Daddy's Double Duty (11 page)

Finally, he said, “I think I need to find a different secretary.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and bit down on the urge to scream at him. “You invited me to a party to
fire me? Why?” she demanded. “Because I refused to make love to you?”

His lazy chuckle infuriated her.

“No. Because I've come to realize that you were right. It's too damn hard to get any work done in the office when all I want to do is lock the door and make love to you all day.”

Feeling the desperate need to escape, she tried to pull her hand from his, but he held her tight, making it clear that he had plenty more to say and expected her to hang around and listen.

“Conall—”

“Wait, Vanessa, before you get all huffy, this isn't…well, it's not just about the two of us making love. It's more than that.”

Confused now, she squared her knees around so that she was facing him head-on. “What
is
this about?”

He looked away from her and if Vanessa hadn't known better she would have thought he was nervous. But that couldn't be so. Conall Donovan didn't allow anything to rattle him.

Eventually he began to speak and his husky voice slid over her skin like warm, summer rain and filled her with the urge to shiver, to lean in to him and invite his kiss. She clamped her hands together and tried to concentrate on his words.

“I've been thinking about us, Vanessa. A lot. And the more I think about it the more I realize there's a perfect solution to our problem.”

She swallowed as all sorts of questions raced through her head. “Problem? You mean now that you want to fire me and get another secretary?”

He grimaced. “I don't want to fire you. I mean, I
do, but only because I have something different in mind—for you…for us.”

Bending her head, she sucked in several deep breaths and prayed the nausea in her stomach would disappear. “Look, Conall, I like my job. I like being here on the ranch and you Donovans are excellent people to work for. But I don't appreciate the fact that you're trying to…extort sex from me! I'm not that needy. Like I told you, I can easily get a job at the casino at Ruidoso Downs and—”

“Extort sex from you! What are you talking about?”

His interruption whipped her head up. “Why, yes, isn't that what this is all about? You want me to quit my job and be your mistress?”

With a groan of disbelief, he clasped his hands over both her shoulders. “Oh, Vanessa, I'm sorry. I must be doing this all wrong. I don't want you to be my mistress. I want you to be my wife.”

I
f he'd not been holding on to her, Vanessa was sure she would have fallen straight backward and onto the floor of the gazebo.

“Your wife!” she said in a shocked whisper. “Are you…out of your mind?”

There was no smile on his face, no glimmer that he was anywhere near teasing.

“Not in the least. The twins need a father. And you and I…well, we obviously get on together. I think it's the perfect solution for all of us.”

Stunned, she rose to her feet and walked to the other side of the gazebo. In her wildest imaginings, she'd not expected this from Conall. Twenty years ago, when she'd viewed him as a knight on horseback, she'd fantasized how it would be to receive a kiss from him, or even go on a date with him, but even her fantasies had known
when and where to stop. Men like Conall didn't marry women like her.

She heard his footsteps approaching her from behind and then his hands came to rest upon her shoulders. As their warmth seeped into her skin, she closed her eyes and wondered why she suddenly wanted to weep.

“Vanessa, what are you thinking?”

Her throat was aching, making her voice low and strained. “I'm…very flattered, Conall. But marriage needs to be more than a solution.”

His sigh rustled the top of her hair. “I'm trying to be practical, Vanessa. Marriage—making a family together—would be good for all four of us.”

Maybe it would, she thought sadly, but what about love? He'd not mentioned the word, but then he hardly needed to explain his feelings. She already understood that he didn't love her.

Turning, she demanded, “How would it be good for you, Conall?”

His arms slipped around her waist and drew the front of her body up against his. “Just having you next to me would be good,” he murmured.

She groaned as a war of wanting him and needing his love erupted inside of her. “I'm sorry, Conall, but it hasn't been that long since I got out of a horrible marriage. I don't want to jump into something that…well, I'm just not sure about.”

He frowned. “Do you think I'm taking this whole thing lightly? That I proposed to you on impulse? Hell, Vanessa, my marriage turned out to be a nightmare. For a while after the divorce I tried to date again, to find a woman I could build a relationship with. But the past refused to let that happen so I finally gave up trying.
So if you think you're the only one who has a corner on being hurt by a spouse, then think again.”

“That's exactly why this is all so crazy!” she exclaimed. “Why would you want to marry a divorced woman with two newborns when…”

“Finish what you were going to say, Vanessa. When…?”

Pressing her lips together, she looked away from him. Through the lattice covering the side of the gazebo, she could see the lights of the party twinkling through the pine boughs. Shrieks of laughter were coming from the pool and closer to the house she could hear several voices singing “Happy Birthday” to Kate. The fact that Conall had chosen this night to propose to her while his family was celebrating seemed surreal.

Biting back an impatient curse, she turned away from him. “Don't play dumb with me, Conall. It doesn't suit you at all. You know what I was about to say. You're a Donovan. You don't have to go around looking for a woman to marry. All you have to do is get the word out and they'll come running to you. You certainly don't have to settle for your secretary.”

His face stony, he caught her by the shoulder and spun her back around. “Why are you doing your best to insult me and yourself? Me being a Donovan has nothing to do with us marrying!”

Amazed, her head swung back and forth. “Conall, that's a fact that can't be buried or swept under the rug!”

His nostrils flared. “Why do you think so little of yourself?”

Tears were suddenly burning her eyes. “Because…oh, you can't understand anything, can you? I've already
had one husband who didn't love me! Do you honestly think I want another?”

Before he could answer, she twisted away from him and dashed out of the gazebo. As she hurried along the lighted footpaths, she did her best to stem the hot moisture threatening to spill onto her cheeks.

She'd made a fool of herself, she thought bitterly. Of course, Conall couldn't understand her reaction to his proposal. He couldn't know that she loved him and, perhaps, had always loved him. She was just now beginning to realize that herself.

 

At one time in his life, long before he'd learned of his sterility, Conall had been comfortable with women. As very young men, Liam had struggled to converse with the opposite sex, while Conall had instinctively known exactly what to say or do to make a woman adore him. Long before he'd met Nancy, he'd dated a lengthy list of beauties and he could safely say that each of the relationships had eventually ended on his terms, not his partner's. Whether his success with women had been partly due to his being a Donovan was a question he'd not considered that much. Until last night when Vanessa had flung the fact in his face.

Obviously he'd lost his touch. Or maybe the long marriage battle he'd endured with Nancy had taken away his innate ability to deal with a woman. Whatever the reason, he'd clearly done everything wrong when he'd proposed to Vanessa last night.

Glancing at his watch, he noted it was a quarter to eight. Normally Vanessa had arrived by now. Especially on a Monday. But he'd not heard any stirrings in the outer office and he was beginning to wonder if she'd decided to skip work altogether today. Or maybe she
was going to quit and was planning to call and let the gavel drop on him.

Thrusting fingers through his dark hair, he pressed fingertips against his scalp. Tiny men were pounding sledgehammers just beneath his skull, a result of drinking too many beers last night after Vanessa had taken the babies and gone home, he thought grimly. He'd never been one to indulge in alcohol, but after the fiasco in the gazebo, he needed some sort of relief. Now he was paying for it with a doozy of a headache.

A hard knock on the doorjamb had him wincing and he glanced around to see Liam striding into his office.

“What's with all the roses in Vanessa's office? Did someone break into a florist shop this morning or something?” he asked.

With an awkward shrug, Conall admitted, “I broke into Grandma's rose garden. I knew it would be useless to drive to town and try to bribe a shop owner to open up and deliver this morning.”

His brows arched with curiosity, Liam glanced over his shoulder toward the outer office. “I didn't realize your secretary was that important to you. What is today, secretary's day or something? If it is, Gloria is out of luck.”

Conall grunted. “The only thing Gloria ever expects from you is win photos to put on the wall behind her desk.”

“That's all?” he countered with sarcasm. “It would be a hell of a lot easier to raid Grandma's flower garden and blame it on the gardener.”

Conall walked over to the coffeepot and refilled his mug. “Coffee?” he asked his brother.

“No. I'm in a hurry. I'm missed you at breakfast, so
I wanted to let you know I was shipping Red Garland to Del Mar today, along with a few others.”

He looked around at Liam. “To Del Mar? Now?”

Liam rolled his eyes with impatience. “Have you forgotten she's entered in the Debutante? That's only a month away and I want her to get accustomed to the Pacific climate and the Polytrack before race time.”

Actually it had slipped Conall's mind that the filly would be traveling to the west coast to run in the prestigious race at one of the most famous tracks in California. “Sorry, brother, I guess the time has slipped up on me.”

“Geez, Conall. What's going on with you? From the moment she was born Red Garland has always been your darling. And you've forgotten about her first stakes debut?”

Conall had been in the foaling barn, watching when Red Garland entered the world. Only hours later, the baby girl had left her mother's side to investigate Conall's outstretched hand and something about her trust had touched him, had gotten to him in a way no human ever had. Since then, she'd grown up to be an outstanding runner that had quickly stunned race fans with her ability to outdistance herself from the rest of the pack. Conall was extremely proud of her. He was also very attached to the filly. Something he normally didn't allow himself to be with the horses they raised and raced.

Conall glanced at his brother's incredulous expression. “Maybe you haven't noticed but I've had a lot going on here lately,” he said, then shoved out a heavy breath. “Anyway, I'm glad you came by to say you were leaving. I…well, I'll be honest, I hate for her to be shipped all the way to California.”

Liam frowned. “Why? We ship horses out there all the time.”

Conall felt like a soppy idiot. “I know. It's just that…anything might happen. That Polytrack surface is unpredictable.”

“So is the dirt.”

“She might hurt herself. With an injury that could end her career or even kill her,” Conall pointed out, even though both men were already well aware of that fact. “But you're the trainer. You know what she can handle best.”

Liam shook his head. “Hell, Conall. You're my brother. I don't want to do anything against your wishes.”

With a self-effacing grunt, Conall placed his coffee mug on the edge of the desk. “What's the matter with me, Liam? I've never gotten this soppy over any of our horses before. I've never let myself. Because…well, we both know anything can happen to lose them.”

“Sometimes something or someone comes along to remind us we're not machines,” Liam said thoughtfully, then added, “I'll scratch Red Garland from the Debutante and leave her here. We'll lose the entry fee, but what the hell. She's already won that much a thousand times over.”

“No, she's going,” Conall said with sudden firmness. “She deserves her chance to be great.”

A wry smile touched Liam's lips. “Well, she stands a good chance to win a pile of money.”

“Yeah. But money isn't everything,” Conall replied.

Liam grunted in agreement. “Sometimes it doesn't mean anything at all.”

Satisfied that things were settled with the situation,
Liam turned to leave the room, but before he disappeared out the door, Conall called to him, “Thanks, again, Liam. For coming by and reminding me about Red Garland's race. Will you be following the horses out today or tomorrow?”

“Today and I'm taking three grooms with me.”

Conall lifted his hand in farewell. “Travel safely and I'll see you when you get back.”

“You want to drive to the airport and see Red Garland off this afternoon?” Liam asked in afterthought.

“No. I'd rather meet her there when she gets back.”

With a nod of understanding, Liam left the office and Conall forced himself to sit down at his desk.

Five minutes later, he heard the outer door to the office open and close and then Vanessa's light footsteps cross the tile. Normally, she went straight to the closet they shared to store away her purse and whatever sort of wrap she was wearing but so far the closet hadn't opened.

He forced himself to wait another minute before he walked through the open door and into her section of the office. He found her standing in front of the desk, staring at the massive vase of pink roses he'd left for her.

Upon hearing his approach, she whirled around to face him. “What are these?”

Conall walked toward her. “Roses. To say I'm sorry if I hurt you last night. I didn't mean to. I didn't have any idea a marriage proposal would be so harrowing to you.”

Bending her head, she closely examined the petals on the tea roses. “I'll be honest, Conall, I considered not coming to work this morning. But I didn't want Fiona to have to fill in for me. So I made myself drive over
here.” Turning slightly, she leveled her brown eyes on him. “I'm sorry, too, Conall. I overreacted about you—about everything. I was expecting too much from you. I realize that now.”

Relieved that she no longer appeared angry, he walked over to her. “I'm glad you're here,” he confessed. “And if you don't want to talk about things right now, we won't.”

Her glaze flickered away from his face and back to the roses and Conall was struck by how very beautiful she looked this morning. Her hair was swept up and off her neck, while a heavy fringe fell in a smooth curtain over one eyebrow. Her dress was white, the neckline fashioned in a deep V. Faint freckles dotted her chest and lower down a hint of cleavage teased his senses. The pale pink color on her lips reminded him of a seashell and he realized he'd like nothing better than to kiss the shimmery color away, kiss her until her lips were ruby-red and swollen.

“There's nothing to talk about,” she said wearily. “I can't marry you.”

Desperate to touch her, he planted his hands on either side of her waist. “Listen, Vanessa, I have no idea what happened in your marriage or what kind of man your husband was, but please don't compare me to him.”

To his surprise she laughed with disbelief. “Oh, Conall, you can't imagine how…well, how opposite you are from Jeff. He didn't have an ounce of ambition. He was perfectly content to let me support him.”

Trying to understand, he shook his head. “I'm guessing you didn't know this about him before you married?”

Grimacing, she stepped away from him. “Of course I didn't! When I first met him he was doing contract
electrical work for the casino where I was employed. At that time he owned a small building company and he and his men had more jobs than they could handle. He made very good money, plus he was from a nice respectable family that had resided in Bullhead City for many years. There was nothing about Jeff that warned he would turn out to be a deadhead.”

She started into his office and Conall followed her to the coffee machine. As she poured herself a mug and stirred in a measure of half-and-half, he couldn't stop himself from asking, “When did you learn he was less than ambitious.”