Damage (25 page)

In that moment, I wish I’d let it. I wish I’d never lived to put Dani in this kind of danger.

The dragon crouches low, wiggling its haunches. Seconds later, the black car pulls to a stop a few feet behind it. Agent Bullock and the Man in Gray jump out, guns drawn, ensuring that—even if by some miracle Dani and I escape the Thing—there will be no happy ending here today.

I’m not a hero; I’m a dumb kid. Now I’m going to die. And Dani’s going to die, too, and it’s all my fault. I’ve as good as murdered her.

“It’s right behind me?” she asks. I nod and she squeezes my hand. “Don’t give up. You can do this.”

I swallow, wanting to tell her that I can’t, to warn her to save herself because I’m not nearly as big and bad as people at school always thought. But I feel so weak that I can barely moan, even when the men rush forward and the dragon lifts one clawed hand above Dani’s head.

“I love you,” she whispers.

She spins so fast that her hair swats my cheek, making it sting, bringing back my awareness of all my other hurts—the short-circuiting nightmare that is my four-fingered hand, the burns on the back of my neck, the screaming protest of my right side as the fire in the back seat gets hotter and hotter, and the stupid knot of hunger at the center of it all that’s eating away at my guts and starting to work on my spine. It’s ridiculous that I’m still hungry. I’m about to die and watching Dani shove past the dragon just seconds before fire explodes from its mouth.

But the hunger eclipses all the other pain. It’s a cold, mean ache at the pit of me that’s rendered me useless. There’s just no fuel left to burn, with the Thing taking its share.

The thought catches and my thoughts spin around it. Is that why I can’t pull it together? Something so stupid? Something so simple?

I force my good hand to reach down to the floor. I fumble across the mat until I find the Power Bar Dani dropped when her dad pulled his gun. I grab it and cram one end into my mouth, holding it with my teeth as I pull the wrapper off with shaking fingers. The second the sugar hits my tongue something inside me revs to life. My jaw works the hard, sticky mess and swallows it down—two bites, three, faster than I’ve ever eaten anything—and suddenly I can move.

Unfortunately the Thing can still move, too, and it doesn’t seem any more inclined to let me live than it did a few seconds ago.

I’ve barely staggered out of the car when the dragon jumps me. Its claws dig into my bad shoulder and I crumple to the ground. As I fall, I catch a glimpse of Dani and watch helplessly as Agent Bullock’s arms close around her from behind. A few feet away, the Man in Gray is already on the ground, his nose gushing red.

Rachel must have gotten him. But Rachel can’t be in two places at once and Rachel can’t fight the Thing any more than Dani can. Rachel and the dragon may both be imaginary, but they exist in different minds, different worlds. The only person who can stop the monster ripping open my shoulder, making me howl like an animal, is
me
.

“Stop it! Get the hell out of here, you piece of shit!” I scream, using my best “listen up” voice, thinking of all the times that voice has done the job—on the ball field, on the bus at my old school where every trip home was an exercise in survival, downtown after dark in the dangerous places that always felt safer than my own bed.

Safe. Shit! I have to keep
Dani
safe, and the Thing isn’t listening to reason.

Guess I’ll just have to try brute force. It worked when I was little. The dragon’s a hell of a lot stronger now, but so am I and I have something bigger than myself to fight for. I’m not going to fail Dani, not after everything we’ve been through.

My howl transforms into a battle cry as I grab the Thing by the throat and squeeze with everything in me. I ignore the blood pouring down my left hand. I ignore the fear that zips through me when I hear Dani scream again. I ignore the bit of bone that stabs up from my flesh and the cold puff of my breath and the hot flames that shoot from the dragon’s mouth—and I fight.

I punch and kick and hold onto the Thing as it writhes, its reptilian body twisting in ways my muscles can’t imagine. It flips me across the ground to slam against the car and back again, over the pavement and off the road into a snow bank where I finally land on top. I lock my legs around its body, holding it down in the snow, thanking God and Coach Clawson that I went out for the wrestling team instead of basketball.

“Jesse! Get down!” Dani shouts.

I duck, slamming my forehead between the Thing’s eyes. The satisfying crunch of serpent bone reaches my ears seconds before a gunshot rips through the air. The snow drift behind me takes the bullet intended for my head and sends up a spray of ice and salt.

I turn back to the road. The Man in Gray is up off the ground. Before I can move, he fires again, but this time the shot goes wild. His hand jerks into the air and his legs buckle as some invisible force slams into the back of his knees. He cries out as he hits the pavement, but he lifts his gun again, aiming straight at my chest, my death a certainty in his determined eyes.

The Thing rumbles beneath me. An angry growl simmers in its throat, hums through its scales. I look down to see its red eyes locked on the Man in Gray with a grim determination of their own.

I have a split second to decide: trust the Thing or trust my gut. My gut says the dragon’s decided it’s in the mood for fresh meat, but if I let it go and it dives for my throat, I’m over and there’s no way I’ll be able to help Dani.

But if it doesn’t …

Dani cries out, a pained sound that makes me angrier than anything I can remember. I don’t care if the dragon kills me, as long as I get to destroy the man who is daring to hurt Dani before it does. I roll hard to the left and hurl the Thing at the Man in Gray just as his gun goes off again. This time, he hits a mark. Just not the one he was aiming for.

The Thing absorbs the bullet meant for me and keeps going, landing in a frenzy of sharp claws and snapping teeth. The man screams, an eardrum-shattering wail for mercy that doesn’t slow the Thing for a second. The monster shreds him, rips his skin from his bones while he’s still alive, turns him into hamburger meat from the stomach down. The pure, bloody violence of it makes Rachel’s beating of Dr. Connor look like a skit from
Sesame Street
.

It happens so fast I barely have time to stand up before it’s over. The Man in Gray collapses to the ground, bloodied and torn, eyes wide and empty. Dead. In seconds. That’s what I can do. That’s what this beast inside of me is capable of. I clench my jaw, fighting the urge to be sick. The Thing has been holding back on me, giving me a fighting chance. I realize that now. It never put everything it had into killing me. If it had, I would be dead. I shudder as the dragon rakes its claws through the mess and snaps up chunks of meat. Meat, not human flesh. If I think about that red mess as a person—a person I’ve killed and that something I’ve created in my mind is eating—I’m going to go crazy.

I take less than a second to make sure the Thing is distracted and run to Dani, focusing on the fight ahead and how satisfying it will feel to smash my fist into Agent Bullock’s face. But Agent Bullock is gone.

I catch sight of him as he slides into the driver’s seat and fires up the black car. Fear has wiped away his smug expression, making him look older and younger at the same time. His slack cheeks seem more wrinkled, but his eyes are baby eyes, saucers full of shattered innocence.

Guess Agent Bullock isn’t as big and bad as he thought he was, either.

For a second I think about running after the car, but a glance back at the dragon makes it impossible. It’s still eating Bullock’s partner. I watch its bloody snout lift into the air as it swallows another chunk whole and know I’d puke if I had more than a Power Bar in my stomach. Let the man go. Let him run back to his bosses and tell them all about this nightmare. Maybe then they’ll have the sense to leave us alone.

Bullock pulls out in a squeal of tires, zipping past our car as he—

“Shit!” The car! It’s still on fire. It’s burning like crazy now, snapping and popping, melting the seats like putty.

I curse again as the black car disappears around a curve in the road, realizing too late why I should have forced myself to pull Bullock out of the driver’s seat. We need that car. We’re out in the middle of nowhere, miles from civilization, with no transportation, no food, no coats, no shelter, and night is coming on fast. The only good news is that the Thing has vanished now that it’s eaten its fill. But already the light has gone pink and gray, the last strands of a winter sunset that will all too quickly fade to cold, black night.

I drive my hands through my hair, wincing when my fingers brush over shriveled, sticky clumps. The Thing has burned the entire left side of my head. Great. Just what Dani and I need, a new look that will attract attention. I’ll have to shave my hair off and start from scratch. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe being bald will make me look old enough to rent a hotel room if Dani and I can get across the border. Too bad we’re really going to have to do it on foot.

Stupid! I’m so stupid!

And you’ve killed a man. Dead. On the ground. Turn around and get a good look at what happens when you let the Thing take control.

I bite the inside of my lip until I taste blood. I can’t turn around. I don’t want to see the evidence of my
wrong
ness. I can’t stand to think that it could have been Dani on the ground if I’d hesitated a second longer, if I hadn’t figured out that not eating was hurting instead of helping me control the monster inside of me.

“Jesse?” Dani’s voice trembles, thin and breathy, pulling me from my racing thoughts. She wavers on her feet, so pale she’s almost glowing.

Another wave of nausea roils through my guts. She must have seen what’s left of the man who tried to shoot me. That has to be why she looks like she’s about to faint. I’ve killed someone. Right in front of her.

I hurry across the pavement. My arms go around her waist just as her knees buckle and her head wilts to the side. I help her fold onto the ground, amazed that she can make even passing out look graceful. She’s so beautiful, so fragile despite that tough streak inside her. I should have realized that. I should have done a better job of protecting her. If I had, maybe my hands wouldn’t be brushing over her stomach and coming away smeared with blood.

If I had, maybe Dani wouldn’t be dying in my arms.

Jesse

The Thing got to her. It must have happened when she rushed past it. I saw it take a swipe, but I didn’t think it touched her. I didn’t realize … I didn’t know … and now …

Now …

“Jesse … ”

“Just hold still. You’re going to be fine.” I make the lie sound as much like the truth as I can while taking in Dani’s ripped-open body.

I only glance down for a second, but I get an eyeful through the rips in her shirt. Her skin is peeling away from her bones, showing pink and red and shredded muscles and parts of things I don’t want to think about, delicate things responsible for keeping Dani alive.

We’re both healing crazy fast, but can she survive this kind of damage? I press my hand over the wound, but more red and pink gush out with every breath she takes. Applying pressure isn’t going to be enough. She’s too messed up.

I have to find help.

Trent’s face flashes through my mind, but I push it away. Even if I had a phone and could convince Trent he had to come pick me up in Northern Bum Fuck, he’d never get here in time. Maybe Dani’s dad? If I carry her back to the road where we left him he might be able to help her. He’s a doctor and way better equipped to deal with this kind of injury than I am.

But he’s also an evil bastard. And Agent Bullock knows where Dr. Connor was taking us. Bullock could be on his way to pick him up right now. Maybe they’ll even decide to grab some more guns at cabin number thirteen and come back to finish us off.

“Shit,” I hiss beneath my breath. I have to get us out of here. Now. But I can’t—

“Penny … I don’t think … I … ” Dani shifts in my arms, licks her lips with a sluggish move of her tongue that scares me. She’s fading, dying, while I sit here like a dumbass waiting for the bad guys to pull themselves together. “She’ll help us.”

Her stepmom. The one who used to work for the real FBI. Dr. Connor said that his wife was on the way to a safe house. But he also said that she didn’t know anything about what was happening and that he was afraid she might leave him. He obviously lied to us about a few things, but that part I believe. A grown man doesn’t cry like a baby for no reason. He was really afraid of losing Penny, and when he talked about starting a new life he said it would be just him and Dani. Like he was assuming Penny wouldn’t be able to stomach him now that she knew the truth about his past.