Dangerous Games (11 page)

“What exactly were you supposed to do exactly? You were nineteen. That is considered a mature age for you to have taken control, and tell my parents what’s what?” She breathed and leaned in to him until their bodies touched and the feeling was pure electricity. “I forgive you. Kieran was never supposed to be ours but that doesn’t mean our lives ended the day we lost him. We were too young and naïve to raise a child. It worked out the best way it could have for everyone involved. Now…will you please relax and allow me to give you one of the best blow jobs of your life?”

Finn smiled, displaying straight white teeth. “Your wish is my command.”

I
traced my hands down his chest but my head moved slower because I knew what Finn liked and what ultimately turned him on. We might have been fourteen and eighteen the first time we made love, and he broke my virginity but he knew what he was doing even at that age.

I’d once asked him what his secret was because everyone knew what teenage sex was like. Awkward, sticky, gross and not extremely fulfilling at all. A person’s twenties were when they learned more about their body and by the time they reached their thirties, if a woman didn’t know how to get herself off, she was indeed a hopeless cause.

This all courtesy of my mother who was an expert in all things sexual. Hence the reason why she was fucking a thirty year old French model. He had the moves like Jagger and then some, apparently.

Finn’s secret was French films and his first lover, a French exchange student who had lived with a friend of his in Omagh before they’d moved to the states. She was young but already she knew the simple art of kissing, and taught him many more pleasures of the flesh. They’d spent the summer devouring one another after her studies ended, and he hated when she had to go back to France.

My right index finger trailed down to his flat stomach before my hand cupped that male part of him. It was much too easy to undo the button of his jeans and let the zipper trail down to reveal he wore nothing underneath those jeans. His cock was already hard and as I wrapped my hand around that long, thick male part of him, a low growl came from his throat.

I sank down to my knees almost as if I were in a trance and licked the tip of his cock. He groaned while I continued my exploration of him with my mouth because it was like being welcomed home. I knew what every part of his body looked like as he did mine, and the years had been kind to him. He was still so firm and lean to go with his height.

My mouth opened and caressed the mushroom tip of his manhood as my mind began to wonder. I actually hated giving blowjobs. They were the part of sex I least liked but men seemed to love it. I hated doing it to anyone who wasn’t Finn. His cock was so perfect and meant to be devoured like an icy Popsicle on a hot summer day.

I began to take more and more of his length into my mouth and he bit back moans of pleasure but it was sensual and highly fulfilling. How could I not want to spend the rest of my life with this man but some part of me felt I needed more time before I made a decision of that sort.

It wasn’t something I wanted to think about now and as I concentrated on pleasuring him, I knew it was best if I thought about it in terms of how would it affect me to know he would be out there with another if I left him again. All the women he’d slept with sickened me because they didn’t deserve his attention or affection yet they’d still received it and that was unfair to me.

As I began to work harder and caressed him using my hands as well as my mouth, he stopped me abruptly.

His hands tilted my face up to him and inquired, “Why are you crying?”

“There’s been so much wasted time. We should have been together and we should have kept Kieran. Why didn’t we fight to keep him?” I questioned as the tears rolled down my face.

“Sweetheart, you know why. You were fifteen, and what the hell did you know about raisin’ a kid when you were still one yourself?”

“I knew enough to lay down with you, and allow you to get me pregnant. I knew I should have been on birth control of some sort. I’m not as naïve as you think even if you insist I wasn’t ready.”

Finn sighed before he got down on his knees and faced me. “What would you do if you
had
Kieran, Evie? You need a baby like you need a hole in your fuckin’ head. Word of advice: why don’t you figure out what it is you want to do with your life, and then you can really make some good decisions.”

I clenched my teeth so hard, my jaw flexed. “Why the hell do you think I came back here in the first place, you fuckin’ idiot? I wanted to be with you and I know we have a future together, baby, but…you have to give me some more time so I can make an informed decision. What are your plans and goals while we’re on the subject? Drug dealers don’t exactly have a long shelf life.”

“What do you think I am gonna do? I am saving money, and by the time I am twenty-six, I will be able to go completely legit. I can invest in my own business, and live where I want. I know I won’t be able to live here for the rest of my life. Too many people I’m familiar with and way too many bad influences.”

Finn slid his arms around my waist and pulled me toward his bare chest. My breasts immediately responded and my nipples hardened against his firm body. “That’s why I wanted to marry you because when it’s time for us to go then nothing can stop us. We can be together always and we’ll be so happy because we can make up for all that lost time.”

I smiled as I gazed into his crystal blue eyes before I slipped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. We kissed one another and it was all tongue and silky lips. One of his hands cupped the curve of my ass while the other slid down past my stomach and reached into my boy shorts.

He suddenly pulled away as if he’d burned his hand. “What happened to you down there?”

“Um, ever heard of a Brazilian? I haven’t worn a full bush since I was sixteen, Finn.”

“Is that some sort of Hollywood thing? Either I have been with women who’ve been bald as a baby’s bottom—and that is not a sexy look, believe me—or a women with a full bush.”

“Talk about unsexy. No, it’s not a Hollywood thing. It’s cleaner, and when you are in a relationship with a woman, you respect simplicity. Plus it makes me ultra sensitive and with just one touch, you could send me into waves of pleasure.”

“I’ll have to try that.” Finn reached down and cupped my sex over my boy shorts and my hips bucked unconsciously. “So, it’s true, you are hyper-sensitive, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” I whispered and surrendered to his soft lips and tongue as they brushed against mine again.

He grabbed me and I clasped my legs around his waist as he led us to the bed. We lay down together and became a tangle of limbs, our bodies pressed firmly together.

Finn’s lips trailed down my neck and collarbone before his hands roamed over my firm breasts and squeezed gently. Then his tongue licked my right nipple before his whole mouth suckled on it and covered my whole areola. I moaned out loud as my own hands roamed through his silky locks. As his fingers squeezed my left nipple, I allowed myself to let go and stop fighting him. We were meant to be together and there was no way this was going to end at mere oral sex.

His beautiful mouth switched nipples and I could feel the wetness gather between my legs with such ease. All it took was a little nipple play and I wanted him inside me more than I’d ever desired another. He was the one for me whether I wanted him to be or not.

My gorgeous lover lowered himself down my body, and teased my navel with his tongue as he grabbed my boy shorts and slid them down my legs. They ended up on the floor as he spread my legs and I felt the hot wetness of his tongue as he teased my clit which pulsed with desire and longing.

I wanted him to open me up but he liked to be in control. Instead of using his fingers, his mouth and tongue and did all the work, and it was enough to drive me near the edge of the cliff. It was so perfect and wonderfully sexy I didn’t want it to ever end. When Finn’s mouth suckled on my clit, I came in a wave of exquisite pleasure. It peaked at the exact spot and spread over my body until I felt like fireworks were exploding all around me.

It didn’t take much for me to sit up, and help him with his jeans. We slipped them off his legs and he helped me discard my open camisole top. Our clothes ended up an ever-growing pile on the floor; then he was on top of me and my legs were spread wide as he fit himself between them and I watched as he held his cock.

He pulled out a lambskin condom XL and slid it over his shaft. “No mistakes, remember?”

“How were you so sure you were going to get lucky?” I sat up on my elbows. “I’m assuming you know those don’t protect against sexually transmitted diseases so you must have bought them specifically for me.”

“I don’t deal with drugged out skanks,” Finn replied dismissively. “Although you are right, I bought these for you. Otherwise I use Durex, and believe me they don’t feel anything like this.”

I bit my lip before I smiled. “Less talk, just get to work, mister.”

Finn pushed me down on the bed and guided himself inside me, not that he needed any help. I was so wet, I could feel myself yield to his invasion and it felt delicious and so incredibly perfect. When his pelvis hit my cervix, I knew he was all the way inside me.

I closed my eyes and the feeling swept over me as he thrust inside me slowly at first, each time his cock hit the hilt of me an affirmation we were together again and he was fucking me. We were with one another again and it was everything I’d dreamed about and more.

Our bodies slowly blended into one as he pressed his chest against my breasts and I could feel his warm breath against my face. “Open your eyes, baby.”

They met his, those gorgeous blue irises glued to mine before our lips met again in a soul-stealing kiss.

His strokes became faster and deeper. My hips bucked to meet his rhythm until we became in tuned to one another and just like that, it was like climbing onto a bicycle again. We knew each other and I pulled him as close as I could to me before we collapsed against one another in a dizzying array of orgasmic feeling and bliss.

I felt him thrust inside of me until he went semi-soft as he tried to ride out his orgasm. Finally, he withdrew and lay on his back beside me before he slipped the condom off and threw it in the wastebasket.

“Christ, that was…absolutely amazing. How could I forget how explosive we were together? How have I lived without you in my life all this time?” Finn whispered.

A feeling of numbness swept over me. Here I was with my first love but I wanted to be anywhere but there. I didn’t want to fall in love with Finn all over again only to get my heart broken. He was napalm, and it would be me who went up in flames in the end. I couldn’t take that kind of heartbreak again and yet, I was almost twenty.

Still, I pushed those feelings down inside me and snuggled with him. We fell asleep in one another’s arms, and only then did I feel an intense sense of peace.

I
found it so easy to settle into my life back in Boston, especially during those early days. Finn and I got into the grove of spending a lot of time together and often, we would go out on couple dates with Brandon and Fiona. There was our favorite watering hole where us girls could do lines of Oxyballs in the bathroom without worrying about whether the cops were going to bust in and catch us.

We spent the first few early hours of my twentieth birthday there and it was a complete and utter blast. I had never been so happy to be rid of my teen years and June fifteenth couldn’t visit me fast enough.

It was a warm summer day I spent with Finn. He drove me to Orleans in Cape Cod and we spent several hours at Skaket Beach. For a long time we just walked near the shoreline and admired the view because it was gorgeous and although it was cooler out by the sea than in Boston, the day was perfect.

Finn slipped his black wool coat around my shoulders and I struggled into it. The idea we might be anywhere other than the City had escaped my mind when he said he had a surprise therefore I’d dressed in white Capri-length skinny jeans, a scarlet lace tee-shirt which purposely displayed the sexy white bra I wore underneath and a pair of scarlet four-inch wedge sandals courtesy of Christian Louboutin.

“Are you trying to hide my goods?” I teased as we walked towards the beach and received more than our fair share of looks from both men and women.

I knew he was hot and so did he but he played his looks down. He wore a black tee shirt and a pair of blue jeans with a pair of black Converse. Yes, he was dressed appropriate enough for the young rich yuppie crowd but his tats definitely made him stand out and I knew some people gave us disapproving looks.

“Nah, nothin’ like that,” he replied in a casual manner. “It is so fucking obvious you are a rich girl slummin’ with a working class guy. All the men are giving you looks that read they clearly think you are skank for bein’ with me.”

“Bullshit,” I said before I regretted the words. “Yeah, I am a rich girl because of who my parents are but that isn’t me, not really. So, you tell me, who is 
really
 the fraud? This is where I feel comfortable, when I am hanging out with you, my family and your friends. Boston is what I know. I was never accepted when I lived in California. The kids treated me like shit and made fun of my accent. My mom accused me of not trying hard enough.”

I paused as we continued to walk along the beach. “Then I met my best friend, Monika, and everything changed. Her mother was a former actress turned agent and we were called the Barbie twins because we both had blonde hair. She made me feel like I could do anything, a lot like you. I’m sure she will call me sometime today to wish me a happy birthday but seriously, this is the best birthday I have had since I was fifteen. Seriously.”

Finn stopped and turned toward me. “Are you pulling my leg? I haven’t even taken you to lunch yet. Then say this is the best birthday you’ve had in five years.”

I laughed out loud then. “Fine, it’s eleven thirty and we have been here for exactly one hour, why don’t you take me to lunch?”

“Because, I plan to get you drunk so let’s walk a little bit more.”

I watched as the waves came in from the Atlantic before they retreated again. It was a beautiful setting and I slipped my arms around Finn’s waist. “I love you, you know that, right?”

He kissed my lips quickly. “Of course I know that. I suppose I don’t have to tell you how much I love you too. More than the sunset or something else that is really cheesy and you would only hear a guy say in a chick flick or a young adult book.”

I laughed again. “You mean to tell me you love me more than sunsets and chocolate cake? More than your Wii or Grand Theft Auto? More than that dope ass ride you drive or drinkin’ with the fellas? More than Oxy?”

“Oxy doesn’t even come into the picture because I could never love any drug more than I love a person in my life, Evie. I deal with them because they are one of the few ways a poor kid like me with no prospects in life because I could make ‘easy money’. I know I’m smart, just not Harvard or Boston University smart. Plus, it’s an easy way to make some quick cash and start over. Unfortunately, the girl I wanna start over with wasn’t ever cut out for this kind of life—”

“What the hell are you talkin’ about? I was born and raised in Dorchester for fuck’s sake—not Beacon Hill—and I belong here by your side just as much as any other Southie chick so don’t you dare say something like that to me, 
Finbar
!” I exclaimed in anger.

“Watch your mouth.” He smiled at me crookedly. “Ladies shouldn’t use that kind of language.”

“I ain’t no lady and no one knows that more than you.”

Finn laughed and his was deep and hearty. “Nope, you sure aren’t that.”

We continued to walk along the beach but before we could get far, my phone started to ring and I dug it out of my Louis Vuitton hobo bag. It was Monika and I quickly answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Happy birthday, honey! You didn’t think I’d forgotten, did you?”

“Course not,” I replied. “Where are you? Finn has taken me out to Cape Cod for the day so it’s kind of hard to hear you because of the waves from the ocean.”

Monika laughed. “Did you forget I’m a rich girl like you with endless money? I flew to Boston to see you and I’m staying in town. We are staying at the Fairmont Battery Wharf and guess who I just ran into?”

My heart quickened a beat. “If you say my mother, I am going to faint.”

“She’s here. It’s a surprise and I am not supposed to tell you so you’re going to have to cut your visit to the Cod short and get your ass back to Bean Town.”

“No one calls it that but out-of-towners. It’s like calling San Francisco Frisco to a native. We just don’t use that phrase here.”

“I can tell. Your accent has come back with a vengeance. Where has Ms. California disappeared off to? I miss her.”

“Well, she sure as shit isn’t here. That’s for damn sure. I’ll let Finn know and I guess we’re supposed to meet for lunch knowing my mother.”

“Yep. One in the afternoon, sharp, so don’t be late.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I responded. “See you in a bit.”

“Coolio. Drive safely.”

I ended the call and stuck my Ulysse Nardin back in my hobo purse. “Listen, there has been a change of plans. Mommy dearest has decided to make an appearance along with her boy toy, my best friend and her boyfriend. We have to meet them all at the swanky Fairmont in Boston. You up for an utterly and completely fake lunch which consists of an aging movie star, a French model, and two spoiled Angelinos who are both in their early twenties like us?”

Finn pulled me closer and grabbed my ass. “Do I have a choice?”

I smiled sweetly though I knew my eyes were hard as daggers. “No.”

F
inn drove the Escalade like his life depended upon us making it back to Boston at a decent hour, and in a way, it did. My mom was a control freak and not used to anyone standing her up or being late.

Monika barely registered in my mind though I was excited to see her and this new beau she talked about non-stop. Her boyfriend, Clive O’Shea, was also part of Hollywood royalty. The son of famed Irish actor, Brian O’Shea and his English superstar actress wife, Gemma Atherton, was all grown up. At the age of twenty-two, he had starred in a few teen flicks but now was attending UCLA Film School because his real passion was directing, and that’s what he decided he wanted to do with his life.

I knew of Brian since we had all attended the same high school, but I thought he was a dick at the time and wondered how he had managed to snag my best friend who was extremely genuine and intelligent to be a “Hollywood brat.” The thought of seeing them again alone almost caused me to break out in hives. I didn’t want to be reminded of Los Angeles, and all of its fake shit where nothing was as it appeared to be—despite a devious web weaved for it to appear like any other high profile city. Whether I realized it or not, my best friend and her boyfriend along with my mother brought back all the reasons why I hated that godforsaken place.

It was full of fake people who didn’t give a crap about anyone or anything but money, shopping and what high-profile celebrity they could become insta-friends with to gain more recognition. Living there had been a nightmare I had no wish to be faced with the epitome of Hollywood elite on the day that was supposed to be
my
day.

Finn sensed my nervousness and grabbed my left hand with his right. He instantly made me feel safe, and I knew with him by my side, I would be more than okay. I would be great because he would be there for me to come to my defense. He truly was a gem, and I suddenly wondered yet again since he asked me why I hadn’t just said yes to his marriage proposal.

Then it came back to me. I’d just turned twenty. Did I want to say that I hadn’t gotten my share of cock and then some on my deathbed? Did I really want him to be the only guy—along with a few one-night stands, and Kyle, my former marijuana connection—I’d ever slept with? Hell, did I really want him to be the only guy I ever loved? Wouldn’t it be good for me to get my heart broken so when I fell in love I truly appreciated what we had?

I knew my attitude was warped. Fiona had told me more often than not since I’d been back. No one understood where I was coming from when I had a sexy guy like Finn next to me. But something was missing between us. Yes, we had been through a very traumatic episode together as teens but that wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship through adulthood.

Maybe living in L.A. had permanently fucked me up, and if a girl my age hadn’t been through at least fifty to one hundred guys then she was considered weird. I had never been promiscuous, and my only serious relationships consisted of the one I had with Finn—yet again—and Amaani. Other than that, I had slept with a few guys, and all the incidents were duds so I thought why bother? Why was I lying down or up against the wall with a guy I didn’t give a shit about, and who cared even less about me?

By the time we arrived at the Fairmont Battery Wharf, I actually appreciated they had valet parking. Finn left his coat in the car because it was perfect late spring day and summer, was literally days away. He slid his arm around my waist and we walked directly to The Terrace at Aragosta where it took less than a minute to find my mother, her beau, Monika and Clive. They obviously looked very elegant, and it was obvious by a couple of bodyguards seated at the table next to my brood, none of them wanted to be disturbed by fans.