Damaged Love (Bound Series Book 2) (14 page)

It was not your fault

Damn it

Why couldn’t you just talk to me?

Now you are gone

And here I am

Facing the demons

I thought

I had conquered

Time heals all

Or so they say

For me time only mends

The cracks of my broken soul

To truly be free

From all of this

I need to tell you

I forgive you

I forgive them

I forgive me

I am closing the door

I won't look back

I hope that peace finds you

Wherever you may be

I close my journal and walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. I place my hands on my stomach and whisper, “I already love you.”

I get in the bed because the day has been an emotional one. I lost the man who raised me, and then I find out I am carrying the love of my life’s child. It isn’t long before I fall into a sound sleep.

I wake up to the smell of someone cooking eggs, and I haul ass to the bathroom to toss my cookies. The smell is killing me. When I think I’ve emptied my stomach, I stand and wash my face and brush my teeth to hide the evidence.

I go downstairs, and see my family laughing and talking.

I hear Rodney in the office on the phone, and I walk in there to check on him.

“Hey Rodney, what’s up?”

“Well, Millie made bond and she has a court date after the New Year. The coroner and the morgue called to ask if you had thoughts on what to do with Seth.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t even think about what would happen, but shouldn’t Millie make that decision?”

“No, the will was changed last month, and you are his next of kin.”

“I have no idea what he would want. I think we should cremate him and have a small service.”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll call them. I think it’s a good idea because I know how hard it was for you to see him.”

“Yes, it was hard. I won’t lie. I’ve never had to make any decisions like this, so I hope they’re right. Can you make all the arrangements for me, Rodney?”

“Yes Kayla, I can. I will ask your opinion each step of the way.”

“Thank you for everything you do for me.”

“You are so welcome. You are family, and we take care of our own.”

“You are so right.”

Over the next few days, Christmas is in full swing at my house. Somehow my living room has turned into Santa’s drop off. There are so many presents under the tree that you can’t even see the floor. I have never seen so many. There are gifts for everyone under the tree. All sizes and shapes. The stockings are full, the house smells amazing. We have thrown a couple of pine cones into the fire.

Before we know it, it’s Christmas. I am so excited to give Garrett his gift. He has several, but I am most excited about the little thin box. Over the next couple of hours we have a fabulous dinner, with all the trimmings. Wyatt cooked this time. His ham was amazing. It had pineapple and cherries on top. He made ranch mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, fried green beans, and he made this mac and cheese that had seven different kinds of cheese. I was in heaven. I had three plates of food. I was starving. After dinner it’s time for presents.

I have waited all my life to experience a feeling like I am feeling right now. The gifts are exchanged, and there is paper everywhere. I see everyone has a pile of gifts. I tell Garrett there is one present in the tree that he has to find.

“What do you mean there’s a present in the tree?”

“Exactly what I said, doll, and look in the tree.”

“Okay, let me see what we have here.”

He gets up and searches all over the tree. I see him reach into the tree, and he pulls out a slender box. I get my phone ready.

“Babe, why do you have your phone out?”

“No reason. Just open your gift.”

He slowly opens the box and the house is quiet. You could hear a pin drop. He opens the box, and I see him look down, then at me, and once more at the box.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Well, it depends on what you think it is.”

“I think this stick is telling me I’m going to be a daddy.”

“Would you be okay if that is what it’s saying?”

“Kayla, I’d be over the moon. So don’t kid around with me, is this your way of telling me that we are going to be parents?”

He comes over and grabs me and pulls me up. “Babe I am serious, are we going to be parents? Have you given me my greatest wish?”

“Well I didn’t do it on my own.”

Patrice jumps up and looks over her shoulder and screams, “I’m going to be a grandma!”

“Yes babe that is what it is. We’re going to be parents. Are you okay with this?”

His silence makes me cry.

“No honey, please don’t cry. I’m excited. I’ve always wanted kids and now you’re giving me a child.”

He scoops me into his arms and kisses me.

“And you said I gave you the best present. VI says”

“Your present was second best to the present I just got”

Garrett is kissing and tears are running down my face.

We hear, “Hey now, that’s how you got pregnant.”

We start laughing, and I am still crying.

“Babe, why are you crying?”

“I’m so happy. Are you still going to love me when I’m fat?”

“Honey, I can’t wait to see your round belly. I will love you even when you are round because you are carrying my child.

“Garrett Winters you did not answer the question. I said are you going to love me when I am fat.”

“I did answer, but I’d never call you fat. You could weigh a ton and I’d think you are perfect.”

“I am far from perfect. I am Damaged and I have been Broken.”

“Kay listen to me I will love you for a thousand years. I love you and it’s because of your past. And yes you were Broken and you may be Damaged but you are fixing yourself. And even a broken girl can be fixed.”

***

Before long Christmas is over, and it’s New Year’s Eve. Tonight is Wyatt’s Masquerade Ball. Everyone is decked out. It is a black tie affair, but you have to have a mask. I ordered our masks around Thanksgiving.

My dress is a floor length with an open back. It had a slit on my thigh. You could just barely see the top of my garter. My hair is done to perfection, and so is my make-up. Of course VI dressed me. I have not started to show yet, I don’t even know how far along I am. Wyatt has ordered all bar staff to make sure there is non-alcoholic drinks for me, which is fine because that means I can drink all the cute girlie drinks because they all come non-alcoholic.

Garrett is wearing a kick-ass patterned black and white mask and is dress in black like me.

VI has a purple mask that matches her purple and black dress, and Wyatt has on a half covering mask on his left side in a black grey tone. He has a purple shirt and black slacks.

He took tonight off to spend their first New Year’s Eve as a couple and to celebrate that we are all back together and inseparable.

I am dancing with Garrett and we are next to VI and Wyatt who are also dancing to an oldie but goody, Mariah Carey
Always Be My Baby.
As we are dancing and being held close to our men, I finally feel that life is as it should be. For once things are going my way.

The next thing I know I am being ushered outside, and it is freezing cold.

Wyatt has the peer closed off, and I see why. There is a hot-air balloon on it. Garrett takes my hand and leads me to it. He helps me in, not saying much other than it’s our first New Year’s, and he thinks it should be our most memorable.

When we are settled in the balloon, I look at my watch and see it’s eleven-fifty. We float high above the bay as the fireworks begin.

I turn in Garrett’s arms right before midnight. I want to tell him how beautiful and breathtaking it is.

From up here, he drops to one knee and opens a ring box.

“Kayla, I have been in love with since the first night we spent in St. James. There has never been another that could compare to how I feel for you. Please make my lifelong dream a reality and say you will be my forever and always and that you will share your life with me. Will you be my once in a lifetime?”

I am speechless, and all I could do was nod my head with the biggest smile on my face. Our lips meet, and we hear the screams of midnight.

Yes, this year will be so much better than the past years of my life.

We land the balloon after a nice romantic ride down the bay to see the fireworks. By the time it lands, my family is there waiting to see the ring. I had not even looked at it until now, and I see it’s a pink diamond like I wanted.

I am over the moon happy. For the first time in my life, I can say I am completely happy.

EPILOGUE

It has been a crazy few weeks. The holidays have come and gone. And my house is getting somewhat back to normal. Well as normal as it can be with all the construction going on.  I wanted a big huge elaborate wedding, but with all the shit going on with the all the deaths. And never knowing what Millie was going to do. I told Garrett that we needed to just elope.

“Honey, it will be perfect no matter how we get married. As long as you are there, I will be fine.”

He smiles and kisses my head. He has this look about him that says I am up to something, but I can’t put my finger on it.

“Garrett, honey what are you up too?”

“Me, nothing.” He says smiling at me.

I go about my business because right now I can’t focus on him.

He hollers down the hall to be ready to go in an hour.

“An hour? Where are we going? And you know I need longer than an hour.”

“I’m telling you to be ready in an hour. And I am not telling you.”

I get up and go look in the mirror and do my make-up. I have no idea what he is planning so I go natural. I make an oval with my mouth and open my eyes to put on my mascara. My lashes are thick so it don’t take much to make them stand out. I put on some light pink lip gloss. And just a smidge of blush.

I toss my make-up bag in my purse. I walk over to my closet, since he gave me no ideas of what we are doing, I grab a pair of skinny jeans and a sexy one shoulder top. I grab my six inch fuck me heels.  I walk over to the dresser and grab a pair of the sexy panties that Garrett bought me for Christmas. These are white with light blue bows along the sides. I grab the matching bra. I spray some Wings perfume in the air and walk through. I get dressed and look in the mirror. I look over my shoulder and see Garrett standing there staring at me.

“See something you like big boy?”

“Oh yeah very much so? And I will explore it all later, but right now we have to go.”

“Why are you rushing me?”

“No reason, other than we have plans. But you are not going to know about them.”

I watch as he takes a blind fold out of his pockets.

“Excuse me. What are you doing?”

“Kay, have faith in me please. I want to surprise you and this is the only way I can do it.”

“Oh I have faith in you Mr. Winters but I don’t know about this surprise.”

He grabs, my hand and kisses my knuckles.

“You will be fine, just listen to the sound of my voice.”

“Okay, I will trust you but you better not do something that is going to scare me, because if that is the case we aren’t having sex till the baby is born.”

“Kayla I swear you will love it.”

“I better.”

He is guiding me through the house. I hear bags being gathered.

“Garrett, who all is here? I hear more than one person.”

“Don’t worry about it Kay, just listen for once in your life. No questions. Just enjoy.”

He grabs my hand, and I know we are close to the front door, as I hear the alarm code being punched in.

Soon I am being placed in the beast and he says, “You need to wear the headphones as well. I want the music so loud I can hear it in the driver’s seat.”

He places the ear buds on my ears and immediately I am being blasted with Uptown Funk. I sit back and relax.

I feel him latch my seatbelt and start the engine.

We ease onto the road, and it don’t take long and we are at our destination.

I feel him unlatch my seat belt. And he takes my music away.

“Can I take off the blind-fold now?”

“No, leave it on.”

“Yes sir.”

“I can get used to the sir stuff, ma’am.”

“Yeah, well, if I don’t like this surprise, you are going to get used to your hand.”

“Dang Kay, that is harsh.”

“No, you know I don’t like to be scared. And there better not be anything that will jump out at me.”

“Okay, I promise.”

He takes me hand and leads me into a cool building. I smell candles and flowers, but I can’t place my finger on where we are.

I feel the cool breeze as a door open. And then the mask is taken off my face. It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust. And when they do, I see I’m at St. James Church.

“Babe, what are we doing here?”

His face lights up and he says, “I know you said that we could elope, and you would be fine with that. But when we are old and gray I did not want you to have regrets. So I have planned everything. From the dress to your flowers.”

“But how did you know?” I say crying.

“Honey, I know you. I know that yes, you would have been okay with quick wedding, but deep down you would have regretted not having the whole church wedding, so Vi and Patrice have been planning this since before Christmas.”

“Are you fucking serious? How did you all plan this?”

“I have connections. Now go in that room and get ready. I will be the one at the end of the isle waiting on you.”

***

I walk into the room and look at VI standing there.

“You asshole you knew.”

“Yes, babe, I did, but I was sworn to not say anything.”

“So, tell me what I am going to be wearing since you’ve picked everything out, ma’am.”

“Your dress is over there, hanging on the hanger.”

I walk over to the hanger and unzip the garment bag. I pull out a blush colored dress, and I gasp. It is the dress I looked at over Thanksgiving when I ordered the masks for the ball.

This dress is stunning. It is a ball-gown style dress. It has a fitted bodice that comes in at the waist and then flares out to a full, floor-length skirt with lots of volume for a more formal and traditional bridal look. I also have a Tiara. That has pink diamonds all over. I see I also have a pair of what look to be pink glass slippers.

My flower bouquet is what I pictured in my head. It is called La Vie en Rose Bouquet. Tiny butter-yellow tea roses provide the perfect foil for the myriad shades of pink found in these garden roses, spidery jasmine buds, and scabiosas with their pincushion centers.

I get into the dress with VI’s help. She does my hair in a fancy up-do with wisps of hair hanging down.

“Vi, will you ask Patrice to come in here for a minute?”

“Sure, babe. I’ll be right back.”

I am looking at myself in the mirror, and I see my mom walk in. She looks beautiful. She has on a light pink formal dress. She looks like a million bucks. I have never seen her so stunning.

“Awe, baby, you look gorgeous.”

“Thank you, Mom. I don’t know how you and Vi did it, but you have picked things out that were only in my mind.”

“We know you, Kay, and we knew you would regret not having the church wedding.”

“Thank you so much for doing this.”

“It was no problem at all, sweetheart. We love you.”

“I love you all so much. Do you think Rodney would walk me down the aisle?”

“I think he would be honored.”

“Actually, I want you both to walk me down the aisle, if that’s okay.”

“Oh baby, you made my life complete. Thank you for accepting me as your mom.”

“I couldn’t ask for a better person to be my mom. I am sorry I was so hurt when I found out.”

“It’s in the past, Kay. You have a future to look forward to.”

I wipe a tear off my face, and she comes and gives me my first hug as her as my mom.

“Ladies it’s time.” I hear Rodney say.

He walks in the door and gasps, “Kayla, you are so beautiful. Garrett is a lucky man.”

“Rodney, will you please walk me down the aisle along with my mom?”

“Oh, Kay, I would love to. Thank you for asking me. You’ve made my night.”

Before long the music starts and I know that is my cue. Vi is down the aisle in just a few minutes. They open the doors and my eyes are filled with tears. The church has never looked more beautiful.

With Rodney on my left side and my mom on the right they walk me down the aisle to A Thousand Years by Christina Perri. It don’t take long and I see my soon to be groom standing there looking at me. He has a tear in his eye and he don’t even bother to wipe it away.

“You look beautiful,” he whispers.

The priest asks who gives this woman to this man.

Patrice and Rodney both say I do.

He gives my hand to Garrett, and I see Wyatt standing beside him.

I am crying as the priest is talking. I don’t remember anything he said till he said it’s time for the Vows.

“Garret, will you please tell Kayla what is in your heart?”

“I believe in you, the person you will grow to be and the couple we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my wife, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family's love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my person—my love and my life, today and always."

I wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face.

He gently reaches over and wipes a tear that I missed.

“Kayla, will you please tell Garrett what he means to you?”

“You have been my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant, and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible... You have made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. On this day, I give you my heart, my promise, that I will walk with you, hand in hand. Wherever our journey leads us, living, learning, loving together, forever.”

And we don’t even wait for him to pronounce us as husband and wife. He has me bent backwards and is kissing me like there is no tomorrow.

“Garrett you have made me the happiest person in the world.”

I rub my belly.

***

I am now showing, as I am about five months along. Garrett says that I am beautiful. I tell him he is only saying that to get in my pants. He laughs and kisses my belly. He sings to my belly every night. I will wake up in the middle of the night, and he is talking to our peanut.

“Babe, I have news for you.”

“Oh, yeah? What is it?”

“I bet I can still shock you.”

“Let’s see.”

“We’re having twins.”

“Don’t joke with me.”

“Honey, I swear on all things pink, we’re having two babies.”

He scoops me up and kisses me. The kiss turn to raw passion.

“Babe, please make love to me.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice, but are you sure it’s safe for the babies?”

“Yes it’s safe. I asked the doctor.”

I kiss down his neck and across his collar bone. I kiss down his stomach and lick the V in his hips. I unbutton his jeans and his cock jumps free into my hand. I slide my hands down his cock. I hear him hiss. He pushes me onto the bed. Starts at my feet and kisses all the way up my legs. Within seconds, he is inside me. He stops for just a minute to allow me to stretch to fit him. He starts slowly and it doesn’t take long before my toes are curling, and I am screaming out his name. A few minutes later he is moaning my name as well.

He lays his head on my stomach and whispers, “Daddy loves you.”

Please keep an eye out for Searching for Love, book three in the Bound Series. {Violet and Wyatt Story}