Cutter's Hope (33 page)

“C’mere, Sweetheart.” Cutter held a hand down to me where I sat and I took it and got to my feet, he led me to the side of the boat, closer to the shore and brought out his phone. It started ringing on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey Marlin, how’s our girl?”

“Sleeping, she’s rough. I think she’ll get through it. She’s strong like her sister, just in different ways.”

“Thanks,” I said sardonically. I didn’t feel strong. Not in the slightest.

“Hey man, come to the window and give the signal,” Cutter looked down at me and I looked up, a light winked in one of the upstairs windows of an otherwise dark house. I blinked.

“Is that...? Are we?”

“Thanks, Marlin,” Cutter said.

“That you bobbing out there, Cap?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, cool. Night then.”

“Night,” he hung up and pulled me back against his chest, “You’re just a five minute swim away, Baby. Now you both get your wish. She gets her privacy and you get to be close anyways.”

“You seriously just sailed us to my sister’s back door,” I sounded incredulous. I
was
incredulous.

“Technically it’s
my
back door. I mean it is my house…” I slapped him hard in the chest with my uninjured hand and he said “Owe!” and put up his hands to guard himself, though he was laughing, eyes smiling again.

“Why would you do that?” I asked and I was dead serious, I needed to know why.

“Oh hey,” he pulled me into his arms, “I love you, that’s why. Now when you gonna figure out that I’m in this? I want you in my life, to see what the hell can happen when this shit storm dies down. I love your feisty, that you can keep me on my toes. I love that you’re messed up, that no matter how screwed up it gets that you can hold your own,” I snorted and he paused.

“I’ve been doing a damn fine job of that today,” I said bitterly.

“We all reach our breaking point, Baby. You, me, your sister sure, but I like you…
we
like you and raggedy ass bunch of misfits or not, you take a look around at each of us and we all got one thing in common, me, you, Reave and Li’l Bit here… any one of my boys…”

“Yeah, what’s that?” I asked softly.

“We don’t give up. No matter how high the shit piles on, we don’t quit and I
need
a woman like that, a woman like
you
in my life to help me keep these fuckers in line.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I swallowed hard, my heart giving a sharp ache where it felt fractured and splintered.

“Yeah, but why me?”

“You’re beautiful, you’re challenging, and mm, I’d be lying if I said your pussy wasn’t some of the sweetest I ever had,” I choked and laughed.

“Way to ruin it, Casanova.”

Cutter smirked and chuffed a slight laugh, “I’m a rough-around-the-edges bastard.”

“Me, too,” I said and tipped my face up for a kiss, which he gave me.

Reaver cleared his throat, “We good? This mean we can eat, because I’m fucking starv – owe! Hey!” His little Mrs. was slapping him in the chest and shoving at him playfully like I had Cutter the moment before. I searched Cutter’s eyes by the dim light from the boat and he smiled.

“Isn’t there a rule against feeding the animals?” I suggested, arching a brow.

“Yeah, but I don’t really live by civilian rules,” he said and his look held meaning, carried weight.

I dropped my voice and self-consciously glanced at the other couple who were going about getting the gas grill reheated and straightening the place settings from our impromptu sail.

“I busted down the door with the lot of your men and murdered a bunch of human traffickers something like two days ago. I think we’re way past pretending I play by your so-called ‘civilian’ rules at this point, don’t you?” I asked. Cutter smiled broadly.

“Wine with dinner?” he asked.

I scowled, “You asshole.”

He laughed, long and loud and deep and Reaver and Hayden turned to us smiling, their own banter forgotten for the moment. We had a nice meal, and some good conversation, my eyes drifting to shore and just having that house within sight, it did amazing things for my frayed nerves. It really did. Cutter held my casted hand beneath the table, his fingers finding the spaces between mine, like they were always meant to be there. I still couldn’t fathom that this man wanted me but his grand gesture had left little room for doubt. I think it was the thing that tipped me hopelessly over the edge, pitching me into the yawning chasm of being utterly in love with him right back.

I mean if what they say is true, if love means seeing someone and what a mess they can be, how moody they can get, and can handle you no matter how hard you can be to handle? Still wants you in their life anyways? Shit, then whatever was happening was the real deal now wasn’t it? I needed to stop poking at it, stop waiting for the other shoe to drop I mean, I’d earned this a little hadn’t I? Being loved by someone, loving them back, even with the major shit storm of fucked up going on around me and my little family of three?

Cutter shook my hand a bit and I looked up into his warm brown eyes. He smiled then, and in that smile it held such warmth and laughter and light and it said to me,
yes.
Unequivocally
yes,
and I knew then right there that in Cutter I had found my match, my soulmate, if there was such a thing… and I would be damned if I was going to let that go. No, no, no, no, no.

Chapter 38

Cutter

“Hey Reave, let the girls deal with clean up, I need your help man.” I waved him over and opened the storage hatch. I was gonna let him and Li’l Bit have my cabin. It was a nice night, we were in sight of the shore and I figured Hope was tough enough to spend the night under the stars with me. Still, setting up the hammock was much easier with two sets of hands on deck rather than just the one.

Reave set down the stack of plates he was handling and came over. Li’l Bit smiled behind his back and gave me this look with this deep romantic sigh that plainly communicated her love for her man and her happiness for me. I gave her a smile back and caught Hope, watching the exchange, her deep, dark eyes calculating, considering. Finally, she locked gazes with me, and face still neutral, gave me a nod. She was still trying to come to grips with Li’l Bit and what she may or may not mean to me and that was okay. She was doing a pretty fucking stellar job all things considered.

“Come on. I’ll wash, you dry.” Hayden smiled at Hope and led her below decks while Reave and I wrestled the canvas open and laid it flat. The hammock was a big bastard and meant for two and when hooked up right, between the two masts, stable enough to fuck on. I’d done it. I just didn’t want any tonight. No, tonight I wanted to try intimacy with my woman. I think she needed something a little deeper than a few inches of my dick in her puss.

Laughter accompanied the sound of running water out my little galley window and it did my heart some glad.

“She’s kind of a hot mess, you sure?” Reaver asked, but he was smiling, his mannerisms affable.

“I’m sure,” I said, steady and on an even keel, that’s what I felt when I was with Hope. Like there wasn’t anything that could stop us and I was pretty damn sure there wasn’t. We evened each other out, I think. Give and take, push and pull, I was the water to her shore. It was comfortable, even when it was crazy. Okay, it’d been crazy from the word go but I really wanted to see how well we’d mesh when the shit finished dripping from where it’d hit the fan. I saw such a wild potential in ‘us’ and I really wanted an ‘us’ to happen but I’d have to get through those walls first. I could do it. I’d already made it through the first gate.

Reaver and I finished setting up the hammock talking easy about life up north as I caught up with all of the goings on up there.

“Red have her baby?” I asked. Reaver grinned and Li’l Bit squealed from the hatch.

“Oh my God, I forgot to show you!” She came tromping over, bare feet slapping the deck and Hope hung back a little dubious. She wasn’t used to the easy familiarity Li’l Bit exhibited. The casual touching and cuddling us three, Li’l Bit, Reave, and I were into. I held out my hand to Hope and she came to me, almost reluctantly. That hurt a bit. She peered down at the phone with me as Li’l Bit scrolled through pictures of Rev and Red and their little bundle of joy in what appeared to be her pink stocking cap.

“Eden Lorraine Alexander, eight pounds thirteen ounces of adorable baby cuteness,” Li’l Bit was all glowing and excited for her friend and Red looked perfect, happy tears in mama’s eyes while a proud papa looked on.

“She got her dad’s black hair and her mom’s hazel eyes,” I said smiling.

“Mm! I think they’re already working on number two, Rev wants a little slugger. He’s dead set on Dante for the name.” Reaver grinned and leaned against the mast.

“She’s such a good baby, too! Let’s mom and dad sleep through the night for the most part,” Li’l Bit put her phone away.

“That won’t last,” Reaver said and laughed, “Connor did that too the first month or so then it was like someone flipped his switch.”

“You have a kid?” Hope asked, looking from one to the other of them.

“He does, I don’t,” Li’l Bit gave Reaver a charmed smile.

“Connor’s eleven, and if you’d hurry up and get knocked up we’d be good on that front,” he winked at his wife.

“You guys are trying? No shit?” I asked and felt delighted for them. Hope was stiff in my arms and I sensed a talk coming on about rug-rats in our future. I’d never really wanted them myself, something told me there was some emotional baggage there but it didn’t have to be dealt with tonight, she was under enough strain.

“Trying, yeah. Just started really, Doll insisted we talk to Connor first, she wanted to make sure my oldest boy was cool with a little brother or sister, didn’t want to just spring it on him.”

Hope’s tense posture softened a bit at my side. Ah, ha. Some more of the mysterious bits of my girl were unravelling. I kissed her temple and she softened a little more.

“It’s not that late, but it was a long ride and we were up early to make it, I don’t suppose you’d mind if we turned in, would you?” Lil’ Bit’s eyes sparkled with a mischievous light. She knew damned well what she was doing and I was glad for it. I smiled at her.

“Not at all, feel free to take my bunk, I wanted to stay up here with Hope if you don’t mind. Keep an eye on the house with her.”

“Naw, we get it, Man,” Reaver came forward and we clasped hands pulling each other in to tap shoulders before backing off.

“Good deal, man.”

“Good night, Hope,” Li’l Bit smiled at my girl and Hope nodded. She still looked uncertain and it wasn’t a good look for her. I liked it when she was on solid ground and I was pretty sure a good night’s sleep would get her on towards that.

She let out a breath once the hatch shut behind my two friends and her shoulders dropped marginally.

“Doin’ okay, Sweetheart?” I asked softly.

“God, could I look like any more of an asshole?” she groaned palming her face.

I laughed softly, “Probably, but Reave and Li’l Bit, they get it. What I wanna know is what brought on the sudden bout of insecurity from my girl who’s always so sure of herself?” I tugged her gently into my arms and she pointedly wouldn’t look at me, her eyes fixed on the darkened house in the distance.

“Maybe I’m not so sure, Cutter,” she swallowed hard.

“Well, if there’s one thing I
need
you to be sure of, it’s that I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah, why is that?”

“Strip and I’ll show you,” I teased. Hope huffed a laugh and her smile made me smile.

“Truth, that’s why…” I murmured. Her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“What’s why?”

“You smile and I can’t help it, I have to smile too. Now, I was only half joking, I mean it. Get naked. Time for you to relax.”

“Make me,” she challenged, and I smiled again.

“That’s my girl.” I pulled her roughly against me and before she could skate back out of reach I gripped both sides of her short little black shirt dress and pulled, buttons pinging off the deck. Hope groaned and I let the material slide off her body. She wasn’t up for a fight, so she didn’t fight me, which was good.

I placed a palm in the center of her chest and pushed her down, my arm behind her back, lowering her gently to the wide hammock. I knelt between her thighs and had myself some dessert, licking her until she came apart something like twice. Until she gazed up at me, dark eyes hooded with desire and I could sink myself balls deep inside her. But I didn’t want that, no. I wanted her hot mouth on me. I wanted those lips wrapped around my cock while I pressed into the woman’s throat. I wanted it bad, like back in New Orleans.

I pressed my thumb against her mouth and past her teeth and she let me, her tongue hot and velvet. I groaned and grew that much harder as she sucked.

“Fuck Baby, that’s nice…”

“You want me to suck your cock, don’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah, yeah I do… but only if you want to.”

“Yeah, I want to, but there’s a rule this time,” she swallowed nervously, “Don’t force my head down on you, or I swear to fucking Christ I’ll bite you.”

I froze,
shit
, I think I just stepped on a landmine, the echo of an earlier conversation loud in my ears… Her fucking stepdaddy made her cop oral. I’d bet my next haul of Cuban cigars on it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me any of this in New Orleans? In the hotel that first time?”

“I was trusting you, and I don’t always think about it. I was caught up in the moment and the moment was perfect, but now… It just feels like it needs to be said. I’m too close to those memories and I just need you to not force my head. Okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Hope. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” I’d lost my wood. She gently cupped me in her hand and smiled. I cupped her face in my hands and looked deep into her soul.