Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken (18 page)

“I do,” she lied.

Well … sort of lied. It wasn’t a lie that she wanted something serious, but she’d just pretty much misled him to think that he was that man that she wanted that
‘something serious’
with. And for that, she felt lower than shit …

His blue-green eyes brightened at her words and a smile spread on his lips. “Really?” he asked.

But as always, Braden didn’t wait for her answer to his question. He just kissed her … really well. So well, he’d actually managed to steal her thoughts for a fleeting moment, steal her focus from the man that normally monopolized her thoughts, and in that fleeting moment it felt like old times. Reanna had actually closed her eyes, and enjoyed kissing Braden with no thoughts of Kyle.

“Reanna,” Braden breathed, slightly pulling back from her lips.

Slowly, Reanna opened her eyes and locked them to his. “Yes,” she whispered, arching up to brush her lips against his.

She wasn’t going to lie; she was still a little caught in the moment. She hoped he hurried to say whatever it was that he was thinking. She was pretty sure she only had another few seconds or so before her thoughts of Kyle returned to bulldoze the thoughts of any other man but him out of her head.

“What is it?” she urged him again.

After a second or more of hesitation, four words that Reanna hadn’t expected him to say tonight just seemed to spill right out of his gorgeous mouth, effectively stunning Reanna to silence.

“I still love you.”

Her mouth dropped.
Oh no,
don’t say that. Please no!

Smiling, he cupped her face. “I never stopped, Reanna. Not for one day while I was gone.”

On the outside, Reanna prayed that her expression remained impassive, because on the inside she was losing her shit.
Of course.
Of course her freaking
‘get back out their relationship’
would progress from zero to one-hundred and sixty in five freaking seconds. Of course! In retrospect this may have been her fault since she’d been the one that decided to re-light an old flame, but still. He couldn’t possibly still be in love with her after four years. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about Braden or enjoy being with him, because honestly, she did. It was just that she wasn’t particularly … at the
love stage
yet. Especially since her feelings for Kyle seemed to be as stubborn as the man himself.

“Jesus Christ, Reanna,” Braden chuckled suddenly, catching her off guard.

She frowned. Okay, what the hell was going on now? Was the man having mood swings?

Suddenly offended—for most likely some irrational reason—Reanna removed Braden’s hand from her face. “Umm … what the hell, Braden?” she asked angrily.

He chuckled a bit harder, placing his removed hand to her waist. “Don’t be upset, Rea. You’re just funny.”

Her eyes widened slightly in outrage. Funny? Had she missed something? When the hell had she said something funny.

Gripping his hand at her waist, Reanna pushed him away once again. “I didn’t tell a joke,” she snapped, reaching to open the car door.

“Reanna, stop, babe …”

“I think we should call it a night, Braden.” Because, obviously, the man was tired. Who the hell laughed at a woman after confessing his love for her? In what world was that acceptable?

Right as she was about to open the door, Braden’s hand covered hers.

“Babe, would you stop it?” he yelled, a slight laugh still in his voice. “I’m not laughing at you like that. Calm down.”

Reanna whipped around to face him. “Really, Braden? Because it sounds like you are laughing at me, and I didn’t even say anything funny …” She hadn’t even said anything at all!

Still idiotically jovial—and apparently brave—Braden leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss on her lips.

Reanna’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. No he did not! “Braden!”

It was one thing to laugh at her, but to totally disregard her feelings?
No way
. She was about to kick his ass … or try her absolute best to at least land one good smack to his face.

But before she could do that, he kissed her again.

“Braden!” she screamed.

But he was all smiles, and chuckles still. How was it possible that he could be that way in the face of her super fierce anger? It pissed her off.

“God I missed you, Reanna,” he said shaking his head.

“Well you’re about to miss me even more, asshole.” Reanna hit his big, stupid, arm. “You’re such a freaking … mean person!”

Yep. That was her insult, and as weak as it was she was sticking with it.

“Reanna, would you please listen for a moment, love? Please.”

Curse her heart, curse it!

Of all the things to say, he had to say that? The one word that was indeed magic in Reanna’s world. It was stupid of her, but it was a lesson from her childhood that actually stuck.

Rolling her eyes at herself, she allowed his hand to embrace her waist once more, but she refused to wipe away the scowl that was still firmly on her face. That she would not do.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was laughing at you, sweetheart. I wasn’t.”

Her frown deepened. “Then what were you laughing at?” Was it because she hadn’t said ‘I love you’ back? If it was? Not cool.

“I’m just happy.” He smiled. “I just told you how I felt, and just like the first time I’d told you back then, you freaked out.”

“I didn’t freak out,” she lied defensively. She had freaked out, a little … okay, a lot. But that was neither here nor there. He shouldn’t have laughed.

“You did,” he chuckled. “But it’s okay, though. I expected you to.”

It was the way he looked at her while he said the words, while his hand moved slowly up and down the curve of her waist. There was so much love there. It was … overwhelming. How could he still want her so much?

“I don’t expect you to say that you love me back, Reanna,” he stated softly, bringing his hand up to caress her cheek once again. “I just wanted you to know how I feel.”

And that was all Reanna had ever wanted … just not from Braden. That thought saddened her. Braden was the guy she should want that from, but she didn’t.

“I know I have to earn your trust back. I hurt you when I left …”

Reanna shook her head. “You were doing good for others, Braden.” She didn’t want him to feel bad about that. Not for her sake. “It didn’t work out because we were both consumed with our work, not because you left. I was just as much to blame in that.”

“But I stayed away for four years,” he argued, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have done that. I mean,” he shrugged, “who knows where you and I would be right now, had I stayed.”

It was the genuine look in his eyes that warmed her, made her soften up to him once again. It took her back to when they’d previously dated, and she suddenly remembered why she’d been so taken with him. He was good … genuinely good. And honest. He’d been the best boyfriend a twenty-something-year-old girl could’ve asked for—especially after the boyfriend she’d suffered through before him—and she had loved him once upon a time. It was just … things had changed now. Not him, though; Braden was the same. Still good, still easy on the eyes, and still honest with her. It was her. She had changed. Though she connected with Braden on many different levels, Reanna now knew what it felt like to feel
completely
connected to a man. A connection that went far beyond the physical.
Curse her
for wanting a man she couldn’t have. She hated herself, even more now with Braden sitting here offering himself to her. And what scared her the most was, she could actually see it with him, a future. Marriage, kids, soccer games, the works. She could see all of that with Braden. She could fall in love with him again, live a happy life in denial. Try her best to forget Kyle … her baby Sofia.

Tears glossed her eyes at the thought, even though she tried her hardest to fight against them. “Married,” Reanna whispered, knowing in her heart that the answer was true. “We’d be married, and probably on our second kid.”

And she would have kept a healthy distance away from Kyle … and her heart wouldn’t be breaking constantly with the knowledge that there was someone out there that was actually perfect for who she
really was
, but he didn’t want to be with her.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He caught a tear that escaped her eyes, then kissed her lips. “We’ll get it back, I promise. I’ll make you love me again.”

I know you will
, Reanna thought sadly, lowering her eyes to his chin. She couldn’t look him in the eyes while she felt so bad, so stupid. Though she knew it was possible for him to make her love him again, she knew deep in her heart that she’d still always feel the ache of never having the man she truly wanted.

See, everything was complicated.

“You know,” he murmured, recapturing her attention, “whenever I was working overseas, on days when I missed you …” He released a long breath and shook his head. “Some days I missed you so much I could barely think, Rea. And on those days, I’d break our rule, and go online to those sites devoted to your parents.”

Frowning disapprovingly, she shook her head. He knew better than to do that. That had been Reanna’s only rule.

He quickly explained himself though, his hand tightening at her waist as he did. “Only on the days when I missed you the most, babe. And you have to understand, I took our break up really hard.”

Reanna softened toward him, then nodded her head. “I took it hard, too.” Pretty much fell into a depression, convinced herself that she’d never love again … and that she’d die an old spinster surrounded by a hundred adoring cats and one colorful bird named Fruit Loop.

“And I remember that I’d journeyed to the Infopedia site because I knew they always updated the small part about you and your sister, and to my surprise, your name was lit up.” He smiled. “When I put my cursor to it a big picture of you popped up, so I clicked on it. You had your own page, Reanna, with all these accomplishments listed, and it had only been two years.”

Reanna laughed softly. Yes, it was true. She had an Infopedia page now. What could she say; she’d risen to the top fast.

“When I left you were just an apprentice for a photographer.” He shook his head. “I had never been more proud in my life, babe. I’m so serious. I was proud,” his eyes fell to her lips, “and I was turned on.”

This was one of those times when Reanna thanked God that Braden couldn’t see her blush.

“I was so … awed by you, I still am.” The slow kiss that followed his words sent a small wave of pleasure rippling slowly through her body.

It felt so nice.

She felt him inhale a breath against her lips before he whispered, “How could I not still love a woman so amazing, so perfect?”

She wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t hate him for thinking she was … well, at least not in this moment she didn’t.

Cupping the back of his head before he could pull away, Reanna arched upward, and kissed him hard. She didn’t want to talk anymore, there was no need to. He’d gotten her—consider her thoroughly convinced of his heart’s genuine love for her. Now, she wanted him. Not only that, but she needed to feel his closeness, his touch, anything that would take her mind off of everything and everyone but him.

Though he began to pull back a bit, probably to say something else, Reanna’s insistence eventually made him forget whatever it was that he was going to say. She closed her eyes, trying her best to become lost, and trying even harder to force herself to say the two words that would possibly set her free.

Come in …

That was all she had to say to him. If she said that, then maybe she and Braden really would be starting over, working toward something real again. All she had to do was say it
. Say the words, Reanna.

Pulling back from him abruptly, Reanna looked into his hazy, passion-filled eyes. “Braden,” she breathed, finally feeling comfortable enough to say her next words, “I want you to—”

The words had been right on the tip of her tongue.
Come in
… But she couldn’t say them.

“Want me to what, babe?”

The hopeful light in his eyes dimmed almost immediately after Reanna pulled back from him even more, gave his chest a light pat, and finished her sentence with, “Have a good night.”

Reanna stepped out of her beautiful, big bathtub with a satisfied smile dancing on her lips. There was honestly nothing better than having a nice hot bubble bath after a long day of dealing with a horny ex, mixed emotions, and chronic separation anxiety. It relaxed her immensely … well, that and the three glasses of wine she’d just consumed in their entirety.

Either way, a nice long soak, and three
extra-large
glasses of wine, could leave a woman feeling both relaxed, and a little tipsy.

Sighing happily, she looked around her big, empty, beautiful bathroom, admiring how lovely it was to be in her home, alone, spending time with her expensive bathtub.

When she’d first bought this house for herself, her sister, and Ronaldo she’d pulled rank as the richest person in the family, and had stolen this bedroom for herself because of the bathroom and tub. And this wasn’t just any tub either, it was freaking incredible. The perfect size to more than accommodate all of her voluptuous sexiness. Hell, she could even fit another person in there with her if she liked.