Dangerous Lovers (25 page)

When I got there, I was feeling mildly disoriented. I couldn’t take my mind off the village and the people who called it home. Soraya’s little face was stuck in my memory like a fly in a spider web. The shoeless people, whose faces had held no hope, haunted my mind in an almost agonizing way. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for them. I wanted so badly to do something to help them. I wanted so badly to help her. To hold her tiny body in my arms and tell her over and over how wonderful she was. Her words replayed in my head a thousand times:
I’m damaged.
They made me want to lash out and hit someone, to hurt anyone who dare tell her that she was anything less than perfect. I wanted blood.

I wanted to march up the steps of the Council building and demand an explanation from the queen herself. I wanted to slap the owners of the fancy cars that cruised up the streets and scream at the people living in the mansions that seemed to be on every corner of this city.

But the longer I sat on my bed and thought about the village, the less I could seem to recall. It was like trying to hold water in my hands, only to have it slip through my fingers at the last moment. I felt confused and my mind muddled, like I couldn’t think straight. I felt like I should just go to sleep, and I would wake up and find that I had imagined it all.

Instead, I pulled the small compass out of my pocket and stared at it. I took in its circular shape and studied the letters that marked the directions. Soraya had given me this, and it was no dream. I wouldn’t let myself forget her. I refused to. I would write everything I had seen down in a journal right now if that’s what it took to— The journal.

I still hadn’t looked at the journal that the librarian had given me. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand. It was just after four; if I read quickly enough, I could still return it to the library before they closed.

As I stood to go retrieve it from the bathroom, a knock sounded at my door. I had a good idea of who it might be.

I opened the door. “Hey, Nell.”

She studied me for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

I ushered her in and closed the door. “Nothing that you’re not already aware of.”

I hated lying to her, but thought it was best to keep Soraya and the village to myself for now. At least until I could gather more information.

She looked at me like she couldn’t decide if she believed me. “Yeah,” she said slowly, “I can’t believe Victoria had the nerve to do that. Are you okay? Where did you go?”

I sat down on my bed. “I’m fine. I just went for a run to burn off some energy.”

Nelly sat down next to me. “I hope it helped. I was a little worried back there. I thought you might lose control. Your soul was burning brighter than I’d ever seen it before. It was scary… I think Victoria learned her lesson, though.”

“You Searched me again?” My tone was a little more accusing than I had intended.

She cringed a little. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Really, I didn’t even try to, it just happened. The rage was so intense that it sent me a, like, a shock wave. It even hurt a little bit. I was afraid you were going to… I was afraid you might kill her.”

Her hazel eyes were filled with worry and what I thought was fear. I hoped it wasn’t fear of me. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Nelly wasn’t the one I was mad at. I didn’t really know
who
I was mad at.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound harsh. I’ve just had a long day. I don’t really care if you Search me.” I thought about Soraya and the village and corrected myself. “Just try not to, okay? Or at least tell me when you’re going to do it.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I glanced uneasily at the clock. “Would you mind letting me rest for a little bit? I just feel like I need to sleep it off.” I hoped that sounded believable.

“Of course.” She kissed my forehead and moved toward the door, but she stopped and turned back to me. “You sure there’s nothing else you want to talk about?” I shook my head.

She opened the door. “Okay, I’ll see you later then.”

Alone at last, I retrieved the book from the bathroom and sat back on my bed. Opening it up, I found that it was indeed a hand-written journal.

The first entry was dated over three-hundred years ago:

This dream I’ve been having has haunted me in the worst of ways. I’m beginning this journal so that I may remember that which haunts me. The dream shows me things that I fear have yet to come. Why I have been plagued with this knowledge is a mystery to me as of yet. That which has been revealed is so horrible that I pray I am wrong, and these things will not come to pass.

In my dream, I am shown a world of great wonders, a world where miracles that have not yet been revealed rule over every creature. A world in which the tyrants of my own time pale in comparison to those that rule in this future time. Those who are unfit will be discarded and sent to live in horrid conditions. Though the motives are unclear to me as of yet, I do know that there will be great suffering and dear losses.

The most frightening part of this new world is that there seems to be no Warriors present. The tyrants of this time have killed them off and the race becomes extinct. Without Warriors, my race is certain to perish as well, as we depend on one another for our existence.

I have seen one thing in this new world that gives me hope. A girl, whose strength is unparalleled by those of her time. She is a fighter. The only one of her kind, and so, it will fall upon her to free the people and stop the tyrants that plague this dark future. I only pray that she will be strong enough to take on this task, for in my dream, she is all alone, a single soul who holds the lives of so many in her hands.

The worst part is that I can see the fire inside of her, a fire so similar to my own. I can see the monster she struggles to contain, and I can see that it is a losing battle. And if the pain of the fire in my dreams is any indication, I cannot see how she will possibly succeed.

I read every page of the journal, from cover to cover, and on the last page, I found the answers to many of the questions I had had since I’d first arrived here.

Today, is the last day I shall be able to write here. I have lost my beloved Susan, my Warrior. It brings me great pain to even mention her name, and the pain that is now within me, the pain that she once took away, is going to destroy me at last.

Though, I feel an obligation to finish what I have started, and so, I write my final entry. The future has constantly become clearer and clearer in my dream since I first began these writings. Things in the world of my dream have become much worse than I had at first realized. The Accursed ones are in league with those who rule in this world I see. They conduct business with one another in a way that is quite sickening. They make deals and trades that are paid for in blood. There is no honor to be found here, there is no loyalty, no love.

But this girl I have seen has honor. She knows loyalty and love. She is worthy of the task that the Gods will place before her, and she will pay dearly to right the wrongs of her time. She will struggle greatly, but in the end, she will succeed. She will give all that she has to save those who need deliverance, but it will cost her everything. It will cost her life.

Just as the loss of my Warrior will cost me mine. For we are not whole without the other, we cannot deal with the pain without the balance the other brings. So, I shall destroy myself, throw myself into the fire, before it has a chance to escape, and destroy everything in its path.

Shutting the journal, I stood up from the bed and tucked it under my jacket. I had been reading for about four hours, lost in the tales of this unknown prophet. The library would still be open for another hour, and I needed to return the book as I had promised.

As I walked toward the direction of the library, the darkness that had fallen seemed to envelope me in a way that was almost suffocating. I was trying really hard not to think about what I’d just learned. I was trying really hard not to believe it. There was no way that I was the girl that was mentioned. Absolutely no way.

When I reached the library, I found it empty. I stood by the front desk and rang the little silver bell that sat on its surface. After my third ring, the librarian I had met the other day came out of the door that stood behind the desk.

She smiled when she saw me. “Warrior, I was worried you’d forgotten.” I handed her the journal, and she slipped it in the desk drawer. “Did you find the answers you were looking for?” she asked.

I released a heavy breath. “I can’t honestly say. I… I don’t know what I found.”

“Yes, I believe you do.”

I glanced around me and lowered my voice. “You don’t… you don’t think it’s me, do you? The girl mentioned in the journal? I mean, it can’t be, right?”

“Do
you
think it is?” she asked.

“No. I don’t. It can’t be.”

“And why not?”

I shrugged lamely. “It just can’t.”

Her face took on a disappointed look. “Then, there is no hope for any of us.”

I turned around and left without another word. I refused to believe that just because some nutcase had a dream three hundred years ago, I was supposed to be some kind of savior. I was just a kid. I hadn’t even graduated high school yet. I was not that person. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.

Maybe the journal was a fake, a cruel, not-funny joke of some kind. Still, it raised a lot of questions; questions I had no answers for.

Besides, most of it made no sense. Like the parts about this other race that was dependent on Warriors for their survival, and vice-versa. I didn’t have that dependence on anyone. At least, I didn’t think I did. Also, the mentioning of the Lamias being in league with the people who ruled couldn’t be true. Everyone I had met was deathly afraid of them. They’d built an enormous wall and a city that sat between two rivers to make sure that the Accursed were kept away.

But some of it, some of it had been dead-on. Like the way he’d described the fire inside of himself, the pain—it so closely matched my own. And the part about the horrid conditions that the people who weren’t fit lived in, that was extremely close to what I’d witnessed earlier today.

But, honestly, my brain was too overloaded with information to even make any more comparisons at the moment. And truth be told, I was scared too. Because as much as I kept telling myself I didn’t believe in prophecies, part of me wondered. I was seriously afraid to listen to that part, afraid of what it meant if it was right, if the man’s dreams had been right. Hadn’t I just promised Soraya earlier today that I would make things right, just like the journal had said I would? Hadn’t I vowed to fix things for her and the people in her village? Had I been fulfilling the prophecy without even knowing about it? That was a scary thought.

But the scariest part of all had been the last entry. If it was true, if I
was
this girl, this savior, then I would pay for it. I would pay for it with my life. But that’s not what worried me, the truth of something else did. I knew,
I knew
that if I had to make a choice between my life and Soraya’s, I would choose to die. I didn’t even really know her, yet I would give my life for her. Not because I’m altruistic, but because it was who I was, who I had always been. I suppose that is what made me a true Warrior.

I just hoped like hell that the journal was wrong. I just hoped like hell.

Chapter Forty-Six

I had to pass the Council building on the walk back to my dorm. I glared up at it in disdain. The statues of the robed people that lined the steps loomed over me in way that made me want to pick up some rocks and start throwing them. The trees that littered the well manicured grounds cast shadows that seemed to be hiding secrets. Secrets of bad deeds and wrongdoings, secrets that only things like trees were privy to.

Of the all buildings I had seen in this city, the Council building was by far the most imposing. I wondered what kind of sacrifice it took to build something so opulent, so supreme. It had a way of making me feel small, insignificant. The large silver doors reminded me of enormous jaws that might reach out and swallow me whole at any moment. Even the mural of the silver sun, so much like the one on my shoulder, felt wrong being there. Its beauty shouldn’t have been placed on a structure that housed such liars and traitors.

I shook my head at those thoughts and stared up at the building. I really had no verification to feel that way. I wasn’t absolutely sure that the queen and the Council were responsible for Soraya’s village. I still wasn’t sure what to think of that at all. And I also had decided that the journal was full of crap. I’d already said that the girl it mentioned couldn’t be me, so what would make me think that the parts about the “rulers of this time” being evil were true? Still, I found myself full of ambivalence. Maybe I was just upset about something being so luxurious while there were people living in poverty so nearby. I didn’t know what I thought.

Someone came out of the large silver doors as I was continuing my walk past the Council building. I stopped when I realized who it was. There was no mistaking the hair color and flannel shirt.