Daddy Long Stroke (21 page)

“Word on e'erything I love.”

“Damm,” I say. “You go ghost 'n shit for months, then pop up outta nowhere full of surprises.”

He laughs. ”Whatever, muhfucka. You wit' me on this or what?”

“No doubt, dawg. I got you.”

“That's what it is. I knew I could count on you.”

“No doubt. You know how we do.”

“Mos def. Listen, I gotta dip. I'ma hit you up in a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I say jokin'ly. “Muhfucka, the last time you said that shit, I ain't hear from ya pussy-whipped ass for almost six months.”

“Don't be jealous, baby,” he says, laughin'. “You know you still my number one nigga. But I rather be pussy whipped than havta be stuck fuckin' with ya ugly, black ass.”

“Fuck outta here wit' that bullshit,” I say, crackin' up. “Let me borrow ya grandmother for a few days, then let's see how ugly and black she thinks this dick is.”

“Yeah, muhfucka, right after you let me borrow yours.” We laugh and bullshit a few more minutes, then hang up. I lay back 'cross my bed, dazin' up at the ceilin' wonderin' how the hell Red's girl got him to give up all his hoes. I mean, she's bad as hell… but, damn. She got that nigga talkin' 'bout marriage 'n shit.
She must got some good-ass pussy,
I think, shakin' my head, smilin'.
Or her muthafuckin' head game must be off the damn chain.
I think about it a few more minutes, wonderin' if a cat like me had it in him to be on some exclusive shit wit' a chick.
Nah, fuck that! Good pussy or not. A muhfucka like me ain't goin' out like that. I'ma always be long strokin' more than one ho.
I roll over onto my side, and before I know it, I'm knocked the fuck out.

 17 

Yo, I'm watchin' this flick
Cover
, wit' Vivica Fox and that cat Leon. For a straight-to-DVD joint it isn't bad, but… man, listen. This muhfucka is on some real extra shit, fuckin' another muhfucka and he's married. What kinda bullshit is that? I don't knock no one for doin' what they do, and bein' who they are, real talk. But a muhfucka suckin' and fuckin' another nigga—when you got a chick in ya life, is some straight bullshit, for real, yo. That shit is disrespectful, dangerous and grounds for a bullet straight to ya muthafuckin' dome for frontin' on her, and puttin' her life at risk, feel me? Shit like this gets a muhfucka hot, for real, yo.

Punk-ass nigga
, I think, shakin' my head. I can't even finish watchin' this shit. I light a blunt, and turn it off, then hit the remote to my stereo, and turn on my computer. Plies' “Excuse My Hands” blares through the speakers as I wait for my PC to boot up. I click on Internet Explorer to surf the web, then hit up my BlackPlanet, Facebook and Myspace pages. When I'm done goin' through all the bullshit notes, I decide to check the emails on my AOL account. As soon as I log on, the IM's start poppin' up. I shake my head. These some real hungry-ass hoes tonight, I think, iggin' most of 'em. But the one who gets my attention tonight is the older chick from BlackPlanet. We've been emailin' back and forth a few times, but this is the first time she actually IM's me. I wanna fuck the shit outta her, word up.

DrSweetPussy: Hello

DaddyLongStroke: What's poppin', pretty baby?

DrSweetPussy: *blushing*

DaddyLongStroke: Come on, baby. Don't get shy on a nigga

DrSweetPussy: Not shy; just embarrassed

DaddyLongStroke: Embarrassed? Why?

DrSweetPussy: That I'm doing this

DaddyLongStroke: Doin' what?

DrSweetPussy: This. Talking to you. Thinking about cheating on my husband

DaddyLongstroke: Well, isn't that what u've been lookin' for? A little side action in ya life?

DrSweetPussy: Yeah

DaddyLongStroke: Well, don't get scared now, baby. I ain't gonna hurt ya.

DrSweetPussy: LOL. I'm not scared; just confused

I take two pulls from the blunt. Hold the shit in my lungs, then slowly blow it out. Confused? Give me a fuckin' break! Obviously, the bitch ain't gettin' what she needs at home 'cause if she was, she wouldn't be all up on BlackPlanet 'n shit prowlin' for dick. And she damn sure wouldn't be emailin' and IM-in' muhfuckas. Her ass ain't gettin' dicked right, and she wants a muhfucka wit' a strong back and long dick to beat that shit up for her. And I'm just the man for the job. So what the fuck she confused about?

DaddyLongStroke: What u confused about?

DrSweetPussy: Maybe confused is the wrong word. More anxious than confused

DaddyLongStroke: About?

DrSweetPussy: Meeting u

DaddyLongStroke: Meetin' me should be the least of your worries, I think. Whether or not you can handle a Mandigo stud should be. What kinda dr are u?

DrSweetPussy: A psychologist

DaddyLongStroke: Aaah shit. An educated freak

DrSweetPussy: LOL

DaddyLongStroke: I've slayed a lotta professional chicks, but a psychologist is gonna be my first

DrSweetPussy: *smiling* hopefully, it'll be a good experience for the both of us

DaddyLongStroke: I'm sure it will be. Tell daddy some of ya fantasies, baby

DrSweetPussy: Umm, well, I fantasize about having sex in public, like on a beach with everyone watching. Other times I fantasize about speeding down the turnpike being completely naked and masturbating in my convertible.

DaddyLongStroke: Damn, baby. Sounds hot! What else?

DrSweetPussy: Being in the middle of a circle with a group of men jerking off while I'm playing in my vagina and watching them all stroke their penises over me. Then when they are ready to ejaculate, they cum all over me.

Vagina? Penises? Ejaculate? What the fuck?!? I take two more pulls. Allow the weed smoke to fill my lungs. This bitch gonna haveta come better than this. A nigga like me ain't beat for all that proper shit. She's gonna haveta bring it wit' lil' more raunch and wit' a lil' more filth than this bullshit, if she wanna get this dick hard. I blow out smoke and continue typin'.

DaddyLongStroke: Dig, what's up wit' all the proper talk? Loosen up, baby. Give it to me raw! Give it to me nasty, baby! Tell me how u wanna get that pussy rocked. How u wanna have a bunch of muhfuckas nut all over u. I need it uncut, ma, feel me?

DrSweetPussy: lol, I think I do. I'm just not accustomed to talking like that

DaddyLongStroke: Well, do u at least think it?

DrSweetPussy: Sometimes

DaddyLongStroke: Then let ya'self go. U can be free wit' me, baby. Unleash the freak in u

DrSweetPussy: Letting go is kinda new to me. I've been with the same man for over twenty years

DaddyLongStroke: Sorry to hear that

DrSweetPussy: lol, don't be. It hasn't been that bad

DaddyLongStroke: Okay, if you say so. Yo, dig, baby. I ain't beat for all this IM shit. U need to hit me up on the phone so we can talk. 973-555-0011. I wanna hear that sexy voice of yours.

DrSweetpussy: And who should I ask for?

DaddyLongStroke: Daddy Long Stroke. Thought u knew.

I close out the IM screen before she can respond back and shut off my laptop, pickin' up my cell and callin' Akina. She answers on the fourth ring, soundin' all outta breath 'n shit. “Hey, stranger.”

“What's poppin', baby? Why you all outta breath?”

“I was working out,” she says, soundin' like she has an attitude.

“Oh, word. For a minute I thought you was somewhere gettin' ya fuck on.”

She sucks her teeth. “Yeah, right. The only fucking going on is with these fingers 'cause you too busy avoiding a bitch for anything else to happen.”

I laugh. “Oh, what, you upset?”

“Nigga, puhleeze, you wish. I'm horny as hell, and want some dick.”

I laugh. Although she's always sayin' she's gettin' it in wit' other muhfuckas, if she is, I know they ain't puttin' in no real work. 'Cause if they were she wouldn't be pressed 'bout me standin' her ass up. But, no matter who else she's fuckin', Akina's the type of dick-hungry chick that'll keep my dick stuck up in her if I'd let her. “Oh, you want me to run this dick up in you?”

“What you think, nigga? I haven't seen you since you got back from Atlanta. Do you know how long ago that was?”

“Yeah, it's been a minute.”

“Exaaactly. And then you straight played me last week when you had me up in here with a wet pussy waitin' for ya black ass to come through to serve me. Then ya ass never returned my fuckin' calls.”

I hold back a laugh. “Yo, ma, on some real shit, I'm sorry 'bout that. The night I was 'posed to come through I ended up goin' to the gym. And by the time I got home, a nigga was beat. I took a hot shower, smoked a blunt, then knocked the hell out.”

“Mmm-hmm, if you say so.”

“Why you say it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you don't believe me or some shit.”

“Humph. I know how you niggas do, especially your nasty ass.”

Here this horny bitch goes
. She's tight 'cause a nigga ain't banged her pussy up in a minute. And now her ass goin' through wit'drawals 'n shit. “Yo, go 'head wit' that dumb shit. You know my situation. A nigga's been busy. Since I got back, shit's been real hectic.”

“Hmmm, you are so full of shit. Too hectic for you to at least pick up the phone and hit a bitch up? Hell, text or something. You sure you were in Atlanta with your grandmother and not some other bitch?”

“What?”

“You heard me,” she snaps.

“Yo, hol' up,” I say, gettin' defensive, “since when you start tryna check for a muhfucka?”

“I'm not checkin' for you. I'm askin' you a question.”

“Well, why'd you ask me some shit like that?”

“'Cause I know you better than you think,
Alley Cat
.” I sigh. “You sneaky as hell. And I'm hopin' you didn't have me foot the bill for you to be runnin' ya dick up in some other bitch. 'Cause if you did I'ma be pissed the fuck off.”

“Yo, hol' the fuck up. I can't believe you comin' at me wit' that bullshit. What the fuck I gotta be sneaky about? You ain't my muthafuckin' girl 'n shit.”

“That's already been established, nigga,” she says, suckin' her teeth. “So you don't have to keep sayin' the shit. Nigga, you do you. But don't play me, either. You get pussy and throat anytime you want it; just keep shit real with me. Were you in Atlanta fucking some other bitch on my dime?”

“What kinda muhfucka would lie 'bout some shit like that?”

“A muthafucka who doesn't give a fuck about no one else but himself would. So answer the question. Were you out there fuckin' some bitch at my expense?”

I get silent. I'm thinkin',
this bitch is muthafuckin' crazy tryna check for me.

“Oh, why you getting all quiet 'n shit on a bitch? You got something on ya mind?”

“Nah, yo. But you know what; it's all good. I'ma get ya money to you next week.”

She sucks her teeth. I smile, knowin' that's not what she wants. As usual, I flip the script. “You're missing the point, Alex. I don't want the money. If you need something, I told you, I got you. I just don't want you lying to me, or taking money from me to sponsor any of ya excursions to fuck some other bitch, that's all.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…I hear you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, nothing, nigga. I'm dead-ass.”

“Listen, I'm not tryna hear all that, right now. I want some pussy.”

“Then come get it, muhfucka.”

I grin. “I'm on my way.”

An hour later, I'm at Akina's spot. I have her on her back wit' her legs bent and spread open, and my face is buried between her
silky, caramel-colored legs. I'm suckin' and lickin' and slurpin' the fuck outta her fat, juicy-ass pussy. On some real shit, if I was into bustin' down a bitch raw, I would paint my nut all up in her suga walls. When I tell you this ho gotta pretty pussy…man, listen, she got that goody-good-thang-thang, word up. She got the kinda pussy that should be molded and sold to muhfuckas. It's a perfect heart-shaped pussy wit' full, pouty outer lips. And her inner pussy lips don't droop or hang, like a buncha flappin' skin. I hate nuthin' more than lookin' at an ugly-ass pussy. All stretched and weathered and worn the fuck out, lookin' like it's been beat up and fisted by King Kong. That shit's disgustin', feel me?