Dare to Dance: The Maxwell Series (10 page)

Roy nodded. “Make it fast.”

I snagged a used napkin from Norma’s tray and wrote down my cell number. “Have Ruby call me when she’s ready to talk.” I had to take a step back and clear my head. I couldn’t keep stalking her or fighting for no reason. I had my boxing career to think about. Plus, Norma’s little speech had some truth to it. The more I forced Ruby to talk, the more I pushed her away.

She smiled sadly as she pocketed the napkin.

Roy escorted Kody and me out of the building. “The owner doesn’t want you in his club anymore. If you do show yourself, he’ll press charges.”

I wasn’t about to argue. I would deal with Tommy and Pete another day. For the moment, I had to work out another angle to break the ice with Ruby.

A
loud shriek
penetrated through my subconscious. Then claws were digging into my hand. I sat up to find a black-and-white cat on me. The beginning of daylight spilled in through the shattered windows of the abandoned warehouse. Then as the world around me crystallized, I shot to my feet. The cat screeched as it jumped off. I checked my trusty Timex. Norma! I’d told her I was going to get a coffee at the diner, but that was at one a.m. It was now five thirty in the morning. She was probably worried out of her mind. Not to mention, I had promised Kross that we would talk.

I ran out of the warehouse, hopped four steps, then took off down the alley. I’d had every intention of sitting in a booth at the diner until Norma got off work. But when I had seen Kody in there with Kross’s girlfriend, I kept walking, enjoying the night, the light rain, and the feeling of space. However, when the rain had gotten heavier, I’d turned into an alley to seek shelter for a brief moment. But the rain had kept pouring down. I could’ve sucked it up and faced the rain. I had many times before when sleeping on the streets. But I’d wanted a quiet moment away from the loud music and the pressure of Kross’s stare. I was also tired from being on my feet all night. Still, I envisioned Norma calling the cops.

The cat was perched on top of a burnt car that sat up on blocks on the main street. The wind picked up, and with it, a scent of fish, no doubt from the Boston Harbor in the distance. I bundled my wool coat, secured the yellow scarf the ten-year-old girl had given me, and started for Alex’s place. I doubted Kross was waiting around Firefly since it was closed. I owed him a visit. Maybe he would be at his gym later that morning. The cat snuck up on me, meowing. Poor thing was probably hungry.

“I am too, buddy. If you follow me, I’ll buy you a bowl of milk.”

My mouth watered just thinking about the bakery below Alex’s apartment. They had the most amazing glazed donuts. I rummaged around in my pockets and pulled out a wad of dollar bills. I sniffed the money as though it was a delicacy. At least I could buy myself breakfast this morning, thanks to the club customers who had tipped me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had this much money on me. I could, however, recall all the money my mom had had. Other than selling drugs, she’d also been responsible for collecting the drug money and flubbing the books for the head boss of the drug ring. The man who was my dad’s best friend. The man who was responsible for sucking my mother into the underworld of drugs. The same man who was in jail with my parents.

The cat snuck down another alley. He probably detected a rat or a mouse. Better for me since I was mildly allergic to cats.

I began to jog. As my feet pounded the pavement, the events of the previous night ran with me. Customers had screamed for their drinks. The loud music blared in my ears, causing my head to hurt. Tommy kept checking on me, although I suspect he was making sure Kross wasn’t drumming up trouble. Most of all, I swore I could feel Kross’s piercing gaze burning through my back. All of that contributed to me spilling drinks on customers, not to mention, the pile of drinks I’d dropped when I crashed into Kross. He was everywhere. Even when he stepped outside, he was still with me, maybe because Kody stood watch for him. I tried to avoid Kody, but I had to serve a table close to him. He was insistent on talking. He kept asking if I would talk to Kross. Finally, after his last plea, I said I would. At least that had been my goal until I remembered how angry I was at Kross for the past and for threatening me with the cops and the APB.

When I reached the bakery, I debated whether to get breakfast or wake up Norma and Alex, although I doubted Norma would be sleeping. She never slept through the night when we were on the streets. She’d always been afraid of someone attacking us or stealing from us.

My decision was made for me when I saw the sign that read “open at six a.m.” I had five minutes, which was plenty of time to grovel to Norma then get a box of donuts. I climbed the stairs two at a time until I reached apartment three. I didn’t have a key. Usually, we accompanied Alex back after our shifts. I turned the knob, but the door was locked. I knocked softly. I didn’t want to wake up the neighbors.

After a minute, I pounded harder. “Norma,” I said loudly. “It’s me.”

Footsteps clobbered up the stairs behind me, followed by voices. Familiar voices. Kross’s voice. Norma’s voice.
What the hell?

“You know, Tommy’s friend Trent gives me the creeps,” Norma said. “What if he got a hold of Ruby?”

“That dude gives me the same vibe,” Kross added. “Let’s check the apartment. If she’s not there, then we’ll call the cops.”

They sounded chummy as though they had bonded over coffee. I would strangle Norma if she said anything about Raven to Kross.

When they rounded the banister, Kross’s eyes went wide while Norma jumped at me, throwing her arms around my neck. “Where have you been? I was worried sick, searching everywhere for you.”

“What’s he doing here?” I asked as calmly as I could. “What have you told him?” I didn’t want to bring out my claws, but I had to know what I was walking into.

She let go of me, her pretty face twisted. Yeah, she was ready to chop off my head. On the other hand, Kross’s soft gaze was anything but angry. His mouth twitched with a quick smile, and my belly fluttered.

“I got him out of bed and asked him for help in finding you.” Her tone was motherly. “You didn’t answer me. Where have you been?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later. Right now, I’d like to take a shower,” I said in a snippy tone. Again, I didn’t mean to be all bitchy. I was beginning to worry that if she went to Kross for help in finding me, she might have broken down and told him about Raven. If she hadn’t, then she might if I continued to push Kross away.

“Don’t get any ideas about disappearing again. You two need to talk,” she said firmly as she unlocked the apartment door.

The need to stomp my foot was strong, a habit I’d always had when I didn’t get my way or didn’t want to do something.

Norma crossed the tiny living room to the bedroom. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”

I trudged into the apartment with Kross on my heels. “Don’t wake up Alex.”

“Alex left with some dude last night. She said she would see us at work later,” Norma said loudly from the bathroom.

I was afraid to turn around and look into Kross’s eyes. No doubt I would cave and kiss him or something. Not that there was anything wrong with kissing him. But would he want to kiss me back? His cologne lingered around me, making my cheeks heat up. So I made a beeline into the bathroom. “I can’t be alone with him,” I whispered.

Norma splashed water on her face. “You’ve got to talk to the man.”

“I don’t know where to begin. I’m afraid of what could happen. This isn’t the time, either. I have a job. I’m making money. I need to get Raven back first.”

She snagged a towel off the sink and patted her face. “Life doesn’t work that way. He’s in your life for a reason. That reason is to help you.”

I chewed a nail. “What if he judges me? What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Start at the beginning. Tell him the story. Tell him how mad you still are. Tell him all those things you told me. You did nothing wrong. Life always gets complicated, and Ruby, you’ve had one fucked-up life. Make things right now. He could be your savior.” Sorrow flooded her brown eyes.

I couldn’t argue. I had many things to atone for. More than anything, Raven came first. “I want to be my own savior. I want to prove to myself that I can make it on my own. I’m tired of relying on people to take care of me. My mother did a good job of that, but look where it got her and me.” As much as a knight in shining armor sounded like my ticket to a better future, I had to fix my own depressing plight. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be my own person. I wanted that feeling of confidence back.

“I know, sweetie. But Kross is the father, right? He deserves the truth. At the very least, start a dialogue. Reconnect. Then take it one step at a time. Okay?”

I nodded. One step did sound like something I could do rather than detailing the last four years in one sitting. The nausea building inside me didn’t agree. Or maybe I was just hungry. “If he threatens me again, I’m done.”

“Fair enough. Now, come on. I’ll be in the bakery while you two talk.” She grabbed my hand. “You’ll do fine.”

I wasn’t so sure of that.

Before I could calm my trembling hands, she pulled me into the living room. Kross was leaning against the window that overlooked the street below.

Norma released my hand. “Come get me when you two are done.”

“You can stay,” I blurted out as my pulse quickened. I felt the need to go back an hour to the empty silence of the warehouse, listening to the cat complain. Even turning back time three weeks when Norma and I had been living on the streets seemed like a better option. Sure, being homeless wasn’t easy, but at the moment, it sure seemed easier than what I was facing now.

When the door clicked shut, I flinched. A heavy silence stretched between Kross and me as I held onto the arm of the couch. We were two people who had known each other well, who had explored each other’s bodies, learning how sex should go, telling each other things about likes, dislikes, and what we dreamed about, and we couldn’t even speak. He was probably waiting for me to say something. After all, he’d asked me about a baby, and while I knew deep, deep down that he deserved to know about Raven, I was at a loss for words. I was also frightened out of my freaking mind with what-ifs. What if he fought for custody of Raven? He could take her away from me completely, especially when he learned that I’d been homeless and could very well be again if Alex kicked me out. Not only that, but my brain couldn’t function with his intimidating stature in the tiny apartment. All six feet of him exuded sexiness—his unshaven jaw, messy hair, ripped jeans, and muscles I knew rippled underneath his clothes.

I needed space and air.

“I’m here to listen,” he said. “I’m not going to force you to give me answers. If you’re not ready to talk, then I’m okay with that.”

My fingers dug into the plaid fabric of the couch as I lowered my gaze. “So you’re not going to put out an APB on me?”

“I deserved that. I’m sorry.” His attitude had certainly changed overnight. “Do you hate me that much?”

I jerked my head up then scrunched my nose. As much as I didn’t want to be in this apartment with him, I could never hate him. In my mind, that would mean I would hate my daughter, who was a mini Kross. The only feature Raven had of mine was her small nose. She even had one lone dimple in her right cheek like her daddy. A tear snuck out suddenly. I quickly dashed it away.

“Kross, can we go for a walk? I promise I won’t do a disappearing act. You can even hold my hand.” I smiled. The feel of his skin on mine would be nice. On second thought, it wouldn’t. I would want more, and I couldn’t have more. I wasn’t as beautiful as his girlfriend, and I certainly didn’t have the emotional backbone to deal with my feelings.

I diverted my gaze to the shag carpet.

In three strides, he was standing in front of me. He touched my chin then gently guided it up. “You’re still shy. I’ve always loved that about you.”

I wanted to say, “Careful, you might not love everything I have to say.”

“I’d rather be in a quiet place,” he said. “The streets are too loud. Why don’t we go to my apartment?”

I inched back, shaking my head like a wet dog. “No. I’d feel more comfortable outside.” I wanted to go back to the abandoned warehouse where I’d slept earlier. No one would be there. But if I took him there, he would judge me.
Make him feel what you feel. Show him your life. If he judges, then you’ll know where you stand.
“Actually, I know a quiet place.” If we were about to talk, I had to be on my turf.

T
he same burnt
car I’d seen the other night appeared stark against the graffiti-strewn walls of the desolate buildings lining both sides of the street. In the distance, the Boston Harbor loomed with its dark water, rippling with the light wind.

After we’d informed Norma of what we were doing, we walked in silence. Many times during our trek, I’d wanted to take Ruby up on her offer to hold her hand. Not that I was afraid she would run from me, but I wanted to squeeze her hand, let her know I was there for her and that I wasn’t the scared sixteen-year-old boy who had run with his tail between his legs. But I chickened out, afraid of the contact of her skin on mine and what it would do to me.

“Why here?” I asked when we arrived at an abandoned warehouse.

“My turf.”

A black-and-white cat darted across the road and into the building closest to the harbor.

“Are we at war?” I kept my tone playful, but in reality, I wasn’t kidding. From my standpoint, she didn’t want anything to do with me, and I wanted answers that she wasn’t giving up.
If you hadn’t been a dick, threatening her with the cops and stalking her like a freak, she might’ve talked to you last night.

Lifting her delicate shoulders, she gave me a half smile. “Maybe. Look, you want to talk, and I feel comfortable in places like this.” She followed the path of the cat.

I silently cursed for many reasons. The idea that she was comfortable in neighborhoods like the one we were in sent a dagger straight through my chest. But what kept driving that sharp blade clear through to my back was the fact that her life had not turned out as she’d dreamed. She’d been a skilled and beautiful ballerina. She’d lit up every time she talked about her dream of performing for the New York City Ballet one day.

A blast of fish odor, motor oil, and a strong scent of urine burned the hair in my nostrils as I walked into the warehouse.
Good God.
I choked.

My phone buzzed as Ruby headed toward a room that was carved into the far corner.

“What?” I said sharply into the phone as my voice bounced off the cement walls, echoing several times.

“Bro, calm down. I just wanted to make sure you were all right,” Kelton said. “Lizzie got worried when you bolted out the door. It’s way too early in the morning for you to be up. What’s going on? Is it Ruby?”

I hung my head. “Sorry I bit your head off. I’m with Ruby, but she won’t talk to me.” I tried to lower my voice, but the emptiness of the building wasn’t my friend. I shrugged. If Ruby was listening, I couldn’t do anything about it unless I left the building. But I didn’t want to. I wasn’t hiding anything from her. If she was going to trust me or even open up to me, then she should know how I feel. Sure, I should be telling her instead of Kelton, but at the moment, I needed my brother’s advice. “I’m not sure how much more I can take.”

“You should talk to Dad,” he said. “Or Kade.”

I barked out a laugh. “My brother Kelton is now giving sound advice. This is one for the books. Harvard suits you. Or I should say Lizzie suits you.” Kelton’s way of dealing with shit was pulling on his hair or punching his fists through walls. The latter wasn’t such a bad idea, but I couldn’t risk breaking or fracturing my hand like he had done not that long ago, not with my boxing career on the line.

“I’m not an expert, but give her space. When she’s ready, she’ll talk to you.”

I almost laughed again. He was the second or third person to give me that advice. “You didn’t let Lizzie be. Besides, we’re Maxwells. We don’t walk away, especially from family.” I was getting ahead of myself. I still didn’t know if I was a father. Nevertheless, I would do anything and everything to help Ruby and Norma get off the streets. Norma had confirmed that they’d been homeless until that waitress, Alex, had taken them in.

Man, Dillon was rubbing off on me. After hanging out with him and listening to his business plan for a homeless shelter for girls in need, I couldn’t help but admire the dude. I’d told him I wanted to help him in any way I could, although I’d never imagined I would be in a real-life situation with a homeless girl, especially one that had a small home in my heart.

“You never stopped caring for her, did you?” Kelton asked.

“Seeing her after all these years, I don’t know. She’s beautiful, Bro.” Even battered and bruised, the sight of her had given me goose bumps. “She still makes my stomach do crazy things.” When she had crashed into me with those drinks, my body had heated and my heartbeat had pounded all over the place. It was as though I’d bumped into her for the first time all over again. Her skin was soft beneath my touch. Her blue-green eyes flashed with a look that told me she wanted me as much as I wanted her. It was then I had wanted to show her how much of a man I’d become—a man who was dedicated, responsible, protective, caring, and had a heart.

Kelton chuckled. “The stomach thing is the first to go before you drop to your knees and worship her. Good to hear that my brother may be falling for a girl. Later, dude.”

I chuckled. Ruby and I had millions of miles separating our lives with problems stacked so high in between us, I wasn’t sure we would ever meet in the middle.

Pocketing my phone, I crossed the vast expanse of the trash-ridden floor to the room I’d seen Ruby duck into. Broken windows helped to infuse the building with a light scent of salt air from the harbor, which masked the acrid scent that was attached to my nostrils.

“Is this where you live?” Ruby’s voice filtered out of the room.

I poked in my head to find her talking to the black-and-white cat that was perched on a sink. Ruby was petting him, then she sneezed.

I stopped in the doorway. “Bless you.”

The room appeared to have been a lunchroom. In addition to the sink, a picnic table and a dented fridge were scattered about.

She dragged her hands down her jeans. “I’m allergic.”

“I remember.” The academy had a stray cat or two, and she’d always petted the creatures even though her allergies got the best of her.

Her gaze met mine. “You think I’m beautiful?”

“Eavesdropping?” I smirked, but inside, I was jumping up and down for joy. “Yes.”

“Even when you found me fighting?”

The cat hopped down, brushed against my leg, then slinked away.

“Honestly, yes.”

She looked away, biting her lower lip ever so gently.
Fuck
. My body came alive. One minute, she could be spunky, then the next, she was shy. That combination made my blood heat in ways I hadn’t felt since I’d been with her. Since we were sixteen, dancing under the stars, cuddling under a blanket on cold nights near the Greenridge Academy football field while I played with her hair or kissed her body anywhere she would let me.

Calm the fuck down, dude.
Shit, no girls I’d been with since Ruby made me feel the high I was experiencing at the moment. “So, I’m on your turf. Do we duke it out now?” I teased. I wanted to be that lower lip so fucking bad, I had to conjure up images of punching my opponent in a ring. Kelton had told me he always recited a mantra of sports or some shit when his dick wasn’t cooperating. I’d laughed at him. Now I was laughing at myself.

She puffed out her chest. “I might be able to kick your butt in the ring.”

I turned one side of my mouth upward. “Is that so? Maybe we should head down to the gym. I’d love to get you in the ring.” I’d love to do more than box, but that wouldn’t happen. Not now, anyway. Fuck if I wasn’t a pervert at the moment. I wanted answers, yet all I was doing was thinking about the physical and not in an emotional, professional, or friendly manner.

She dropped her gaze. “I’m fighting again on Saturday. I might take you up on that offer.”

“What?” I pinched my eyebrows. “You can’t.” My tone was hard. I didn’t want to watch her get her butt kicked again. She’d been all over the place with her punches while her opponent had been determined to knock Ruby’s lights out. Not only that, people died in illegal underground fighting. On the boxing circuit, I heard all kinds of stories about those who hadn’t made it out alive. “You’ll get hurt.” The only good move she’d exhibited was her footwork. But that wouldn’t get her far since she didn’t know how to anticipate her opponent’s next move. “Also, you shouldn’t be working for Tommy. The dude is into some bad shit. If you need money—”

Her rosy cheeks darkened. “Don’t.” A snarl cut through her pretty face. “Don’t you dare. I can take care of myself. You think you can ride in on your high horse and save me? Well, news flash. You can’t. And another news flash. You were the one who got me into trouble with Tommy.”

I raised my hands. “I’m sorry about that. I’ll talk to him.”

“No. Stay out of it.”

“Look, I’m offering my help.”

“No, you’re not. You’re bossing me around, something I recall you and your brothers doing a lot of with kids at the academy.” She huffed then sank back against the sink, holding herself. “Why didn’t you return my calls?”

I stretched my neck. “Why did you tell me you weren’t pregnant if you were?”

Her gaze was steadfast, piercing as she popped off the sink. “If you only tracked me down to find out if I was pregnant, then get out of my life.” She blew past me, bumping her shoulder into my bicep.

I caught her wrist. “Wait.”

“For what? You don’t want to know how I’m doing. You haven’t even asked me. You want one thing, and I’m sorry. I can’t give it to you. If you’re looking for a baby, then you’ll be looking for a ghost.”

My pulse kicked into high gear. “Are you saying we don’t have a child?” Over the last two weeks, I had grown accustomed to the idea that I could be a dad.

She closed her eyes, her delicate nostrils flaring.

I used that brief moment to wrap my arms around her. Then I tensed every muscle in my body, waiting for the onslaught of whatever she was about to dish out, whether emotionally or physically.

But she didn’t fight. She didn’t run. She didn’t even protest. She wrapped her arms around my waist. She sniffled as she buried her head into my chest as though she was trying to get inside of me. I rested my chin on her head, inhaling a faint aroma of strawberries. Her scent took me back four years when being with her made me smile, made me temporarily forget death, my sister, my mom’s problems, and everything else our family had been through.

“Please, Ruby. Talk to me. I’ve been a crazed man for two weeks. I don’t know which way is up anymore. I can’t box. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything. I’ve got to know if I’m a father.”

She jerked out of my hold. Emotion after emotion shuddered across her face with fury taking the lead. “Again, you’re not going to ask me how I’ve been?” Her voice rose, almost blaring as a tear slipped down her face. “You left me, Kross. You went back to your life. Not once did you return my calls. Not once did you even write a letter. If you didn’t want anything to do with me, then why didn’t you man up? All that bravado you and your brothers exuded, and you couldn’t even tell a girl you didn’t want to see her anymore?” She shook her head in either disgust or pity. It didn’t matter which because she was so fucking right. “I thought we were friends, and friends don’t just leave without even a good-bye.” She pursed her chapped lips together. “So many calls. So many nights I didn’t sleep. I cried for months. Everything changed after I told you I loved you. Was I just a piece of meat? The time we spent together, didn’t it mean something?”

I’d been nowhere near falling in love with any girl. “You know how fucking scared I was when you said you missed your period? Don’t you remember what I was going through with my family? My mom? I couldn’t get serious with anyone.”

“You could’ve at least told me we were done. Instead, you drove away, not even looking back.”

“Damn it.” My voice shook. “You lied to me.”

Her expression hardened. “I never lied to you. You never gave me a chance to tell you what I needed to tell you.”

I opened my arms. “Well, I’m standing here now.”

“Now is not good enough. You can’t fix me. You can’t change the last four years. The high and mighty Maxwell brothers. You boys thought your shit didn’t stink. You and your brothers got any girl you wanted. But
you
zeroed in on me. Did I have a sign on my forehead that said, ‘I’m a sucker. Pick me.’” She growled. “Well guess what? You can’t waltz into my life and think I’m going to drop everything for you or tell you what you want to know. I suffered. Now you can.” She stuck out her chin. “When you’re ready to have a conversation about us and not a baby, then you know where to find me.” With her head held high, she crossed the large warehouse floor, her footsteps thumping as fast as my pulse.

I pounded my fist against a cement column.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I’d told her I was sorry. I wasn’t sure what else to do.

The echo of her footsteps began to fade.

“Ruby! I don’t want to fix you.” I said it so fucking loud that my voice sounded like a sonic boom. “I was serious when I told my brother Kelton on the phone earlier that you were beautiful. After all these years, the sight of you still gets me hot.” Dirty, clean, pale, glowing, curvy, or rail thin, her presence did something to me. I chalked up the fluttering feeling to the beauty in her eyes, the spots of freckles that dotted her cheeks, and a smile that could knock me to the ground in one second.

Her retreating form stopped near the door.

I sighed heavily as I ran to her. “That’s the truth.” I prayed she heard the conviction in my voice. I knew she didn’t know Kross, the man. She only knew Kross, the boy, the sixteen-year-old who hadn’t seen past his own problems to open up to a girl. Sure, we’d talked about my family, but I’d never gone into detail about how I felt when my sister died or how I’d felt when my mom had entered into a mental health facility. I never could bring myself to say ‘I love you,’ not when I was confused and wasn’t sure. Even so, Ruby held a place in my heart. She’d been my shining star amid the darkness in my life.

She turned to face me, her expression tempered, although her bottom lip quivered every now and then.

“I’m the one who needs to be fixed.” I pointed to my chest. “I’m the one who’s the jerk. I’m sorry for not calling you back. When I was up at the academy a few weeks ago, I went to look for you to apologize for being a royal dick.” I closed the distance between us until four inches separated us. “I can’t change the past. I know I don’t deserve your attention, but I would like to start somewhere. I want to get to know
you
again.” It was the truth, and not just because I needed answers about a kid.