Dadr'Ba (29 page)

They slipped on robes that Su’Zi had prepped in advance, and sat once again before the bay window watching the street vendors below and drank freshly brewed tea and ate breakfast wafers, given to Su’Zi by Mi’Ka for this particular occasion.

They talked about how good it was the night before, and how happy they were to be with each other, how they couldn’t imagine it being any better.

The unspoken implication being the question of if they had crossed the rarely discussed line between sex; the recreational stress reliever, the psychic reset, exercise and fulfillment of gender identity, and love; the deep pair bonding prequel to procreation, the joining that usually begins to occur between mated couples twice their age.

P’Ko’s next thought, he couldn’t tell if he spoke or just thought “are we in love?” Su’Zi responded in kind, P’Ko still not sure if he heard it with his ears “of course we are. I have loved you since the moment I first saw you.” Then Su’Zi, speaking, aloud, “I believe we’ve been somehow connected since long before we met, that there exist soul mates that are timeless, that we are meant to be together.”

Then, after a pause, “What is love?” answering herself “Love is the sense of belonging, the sharing of yourself, sharing of your self-control, your knowledge, your very awareness, sharing that part of you that makes, you, “you.” When two people love each other, they lose themselves, give up thinking about themselves as individuals, unconditionally accepting each other for who they are and begin to think of themselves as a couple, as connected with the person they love.”

“People who love each other create a new, multiself, a virtual person that is a combination of the two individuals; the individuals disappear, and the couple remains. Separation or anything that threatens separation hurts as much a physical cut or injury, even more so because it’s painful to the heart, to the soul. People in love are never the same as before, everything they do has the touch or imprint of their loved one. Lacking the knowledge of the other, like we were before we found each other, creates a longing for the seed of true love, the want to belong to another.”

“When I first saw you in my dream, I didn’t see a To’Ta, I felt something deeper, I saw something deeper like there was an aura around you. Then when I saw you again in Vr’Chm the aura was missing, but it was like tunnel vision, I could see through the virtual interface, see you directly, like looking through a portal. I sensed it was you and longed to be with you, to be part of your life. It was love at first sight, but I could tell that at first you didn’t feel the same way, and it hurt and terrified me.”

P’Ko replied, “I was terrified too. I knew that I was attracted to you, but I couldn’t tell it if it was physical attraction or true love. I had to get to know you on a deeper, more personal level to decern if it was a physical longing, or more, a longing for the real you, underneath that beautiful body. I had to get to know the deeper you, your personality, your wants, your goals, your values and desires, the more profound you, before I knew if I actually loved you.”

“I didn’t know then what real love was. Now, and it’s not just because of last night. I know that you have forever changed my life and whether together or apart “we” will always influence my life, my decisions, I can’t think of myself without including you. “I do love you.” And they touched psychically and embraced.

After more tea and wafers, Su’Zi produced P’Ko’s utility overalls that he had worn to report into the run, freshly laundered, he had forgotten them completely; Su’Zi had thought of everything and P’Ko lavished the attention.

They spent the rest of the day together exploring Ol’Tn and even paid a visit to Mi’Ka, who gave P’Ko a neck charm of sorts, a tiny, sturdy little bottle containing a clear liquid appearing to have sparkling snowflakes drifting through it. She said that it was a powerful first aid kit and to be only used in dire emergencies, and in the meantime, it was nice to look at, and it was; P’Ko found himself momentarily transfixed watching the sparkling snowflakes drift on the tiny currents in the bottle. He broke himself away and thanked Mi’Ka profusely; he had never seen or heard of anything like it before. 

P’Ko and Su’Zi became a couple, unusual for people so young, but not unheard of. They settled into something of a routine, seeing each other as often as their schedule permits, sometimes P’Ko visits Su’Zi more often Su’Zi visiting P’Ko, due to her access to a vehicle and her more advanced driving skills. P’Ko didn’t mind because they would often go for rides and Su’Zi would teach P’Ko how to drive like a pro.

P’Ko’s apprenticeship was slow and methodical. He needed to complete his apprenticeship and get a permanent job assignment before they could try to get into the same camp. Between learning his job and spending time with Su’Zi, P’Ko’s life was happy and contented, He had all but forgot about the reader neatly stowed in the sack safe fused to the bottom of his locker. He stayed friends with his U’Te classmates mostly on social media and online, but over time grew more and more distant. Until an old friend asked a favor.

As P’Ko rode the supply shuttle up to Ol’Tn, he reflected on the message from Tn’, it felt and sounded urgent. P’Ko knew that Tn’ was getting ready to graduate and thought that Tn’ might be wanting P’Ko’s advice on Job selection and bio-mods, but why the sense of urgency? P’Ko thought back to Tn’s question so long ago up in the stadium overlooking Nu’Tn. They had been asking each other about their likes and dislikes. When Tn’ asked P’Ko if he liked “boys or girls.” Tn’ was back then and might now still be undecided about gender and wanting advice.

Everyone stresses over bio-mod and job selection as they near graduation. But back then Tn’ seemed even more undecided than most. Could Tn’ be debating over gender identity? P’Ko suddenly wished Su’Zi were here, she would be able to give a female’s point of view.

If Tn’ is undecided, perhaps it would be best to stay U’Ne ne wouldn’t have been the first and it’s the right choice for some. P’Ko was frightened of suggesting any particular gender identity to Tn’ because it’s such an important decision, one that will impact you for the rest of your life. While gender reassignment is technically possible if a mistake is made, the cost of sex reassignment, an unfunded elective mod according to the CA, could cost twenty-five to fifty years of savings. P’Ko didn’t want to be responsible in any way for such an important decision.

P’Ko had always known and felt comfortable with Tn’ as a U’Ne. Tn’ was three years younger than P’Ko and they were best friends growing up and maybe not best friends now, still good friends. Knowing Tn’ as well as he did, P’Ko’s choice for Tn’ would be between U’Ne and male, probably U’Ne.

P’Ko made it to Ym’Cha’s and found Tn’ already there waiting. After a warm welcome, they bought tea, sat at a table talking superficially about P’Ko’s job, transitioning to the core topic of school, graduation, job selection and bio-mods.

P’Ko was flabbergasted when Tn’ finally told him that ne decided that ne was going to be female; Tn’ was going to become Tn’Ya.

Tn’s disclosure knocked P’Ko off balance, and it took a while for him to come back to his senses and sort out what he just heard. He reflected back on what he knew of Tn’. Tn’ had been a little effeminate growing up, but that wasn’t unusual for a To’Ta. But then P’Ko recalled getting subtle hints that Tn’ desired to be physically intimate with P’Ko. Remembering occasional comments, touches and edging inside the standard male/male comfort zone of interpersonal space and more often than necessary choosing to come close to whisper something when it didn’t warrant secrecy. It didn’t threaten P’Ko; he just didn’t pay it any attention.

P’Ko knew Tn’ was still grateful to P’Ko and indebted to P’Ko for that time long ago when P’Ko rescued Tn’ from Dan’Zu and his gang. Tn’ couldn’t seem to let go of it, in spite of P’Ko’s attempts to minimize it. P’Ko felt more than repaid by Tn’ staying a trusted and loyal friend, pleasant and fun to be around.

P’Ko had no idea, that Tn’ might be thinking anything more than friendship. P’Ko’s psychic perception wasn’t as developed or trusted then and even now P’Ko had trouble accepting the idea that Tn’s friendship might have been turning into something more.

What’s more, “Tn’Ya” wanted P’Ko to be her mentor. P’Ko’s initial reaction was to refuse; he had no physical attraction or emotion deeper than a friend to Tn’Ya. Tn’ was and is a good friend and now P’Ko knew Tn’Ya felt strongly toward P’Ko.

This shouldn’t have been a surprise; P’Ko should have seen it coming. P’Ko looked into Tn’Ya’s eyes and saw, enforced with his psychic sense, love. P’Ko sensed trouble; Mentors are not supposed to be too emotionally attached to their Lr’Lng.

That’s going to be a problem. P’Ko remembered Z’Shi’s lecture to him on the distinction between recreational sex and love and P’Ko didn’t know what to do about it.

P’Ko could refuse, but to do so, would be cruel and go against the social mores and honor associated with being asked to be a mentor. There’s an etiquette involved with the selection process and accepting or rejecting the honor of being asked to be a mentor is no trivial matter.

P’Ko’s mind raced, how would Su’Zi react? P’Ko thought back to when Su’Zi broke protocol and asked, not offered to be his mentor. Grasping at a possible solution to get around the problem, maybe Su’Zi could be part of the “Mentoring Team”. After all, Su’Zi was mentored by a couple.

As P’Ko thought about it more, he began to calm down. Mentors have complete say over the mentoring process, which would help in handling it. He could use his authority as Mentor to set rules and calm the situation.

If he and Su’Zi did this together, it could be a positive experience for everyone, or so P’Ko hoped, and a way to accept while at the same time defuse this feeling of love P’Ko was getting from Tn’Ya.

P’Ko politely told Tn’ that this was unexpected and that he needed time to consider it. When they parted Tn’ gave P’Ko a friendly hug. Which P’Ko responded to in a “guy” way. Tn’ was a caring friend and deserved compassion.

____________________________

P’Ko had told Su’Zi all about Tn’ previously, and Su’Zi had never met Tn’ and thought of Tn’ as just a U’Ne friend of P’Ko. Now when P’Ko told her about Tn’s choice and request, Su’Zi, sensing a rival, questioned “Tn’Ya’s” motives.

Su’Zi echoed P’Ko’s concern contrary to the noblest aspects of mentoring, that Tn’ might be attempting to use mentoring as a way to get close to P’Ko. Which should have provided grounds to turn down the request.

The situation was significant enough to warrant the advice of someone more mature and unbiased Su’Zi and P’Ko agreed that before any decisions were made that they’d get Mi’Ka’s advice.

A few short messages later and a date and time were set for Su’Zi and P’Ko to meet with Tn’ together, for a mentoring interview. After the interview P’Ko, Su’Zi and Mi’Ka decided, on Mi’Ka’s advice, that P’Ko and Tn’ would meet with Mi’Ka and have a psychic reading without Su’Zi present.

Mi’Ka thought it would be better to minimize participants, especially since Mi’Ka intended to evaluate Tn’s motives towards P’Ko while advising Tn’ on Tn’s future. Suspecting how Tn’ feels towards P’Ko, the presence of Su’Zi might make Tn’ jealous and distort the results of the reading.

The intent of the reading was intentionally vague, had Mi’Ka explained too much about what was going to happen; it would have tainted the results. Psychic readings are fluid and dynamic and can take twists and turns depending on the reactions of the people involved and what is revealed or discovered along the way.

It would have been better if P’Ko wasn’t there, but Tn’ refused to come without P’Ko. Any third parties, cooperative, are not, complicates, and changes the energy balance and perspectives of the reading, limiting or mollifying it so that the information gathered is less authentic, more restricted limited to a more specific set of circumstances. It might take additional readings with Tn’ alone to provide a better insight.

Mi’Ka conducts a reading by psychically observing the person and their reactions while Mi’Ka introduces objects, which can be almost anything, a word, phrase, feeling, emotion, image, vision or even an event, past, present or possible future.

The strength or the substance of the object is impacted by the psychic power of the person she’s doing the reading on and on their cooperation level and expectations. It’s impossible to predict what the reading will reveal.

All psychic interactions have a balance; the balance is between openness and sharing, the willingness to cooperate on one side and the power, strength and agility on the other side. The most efficient way to achieve a balance between what amounts to giving up strength and maintaining power is with a common goal, realized or not.

During sex, it’s giving and taking pleasure with each other and achieving reset. For birthing it goes beyond a give and take, it’s a complete merging of psychic energies with the goal of initiating the psychic and cognitive processes of the Bo’Ba.

For a reading, the objective is to create an experience like a guided conversation, but designed to feel like ordinary, free thought. It’s most successful if the subject believes they are simply free thinking and react and respond to thoughts and ideas that they think are their own, but in reality have been very carefully crafted and suggested by the reader.

Mi’Ka’s readings of P’Ko had been “interesting” she’s never given him a formal one; all of her readings of P’Ko had been surreptitious and opportune. Although Mi’Ka thought P’Ko would accept a reading by Mi’Ka if she asked, his awareness of it would color the results. But that wasn’t the biggest problem with reading P’Ko. Mi’Ka could tell that P’Ko has the same psychic capabilities as many of the better psychic Mi’Nr’s, but he doesn’t trust them and without realizing it he’s natively on guard. This guardedness would probably plunge the reading into a psychic sparing match. Which Mi’Ka was confident she could win, but not without altering their relationship negatively forever.

Because P’Ko’s doesn’t trust his native psychic ability, it cripples it. His mistrust of his psychic abilities prevents him from bringing to bear his more sensitive psychic abilities towards others and what it’s telling him about the psychic activity around him. He’s unable to reach very far or discern very much detail.

Mi’Ka has noticed a gradual improvement in P’Ko psychic abilities. Since she met him, he improved a little on his own; there was a notable improvement after his mentoring with Z’Shi and, most recently, the Run with the Se’Ro’Bs.

Mi’Ka’s best readings of P’Ko have been when he wasn’t expecting or even aware of it, like when he’s walking down the street in front of her shop. However, he’s learned to expect something psychic from her as soon as he crosses her threshold. But lately he’s been prepping earlier, putting himself on the alert, and on guard further and further down the street.

This interaction is good for both of them; Mi’Ka has enjoyed the challenge. It’s been a long while since she’s felt challenged. To think that it crossed P’Ko’s mind of Mi’Ka as his mentor, ha! He wouldn’t be able to handle it! She’s been P’Ko’s psychic guide since they first met and in a way have been having psychic foreplay since then too, as for the other, maybe after a few hundred years, when he’s mature enough?... Mi’Ka chuckled to herself.

____________________________

As P’Ko and Tn’ approached Mi’Ka’s shop, Tn’Ya, not having visited Ol’Tn very often, was nervous, but she was with P’Ko and P’Ko exuded familiarity and confidence which comforted Tn’Ya. Her nervousness and anxious apprehension began to turn to excitement as they neared Mi’Ka’s shop. She was on an adventure with P’Ko.

They had gone on some explorations and adventures before, but those had been in Nu’Tn, Ol’Tn was... Old it’s almost like walking through a museum. But rather than being an organized museum, it was a haphazard conglomeration of nearly two-thousand-year-old trusses and modules. There were some structure and organization of the larger structures but the smaller things were a mishmash. Ol’Tn consisted of everything too worn, used or damaged to warrant a place in the D’Po. From one end of Ol’Tn to the other lay the remnants of fuel tanks, cargo transports, habitats. Littered with bits and pieces of old broken or worn out, life supports, controls, research equipment, maintenance or manufacturing equipment and occasional command module junk.

P’Ko told Tn’ about Mi’Ka in advance and cautioned Tn’ that Mi’Ka’s appearances can be deceiving, she looks, sort of, rough, but she’s a very sweet person.

By the time P’Ko and Tn’ approached Mi’Ka’s shop Tn’ was feeling comfortable, but when Tn’ finally met Mi’Ka face-to-face Tn’ was shocked. Tn’s shock was short-lived, Mi’Ka anticipated her reaction and used her charm and psychic abilities to make sure Tn’Ya was comfortable, it would be essential for an accurate reading,

Even Ku’Ma, Mi’Ka’s pet, was well behaved. Tn’Ya didn’t even notice Ku’Ma hiding in the shadows; P’Ko spotted Ku’Ma though, and playfully feigned a motion toward Ku’Ma and got a silent hunchbacked snarl in response. P’Ko sent the robotic creature a psychic pat, not expecting a reply from the robotic animal and was astonished to see Ku’Ma take the arch out of its back and swoosh its tail, then settling down crossing its paws in front of it. P’Ko was dumbfounded; robots shouldn’t be able to communicate psychically. But then, how does Mi’Ka interact with it? He never really thought about it before and didn’t have time to now.

The three of them gathered around Mi’Ka’s little reading table. They sat on mats, a teapot with three cups was already there. Mi’Ka with her usual tea pouring dexterity poured perfectly placing the cups directly in front of her guests.

P’Ko sipped the tea and tried his best to detect if Mi’Ka had added any “special” ingredients, he could discern none. The tea was one of her usual’s, a sweet, smooth slightly sour blend with a sweet aftertaste. They made small talk while they calmly drank the tea, what tension and anxiety there was, slowly disappeared.

Mi’Ka asked Tn’Ya how she had met P’Ko and got a somewhat inflated (from P’Ko’s perspective) description of P’Ko’s single-handed defeat of Dan’Zu’s gang of five. Mi’Ka noted almost humorously the accidental reuse of the term “gang of five” the private term of reference the resistance uses for the CA Central Council.

Mi’Ka was tuned psychically to the story as well; Tn’Ya was very open, open to a fault. Openness that Su’Zi had noticed and shared with Mi’Ka from Su’Zi’s meeting with Tn’ earlier. It was readily apparent to Mi’Ka that Tn’Ya wasn’t hiding anything, there was no deception or underlying motives driving Tn’Ya, but that didn’t mean there weren’t concerns.

Tn’Ya had absolute trust and devotion to P’Ko and P’Ko felt it. When he thought about it too much, he felt tied down, obligated, and a little smothered by it. He cared for Tn’ but not nearly as much as Tn’ cared for him. Tn’s feelings were what was to be expected between a much more mature couple, and Tn’ was way too young to have as strong as feelings as this.

Mi’Ka realized right away that this triad, this small group, was dangerously off balance, the risk of emotional pain and devastation is all too real a possibility. To avoid pain to one or more lives and relationships, and to avoid ruin or disaster, expectations would need to be worked out, some give and take needs to take place. These young people need time to mature.

Mi’Ka knew P’Ko and Su’Zi individually were developing properly, but they had a strong attraction for each other, and their relationship was progressing too rapidly. P’Ko and Su’Zi were pushing their relationship too fast, which made Mi’Ka uneasy about their relationship. Mi’Ka sensed that P’Ko and Su’Zi, are going to face some tremendous hardships.

Tn’Ya might be able to help. She could be just the thing to help slow P’Ko and Su’Zi down, and at the same time, P’Ko and Su’Zi could help Tn’Ya get her emotions under control. If she could get the three of them to work together, they’ll mature and work through their desires, and be equipped with the tools to understand life, and find their soul mates.

If the give-and-take needed for a healthy two-person relationship can be achieved for these three, it would become a tremendously positive thing. The three of them together could achieve things otherwise impossible, something hundreds of years from now, they’ll be proud of. Then somehow, coming from somewhere deep in Mi’Ka’s gut, something told her that the fate of all of Dadr’Ba is linked to these three.

____________________________

The hardest thing for Tn’Ya to get used upon meeting Mi’Ka, where Mi’Ka’s large frosted over eyes, Tn’Ya thought she could see twinkling behind the frost, infrequently, unexpectedly and erratic, sometimes blue, sometimes white, contrasted against Mi’Ka’s actions which were as smooth and controlled as a gymnast or dancer.

Tn’Ya sipped the tea; it’s the best she can remember tasting, soothing with a light sweet aftertaste leaving her mouth feeling clean and fresh. Her fear and apprehension, already buffered by the presence of P’Ko subsided further. This small, dark, scary blind eyed woman, was no threat, and underneath a gruff looking exterior was a very gentle, compassionate soul, that would be hard-pressed to hurt anyone.

____________________________

When P’Ko and Tn’Ya arrived, Mi’Ka sensed right away that Tn’Ya was psychically linked to P’Ko, and hiding in his shadow, only peeking out occasionally, cautiously and out of curiosity. Mi’Ka could sense that Tn’Ya felt P’Ko’s psychic attention towards her and is comforted by it. Although P’Ko trusts Mi’Ka and understands what she’s doing his naturally guarded psyche, focused on Tn’Ya, might cause a problem. Mi’Ka will have to be very subtle.

They must help her make the right bio-mod and job selection decision and learn what Tn’Ya’s motives are and if Tn’Ya is trustworthy.

Mi’Ka found herself reading not just Tn’Ya but the multiself consisting of Tn’Ya and P’Ko. Tn’Ya is already bonded to P’Ko and P’Ko to Tn’Ya, though at a much lesser level and not fully conscious of it.

All couples, friends, groups, and communities are bonded, they’re not actual individuals. People think of themselves as alone in their existence, but they behave and react to external influences with the others they’re bonded to in mind.

Once the other member or members a couple, family or group accept a new individual as a member, they become a part of a virtual being, participating, to various extents, in the thoughts, motivations, personality and psyche of the group and each of the constituent individuals.

The virtual person is a matrix the individual at its core. Branching off from this core is their mate, families, and friends. Which branches off further to groups and groups of groups, encompassing whole communities or categories the person identifies with and has loyalty to. Every individual becomes a matrix of matrixes with many, sometimes hundreds of inputs from the many connections to other individuals and groups.

Tn’Ya had become part of P’Ko, as much a part of P’Ko as Su’Zi, and Mi’Ka, and the mining community. Just as the mining community now includes P’Ko, especially after the Run with the Se’Ro’Bs and the Crystal Tear Ceremony. Now even though P’Ko is not aware of it, he’s become part of the resistance. And now, Tn’Ya is part of them all, connected by only a few degrees of separation.

Mi’Ka, in order not to cause alarm, will need to make this reading seem superficial, focusing on safe yet pertinent subjects facing Tn’, like the choice of professions and bio-mods. Then carefully Mi’Ka will be able to cozy up for a glimpse Tn’s core motivation, Tn’s source code.

It wasn’t hard, the stated goal of the reading was job choice and bio-mods, all that was necessary was to create the right atmosphere, eliminate external distractions, light, sound, vibration, breezes, smells, and psychic noise. Then gently and imperceptibly introduce objects into the calm, observe and guide.

____________________________

As they finished their tea, Mi’Ka got up from the tea-table and cleared the teapot and cups. Her tea table also doubles as a small group reading table.

Though they hadn’t noticed it before, soothing music was playing in the background. The music gradually became more noticeable as specific systems built into the room gradually eliminated external stimuli. Sights and sounds from the street outside disappeared as the windows facing the street changed to an opaque black.

The lights dimmed and noise canceling systems eliminated the last of the external sound. The music itself became imperceptible and the slow breathing of Tn’Ya, P’Ko and Mi’Ka seemed to amplify.

The noise canceling systems of the room switched modes, and even the sound of breathing disappeared. It became so quiet that the internal rhythm of their hearts pumping, their gut processing their last meals and even the blood coursing through their veins seemed to creep forward to their perception.