Damaged Goods (25 page)

Kelsey shook her head. ‘No more, Max.’

‘This is the last one, I swear.’

‘How many times did you say that to Mum?’ she said.

He put his hands up in acceptance. ‘That was different. This time it’s for real. One more and I’m out of here.’

‘No, Max, this stops right now.’ She opened her arms to encompass the videos and equipment. ‘Get rid of this lot and leave.’

He nodded vigorously. ‘That’s my plan, baby, burn everything just as soon as this last one is over.’

They stared at one another, Kelsey’s eyes full of anger and hate, Max trying to work out how best to get through to her.

‘I’m getting a lot for this,’ he said. ‘Serious dough.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘And I’m gonna split it with you,’ he said. ‘Give a share to you and the babies now your mum ain’t here to look after you.’

Her eyes didn’t waver, not even a flicker. ‘I can’t let you do it.’

Max cocked his head to one side. ‘Meaning?’

‘You know exactly what I mean.’

Their eyes locked together, both refusing to look away.

‘People like us never grass,’ he said.

‘Don’t push me, Max. I never said a word before cos of Mum, but she ain’t here any more.’

‘And what do you think she’d say if she was?’

Kelsey didn’t answer, so Max answered his own question.

‘She’d say let him get this out of the way and it’ll be finished for all of us.’

The fire in Kelsey’s eyes extinguished and she turned towards the door.

‘This will never be finished.’

Faced with the sight of number 58, Lilly felt cold. The drive to the Clayhill Estate had been fuelled by the need to find Kelsey, and Lilly had not even considered how she would feel returning to the place where she’d been attacked. Now that the door was in front of her, she was frightened.

‘You okay?’ asked Miriam.

‘It’s just a place,’ said Lilly, but she didn’t move.

Miriam patted Lilly’s arm. ‘You stay here. I’ll check whether she’s inside.’

Miriam passed in front of Lilly and opened the door. The corridor was as empty and dark as it had been on the night Max had forced her inside.

‘
I’m your worst fucking nightmare
.’

It was still too hot for more than a T-shirt but Lilly was freezing, each muscle shaking, sweat pouring down her back.

She saw the knife coming towards her.

‘
I’m your worst fucking nightmare
.’

What if he was there now? Her friend would be chopped to pieces. She tried to warn Miriam but once again she was paralysed by fear, the sound of her heartbeat resounding like thunder in her ears.

Miriam was now at the end of the hall, moving nearer and nearer to danger. Lilly opened her mouth to scream, willing the sound from the pit of her stomach, but nothing came and Lilly was forced to watch Miriam disappear into the bedroom.

A few seconds went by, maybe four, maybe five. Enough time for Miriam to check the room and leave. Enough time to be forced down onto the bed and bled like a halal goat.

‘
I’m your worst fucking nightmare
.’

‘No, you bastard, I’m yours.’

Lilly hurled herself into the hall and ran towards the bedroom. She threw open the door and looked wildly around the room trying to make out the shapes in the dark. At last she saw two figures on the bed. One was Miriam, who appeared unhurt and had her arm around the other. When her eyes became accustomed to the gloom Lilly could see it was Kelsey.

‘It’s all right, you’re safe now,’ whispered Miriam. At first Lilly thought the words of comfort were directed at her, but now she could see Miriam was speaking to Kelsey. ‘I know you’re frightened and you think you’ve come to the end of the road, but I’m here.’

Miriam pushed Kelsey’s hair off her face and held it in her hands. ‘My son was just like you. His name was Lewis and he thought he had no one to turn to, nowhere to go.’

Lilly swallowed a sob at the raw intensity of her friend’s grief.

‘He thought he couldn’t trust me,’ said Miriam, ‘and I will never forgive myself for that.’

So this was how Miriam felt. When all the jokes and bravado were pushed aside she was still completely bereft. Lilly would feel the same if it were Sam.

She breathed in a huge lungful of air. ‘Miriam, don’t.’

Miriam continued to look deep into Kelsey’s eyes as if Lilly hadn’t spoken.

‘Every day of my life I turn it over and over in my mind. What could I have done? How could I have stopped him? And the conclusion I come to is always the same. I could have stopped running around like a headless chicken, doing this and doing that, and taken the time to listen.’

Lilly could bear it no longer. If she couldn’t distract Miriam she’d engage with her client. ‘What are you doing here, Kelsey?’

It was a rhetorical question. Lilly didn’t imagine there was a simple answer, and anyway, she hadn’t given Kelsey the means to write anything down.

‘I wanted to be with my mum.’

The words hit Lilly like a punch. The voice, calm and clear, was neither Lilly’s nor Miriam’s. Kelsey had spoken.

Lilly kept her own tone neutral. Now was not the time for accusations. ‘When did your voice come back?’

‘Tonight. I went to see Max and it just came out,’ said Kelsey.

Lilly reeled backwards. ‘You went to see Max!’

‘I know Kelsey’s got to answer a lot of questions but now is not the right time. And here is definitely not the right place.’

It took Lilly a second to register that it was Miriam who had spoken, and she didn’t react until Miriam spoke again.

‘Let’s get her back to Leyland House before the police get here.’

When they arrived at the pretty cul-de-sac Lilly was surprised to see Sheba leaving Leyland House.

‘Just the woman,’ Lilly called. ‘I’ve got Kelsey here, and as soon as we’ve got her settled back in I need to ask her some questions. It would be fantastic if you could sit in.’

Sheba regarded Lilly coolly, her forehead pinched into a frown. ‘She can’t go back to Leyland House.’

Lilly felt winded, as much by Sheba’s frostiness as what she had actually said.

‘She has to, otherwise they’ll send her back to prison,’ Lilly managed.

Sheba shrugged. ‘I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about that.’

Lilly felt a flash of anger. These children weren’t dolls, you couldn’t just put them down when you got fed up of playing with them.

‘You have a responsibility to Kelsey.’

Sheba’s icy detachment left her as she too became angry. ‘Don’t you dare lecture me about responsibility. I worked my butt off to get Kelsey out of jail and I pulled a huge favour to get Kelsey a place here. Paul is absolutely furious.’

Paul Collins’ feelings were the least of Lilly’s concerns. ‘It’s supposed to be a place for damaged kids, so he needn’t get bent out of shape because one of them does something a bit loopy. I think he should expect it from time to time,’ she said sharply.

‘Correction, Lilly, this is supposed to be a
secure
place for damaged kids, and your bloody client has shown that’s not the case,’ said Sheba.

‘Can’t they just sort it out?’ asked Lilly, a lot less sure of her ground.

‘Yes, I’m sure they can, in time, but until then Leyland House can’t be considered secure,’ said Sheba.

Lilly gulped. ‘So what’s happened to the other children?’

‘They’ve been sent elsewhere,’ said Sheba with a sigh, her heat dissipating. ‘Listen, Lilly, I know none of this is your fault. I know it’s not Kelsey’s either. I’ll stand by my evidence that she needs special care, but until Leyland reopens I’m not sure how far it will get you.’

Lilly heaved herself back into the car. ‘She can’t go back there, it’s had to close.’

‘Close?’ asked Miriam.

‘Don’t sound so surprised. One of the patients managed to escape out of a window only minutes after she arrived.’

‘I’ll take her back to The Bushes,’ said Miriam.

‘It’s not secure, she’d be in breach of Blechard-Smith’s order,’ said Lilly.

‘I don’t care about a stupid piece of paper,’ said Miriam.

Lilly shook her head. ‘Don’t be absurd, you’d be sacked, and what would happen to all the other kids?’

Miriam’s shoulders sagged. ‘So what now?’

Lilly was out of ideas and pulled out her phone. ‘I’ll call Jack.’

They met him in the police-station car park.

‘Thanks for bringing her in,’ said Jack.

‘Not my idea,’ said Miriam with a degree of tetchiness that made Lilly worry that the evening’s events were sending her friend over the edge. The way Miriam had bared herself to Kelsey about Lewis had been so out of character that Lilly wasn’t sure what to expect next. She wanted to protect her friend but feared there might not be enough of her to go round.

She shook her head almost imperceptibly to warn Jack not to get into it with Miriam.

He ignored the crack and kept his tone casual. ‘We’ll keep her here tonight and let the judge decide what to do tomorrow morning.’ He put his arm around Kelsey. ‘Come on you, I expect you’re starving.’

‘I’ll see you in court, Kelsey,’ said Lilly.

‘Indeed you will,’ said Jack, and he led her inside.

Max was seriously spooked. He’d expected to have to track Kelsey down but she’d made the first move. Now his head was toast. What if she went to the police?

He’d always thought Kelsey was solid, that he didn’t have to worry about her, but he’d thought that about Gracie once upon a time. He was beginning to question his own judgement. Nah, Kelsey wasn’t as flaky as her mum, didn’t take drugs for a start, which made her a whole lot more predictable. She was pissed about the films but wouldn’t do anything about it. He knew where he was with Kelsey.

Then again, she didn’t even look like herself tonight. She’d looked just like Gracie. Maybe she was thinking like Gracie too. After all, he knew what happened to a person’s mind in jail.

He lit a joint and put his keys in the ignition. He didn’t normally drive and smoke. First, this was good weed that demanded to be enjoyed in comfort, preferably with a chilled soundtrack. Second, the old bill would smell it if he got pulled, even the fat traffic lemmings knew the smell of skunk these days.

But Kelsey had fucked with his karma and he’d had to use three rocks just to even himself out. Now he was jangling, his edges ragged. He never smoked in the car but tonight he made an exception.

By the time he reached the clinic his mind was muddled and his fears had taken hold. Kelsey being on the out was bad news. It would end with them all getting caught, just as Gracie had predicted.

Max had done time before. Short stretches here and there for small stuff, but he’d hated every minute of it, banged up with some psycho or a smackhead doing his rattle, screaming into the darkness. There was no way he could go down for this. Years in Belmarsh would finish him off.

Then, when everyone found out what he was in for – and you could be sure the screws would put it about – he’d have every lowlife robber and arsonist on his back. The only safety would be in the VP wing with the other nonces. No way, man. He couldn’t do time for this.

From the outside the place seemed to be in darkness. Only one window glowed with a pale light, which Max assumed came from a lamp. He imagined Barrows alone in the room, like a worm hidden in an apple. His stomach lurched when he realised the light must emanate not from a lamp but from the television. The pervert was watching one of his tapes.

Barrows buzzed him up.

‘What’s going on?’ he shouted as soon as Max opened the door.

To his relief Max saw the television was off, and Barrows was illuminated by the screen of his computer. It cast his face in a sickly green.

Barrows lowered his voice but his tone remained threatening. ‘I asked what’s going on.’

‘I’m calling it off, man,’ said Max.

Barrows breathed through his nose as if trying to contain himself but Max saw his fists open and close. ‘You can’t do that.’

Max shrugged. ‘I can and I am.’

Barrows leaped to his feet. ‘I’ve paid.’

Max threw a crumpled envelope onto the other man’s desk. ‘It’s a little bit short. I’ll sort the rest out in the next couple of days.’

For a moment both men stared into each other’s eyes. Max willed himself not to be the first to lower his gaze and was pleased when Barrows sank back into his chair and dropped his head into his hands.

‘Weak, weak, they are all weak,’ he said, apparently to himself.

At last he raised his head and levelled Max once again in his eye-line. His eyes seemed to Max to be entirely empty, hypnotically so.

‘What do you want more than anything else?’ asked Barrows.

Max answered without thinking. ‘To escape.’

Barrows closed his eyes again as if contemplating his response, and Max cursed himself for giving anything away.

‘And where would you go?’ asked Barrows.

‘America.’ Max wondered again why he was telling this piece of filth anything.

‘Very well,’ said Barrows. ‘If you bring the girl tomorrow, I will bring you a plane ticket to New York.’

‘LA,’ said Max.

The suspicion of a smile played on Barrows’ lips and he put the envelope back into Max’s pocket. ‘LA it is.’

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Tuesday, 22 September

The journey to London was very different from the one Lilly had made only two days earlier. She had neither hangover nor headache. She had collected the black trouser suit from the dry-cleaner’s, the one that everyone said made her look slim, and had teamed it with her embroidered scarf. It covered the ugly scab that was forming on her throat and it reminded her of Rupes. Who could argue with that?

She found a seat immediately and the train sailed into town, depositing Lilly at Blackfriars with sufficient time to buy a coffee from Starbucks. She sauntered to court sipping hot froth through the plastic spout of the cup. It always made her feel deliciously cosmopolitan. Lilly laughed at herself – so unsophisticated, so easy to please. You could take the girl out of Yorkshire …

When she rounded the corner Lilly saw that Jez was waiting for her outside the Old Bailey, dwarfed by the uniformity of the exterior. His gorgeous face was the only point of interest in the vast expanse of grey.

The press pack on the other side of the road chatted idly, clearly unaware of the tabloid-bolstering events of the previous evening.

‘This is a disaster,’ he said as they passed together through security. ‘Why the hell did she do it?’

‘We’ll have to ask her that,’ answered Lilly, and made her way through the belly of the court towards the cells. ‘She should be here by now.’

‘They won’t produce her,’ said Jez. ‘They never do.’

Lilly pressed the buzzer to be let through. ‘Jack McNally said he’d bring her himself.’

‘Isn’t he the idiot that lost her in the first place?’

‘Hardly,’ said Lilly. ‘She jumped out of a bloody window.’

‘Whatever,’ Jez shrugged. ‘Do you trust him to bring her?’

They heard the distinctive rattle of iron keys as the doors were opened.

At last the final lock was released with a soft clunk. ‘No doubt about it,’ said Lilly. ‘I’d trust that man with my life.’

The cell area in the Old Bailey was ancient. Although the security had been updated from time to time it was far from modern and the area held its natural gravitas in every stone. An air of apprehension filled the corridor between the cells as those charged with the gravest of offences waited for their fate to be sealed only feet above their heads.

The guard used one of at least twenty keys attached to a jangling hoop wider than his fist, and opened cell three.

Kelsey sat on the floor at the far end. Her skin seemed as grey as the bricks behind her, her eyes every bit as lifeless.

‘This is Jez, your barrister,’ said Lilly. ‘He’s going to ask the judge to give you another chance.’

Kelsey shrugged with an indifference that irked Lilly. This was not the frightened little girl in The Bushes.

‘I need you to tell me why you ran away, Kelsey,’ said Jez, and held paper and pen in his outstretched hand.

‘She won’t be needing that,’ said Lilly. ‘She’s rediscovered the power of speech.’

Jez looked stunned. ‘She can speak?’

Lilly gave a rueful smile.

‘So why isn’t she saying anything?’ he asked.

Kelsey sighed. ‘Because I ain’t got nothing to say.’

The voice, like last night, was clear and composed – not, thought Lilly, the painful whisper of one recently recovered. Suspicions were crowding Lilly’s mind and she recalled her conversation with Sheba on exactly this point. Kelsey was either still in shock, or …

‘Cut the crap, sister,’ said Lilly. Her tone startled both Jez and Kelsey, who snapped to attention in unison. ‘Since I took this case I’ve been shouted at by coppers, ridiculed on the telly and pushed into a road by the biggest man I ever saw in my life. I’ve been followed and attacked with a knife by your mother’s lunatic pimp. Jesus, even my sex life has nosedived, so don’t sit there like a sulky toddler.’

Lilly knew her behaviour was entirely inappropriate but she couldn’t keep her anger in check. ‘Answer the man’s question. Why did you run away from Leyland House?’

Lilly saw indecision register in the girl’s features and she didn’t wait for Kelsey to process her thoughts but pressed harder.

‘If you want to play silly beggars that’s fine, but you’ll do it with someone else. I’m not wasting another second in this hellhole unless you’ve got something to tell us.’

It was bully-boy tactics but Lilly had had enough of playing games. She’d had enough of games, period. It was time for everyone to lay their cards on the table.

Kelsey must have realised that this was no bluff. ‘I told you I wanted to be with my mum. I wanted to say goodbye.’

Jez lowered his eyes as if genuinely sorry for this poor girl.

Lilly, however, had her bullshit detector turned all the way up. ‘Why yesterday? You could have gone to the flat anytime you were in The Bushes and you wouldn’t have needed to jump out of a window.’

‘It didn’t hit me till yesterday,’ said Kelsey.

Lilly stood up. ‘Come on, Jez, I’m sure you’ve got innocent people to get out of jail.’

Kelsey jumped up too and shouted, ‘I am innocent.’

Lilly shouted right back at her. ‘So why are you lying?’

Kelsey’s eyes darted from side to side and the muscle at the corner of her mouth twitched. She’s wavering, thought Lilly. Time to change tack.

‘You don’t have to keep quiet any more. Your mum’s dead, nothing you say can hurt her or get her into trouble,’ said Lilly, lowering her voice.

Kelsey nodded. Obviously this thought was one she’d toyed with before. ‘I know, but I don’t want them to say bad things about her.’

‘Words can’t hurt Grace now, but rotting in Parkgate will certainly hurt you,’ said Lilly. ‘Let us help you, please.’ This last plea was said as she looked directly into Kelsey’s eyes.

Kelsey slid her back down the wall to the floor. Lilly sat down next to her.

‘I thought he’d stop when Mum was killed. I thought he’d see how sick it all was,’ said Kelsey.

‘Max,’ said Lilly.

Kelsey nodded. ‘I should have known he was in too deep.’

‘He was making films, porno films,’ Lilly prompted.

‘Yeah, but not like the ones Mum used to make, with a story and that. These were just one man. Doing it with a girl,’ said Kelsey.

‘How old were the girls?’ asked Lilly, who suspected she already knew the answer.

‘I’m not sure. Twelve, thirteen maybe.’

Lilly hid her horror and pushed on. ‘What did it have to do with your mum?’

Kelsey screwed up her face and shut her eyes tight. She clearly wanted to say it had nothing to do with Grace.

Lilly put her hand on Kelsey’s shoulder. ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones …’

Kelsey spoke without opening her eyes. ‘He made them in our flat.’

Lilly swallowed. What in God’s name had this kid seen in her short life?

‘Max, the man and the girls, they all came to our place and’, Kelsey’s voice wavered, ‘did it in the front room.’

‘Your mum let that happen?’ said Jez.

No, Jez, don’t badmouth Grace, that’s what she’s
afraid of
.

‘I’m sure she tried to stop Max,’ said Lilly, directing her words and a chastising glare at Jez.

Kelsey seized upon this like the gift it was. ‘She did try to stop him. She told him again and again but he wouldn’t listen.’ She aimed her words at Jez, begging him to understand, not to judge. ‘She wasn’t very strong, cos of the gear. She couldn’t do without it, see, but she kept it under control as best she could. We weren’t living in a pigsty or nothing.’

Lilly nodded and recalled how neat number 58 had been.

‘But Max kept bringing more and more drugs so she wouldn’t put up a fight,’ said Kelsey.

Jez smiled his understanding and Kelsey’s face filled with gratitude. ‘One night, after they’d all gone, I found her crying in bed. She kept saying, “I’ve got to get you away from him, I’ve got to get you away.” I says, “Come on then, Mum, let’s go. Let’s pack up and take the babies away from here, and I meant it cos I could see where it was all heading. But she says no. Says we can’t just take off in the middle of the night, that we’ve got to do it properly.’

‘And she did try,’ said Lilly.

‘Yeah, she did. At first I thought she’d just forget about it, like everything else she ever said she was going to do, but this time was different. She stopped taking the drugs and sold ’em to Tracey in the next block.’

‘The girl who found your mum?’

Kelsey nodded. ‘Then she started writing to the council for a transfer but she kept getting knocked back. Then Max found out somehow and beat the crap out of her. Next thing I know the social came for us and put us in care.’

‘I think she did it to get you out of there,’ said Lilly.

‘I think you’re right. I didn’t get it at first, and then when I did it was too late,’ said Kelsey.

Someone thumped loudly on the cell door.

‘Five minutes and we’re in court,’ said Jez. ‘You have to tell us why you left Leyland House.’

‘I knew he was going to do it again and I couldn’t let it happen. Enough people have been hurt. I thought I could give him a shock, make him see sense.’

‘What made you think it was going to happen again?’ asked Lilly.

Kelsey’s reply was emphatic. ‘Someone came to see me. I can’t tell you who cos I promised, but they said they’d met up with Max and I worked it out from there. I just wanted to warn him off.’

Judge Blechard-Smith made no attempt to hide his fury at the case coming before him again. Having been strong-armed against his better judgement to release the girl, he looked apoplectic to discover she’d escaped. As she was led into the dock he could barely contain himself.

‘Stand up,’ he yelled at Kelsey, who could barely see over the top of the dock railing.

‘She is standing, My Lord,’ said Jez. ‘I’m afraid these courts were not designed with children in mind. Perhaps you would allow her to sit beside her solicitor.’

‘Indeed I shall not,’ snarled the judge. ‘Child or not, this is a court of law and she is the defendant.’

There was a two-minute commotion while several books were dispatched to the dock and arranged in a pile for Kelsey to stand on.

The judge turned to his clerk. ‘At the trial, please arrange for an orange box to be available.’

The clerk nodded, but the height of his eyebrows told Lilly that he too was wondering whether such things still existed. The scene reminded Lilly of another case where her client had been deaf. In the absence of a signer the judge had conducted the hearing by shouting.

‘Mr Marshall, can you please tell me why we are here today,’ said the judge.

Marshall got to his feet. ‘As your Lordship may recall, a secure accommodation order was made in respect of this defendant following an application by the defence …’

‘Good God, man, it was two days ago,’ roared the judge, ‘I think I can remember that far back. What I want to know is what has happened since to bring us all back here yet again.’

Marshall bowed. ‘The defendant was taken to the institution in question, Leyland House, by Officer McNally, and some moments later she absconded.’

‘I thought the building was secure,’ said the judge.

‘Indeed, that is what we were told, but it seems the defendant was able to smash open a second-floor window and jump to her freedom,’ said Marshall.

The judge threw his hands in the air. ‘But Doctor Lorenson said it was as safe as a prison, she said she’d been there herself.’

The unfairness of the comment was clearly too much for Jez, who jumped to his feet. ‘With all due respect, it is not Doctor Lorenson’s job to check every window.’

‘But it is her job to recommend a suitable unit,’ said Marshall, clearly in no mood to forgive the trouncing he had received at Sheba’s hands. ‘And the unit in question was certainly not that.’

‘So what is the prosecution’s position today?’ continued the judge.

‘We oppose any further applications for bail on the grounds that this defendant is likely to abscond,’ said Marshall.

Lilly sneaked a look in Jack’s direction. He shrugged helplessly, both palms open. The decision to oppose bail would have come directly from Bradbury, not from him. She understood his position and nodded.

‘And what do the defence say, Mr Stafford?’ asked the judge. ‘Frankly, I’m intrigued.’

Jez shuffled his papers unnecessarily. He was great at his job but the unassailable fact was that Kelsey had escaped.

‘My Lord, Kelsey has known that the police suspected her involvement in her mother’s death for quite some time, and until last night made no attempt to evade due process. She could easily have run away during her time at The Bushes, but did not.’

‘She hadn’t been charged at that point,’ said Marshall.

Jez sighed. It was a fair point. Since Kelsey had been charged she’d been in custody, and had taken her chance at the very first opportunity that presented itself.

‘My Lord, I think we have to ask ourselves how serious this attempt to flee really was,’ he said.

‘She jumped from a second-floor window. I’d say that was pretty serious,’ said Marshall, evidently enjoying himself.

Jez ignored the interruption from his left and continued. ‘She went straight back home, the very first place the police would look.’

‘And had she not been discovered?’ asked the judge.

‘I have no doubt she would have handed herself in,’ said Jez.

Marshall shook his head and gave a stagey laugh. ‘In the famous words of Mandy Rice Davies, “he would say that, wouldn’t he”. None of us can say what she would or wouldn’t have done if Sergeant McNally hadn’t found her.’

‘If Mr Marshall had bothered to read the policeman’s notebook, as I did, he would know that the officer in question not only lost Kelsey, he was not the one to find her either. That task was left to my instructing solicitor.’

Jez let his stinging indictment of Jack settle in everyone’s minds before continuing. ‘The point is, Kelsey could easily have escaped again but chose instead to go to the station voluntarily to sort this matter out.’

It was a triumph, but a minor one, and Lilly could only watch as the judge revoked bail and sent Kelsey back to Parkgate.