasn’t practicing or there wasn’t a game, I’d been going into the city with him and spending time with Chloe and the Pitts. I enjoyed getting to know Gloria. She was slowly becoming more of a mom figure for me, giving me advice on love and college, something Mary had done when she was living with us. I missed her and owed her a phone call to see how she was doing.

Kade moved. I couldn’t take it anymore. I trailed my fingers over his scruffy jaw then over his lips. Before I could blink, he was sucking my fingers into his mouth.

He groaned. “Tastes good.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Maybe I did a wee bit.

He shifted onto his side, facing me. “Hi, stranger. It feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Is sucking on my fingers your new thing? I thought you liked my ears and abs?”

“Baby, I crave every part of your body. If I’ve been negligent, I’ll just have to fix that.”

I closed my eyes, relishing the erotic sensation. I didn’t get many chances to sleep with Kade. And since Dad was back in California working with his lawyer on the sale of Zepplins, I didn’t want to be alone. I’d gotten used to Hunt or someone being in the house.

“I’m not complaining.” I slipped a leg in between his.

He snaked his hand over my hip to rest on my butt. I went in search of Mr. Steel, who was fully awake.

Lust burned in his eyes. Then he was on top of me, crushing his lips to mine. His tongue pushed through. I moaned as our tongues fought each other in a heated tango. Desire coated my body, raising goosebumps on my skin.

He broke the kiss, sucked my lip, then made his descent down my neck, chest, and stomach. When he reached my sleep shorts, his fingers dipped inside the band. With hooded eyelids, he slowly removed my shorts, his chest rising and falling. He flung the shorts somewhere behind him. He grabbed my hands and pulled me to a sitting position then knelt between my legs, reached out, and tugged on the hem of my tank top.

I raised my arms as though I was programmed to do so. Like with the shorts, he took his time removing the garment, treating the act like he was unwrapping a Christmas present, careful not to mess up the bow.

I almost whined then thought better of it. While I usually wasn’t patient when I wanted something badly, I knew complaining would only make him go slower, infinitesimally slower since he had the patience of a saint and liked to tease me. The air of the room breezed over me as he exposed my breasts, and my nipples hardened. I lowered my arms as he tossed my tank over his shoulder.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” His voice was sexy and needy.

I raked my gaze over him. His stomach muscles tightened as though he was holding back a sea of desire. The four hearts tattooed over his chest rose with every intake of breath. He softly caressed one of my breasts before moving to the other.

Electricity jumped between us, the intimacy growing thick, driving us both to explore each other as though it were our first time together. His hands moved effortlessly over my entire body, stopping to spend precious time exploring my abs. I traced the thin line of hair that snaked down below his belly button until I was inches from Mr. Steel, and oh, boy. Mr. Steel was more than ready to play. Kade’s eyes fluttered closed as he groaned.

I shivered with the need for him to consume me. I wanted his arms around me, his lips everywhere and anywhere on my body, and Mr. Steel inside me. But I’d learned with Kade that touching was more sensual, more intimate than a kiss. Touching evoked tingles, shivers, butterflies, and a sensual feeling that traveled from head to toe, front to back, and side to side. His fingers dipped lower, brushing up one leg then the other, yet never touching the one spot I craved him to. I knew he wanted to savor the moment to heighten his arousal and mine.

“Anticipation heightens the senses,” he’d once told me.

My anticipation was at its peak. I knew one way to break his resolve. I scraped my nails along his scalp then tugged hard on his hair.

In an instant, I was on my back and he was hovering over me. With his eyelids at half-mast, he stared down at me with love blazing in his eyes. “I need you, baby.” His tone emerged vulnerable, desperate, and with a sprinkle of sadness.

A pang of hurt gripped my heart. Since we’d started dating again, we’d gotten along great. He’d asked my opinion before he gave my dad his answer about working for him. He’d apologized to Tyler. He was cordial to Aaron. I wasn’t in danger. So why was he sad? “I’m yours, Kade Maxwell,” I said, hoping to assure him of my commitment to him, to us.

I sucked in a quiet breath. My declaration had unlocked something in him. My hard-core, protective, badass alpha boyfriend had water in his eyes. I couldn’t recall ever seeing Kade with tears in his eyes before, at least not while we were lying naked, making love, and for some reason, it was powerful to see his emotions so exposed in such an intimate setting.

Lightly, I dragged my fingertips along his jaw. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head.” I brushed my lips over his, warm and soft. “But I love you.” My heart beat like a rock-and-roll drummer.

He plunged his tongue into my mouth as he rolled us over so that I was on top. His hands were everywhere as our tongues fought for control. When I moved against him, he growled, grasped my hips, and gently guided me down onto Mr. Steel. I broke the kiss with a moan. The pleasure of him inside me was pure and explosive, shooting a bolt of lightning up to my core. Flattening my hands on his chest, I pushed up to a sitting position. We began a rhythm. Up then down, slow and steady.

“Polar bear,” he said as he traced the tattoo on my lower left hip.

He flipped me onto my back again.

He pinned my hands over my head. “Seeing my initials on that bear drives me crazy.” His ab muscles bunched as he snuck his hand between us, feeling for my clit.

My breathing ramped up, and I squirmed beneath him. When his magical fingers touched the sensitive spot, I cried out. His mouth slammed against mine, hungry and greedy, masking the groans coming from me. He released my hands, planted his on either side of my head, then began rolling his hips. Sweat coated our bodies, making the glide against each other slick and smooth. I dug my nails into his butt then his back. He growled, plunging in and out harder and faster. Then he slowed. His gaze was intense, as though he was trying to hold back, trying not to let go.

“Don’t hold back.”

“I want this to last.” He lowered his head and sucked on one breast then the other, his hips rolling forward then back.

I wanted it to last too, but I wanted that exhilarating high that came with the feeling of falling off a cliff even more. So I tapped on his sculpted butt, harder than I’d intended.

His head came up. His eyes flared in shock before one side of his mouth turned upward, and he drove into me, in and out. A fire started to build inside me, spreading wild flames down my stomach to settle between my legs. My mind became foggy as his heady scent covered me. With each thrust, he took me closer and closer to the edge.

“Put your legs around me,” he said.

As I did, he grabbed my butt, pushing in deeper, harder, and faster, ratcheting up my arousal. The world around me disappeared, then suddenly I was falling into pure white-hot bliss. My body quaked as I rode the wave.

“That’s it, baby.” Thrusting one last time, he growled before his body tensed then stilled. A bead of sweat dripped from his forehead onto me.

“I’m not sure I can move.” I didn’t want to.

Untangling our bodies, he moved to lie on his back with me on top of him. I rested my head on his chest, placing my hand over his racing heart. My head bobbed up and down as he tried to regulate his breathing.

“Did you just slap my ass earlier?” he asked with amusement in between breaths.

The fire transferred from my legs to my face. I was glad I wasn’t looking at him. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It was kind of hot.” He traced circles on my back.

My mouth fell open. Okay, that was a first. I’d known he liked it when I pulled his hair. “You’re into pain, aren’t you? Wait, don’t answer that.” My face felt like an inferno.

“You’re more beautiful when you’re embarrassed.” He massaged my butt.

I snuggled into his chest. “Have you thought about what you want to do after graduation?”

He let out a huge breath. “College isn’t for me right now. My dad suggested I take a year and travel around the country. I don’t know though. My mom has been doing better with her new medication. It might be nice to be around.”

Sadness washed over me. If I went to ASU, I’d be leaving Kade and Dad. I didn’t know if I was ready to be out in the world on my own with all my fears and PTSD triggers. I could ask Kade if he wanted to come with me. But I wouldn’t. His family was in Ashford. His brothers were staying in the area after graduation. There was a possibility his mom could come home to live with them, and that was Kade’s dream. I thought of my own mom and our mother-and- daughter moments where we’d talked about boys and life. I would never have that again, which was why I’d never take the chance to spend precious time with his mom away from Kade.

Besides, I was a strong girl. I fought a killer and won. I fought my demons and rose out of a deep depression to play ball again. I couldn’t let my illness drive my decisions. I had to do what was in my heart. Gloria had counseled me on that.

“What time is it?” I asked.

He reached over and snagged my phone from the nightstand. The light on the phone lit up his relaxed features. “Five a.m. Plenty of time for round two before school.”

I dug my chin into his chest. “Or sleep.” I was sleepy all of a sudden.

“Are you having nightmares?” he asked.

“A couple. Nothing to worry about.” I’d always had nightmares. I didn’t think they would just vanish, and even with Weeks dead and Lorenzino in jail, I was still a little paranoid. I had the sense someone was following me. It was probably my own paranoia. Even so, I’d asked Dad how Lorenzino had known he had the ledger, and he’d said Lorenzino had probably had men watching us.

“Baby, your nails are like claws.”

“Sorry.” I removed my hand from his shoulder. I hadn’t realized I’d been gripping him so hard. “Pitt’s bodyguards aren’t following me anymore?” I knew Hunt wasn’t. He’d taken a job at one of Pitt’s clubs in Boston.

“No. Why?”

“I thought I saw an SUV following me home from practice last week. But it’s probably nothing.”