Dance Into Destiny (6 page)

H
ours had passed when Shara and Lakita approached the nurses' station in the ER for the fifth time. The nurse sitting there knitted her eyebrows and pursed her lips. Shara guessed she was sick of seeing her face because she snatched up the phone. “Let me see if I can get the doctor to come out and give you an update.”

A few minutes later, a middle-aged man wearing a long white coat over his hospital scrubs came out to the nurses' station. “Ms. Madison? I'm Doctor Reisen. Your daughter will be fine. We were initially concerned she was having an ectopic because of the severity of her pain, but after a pelvic and transvaginal ultrasound, we were able to determine that she did, in fact, have an intrauterine pregnancy and has had a complete spontaneous abortion.

“She lost quite a bit of blood but her hematocrit is stable and she shouldn't require a transfusion. We'll be observing her a little longer to make sure she doesn't have any retained products, but she should be fine to go home this evening. You'll need to consider putting her on some form of contraception so this doesn't happen again. We would be glad to give her a Depo-Provera shot before she leaves. Just let one of the nurses know.” He rattled off the information and then walked away as abruptly as he came.

Shara turned to the nurse still sitting there. “Could you give that to us in English?”

The nurse smiled sympathetically. “Sorry about that. He gets in a hurry when the ER is busy. Basically, your daughter had a miscarriage, and based on the ultrasound, everything came out on its own so she won't need any surgery. She bled a lot, but won't need a blood transfusion. We need to watch her a little while longer to make sure everything is okay. The doctor suggested a birth control shot. Have you ever talked to your daughter about birth control?”

Shara shook her head. “She's not my daughter. I'm her track coach.”

“Has anyone notified her mother or guardian?” the nurse asked.

Shara shook her head. She had been so worried, she hadn't even thought about calling Tangee's mother. “No, I'll call her now.” She sent Lakita to see Tangee while she pulled out her youth roster. The nurse directed her to a pay phone at the end of the hall and she dialed Tangela's mother's work number.

An unfriendly voice barked, “Housekeeping, may I help you?”

“Yes, I'm trying to reach Angela Madison please,” Shara said.

Shara pulled the phone away from her ear as she heard the person yell, “Where Angie at?”

In the background, Shara heard a voice yell back, “She on break—'sposed to be fifteen minutes, but it's been twenty-five already.” The person repeated the information to Shara and was about to hang up.

“Wait, it's an emergency! I'm at the hospital with her daughter. Can you find her please?”

“Oh Lawd, what done happened to Tangela? What that child into now? These kids these days always up to no good. Is she all right? Angie always be talking 'bout how Tangee won't—”

“Please! Can you just find her mother?”

“Well, you ain't got to be rude about it. I'm just trying to show a little concern. Hol'on.”

Shara pulled the phone away from her ear again as the woman yelled even louder, “Angie, you need to come on back in here and get dis phone. Tangee at the hospital. It's a 'mergency.”

After a few moments, Shara recognized Ms. Madison's voice in the background. She heard a string of curse words and then, “What is it now, Tangee?”

It took Shara a few seconds to respond.

While trying to figure out what to say, she heard, “Hello? Ain't nobody on this phone, Thelma. Stop playing. That ain't funny.”

Shara made herself say, “Ms. Madison, this is Shara Anderson, Tangee's track coach. We're at Atlanta Medical Center in the emergency room. I think you should—”

“What is it? What's wrong with her?” Ms. Madison almost sounded concerned.

“She started bleeding at track practice today.” Shara took a deep breath. “She had a miscarriage.”

Silence.

“What you mean, she had a miscarriage?”

“She lost the baby, Ms. Madison.”

Shara pulled the phone away from her ear as Ms. Madison screamed, “Baby? What baby? You telling me Tangee pregnant?”

As she continued yelling and cursing into the phone, Shara realized Tangee hadn't told her mother. Listening to her, she could understand why. “Tangee said she told you. She is . . . well she
was
pregnant. She lost the baby.”

“No, Tangee didn't tell me nothing about being pregnant. You mean
you
knew she was pregnant and didn't tell me?”

Shara's heart beat faster. What ramifications would this have for her program? Was she liable for not having talked to Tangee's mother?

“I think at this point, the most important thing is Tangee's okay. She lost a lot of blood but the doctor says she's stable. I think it would be good if you came on down here to the hospital and—”

“Oh you
think
, huh? I'll be at the hospital all right. As soon as I finish my shift. You tell that little heifer when I see her—it's
on
. Me and her. Done told that child all her life. . . .”

Shara pulled the phone away from her ear and smoothed her hair back. This was going to be a long evening.

She hung up and went back toward the busy emergency area. There must have been a lot going on in Atlanta that night because the ER was packed. Orderlies were rushing by with gurneys holding patients that looked like they were at death's door. The overhead intercom kept ordering different doctors to different rooms. There were even people lined up on beds in the hallway.

Shara pulled back the little privacy curtain to Tangee's room. She walked over and sat on the side of the gurney and looked at Tangee's tear-streaked face. Lakita sat quietly in a chair next to her.

“Well, Miss Shara, at least I don't have to have a abortion now.” Tangee wouldn't look at her.

Shara smoothed Tangee's hair back. “You okay?”

A few tears slid down Tangee's face, as she shook her head.

“Are you in pain?”

She shook her head again. “She's gonna make me go live with my grandmother down in the country. Ain't nothing to do and the people all dumb. All my grandmother do is make me go to church and I don't get to have
no
fun.” More tears flowed down her face. “The schools ain't no good. I'll never get to go to college now.”

“Maybe not, Tangee. We'll talk to her and see—”

Tangee sat up. “Don't try to talk to her, Miss Shara. She don't listen to nobody and it'll only make things worse. She ain't gonna change her mind. I might as well pack my bags now. Goodbye track program, goodbye college, goodbye future.”

Shara tried to tell her that everything would be okay, but Tangee kept shaking her head. “You don't know my momma,” was all she would say.

The three of them sat there in silence for a while. Tangee fell asleep and Shara nodded off in the chair next to her bed.

The nurse kept coming back to check on them. She finally said the ER was busy and they would need the room soon. Tangee was going to be discharged, so if her mother didn't come soon, they would have to sit in the waiting area. Tangee put her clothes back on from her gym bag Lakita had grabbed before they left the church.

As they were about to leave, the curtain flew back. Ms. Madison came in, still in her housekeeping uniform. “Tangee! If I didn't think the people in this hospital would call Child Protective Services on me, I'd beat your tail right here in this room. All the times we talked about this? All you had to do was come to me. We woulda got you some birth control and all this wouldn't have happened. But you had to go sneakin' around behind my back with one of those li'l knucklehead boys.”

Tangee burst into tears. “I'm sorry, momma. I didn't mean to—”

“Didn't mean to what? Have sex? Or get caught 'cause you got pregnant? I always told you, Tangee. It only takes one time. All these years, did you ever hear anything I said?”

“Yes, momma, I'm sorry, momma. I promise I'll listen from now on, momma, whatever you say.”

“From now on? Oh no, Miss Fast-tail, ain't no ‘from now on'. You know what this means. You going to live with your grandma, now. Let's see if she can do anything with you, 'cause I'm tired. You need to be down in the country to keep your li'l hot tail outta trouble. You can go to church with your grandma every day. Maybe her Jesus can do something to help you.”

She huffed and paced around the little room, then came back to face Tangee. She was clearly oblivious to the fact that there was another patient on the other side of the curtain. “I work everyday to provide for you and this is what you do? Why ain't you go to County? I ain't got no insurance and I ain't got no money for no foolishness like this. You think I go to work to pay for hospital bills for some foolishness?”

Shara tried to come to Tangee's defense. “Ms. Madison, I—”

Ms. Madison whipped around to face Shara with pure fire in her eyes. “I don't want to hear nothing you got to say. You call yourself running a program to help these kids? Well, look like ain't nothing you doing working.”

She looked Shara up and down. “I don't know who you think you are, trying to tell me how to raise my child. Have you fed her? Clothed her? Dealt with her mess? I bet you ain't even got no kids, so what you know about raisin' one? You one of them educated Negroes. Done read a book so now you think you can tell me how to raise my child. She probably got pregnant while she was supposed to be at your track program. Shoulda had her fast tail come home everyday like she used to, but nooo—she had to run track and Miss Shara this and Miss Shara that.”

She turned back to Tangee. “We'll see about that. Let's see how much track your grandma gon' let you run. Now git your stuff together. Let's go.”

Shara spoke softly, not wanting to induce another tirade. “Do you need a ride home?”

Ms. Madison glared at Shara. “We don't need your help no more. Don't come around my house and don't call. Just leave us alone.”

Shara started to say something again, but decided against it. She walked out of the room with her shoulders sagging and head down. Lakita followed her.

Shara turned to her. “I'll take you home.”

“I'm all right, Miss Shara.” Lakita held up her MARTA bus pass. “Why don't you go on home and get some rest.”

“No, it's late. Anything could happen to you.”

“Please.” Lakita put on her tough face. “You think anybody gon' bother me?” She smiled. “Really, I'll be all right. You go on home.”

Shara didn't have the energy to protest any further. She watched Lakita walk away.

She sat on a bench in the hallway. After a few minutes, her shoulders shook silently as she cried from deep in her belly. That old feeling she had those years as a teacher resurfaced. No matter how hard she tried, it wasn't enough. No matter how much she prayed for and loved these kids, life had a way of snatching them back into darkness and despair. Now what was going to happen to Tangee?

Shara felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Lakita standing there with a tissue in her hand. She accepted it and wiped her face.

Lakita barely spoke above a whisper, “It's not your fault, Miss Shara. You do right by us.” She patted her on the shoulder. “Don't give up on us, okay?”

Shara nodded. They shared a silent moment and Lakita walked away again.

Shara finally got up and walked down the long hospital corridor and out to the parking lot. The cool crispness of the March night air whipped against her cheeks. She pulled her jean jacket tighter and quickened her steps until she got to the van.

She didn't feel like going home. After she traded the church van for her car, she drove up to an old, large house in Grant Park, rang the doorbell and waited. She heard footsteps and saw Mother Hobbs peering through the window.

The door opened. “Child, what are you doing here? It's after midnight.” Mother Hobbs took one look at Shara's face and led her into the house. She sat her down at the kitchen table.

“What is it, child? What happened?”

Fresh tears poured down Shara's face as she told Mother Hobbs about the miscarriage and all the blood and how scared she had been. She told about how Tangee's mother acted on the phone and at the hospital—how she had blamed her. “And now I've lost Tangee forever,” Shara sobbed.

Mother Hobbs put her arms around her, rocking her and smoothing her hair. “My poor baby girl.” She patted her on the back. “Saving the world is hard work, huh?”

Shara laughed a little between sniffles and accepted the napkin Mother Hobbs gave her to blow her nose.

Mother Hobbs walked over to the kitchen counter and started fiddling with her large canisters. Shara knew she was mixing some herbs together to make one of her infamous pots of tea. Mother Hobbs hummed silently, no doubt preparing the words of wisdom Shara would need to deal with the evening's events. Shara rested her back against the wooden chair, calmed slightly by the humming.

A few minutes later, a medicinal fragrance of plants and flowers drifted into the air. Mother Hobbs poured two steaming cups and brought them over to the table with some shortbread cookies.

“What happened to Tangee is not your fault. All you can do is pray that the good you put into her stays with her—that she'll continue to dream and even with everything that's happened, she'll still get to go to college.”