I took the top off the one in front of me,
“Close, toasted cheese and tomato soup.”
Everyone laughed and dug in.
Jeffery George stuck around an hour after
his shift showing me the computer system. I looked up when I heard
someone come in, it was Carly.
I smiled, “Welcome to Fit First.”
“I need an hour of ass busting,” Carly
laughed as she slid her membership card through the card
reader.
“Well you came to the right place, we are
all about asses in here,” Christoff smiled.
“You new here?” Carly laughed.
“Nah, just trying to teach this one the
ropes, my shift ended an hour ago.” Christoff gave her a broad
pearly white smile.
“Can I give you a ride home when I’m
done?”
“Well, we just met but you’re a beautiful
woman,” Christoff handed her a bottle of water, “Go bust that
ass.”
Carly’s face was beat red and she looked at
me and I couldn’t help but smile, “I think she was talking to me
Christoff.”
“One can dream can’t he? That being said, I
am gonna take my broken heart and head home, see you in the
morning?”
“Can’t wait. Thanks so much Christoff,” he
kissed my cheek and walked out the door.
Carly finally closed her mouth, “Who is
that?”
“My new boss, I think I love him.”
“Isn't there, rules or something about that
sort of stuff?” Carly’s face turned even more red.
“There is, but I’m not his type—neither are
you.”
“Oh…ohhhh, good. I mean not good because he
is beautiful and if you wanted to date him well…”
I laughed again and used my best southern
accent, “Go bust that ass, Mrs. Steel.”
When we walked out Cyrus was getting out of
a car, not the Jeep, a black sports car of some sort.
His face fell a bit when he saw me and
Carly, “Are you supposed to ride home with him?”
“Honestly Carly, I have no idea.”
“Good afternoon ladies,” Cyrus gave us a
grin and I smiled, “Can I give you a ride home Tara?”
“Umm well Carly…”
“Can
I
give you a ride home
Tara?”
“I have to run and get Bella anyways, go
ahead I’ll stop back tomorrow.”
“Okay, thanks Carly, tell her I said
hello.”
Cyrus watched as Carly got in the car and
pulled away. He didn’t look at me, he turned and opened the door
for me, “You ready?”
You know when you have to do something
because it’s the right thing to do even if it isn’t what you want
to do? Well right now was one of those times.
I sat down and looked over at Tara, “You
wanna drive?”
She was looking out the window turned away
from me but I saw her smile, “No thank you.”
I started the car and revved the engine,
“You sure, she’s pretty fast and not stick.”
“Did you tell Jase about the ticket?” she
looked at me for a few seconds and then away.
“Nope, you didn’t tell Carly did you?”
“I forgot all about it until just now.”
“You gotta promise me you won’t.”
“She wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
“I know, look yesterday-- I’m real sorry
about yesterday Tara,” I waited for her to look at me and she
didn’t.
“Me too.”
“You didn’t do shit Tara, just …listen, you
and I need to talk. Things are crazy right now so I can’t give it
the time it needs but we need to have a real talk. You’ve trusted
me with so much. You just fuck with me so hard. My ink has always
been mine, you look at it and see shit that’s mine, my issues, shit
that I’m nowhere near the point in my life that I’m ready to share
and I may never be. You’re sweet as hell, fucking gorgeous, and a
damn good person. I have spent a week sleeping in the same bed as
you. Waking up to you watching me, trying to figure me out and I
can’t have that. I made a promise to you, to me, and after I fixed
that tattoo every one was fulfilled. I was a dick because I didn’t
want to be done. I was a tool about the keys. I think I was trying
to convince myself that you weren’t ready to be on your own, that
you couldn’t keep yourself safe. So I fucking tried to make you
feel it was your fault, that’s not a friend, that’s not nothin’ but
fucking sick. I’m a bad dude Birdie I told you I’m not a good man,
I’m not even a good friend.” She wiped her face and I wanted to
hold her and that’s why this shit needed to stop.
“Can you look at me?” She shook her head no.
“Alright I deserve that. Listen you are one of the strongest people
I know. To live what you’ve lived and to still have a heart, a big
heart Birdie: one that’s full of life and opened to true happiness.
That’s what I want for you, alright.”
She wiped her face and finally looked at me,
“I want that for you too, you are a good man Cyrus…”
“Please don’t make this…look I have to go to
the shop and sit through interviews tonight, all fucking night and
tomorrow after work I do the same. Wednesday we bury Charlotte.
After the funeral, I wanna take you to dinner and tell you some
shit okay. Then Thursday I’m heading to Italy for a while to make
sure the security is up to snuff at the casino Zandor has been
working on for a year.”
I could see her eyes getting huge and I
lifted her chin, “When I get back maybe we can hang out?”
She looked angry, hurt, confused, and then
she smiled, a fake ass smile but a smile just the same, she shook
her head yes.
I pulled up to the townhouse and she was out
the door and up the steps before I even shut the door. She was
checking her pockets on her coat when I stood next to her. Two
seconds of silence before she started crying.
“Forget the code?”
“I’m sorry, I must have left it…the phone at
work, I am so sorry.”
I punched in the code and opened the door,
“Last four digits of your social Birdie.”
She walked in and looked up at me, lip
quivering and tears fallin’, “I don’t even know it. See? I do still
need you.”
Her little arms wrapped around my waist and
she cried so yeah I held her, “No Birdie, you’ll be fine. You got
this girl.”
It was about five full minutes before she
let go. She lifted her shirt and wiped her face, “You have
interviews. You’re right I’ll be fine, thank you for the ride and
for everything.”
She practically pushed me out the door,
“I’ll pick you up for work?”
She shook her head no and I nodded yes,
“Okay, yes. Please. Go Cyrus, you’ll be late.”
I get in the car and turn it on and
Siren
by Pearl Jam plays. I needed to get the hell away.
~
I walked into
Forever Steel
and the
waiting area was packed, we hadn’t even talked about what we were
looking for yet. Zandor saw me and motioned me back.
“Where the hell did we advertise?”
“
The Inked Boys
, some facebook page
Kat drools over,” Zandor laughed.
“Help wanted on a fan page?”
“Worked man, some of these people are
fucking talented as hell.” Zandor grabbed a notebook and shoved it
at me, “Try to look a little more like an ‘I give a shit business
owner’ and less like a love sick puppy dog man.”
“Fuck off, Zandor.”
“What? You’re running away from home bro,
that shit’s not normal for you over a piece of ass.”
Zandor was right, so much talent. We went at
it for four hours. Each person drew us a picture of something that
inspired them and each showed some ink. Yeah lots of tits tonight
and not one of them was half as appealing to me as Birdie’s.
We were cleaning up when a blond bombshell
ran up to the desk carrying her heels, “Sorry I’m late, the
directions killed me.”
She smiled brightly at Kat, “Come back
tomorrow.”
“I have an internship interview tomorrow
can’t y’all just fit me in? I promise I’m worth a little bit of
trouble.”
“I bet she is,” Zandor nudged me and I
rolled my eyes.
“What’s your name kitten?” Zandor walked up
to her.
“My name is Bekah, Bekah George.”
“Well beautiful Bekah George, please tell me
where that sexy little drawl stems from,” Zandor was blatantly
looking her up and down.
“Why Gainesville, North Carolina sugar,” she
winked.
“I’ll give you a minute, I may even give you
an hour after if you’re up to it,” Zandor kissed her hand.
Watching Zandor interview her was like
watching porn, and she was no different, they word fucked each
other.
“She’s in,” Zandor said as she walked out
and then turned back and blew him a kiss.
“Z she’s not all that great.”
“Did you see the tits on her Cyrus? And the
ass? Fuck-- I could sink it in that thing. If I close my eyes tight
and concentrate real hard I can see and hear my balls smacking that
full round ass. She’ll learn, she’ll learn a hell of a lot more
than she would ever imagine.”
“Sexual harassment man, can’t chance it
Z.”
“Total separate entity Cyrus. This place is
untouchable. Trust me-- I went through the training…twice.
Forever Steel
is my playground always has been. I’m gonna
fuck the shit out of that sassy little southern bell. I’m gonna
tame her Cyrus.”
“Sure, fine, whatever. That’s your shit
Z.”
“Then you stay the hell out of the room at
the end of the hall when you get to my place in Italy.”
Zandor laughed and we walked out the
door.
When I pulled out of my driveway the next
morning I got a text. She was gonna run. She would text me that she
was there safely.
The day was a blur. Travel documents,
meetings scheduled, making sure George had everything he needed.
Making sure George took care of everything I needed him too. I
wasn’t leaving her hanging. But I couldn’t fuck her up any more
than I already had.
I pulled into
Fit Forever
just in
time to see she and Carly walking out of the gym. I slowed down and
waited to see if she noticed me and she didn’t but I was damn sure
she was thinking about me cause I sat and watched as Carly’s arms
surrounded her and Birdie’s fucking knees buckled, she was shaking,
crying and I was pretty sure I knew why. This is exactly why I
needed to step the fuck off. She was a damn good girl, and deserved
more than I could ever offer.
I turned around and headed to the shop.
We got through another three hours of
interviews and sat at the table going through the pile of
candidates. I didn’t want to give a shit but this place, this place
would take nothing but the best, it deserved it.
Rico and Kat would alternate weekends off
which pleased them both. They had been getting a weekend a month
off and either a Saturday or Sunday unless they asked otherwise. We
chose three college kids that had a shit load of talent to work a
couple nights and every weekend. All four of us decided we needed
one more full time employee for our busiest days Thursday, Friday,
and Saturday. I pushed for this dude named Toad and Zandor was hell
bent on that curvy Blonde southern chick.
“Bro-- Daisy Duke has no experience, Toad
was a walking advertisement for this place. The fact that most of
his ink was done by himself shows mad skill.”
“Bekah could draw, she’d be amazing.”
“Yeah maybe with a few years of experience
Zandor.”
“She has to start somewhere. I will
personally…”
“I bet you will,” I couldn’t help but laugh
and so did Rico, Kat—not so much.
“Compromise: she can man the desk nights,
when we aren’t busy she can shadow. We give her easy shit.”
“So two more full time positions? Are you
out of your mind?”
“No, not at all. It was five of us plus Kat
and Rico for the first two years of Forever Steel. People are
booking months in advance waiting for us to have free time…”
“For
us
Z, waiting for us,” I
reminded him.
“Not true, Rico your big tat’s clients who
request you, how far ahead are you booking?”
“Six months, we just can’t keep up Cyrus and
we try, real fucking hard,” Rico rubbed his spiky brown curls, “I
can’t even get a damn hair cut dude.”
“Cyrus, we show our clients we trust the new
hires, it’ll be no different. We’ll be pulling more profit. These
two have been real loyal they deserve more…”
“Kat you gonna be nice, maybe learn to
smile,” I snapped a bit and didn’t really mean to.
“Are you?” she snapped back.
“Alright children, corners. Give Rico, Kat,
and I the time to do this Cyrus. You’re heading out anyway.”
“Fine, you deal with Momma. I’m going
home.”
I walked out and across the road, I stood on
the beach and watched the sunset until it was totally and
completely over the horizon. Shit was about to change, everything
was about to change, it already had.
I had successfully avoided any run ins with
the man who I knew I had fallen in love with. A man who told me
every chance he got that he was not good, that he was a bad guy,
and who actually believed he was. What was hard was that when I
went through the past almost two weeks of my life it was he who was
the best man I had ever met. He pushed me to look at myself
differently. He pulled me kicking and screaming out of my darkest
hours. He comforted me and talked me through hurt and anger, and he
listened when a bad man wouldn’t have.
I had spent almost two years with a man who
manipulated me. Tony kept me needing him, thinking without him I
would be nothing. Using me for his own personal gain. He
emotionally ruined me, with the intention of coming out looking
like a hero. Tony physically hurt me as well. But that wasn’t
enough for me to walk away. I often wondered why women who were
beaten didn’t leave. I thought they were weak, even weaker than I.
It wasn’t until that day at the club when Cyrus Steel, the storm of
a man, came in and saved me from what I now know to be worse than
physical abuse. Emotional abuse, words and imposed feelings, those
are what truly beats you down.