Curvaceous (6 page)

She finally opened Jayson's gift.

She arched a brow, studying the exquisite black lace teddy and body stocking he'd chosen. The two items, sexy and skimpy, would leave her ass and breasts bare.

"Do you like them or are they too much?" he asked.

"Somebody must have been horny as hell when he picked these out."

"They're too much?"

She shook her head. "No. I love them." More, she had a feeling she'd love wearing them for him, only to have him quickly remove them.

"And I love this." He held out his left wrist and for the first time she realized he was wearing the watch she'd bought him.

"Maybe now you won't keep a woman waiting," she teased.

He reached out to stroke his hand over her hair, which hung around her shoulders in a tangled jumble. "I never willingly kept you waiting."

Deciding not to argue the point, she turned her head to brush her lips against his hand.

He responded by cupping his palm on her neck. "So can we do the friends with benefits thing?"

If she had half a brain she'd insist he either openly took her as his woman or stayed out of her life and her bed. But if she did that, she'd end up with nothing but friendship. And after having him love her, that option was unacceptable. At least until she found the strength to kick his ass to the curb.

She sighed and nodded. "Yes, but we have to keep it a secret." The thought of Dave finding out she was allowing Jayson to fuck her while he fucked and pursued other women didn't bear thinking about.

He hesitated before nodding slowly. "It's a deal." He leaned close. "Let's seal it with a kiss and a fuck."

She placed her hand on his cock. "Let's do that."

"Want to start now?"

"Oh, yes," she said, moistening her lips.

He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers.

Returning to her bedroom, they removed their underwear before spending the night making love. He took his time, leisurely caressing and kissing each inch of her body until she felt like the most attractive woman in the world. Each time they climaxed within seconds of each other, she experienced a sense of belonging to him that made it difficult to remember that his interest didn't extend beyond the physical.

With his whispered words of adoration filling her ears and swelling her heart with emotion, she fell asleep thinking she'd received the best Christmas gift ever.

He woke her early the next morning with a warm kiss.

When she yawned and sat up, she saw he was dressed and ready to go. This fucking and running was getting old. "Jay?"

"I know it's early, but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Where are you going?" She frowned and shook her head. "Did you mention a business trip?"

"Yes."

After all the uncertainty and unhappiness of the previous day, she longed to have him stay. "I suppose you have to go?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't go."

"I wish you didn't have to go."

"So do I, but I do. I'll call you every night and I'll be back on New Year's Eve."

His returning on New Year's Eve wouldn't do her much good. Determined not to start the day arguing or feeling sorry for herself, she nodded.

"I have to go. Think about me while I'm gone?"

"Maybe I will," she said.

"Well, I can guarantee that I'll be spending far too much of my time thinking about you," he said.

"You do that."
And make sure you keep your cock in your pants.

"I will," he promised, almost as if she'd spoken aloud.

Sighing, she lifted her face.

He pressed a long, moist kiss against her lips before leaving.

L
eft alone, she lay in the pre-dawn hours, trying to assure herself that she was all right with the relationship she'd agreed to have with him. But by the time she rose and headed for the shower, all the doubts and fears that had plagued her the previous day returned to haunt her.

Several hours later, he texted her to let her know he'd arrived and would talk to her later.

Instead of going out to eat with friends after work, she went home and sat waiting for him to call. Her heartbeat increased and her legs felt weak when she answered the phone and heard his voice. "Hey sweet girl. How was your day?"

She sighed. "Very long. How was yours?"

"Busy, but strangely lonely," he said. "I spent most of it missing you."

She smiled. "Was your day successful?"

"I think so. In any case, it's over now and I have time to talk to you."

She settled more comfortably in her recliner, prepared to spend however much time he had free talking to him. "So do I," she said.

"Great. Hold that thought. I'm going to eat and then I'll call you back?"

She nodded, disappointed he couldn't do both. "Oh. Okay."

"Talk to you soon, sweet girl."

After hanging up, she wandered around her apartment, feeling restless and uneasy until he called ninety minutes later.

Fifteen minutes into the call, he put her on hold to take another call. "I'm sorry," he said when he came back on the line after nearly ten minutes. "That was Mom calling to ask me to pick up her favorite champagne for New Year's Eve."

Cherica bit back the urge to make a snarky remark. He was super sensitive to any perceived criticism of his mother. "Are you looking forward to New Year's Eve?"

"Not really," he said. "You?"

"I'm looking forward to New Year's day more," she said, since they would be spending it together.

"Me too. I have to go," he finally said, after they'd been on the phone for over two hours. "I have an early morning meeting and I'm bushed. I'll talk to you tomorrow night, sweet girl," he said.

"Good night, Jay," she whispered and hung up.

They talked for at least an hour a night for the remainder of his business trip. Although she looked forward to his calls, afterwards, she always felt restless and lonely. Each call left her increasingly unhappy about their decision to conceal the true nature of their relationship from those closest to them.

* * *

J
ayson found concentrating on work difficult each day after talking to Cherica and hearing the unspoken tension and dissatisfaction in her voice. It was clear she wasn't anymore happy on the course they'd agreed on than he was. Because he knew how heavily his mother and sisters depended on him, he'd decided that he'd allow them to enjoy the rest of the holiday season before laying down the law.

He didn't want to let them down, but the thought of possibly losing Cherica to another man prepared to make a real commitment to her, made sleeping at night difficult at best. The knowledge that he would soon acknowledge his feelings for her to his family made the week bearable.

He needed someone to talk to. Most of his male friends would probably tell him he was overthinking things. He needed a woman's perception. Of course he could call Jenn, but although they were friends, she had been trying to push he and Cherica together for years. He wanted an independent viewpoint.

"I know you love your mom and your sisters and want to be there for them, Jayson, but believe me, at some point, you have to take a stand," Maren said one day when he called her instead of going out to lunch.

"It's not as easy as you seem to think it is just to roll up with Cherica on my arm."

"Why not? Why aren't you entitled to love who you love openly?"

"I didn't say I couldn't."

"Haven't you?"

"No. Look. Don't get the wrong, idea, Maren. My mom and sisters want me to be happy and—"

"Do they really?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm asking do they want you to be happy, but only as long as you're happy with a woman with the right skin tone?"

"They're not prejudiced," he said, annoyed.

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is my mom is still shell-shocked from my father leaving us to be with a twenty-year-old blonde."

"Surely, he just left your mom."

"No. He left all of us. Oh, he paid child support, but he basically deserted my sisters and I emotionally as well as physically. We never heard from him except on our birthdays and at Christmas time when he sent money inside generic cards."

"Have you reconnected with him?"

"No and honestly, at this point, I have absolutely no desire to see him ever again."

"Never?"

"Never. He wasn't content to just leave Mom, he had to destroy our family."

"He destroyed your family?"

"Well, he tried, but we survived in spite of him."

" So if he's the guilty party, why are you the one paying for his sins?"

"I'm not paying. I'm—"

"You are if you can't acknowledge the woman you love because she shares the same skin tone as the woman your father deserted his family for. You are if your family refuses to accept the woman you love because she's not completely African American. I know they love you, but they need to love you a little more...just enough to be willing to allow you to follow your heart."

He shook his head, frowning. "I know you mean well, but you've completely misunderstood our family dynamic."

"Have I? I don't think so. I'm sure everyone was hurt by his actions, but I'll bet you're the only one who's still paying. I can tell you don't want to hear this, but because I consider you a friend, I'm going to say it anyway. He was the one who tore your family apart. Not you. I think it's time you considered his debt paid in full and be happy with your Cherica, Jayson."

"I intend to. I just want to let my mom enjoy the rest of the holiday season before I tell her how I feel."

"You're a very considerate son, Jayson. But maybe you should contemplate giving Cherica just a little more attention."

"What do you mean? A few days won't make that much difference to her."

"Maybe not. Or maybe they will. Consider how you'd feel if the shoe were on the other foot and then do what you think best."

"I want to surprise her."

"Oh."

"If you were her..."

"I think I'd rather be told, but you know her. I don't. I'll look forward to seeing you when you return to work. But if you need to talk before then, you know I'll be available to listen."

"I do and I appreciate that. If we don't talk again, Happy New Year, Maren."

"And to you, Jayson."

After his conversation with Maren, Jayson felt annoyed and angry because she'd shown such a lack of consideration for his mother's feelings. Or was he angry because she'd forced him to admit something he'd spent years denying? That he felt as if he had to atone for his father's mistake? Mistake? Maybe his father hadn't considered it a mistake because he loved the woman he'd left his family for. Regardless of the reason his father had left, why should Jayson continue to allow himself to be held hostage to his father's decisions?

With one day to go before he returned home and Cherica sounding more distant every night, he knew he could no longer deny the obvious. Maren was probably right. A few days might make all the difference to her and their relationship.

Instead of calling Cherica, he called his mother.

"Sonny, how nice to hear from you. Are you looking forward to ringing in the New Year as much as your sisters and I are?"

"No," he said. "Actually, I'm not."

"Why not? We always have a great time."

He hadn't enjoyed the tradition for quite awhile. Having acknowledged that and the unrest he suspected was building in Cherica, he knew it was time to make amends to her. "Mom, we need to talk."

"Of course, Sonny. Why don't you come early and we can have a nice chat before your sisters arrive?"

"No, mom. We need to talk now."

"Now? You sound so...Am I likely to want to hear what you have to say?"

"Probably not, but it's long overdue and I need to say it."

"The New Year should always begin as pleasant as possible. Can't it wait for a few days?"

A few days might be too late. "No, Mom. I need to say it now."

She sighed. "Okay. Then I'm listening, Sonny."

Twenty minutes later, he ended the call, certain he'd all but ensured that his mother would start the New Year off depressed. He regretted that, but hopefully Cherica would start it off excited and looking forward to their future together.

A
fter a restless night, Cherica woke alone in bed. She and Jayson would be ringing in the New Year that night with their respective families. As she sat drinking her morning coffee, a feeling of depression settled over her. Even with her apartment decorated and Christmas carols filling the kitchen, she felt almost like Scrooge. 

Jayson was due back in town later that day. Not that she could expect to see him. He'd be driving straight from the airport to his mother's place to ring in the New Year; yet another damned Calihan family tradition he wouldn't or couldn't share with her. And she'd be at Dave's house pretending to enjoy herself.

She made it through a long day without crying. However, as she dressed for her night out, a tear streamed down her cheek. She wiped it away but more quickly followed.  "You deserved better than this," she told her reflection. "If he can't stand up to his mother and his sisters and admit how he feels, then he's not man enough for you. And you are not going to cry anymore and settle for a damned clandestine affair because he's afraid of what his mother will think!

"If he's not man enough to acknowledge his feelings, it's time to kick his ass to the curb and move on with your life!" 

She went into the bathroom, washed her face, reapplied her makeup and prepared to drive to Dave's home. As she was about to leave her apartment, her phone played the opening strains of
Be My Love
, the ringtone she'd assigned to Jayson just that week. Although her heart jumped in her throat and she longed to talk to him, she let it go to voicemail. He was probably just calling to tell her he was back in town and on his way to his mother's house.

After his second call during the forty-minute drive to Dave's house, she turned off her ringer. When she arrived, Dave met her at the door. After kissing her cheek and hugging her, he looked behind her.