Damaged But Not Broken (New Adult Rockers) (24 page)

I hand him the coffee. “Drink,” I
order, sitting on the edge of the bed. He takes a few sips and I stare at the
wall, wanting to speak, but knowing it’s not going to make any difference.
“After you finish your coffee, I want you to try to sleep. We can talk when you
get up.”

"How the hell am I supposed to
sleep if I'm hopped up on fucking coffee?" He sneers.

"You better figure it out I
guess." I snap back.

I go and draw my daddy’s blinds and
quietly close the door behind me. I’m exhausted, but I go downstairs and get
out a giant trash bag and start filling it with all the empty bottles and pizza
boxes. I fill three bags and carry them out to the trashcan. I then spray down
every surface. I finally sit once everything is clean and smells fresh again.

It’s just after eight and I haven’t
heard a peep from upstairs so I figure my dad is sleeping. I lay down on the
couch, and within seconds, I’m fast asleep.

I stir a while later when I hear a
sound. It’s my daddy coming down the steps. I glance at the clock and see that
it’s after midnight. I jump off the couch and stumble into the kitchen and
switch a light on. I’m starving and I figure my dad is too. I open the
refrigerator and see there isn’t much to choose from. I end up finding some
spaghetti and a jar of sauce, so I start boiling water.

“Hi,” my dad says quietly, seating
himself on one of the bar stools at the counter.

“Hi,” I say awkwardly, “I’m making
spaghetti. Would you like something to drink?”

My dad gives me a long stare.

“Your choices are Fresca, orange
juice or water,” I say pointedly.

My dad sighs. “Fresca.”

I open two Frescas and put one in
front of him. I start to sip the other.

“You can start talking whenever
you’re ready. I’ve got all night,” I say.

“Didn’t you have a show?”

“Not tonight. We’re in St. Louis
tomorrow,” I swallow another sip. “I told you that earlier on the phone.”

My dad shrugs as if to say he can’t
remember.

“Daddy, I want to help you, but I’m
really struggling here. Was it all bullshit about being clean? Did you lie to get
me to Nashville?” I try to keep the emotion out of my voice, but fail miserably.

My dad shakes his head sadly, and
puts down his empty Fresca can. “No, it wasn’t a lie. Why are you giving me so
much crap, Paige?”

I lose it. “Seriously, Daddy? You
have a lot of nerve saying that to me. I was
raped
by two of your
redneck friends because you were too damn drunk to notice!”

My dad winces in pain, and buries
his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he moans.

“You sure don’t seem like it! I
didn’t speak to you for thirteen years. That
never
would have happened
if you hadn’t been so irresponsible and a lousy drunk!” I don’t want to be
yelling at my dad, but I can’t help it, I need to say it and he needs to hear
it.

“Then I finally forgive you after
thirteen years of having no relationship, and move back here so you can help me
with my career. You begged me to come home, Daddy! Begged me! You swore you
were clean, you promised you had a new life and I believed you!”

“I was clean!” he insists
miserably. “It wasn’t a lie!”

“Then what the hell happened?”

My dad sighs and rubs at his eyes.
“It happened the second night we were on tour,” he whispers, “I knew going on
tour like that would be a challenge. There would be so many temptations while I
was out of my comfort zone. No one would know me in those other bars, and I
wouldn’t have to show up at the office.

I keep a rigid routine at home,
knowing what my triggers are. But I couldn’t help it on tour. We were always so
close to all these other bars. I was drinking every night for a week, and then
I went hog wild when I came back home alone. I couldn’t stop.”

My dad breaks down and actually
starts crying.

“Daddy, why didn’t you ask for
help?”

“I was too ashamed. And I liked it
too much.” He shakes his head. “It just tasted too good. It felt too good.”

“So it’s worth losing me over?” I
can’t help ask.

“No,” he says vehemently. “It’s
not!”

“Well, that’s what you’re doing,
Daddy! And Becky has noticed too. You’ve dropped the ball at work and people
know something is up.”

“Fuck!” he exclaims, jumping up. “I
don’t know how I let it get this bad so quickly.” He paces around the kitchen
and then looks at me, his eyes wild and lost. “I can’t stop.”

“Well, you have to,” I say simply.
“Or you going to lose everything. Me, this house, your label. Honestly, I don’t
know if I can be around you even if you do get sober.”

“Paige,” he says coming to me, and
taking my hand. I instinctively jerk it out of his grip. I look away.

“I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

I nod. “Throw out all the alcohol
you have in this house.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I’m going to stand
here and watch. Throw it all out.”

“Paige! I – I can’t!”

“And why not, Daddy?” I demand,
placing my hands on my hips. I am so exhausted and I want to be anywhere but
here. “I don’t want a drunk and a liar for my dad, so if you’re okay with
losing your little girl for good, then fine, don’t throw out your booze. But if
you want any shot at saving this fucked up relationship we seem to have, then
you better start cleaning house.”

My dad blinks at me as if he can’t
believe everything I just said. Then he slowly moves away from me and grabs a
trash bag. He slowly goes to the fridge and dumps all his beer cans in the bag.

“Pour it in the sink,” I say
quietly.

My dad sighs and starts opening bottle
after bottle, and dumps the amber liquid down the drain. After all the beer
from the fridge is gone, he goes about, pulling liquor bottles from various
places – the kitchen pantry, the coffee table, a bookcase drawer. I follow him
upstairs, and I watch him pull out bottles from his bedroom. I shake my head in
disgust.

It takes nearly an hour, but all
the liquor is finally gone.

“I’m going to bed, Daddy,” I say
stiffly. “Thanks for doing that. We can talk more in the morning before I have
to catch my flight.”

My dad says nothing, and since we
have nothing more to say, I walk slowly to my room. I set my alarm and collapse
into bed, forgetting to even call Blake.

TWENTY-TWO

Blake

Worried

I’m worried as hell about Paige,
and I pace nervously by airport security, waiting for her to appear before me.
I anxiously awaited to hear from her all night, but the only time I heard from
her was when her plane had touched down in Nashville.

I barely slept, imagining what kind
of night she was having with Kenny. I'm so fucking angry with him! How could he
start drinking again! How could he do that to Paige after all the shit she went
through? I know how hard it has been for Paige to forgive him and move to
Nashville, and the son-of-a-bitch threw it all away for a few beers.

I glance at my phone and see that
it’s just after four. Paige’s flight should be just over an hour long, which
means that she got to spend most of the day home with Kenny. I can only imagine
what went down between them.

I don’t have to wait any longer,
suddenly I see Paige emerge and I barely register how gorgeous she looks, even
when she’s stressed. I pull her to me and kiss her hard on the lips.

“I missed you,” I breathe, “Come
on, baby. Let me get you out of here.”

She sags into me, and lets me wrap
my arm around her waist. She has no bags except her purse, and we make our way
out of the airport and hail a taxi to take us back to the hotel.

She’s quiet the entire time, and I
can’t wait any longer. As the taxi pulls into traffic, I turn to look at her.

“How bad was it?”

She looks up at me. “Bad.” She
pauses, staring out the window, “I don’t know if I can have a relationship with
him. I didn’t sign up for this.” She sighs. “Let’s be honest. I’m not going
back to Bristol, but if I can’t be around my dad, I certainly can’t have him
represent me. I’m pretty sure I could find someone else represent me, and I
could get my own place in Nashville.” She trails off.

“First things first,” I say
quietly. “You don’t need to worry about any of that. I know a number of labels
that would kill to sign you now. And you don’t need to worry about where to
live. I have an entire house to myself.”

Paige gives me a weak smile.

“The real question here is whether
or not you want to try to fix things with your dad.”

“I don’t think I can fix things
unless he does something really drastic. Something that really proves that he
loves me and is willing to do whatever it takes.”

“Like what? Give me an example.”

She’s quiet again. “Thirty days in
rehab, to start.” She says finally.

I inhale sharply. I don’t think
she’s being unreasonable, but I don’t know if Kenny would ever go for that.
Especially when he has a business to run.

“I already called Becky,” she says,
turning to me, her big blue eyes bright with tears. “I told her that he would
be back at work tomorrow and to call me if he doesn’t show. She knows he has a
drinking problem, and I alluded to as much without coming out and saying it. I
trust her, so I know she won’t say anything. I told her to look for any signs
of weird behavior.”

We spend the rest of the short ride
in silence. We get to the hotel, and I lead Paige inside. I pull out her room
key from my pocket and take her to her room. I open the door and guide her
inside, making sure to be extra gentle with her. I’m not sure if the timing is
right or not, but I can’t keep my hands off her any longer.

“Paige,” I murmur, pulling her to
me and kissing her on the mouth. My hands slide up her back and down her arms
and she groans softly as she gives into the kiss.

“How much time do we have?” she
asks in a husky voice.

“About thirty minutes before we
need to get ready.”

Paige pulls back, locks eyes with
me, and grabs the hem of her floral sundress. She slowly tugs it up over her
body, first revealing her lacy pink panties, then her flat stomach and her bare
breasts.

“Fuck, Paige,” I hiss, drinking in
her body. I push her down on the bed, and yank my shirt over my head, tugging
my jeans off as fast I can. This time we both feel the urgency between us.
Whether it’s because we’re short on time, or because of the events of the past
twenty-four hours, I’m not sure. But all I know is that I need to be inside
Paige and I can tell she needs me too.

I kiss her breasts, squeezing her
nipples between my fingers and I groan loudly as Paige strokes me in hard, strong
movements. She arches her back as I slide my hand between her folds, and I
harden even more when I feel how wet and ready she is for me.

“I thought of you the whole plane
ride,” she confesses, and I make a sound deep in my throat as I push two
fingers into her. I can’t hold out much longer, and judging from Paige’s
panting and heavy breathing, she’s ready too.

I slide a condom over my dick and
in one quick thrust; I’m balls-deep inside her.

“Argh!” Paige cries, digging her
nails into my shoulder and arching beneath me. I slide in and out, slowly at
first, but I'm unable to control myself. I start thrusting into Paige with
hard, fast strokes and she’s moaning like I’ve never heard her before. It’s
incredibly sexy and I close my eyes and focus only on her moans of pleasure.

I push my hand between her thighs,
and rub her clit just the way she likes. Her moans come louder and faster.

“Don’t stop,” she pants, and I
growl her name as I push into her one final time before exploding. I continue
to thrust into her as I come, and moments later, I feel Paige clench tightly
around me, and then she’s coming too, her eyes closed shut tightly as she
revels in ecstasy.

“Blake! Ohhhhh Blake!” she cries
out, her inner muscles fluttering around me, milking me dry.

When I finally finish, I stay
inside her, still hard, and slowly push in and out of her. She moans quietly,
her body still except for the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

“Blake, that’s just what I needed,”
she says breathlessly, her nails lightly tracing over the scratch marks she’s
left on my arms.

“Good. I needed it too. It just
keeps getting better and better.”

“I know,” she agrees, a soft smile
across her face.

We lay together, still connected,
until I finally need to go back to my room.

“You should start getting ready,” I
say sadly, pulling my jeans on.

“I know.” She stands up, stretching
like a cat, and I wonder how I ever could have thought that Savannah was right
for me. “See you soon, baby.” She kisses me and heads to the shower as I leave
her room.

~~~

The St. Louis show is great, but I
notice that Paige is slightly off. Her voice is just a little too raw; her
emotions are just a little too fresh. Of course, everyone loves her regardless,
and I’m more certain than ever that Paige is going to become a star.

We spend the night in her room
again, but I make sure it doesn’t turn into a marathon sex session. I know how
badly she needs to catch up on sleep. We’re both shocked as we drag our bags
into the lobby the next morning and come face to face with Kenny.

Kenny looks at me and then hangs
his head in shame. The man looks like shit.

“Hi Blake,” he mumbles, “Can I have
a minute with my daughter?”

“Daddy, what are you doing here?”
she demands, holding tightly onto my arm.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Well, whatever you have to say,
you can say it in front of Blake.”

“No, no, Paige. That’s okay. You
guys can have some privacy.” I try to pull away from her.