Dangerous Dreams: A Novel (99 page)

Gibbes nodded, stood to take his leave, beckoned at Johnson. “Well, she’s in good hands with you, Milady, and I am deeply grateful. Could not have forgiven myself if she’d died helping me.” He looked suddenly forlorn. “And I shall
never
forgive myself for the loss of Mistress Chapman.”

Emily replied quickly, curtly, “Johnny Gibbes, do not blame yourself; you did everything you could to protect her, and what happened was
not
your fault.”

Gibbes shook his head abashedly. “Would that it were so.” He sighed, bowed, took his leave.

Johnson followed but stopped at the door, faced Elyoner. “Many thanks, Mistress Dare. You, too, are an angel.”

Elyoner smiled, nodded, then led Shines to the fireplace and a large pot of bayberries immersed in boiling water, began skimming berry wax from the water’s surface with a thin, rectangular piece of wood the length of a woman’s shoe. After several swipes, she held the board over a smaller pot, also on the fire, used a knife to scrape the accumulated wax from the board into it, then motioned Shines to repeat the process.

Emily rolled her stump over to Emme, knelt beside her, touched her forehead, then watched the rhythmic rise and fall of the blanket covering her chest. Satisfied, she walked to her own bed where Virginia lay squirming and rooting, preparing to demand a meal. She picked up the grass doll Shines had brought Virginia, held it in front of her, watched her eyes glow, her hands animate excitedly, then grasp it and thrust it into her mouth. “No, no, little one. We don’t eat our dolls . . . especially this clever, beautiful one Auntie Shines made for you.” The doll was three inches wide, eight inches long, and crafted from a doubled-over tuft of grass bound by a tight piece of sinew at the neck to make the head. She had small tufts of grass—bunched together, cut to proper lengths, and bound—at her sides and bottom for arms and legs; her eyes and nose were small pebbles held in place by dried sap, as were her smiling lips which had been fashioned from a curved twig. She wore a soft doeskin dress and moccasins and had a neat tuft of long, black hair tied in a tail behind her head. Emily stared at her for a moment, felt a twinge in her heart as she thought of her own doeskin dress, which she’d started to burn after the rape but had instead folded and placed in her chest. She turned, smiled at Shines, who watched with a wide grin, then nodded and lifted Virginia from the crib. “Come, baby, time to eat.” She carried her to the stump stool beside Emme, sat; unbuttoned her shirt, lowered it and her smock over her shoulders; offered a breast, which Virginia ravenously accepted. Emily pulsed with excitement as she felt the warm, flowing sensation in her breast, smiled at Elyoner. “Ellie, my milk’s returned. You’ve no idea how I’ve missed this.”

Elyoner smiled. “I knew it would, Em. Forsooth, you seem more yourself today in every way.”

Emily nodded, looked down at Virginia. I love you, my little one . . . as I shall love my own child. And I shall let nothing harm you. I’ve decided what I must do, and I feel the better for realizing it though ’twill not be the life I’d expected for myself. But for you and the one within me I shall give my life, and the peace brought by this decision must be why I have milk for you today. So eat hearty, dear Virginia. Verily, I’d forgotten how wonderful the pull of your lips feels upon me.

She looked up, glanced at Elyoner and Shines, saw them whispering to one another, their faces but a few inches apart. “What ho, you two, what’s amiss?”

Elyoner pulled back like a child caught in a naughty act. “Oh . . . uh . . . I was telling Shines what a wonderful mother you are.”

Emily gave her a suspicious look. “You lie, Elyoner Dare, I see it in your face. Truly, what were you saying?”

Elyoner looked at Shines then Emily. “Indeed, that is precisely what I said.” She looked back at Shines, turning her head so Emily couldn’t see her right eye, then spoke with her hands and a few English and Chesapeake words, followed by a wink. “I said Emily’s a wonderful mother, yes?”

Shines nodded, first at Elyoner then at Emily.

Emily raised an eyebrow, replied with her free hand and some Chesapeake words. “I do not believe you either, Shines. But very well, keep your little secrets.” She looked down at Virginia. They’re plotting something; but no matter, I shall watch your pretty little face instead of them.

Elyoner started pantomiming the steps of making bayberry candles to Shines: fluttered her fingers to describe the wax melting; grasped both ends of a two-foot stick with five wick strings attached, pretended to lower it into the wax pot; hesitated; removed it, set it aside on two elevated supports as if to let it solidify. She repeated the procedure with the other three sticks then returned to the first and pretended to dip it again. Setting it aside, she made a circular motion with her right hand to convey repetition. Finally, she picked up a lit candle from the tabletop, held it in front of Shines, whose dark eyes immediately glowed with childlike delight.

Later, as Elyoner and Shines skimmed wax, Emily burped Virginia, listened as Shines, with a shadow of fear on her face, told Elyoner that before the attack at the streambed, the Powhatans had been watching both villages, which had greatly discomfited the Chesapeakes; for though they disliked the Powhatans, they
had
sworn allegiance to their powerful chiefdom and agreed to be their allies. So there had been nervous talk of moving the camp away from the colony to avoid aggravating the Powhatans and incurring their wrath.

Elyoner said, “More good news, eh, Em?”

“Aye, indeed . . . Ellie, when do you think your father will—”

Emme moaned, pushed herself up on her elbow. “Ooooh! Hurts.” She fell back to the bed.

Emily said, “Emme, be still.” She hurriedly carried Virginia across the room, laid her in her crib, then picked up a bundle of fresh cloth, returned to Emme, joining Elyoner and Shines, who already knelt beside her.

“I want to sit up.”

Elyoner said, “Very well, here, let me help you. Move slowly.” She and Shines grasped Emme’s arms, pulled her up to a sitting position as the blanket fell away from her bare upper body. “Chilly in here. Let’s get something on you before you freeze to death.”

Emily said, “Wait. I must change the bandage; ’tis quite bloody.”

Shines raised both hands, signaled Emily to wait. She stood, rushed outside.

Emily and Elyoner watched her go; then Elyoner quickly retrieved a shawl, laid it across Emme’s shoulders while Emily unwrapped the bandage and Emme groaned.

A moment later, Shines returned with a handful of mud and moss, knelt beside Emme. She looked at Emily and Elyoner, pointed at the mud and moss then at Emme’s wounds, looked for approval. When Emily nodded consent, Shines laid the moss over Emme’s wounds, packed a layer of mud on it, and nodded at Emily, who waited with her bandages.

Emme said, “Ooh! ’Tis quite chilly, but feels good.”

Shines smiled. “Make better.”

Elyoner and Shines held Emme’s arms as Emily re-wrapped the wounds then pulled Emme’s smock and shirt over her shoulders. “A most stylish shirt, Emme Merrimoth. Those bloody holes are quite attractive. Perhaps you’ll start a new style in London.” She smiled. “I’ll get a fresh one from your cottage when I change the bandage.”

“Aye. Thank you, Em. Did not expect to lose a good shirt to an arrow. Can I get up now?”

“No. Stay where you are. In fact, I’m keeping you here for a few days to ensure you behave yourself, for I know you to be a villainous sort . . . like me.”

Emme smiled impishly. “I’m no such thing.” Her smile slowly receded like an outgoing tide. “How is Johnny?”

Emily said, “Fine. He’s returning to see you later.”

Emme stared somberly at the blanket covering her legs. “Happened so fast. No time to think or be afraid . . . just threw myself on him . . . protecting him was all that mattered.” She looked at the others. “You know, I love him, and . . . and . . . I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but you are my best friends . . . and I have to tell someone.” She smiled. “Governor Baylye secretly married us yesterday.”

Elyoner and Emily immediately leaned over Emme, congratulated her, hugged her, kissed her on the cheek. Emily then explained the excitement to Shines, who replied with a broad, toothy smile. Elyoner said, “Why secretly? ’Twould have been a rare, grand opportunity for some merriment in this morose colony.”

Emme grinned for a moment then reclaimed her somber expression. “I should not have said anything; but we married secretly because Johnny fears Tayler will try to harm
me
to harm
him
, as you and I discussed, Emily. So please guard our secret.” She shook her head. “I tell you, Johnny fears no man face-to-face, but a craven’s strike to the back from the shadows is another matter, and such is Tayler’s way.”

Emily looked surprised. “You must know far more about Hugh Tayler than what he did to Johnny’s sister.”

“Aye. I know of his murder of Robert Wilkinson, his cowardice under fire, his affair with his commander’s wife, his abandonment of his wife
and children, and his rape and murder of a friend’s wife. But there’s something else. Johnny and the other sergeants, as well as Lieutenant Waters and Governor Baylye, believe Tayler leads a conspiracy to undermine and destroy the colony.”

Shines said, “Tayler . . . bad man.” She slid her index finger across her throat in a cutting motion.

The three Englishwomen gawked at her with wide, incredulous eyes and gaping lips.

After an awkward silence, Elyoner cleared her throat. “Well . . . Father knew there was something between Tayler and Lord Walsingham, but he knew not what. Pray he’s put the puzzle together and returns prepared to deal with it.”

Emily said, “And soon, I hope.”

“
’Twill
be soon. I’m certain of it, for I know he longs to see Virginia.” She paused a moment. “Perhaps we should now enjoy a feast of smoked fish and pemmican.”

After a meager meal, the three sat around Emme in silence until Elyoner nodded subtly at Emme and Shines, and all three promptly looked at Emily.

Emily said, “Why are you all looking at me like that?”

Elyoner again cleared her throat. “Emily, Emme told me you saw Isna a few days ago.”

Emily tensed; her heart raced then pounded. “Yes . . . I did.”

“But you fled him, didn’t speak to him.”

“Ellie, am I on trial? You know I no longer wish to see him, and I refuse to discuss it further.”

After a long pause, Elyoner said, “I do not know Isna other than through your voice, but I know you love him. All of us know it. And Shines knows that
he
loves
you
and will do anything to help you.”

Emily swallowed, looked away, fought the tears welling in her eyes. “It matters not.” She closed her eyes. Oh, Isna, I miss you so. My heart, rending in two.

“But it
does
matter, Emily; and
you
matter, beyond measure, to all three of us . . . and to Isna. So we shall no longer abide your carrying this burden alone. You must share it with
us
,
now
.” Shines and Emme nodded.

Emily’s eyes lingered on Elyoner, read her resolve. She glanced quickly at Shines and Emme, saw the same, then looked back at Elyoner as her fragile composure began to melt like an icicle in a warm spring sun. Her eyes misted; her lower lip jutted forward and curled downward; tears rolled down her cheeks, dripped onto her lap; her hands trembled. “Ooooooh.” She lowered her face to her hands, sobbed, shuddered.

The three stared helplessly at one another with anguished faces.

Emily sputtered, “You were right, Ellie . . . right about . . . about everything . . . he . . . he raped me . . . took my . . . my virginity . . . my life, my soul . . . and I hated it . . . but I pleasured in it . . . and now I am naught but a whore . . . a condemned sinner . . . a worthless slut . . . unworthy of a good man, if any were fool enough to want me . . . and a disgrace to any who might. I cannot do that to Isna, for I love him with all my heart and soul. Ooooooh. I want to die.”

Elyoner rushed to her side, enveloped her in a tight embrace, then shook her head. “Please do not say that, Em . . . my poor, dear friend. How have you borne this alone?”

Emme whispered, “Emily you are wrong. ’Twas not your fault. You bear
no
guilt,
no
shame. ’Twas all
Tayler’s
doing, and believe me, many a good man will want you, love you, understand what’s befallen you, and think naught of it—see beyond to the wonderful, kind, innocent person you are.”

Shines spoke in broken English. “ Isna say”—she touched her heart, shook her head, motioned Emily to watch her hands—“Isna loves Emily . . . more than his own life. He will do
anything
for her if she will let him.”

Elyoner said, “What did she say?”

Emily again buried her face in her hands, moaned. “She said . . . Isna . . . loves me . . . oooh.” She lifted her face from her hands, rubbed her eyes. “There’s one thing more I must tell you. I’ve . . . I’ve missed my period . . . had the sickness, bleeding, dizziness, weariness . . . and I feel it inside. I
am
with child.”

Elyoner said, “Oh, Em, my dear Em.” She exploded with an angry, venomous look. “Damn him to hell, Em, you’ve tolerated too much, too long. By God himself, I shall see that filthy miscreant pay—slowly and painfully.”

Emily stared grimly at her, shook her head. “Ellie, you mustn’t say anything.”

Elyoner’s face was red, her eyes wild with rage. “The devil with that, Emily Colman. Tayler’s a plague, and he must be treated so.”

“No, Ellie! You must say nothing!” She paused, looked at the floor, composed herself. “Since the rape, I’ve thought of nothing but my situation and future; and I now know that for the good of my child, I must make my life with Hugh Tayler . . . though I detest the very thought of it.”

Emme and Shines moaned; Elyoner stared glassy-eyed and dumbstruck.

“My child and I must have a means of support other than me selling my body.” She watched their pained, sympathetic, faces.

Elyoner said, “Does he know of the child?”