Cuts Run Deep (8 page)

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Mom hovered over me, a frown on her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled, pushing past her. She’d been following me around since I’d gotten home from school as if she was my goddamn shadow. She couldn’t be any closer if she attached herself with Velcro to my back. Not that she wasn’t always a little overbearing. Being the youngest of three kids had its disadvantages. One of them being that Mom always viewed me as her baby. And it only got worse when my older brother and sister went away to college.

“I still can’t believe it.” She ran her hand over my head, her fingers catching on the strands of my hair. Irritation bubbled inside of me. I wasn’t a little boy. Grunting, I moved away from her, but she didn’t get the hint. Instead she continued scurrying behind me. I left the kitchen where Mom had been forcing food down my throat, and headed back to my room. “It just reminds you how precious life is,” she said.

I walked into my room, shaking my head. “I know, Mom.” Honestly, I didn’t want to be a dick. I knew Mom was trying to process this. Jackson had been a huge part of my life for a long time. Mom had spent a lot of time with him. I was sure this was tough for her. The problem was that I didn’t have it in me to help her or talk her through it. I was shredded, tattered, frayed.

Sighing, her eyes rested on me. In this moment she looked every bit her age. My mom was older than most of my friend’s moms. She and Dad got married later in life and had kids even later. Still she always worked at looking younger, dying her grey roots and wearing makeup to hide her wrinkles. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“I need some time alone,” I told her.

Nodding, she turned and walked out of the room. After closing my bedroom door, I flung myself down on the bed, grateful to finally be alone. Away from prying eyes and questioning glances. Away from suspicion and sad frowns. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was on the verge of losing my shit.

I stared up at the ceiling fan as it whirled around slowly, lazily. Years ago Jackson and I sat on my bed and threw things up at the blades. It was an experiment of sorts to see what object would break and which ones would just fly around the room. With my head in my hands, I sat up. God, it seemed that Jackson even followed me here. I couldn’t get away from him. There was nowhere to go to get away from the memories. They’d find me anywhere.

I had hoped that when school ended I could get a break. But I should have known better. Jackson spent as much time at my house as he had at school. Not lately, but before he met Piper he came over all the time. And when he wasn’t here, he was at Zach’s. The three of us were together so much I never thought anything would separate us.

Jackson and I rarely ever fought. In fact, up until this year Jackson and I had only had one really big fight. It was during football season sophomore year. A freshman named Jeff Whittle joined the team, and he was a complete pansy. All the guys thought so. One afternoon in the locker room we razzed him a little. Nothing major. Just a little initiation of sorts. When Jackson walked in and saw what we were doing, he got pissed. I mean, really pissed.

It’s not like we were going to seriously hurt the guy or anything. We were just having a little fun. But I didn’t bother saying that to Jackson. When Zach tried to defend our actions, Jackson almost punched him. Of course Zach and Jackson got into fights a lot. Jackson didn’t always agree with the things Zach did. Those two were night and day different. Sometimes I found it funny that they were friends. I thought it was more out of habit, to be honest. They’d been friends for so long it was almost like they didn’t know how not to be.

Weeks went by before I could get Jackson to talk to me again. When we did finally hash things out, he told me that he expected that kind of behavior out of Zach, but not me. I understood what he was saying. I was the guy who used to be teased. Then again, that was a long time ago. Because of Jackson I was now part of the popular crowd. It’s not like I forgot what it felt like to be picked on. I just enjoyed being part of the group, and I easily went along with things. I was a follower, plain and simple.

Eventually Jackson forgave me and we moved on. I never teased Jeff anymore though. Not that I had much opportunity to. Dude injured himself two games into the season and had to drop out.

My cell buzzed in my pocket, jolting me back to the present. I dug my fingers down deep into my pocket and snatched the phone out. My stomach plummeted. It was Zach. Answering, I pressed it to my ear.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Just checking on you. Are you doing okay, man?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”
Did everybody see me as fragile?

“Cause you were acting like you were on the verge of jumping off a cliff today, man.”

“I’m fine,” I lied.

“You don’t sound fine,” he said.

Goddamn it, Zach.
He was always a smug know-it-all. Jackson used to say that all the time too.

“Well, do you blame me?” I finally asked.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Zach promised.

“How can you be sure?” I glanced around the room, praying Mom wasn’t listening in.

“Just trust me.”

My stomach knotted. His words did nothing to make me feel better. In fact, they made me feel worse. The only person I’d ever trusted outside of my family was Jackson. And now he was gone. If my fate rested on Zach’s shoulders, I was pretty sure I was going down.

“Tyler?”

I sighed. “Fine. It’s not like I have any other choice but to trust you.”

“Great.” He sounded relieved. “Just be cool, okay?”

“Yeah. Cool.”
Yeah, right.

As I hung up, I assumed Zach was as skeptical as I was about my ability to stay cool and not buckle under the pressure.

Jackson was patient. He held me in his arms waiting for me to tell him the story. Only I couldn’t do it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. Either way, the words were stuck in my throat, lodged between my tonsils. I glanced around my parents’ room, my gaze landing on the safe where Jackson had locked the gun away. It was clear that Jackson was worried about me. Maybe he thought I was planning to use the gun on myself, but I wasn’t going to do that.

Jackson’s hand moved down my arm, his fingers resting on my bracelets. My chest tightened. He was the only person, other than my parents, who knew what was under them.

“Can we go into my room, please?” I asked in a small voice. “I can’t do this in here.” My parents’ room had always seemed sad to me, with its floral comforter and lacy doilies on the dresser. I knew Mom spent most nights alone in here, and it made my stomach ache.

“Of course.” Jackson held on to me, helping me up.

With our hands linked, we made our way to my bedroom. Once inside, Jackson crawled up on my bed, patting the spot on the comforter in front of him.

Hugging myself, I stayed standing. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

Hurt flashed in his eyes. “Okay.” He nodded. “That’s fine. I won’t force you.”

His words pierced my heart. “You won’t?”

“Nope. I’ll never force you to do anything, Piper.”

My heart softened, the walls I carefully built around it crumbling. “He forced me,” I whispered.

“What?”

I held my breath, praying that I wouldn’t have to repeat it.

“Did you just say ‘he forced me’?” Jackson’s face hardened.

I nodded, rubbing my palms up and down my upper arms.

“Who?” He scooted forward, his gaze locked on mine.

“Bentley.” It physically hurt to push his name past my lips.

“Who’s that?”

“A guy I knew back in Cherry Wood. We were sort of involved, I guess.” My heart pinched, remembering how much I liked Bentley when we first met. Not the way I liked Jackson, but pretty close. He seemed so genuine, so nice. But he wasn’t. Not at all. Afterward, I wondered how I’d missed the red flags. They were there. I could pinpoint them once he’d revealed his true colors. But I didn’t see them at first. Probably because I didn’t want to. At first I had worried that I was doing the same thing this time, but I knew Jackson was different. I could feel it in my heart.

Jackson came closer. I looked at his baseball cap, Bentley’s face filling my mind - his cap, his hands, his arms. Shaking my head, I backed away from Jackson. “Can you please take off your hat?”

Jackson’s eyes widened. “Of course.” In one fluid movement he tugged the hat off his head and threw it on the ground. “Are you saying what I think you are?”

I stared into his eyes, my lips quivering.

“Did someone force you to…?” I watched his neck swell as he swallowed. “God, I can’t say it.” Groaning, he ran a hand over his face.

“Yes,” I responded, glad he hadn’t said it.

Jackson’s eyes roamed my body. “Oh, my god. Was it your first time?”

I nodded.

Anguish filled his face. Lowering his head, he glanced down at his hat. “And that asshole wore a hat?” His chest heaved angrily with each word.

I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that simple act could block out the memories.

“Piper.” Jackson’s voice was filled with pain. “Can I touch you?”

Without opening my eyes, I nodded. Then I felt his hands on my arms. He drew me forward, his arms encasing me. Gratefully I fell against him, my cheek pressing against his chest.

“Please tell me that piece of shit is behind bars,” he said, desperation in his tone.

I shook my head.

“Why not?” His words were laced with anger.

“No one believed me. He was the son of a prominent man in our town. He had a great reputation. I didn’t.”

Jackson held me tighter. “Where is he now?”

I stiffened in his arms. “I can’t talk about this anymore. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” He nuzzled my neck with his nose. “Don’t say anything else. I’ve got you, baby. Everything’s okay. I’m going to make sure of it.”

The days following Piper’s confession were hard for me. I wasn’t a mean guy, and I wasn’t the type of guy to get in fist fights. That was more Zach’s style. But ever since she told me what that asshole did to her, I walked around with the urge to slam my fist into someone’s face all the time. Namely Bentley’s face, but I couldn’t get to him. I wasn’t even sure if he was still alive.

When I first heard the rumors about Piper, I had hoped none of them were true. Now I hoped they were. I never wanted someone dead before. But if I ever got the chance, I’d kill that bastard. And I wouldn’t even feel bad about it.

Just the thought of him forcing himself on Piper was enough to get my blood boiling. Frankly, it destroyed me. It’s bad enough to picture another guy touching her willingly. It’s unbearable to think of a guy doing it against her consent. What kind of guy does that?

However, I was careful to keep myself calm around her. The last thing she needed was for me to go ape shit on her. When she told me what happened, she was shaking like a leaf. Her whole body trembled when I wrapped her in my arms. It took a long time before her nerves settled. I’d never seen someone look so scared, so small, so helpless. I hated that he made her feel like that. And I vowed to do everything in my power to make her feel safe, protected.

I don’t want her to ever regret telling me.

At first I think she did. The day after telling me she was hesitant around me, as if gauging whether or not I’d still want to be with her. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it. Nothing could make me not want to be with her. Certainly not the actions of some scumbag. That was not a reflection of her. That was all on him.

And I hated that damn town she came from. How could they not believe her?

I had to know the rest of the story. What happened to Bentley? Where was he now? I needed to find out about him. The desire for information was almost as strong as my hatred for the guy.

But right now I had to focus on Piper. She needed me. Even more than before. It was almost like her confession had cemented us further. She couldn’t stand being away from me at all. And I was more than happy to oblige. Time away from her was painful for me too.

Tyler and Zach were gradually letting me go. Sometimes they cornered me, razzing me about my time with Piper. But mostly it seemed that they’d resigned themselves to the reality of the situation. It was Tanya who was having a hard time getting the hint. Lately she’d been hanging around my locker in between classes, attempting to strike up a conversation. It was weird.

Sure we had dated off and on, but we were never anything solid. And I think it was pretty clear that my relationship with Piper was serious. So why did Tanya act like she was hoping to start things up again? No matter how upfront I was with her, she didn’t let up.

Piper even told me the other day that Tanya invited her to go out with some of the girls this weekend. I was about to tell her ‘hell no,’ but then stopped myself. I wouldn’t tell her what to do. She didn’t need me controlling her. Luckily, though, Piper wasn’t interested in going out with Tanya and her friends. Not that I was surprised. I couldn’t even picture Piper with those girls. She wasn’t like them at all. I’d known Tanya my entire life and, trust me, she had nothing in common with Piper.

But I did feel bad that Piper hadn’t made any friends at Red Blossom High. It angered me that no one had welcomed her at all. I knew our town often snubbed newcomers and outsiders. It was something I’d gotten used to over the years. But watching it happen to Piper put it in perspective for me. It sucked. And it shouldn’t happen. No one deserved to be treated like that. But whenever I brought it up to Piper she would just wave away my concern like it was no biggie. She would say that she had me and that was all she needed. I knew what she meant because I felt the same way. Even though I’d lived in this town my whole life and had a ton of friends, I’d pretty much abandoned all of them to be with Piper. And I didn’t feel lonely.

If anything I felt more fulfilled and content than I ever had in my life.

Besides, we had
Romeo and Juliet
. That kept both of us so busy we hardly had time for anything else. I was grateful for that because it left me less time to stew about Bentley and what he did to Piper.

Still I knew I’d never forget what he did, and soon I’d get the whole story. When I did, I would have a decision to make. I couldn’t let the guy get off scot free. One way or another, he had to pay.