Cure for the Common Universe (30 page)

But maybe this was what I deserved. I'd been lying to myself all week, thinking of myself as the hero of the story, hearing and seeing only the things I thought would get me what I wanted. Maybe Meeki was right. Maybe I had seen Serena as someone to save. I knew better now. Jasmine wasn't a damsel in distress at the end of the game. She was just on her own adventure. When we met again, she'd see that I recognized that now.

My back started to burn. My shoes were two pools of sweat. My tongue was a dead sponge. Good. I wanted to
feel
the journey, to pay my dues for treating everyone so poorly.

Ten minutes later I changed my mind. I did not want to feel the journey anymore. Why wasn't this desert ending? Where the hell was the giant LEGO? The infinite sandbox had no end.

My head blurred and the sky warped, like I was walking inside a giant hourglass filled with sand. I almost passed out. I covered my eyes just to see darkness for a minute, then trudged on. The road kept going. I still couldn't see a turnoff. I kept walking, then leapt a foot into the air when I almost stepped on a scorpion.

Wait. It was just a sprig of tumbleweed.

I kept walking.

So maybe I wouldn't try to get Jasmine's phone number. I'd show my respect by acknowledging that she had her life together. She was healing and breaking up with Max and
being an all-around badass. God, I hoped she did break up with Max. For her sake.

My shadow lengthened on the asphalt before me. It looked disturbingly familiar. Maybe Fezzik was right. Maybe I was Meeki's Dark Link. Treating everyone else like I was better than them. Imagining women as princesses in castles that I needed to rescue. I had smashed Scarecrow's nose and then pretended it had been to protect her honor. Man, she had hit him
so
much harder than I could have. I should have said that in my paintball speech. But no, I'd been too focused on dumb Gravity. Er, Serena.

Ugh. My head was a big sweaty, pulsing lump of confusion.

At least now I could appreciate all that the Burds had done for me. Without them I would've walked into the Wasteland, been shot six times in the balls, and earned exactly zero points. God, I'd give the best paintball speech now.

What was that smell? Was my skin cooking? Could eyeballs turn into raisins? It felt like it. Where the hell was Video Horizons?

A wind kicked up, blowing sand into my eyes and mouth. I would have spit if I didn't need the moisture.

I wouldn't earn any points for finding Video Horizons again. In fact, the opposite would probably happen. G-man would take away my 900,000 for running away. That would be fine by me. I wasn't about points anymore. I was ready to work and be nice. I would earn my million points by cross-stitching something for everyone at Video Horizons.
I'd stitch the sayings that were so important to me, to show I had listened.

Nobody Puts Princess in a Castle

Every Warrior Needs an Adventure Party

People Aren't Medicine

Everyone's a Grouchy Cow on Their First Day

Yeah, I'd totally make those . . . after Soup taught me how to cross-stitch . . . once Fezzik found him . . .

The turnoff! Thank God, the turnoff. I rubbed my eyes, worried it might vanish in the wavering heat. When it stayed put, I stepped, zombielike, off the road and onto the sand, which squished beneath my feet, and cut diagonally to reach the dirt road sooner. A few minutes later, a sparkly car drove down the highway. A car I could have used to hitchhike. It didn't matter anymore. I was close now.

Who knows? Maybe Jasmine
would
be there when I returned. Maybe she had opted out of going home because she was worried about me. And Soup. Soup and me. Even if she wasn't there, why should I not try to contact her? Because Meeki thought I was an asshole? Psh.

The sun crowned the sky. Something tumbled along the sand and stuck to my shoe. It was a leaf. I picked it up, covering my mouth in shock. Tears came to my eyes. It couldn't be the same leaf Jasmine had given me . . . could it? No. Could it? No, absolutely not. What if it was, though? What if it was a sign? I
stuck it behind my ear to give it to her whenever I saw her next. I understood what it represented now . . . Maybe. Hope or something. Who knows.

I kept walking, expecting to see the roof of the facility poke over the dunes with each step. While I was about 90 percent sure that I was walking in the right direction, that I had taken the right turnoff, everything was starting to look the same. I missed Navi. She could flutter over my shoulder and ding and sing
This way! This way!
Stupid real life and its lack of hint systems.

The sun blazed, casting my shadow behind me now. After another eternity of walking, I grew scared that I might have wandered a few degrees in the wrong direction. I reminded myself that I wasn't trying to find a LEGO in an infinite sandbox. I was just trying to find a building in the desert. A well-hidden building, it seemed. I could still do it.

Maybe I'd make it back in time for the sand castle competition. Soup would spray the sand with the hose so it was good and wet for packing into buckets. When he saw me, he'd recognize my dehydrated state and spray me, just like I'd sprayed Serena, and I'd open my mouth and the water would taste like rubber and dirt, and I'd choke when the stream hit the back of my throat, but it would be the best water I'd ever had.

Meeki would be the sand castle's architect. She was good at stuff like that. Zxzord could sleep in the moat. Fezzik could stack the turrets high. And Jasmine . . . probably wouldn't be there. Didn't matter. Even if the Burds were doing a terrible
job building, I wouldn't say anything. I'd just pack buckets full of sand and hand them to my guildmates. That is how I'd help the Fury Burds build their castle.

Our castle. Our castle in the desert.

And who knows? Maybe it would fill the freaking sky.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Seriously, what the fuck, desert? When do you end?

Okay, I understood now. The sand wouldn't allow me to return until I learned all the important life lessons.

Who else had I treated like crap?

Scarecrow . . . was still a dick. I was glad I'd thrown that ball at his face. Him and my stepmom. And Meeki. They all still sucked. Although, Casey did just try to get me to exercise, which I obviously needed. God, my hips hurt.

And okay, maybe I wasn't much better than Scarecrow. I mean, I went after two girls at once, kind of. By accident. And I tried to kiss one of them, even though she had a boyfriend. Dick move. I also said terrible things to a lot of people. If anything,
I
was the one who was still in beta. Definitely not an alpha male. Wait, was it the other way around? Why had no one thrown a ball at my face?

A flat dune rose out among the others. Not a flat dune—a roof! Ha-ha! I knew it! I knew if I learned all the life lessons, Video Horizons would show! Oh God. Yes, yes, yes. I had
done it. I had completed my journey across the desert without a flying scarf or anything. YES.

I sprinted—okay, limped toward the parking lot. Maybe the Burds were already building sand castles in the shade on the far side of the building. I couldn't wait for Soup to hug me, just so I could pry him off as if I didn't care.

But first. Water. Yes. Water. I couldn't run, but I powerwalked through the parking lot, toward V-hab's door. If the building vanished in a mirage, I was going to be so pissed.

Oh God. There was a cop car in the parking lot. But even more terrifying was the Xterra beside it, its engine still running. I powerwalked right past the Xterra without looking inside. The driver door popped open. I tried Video Horizons's door. It was locked. Why the hell was it locked? I kept jiggling the handle, not wanting to confront who was behind me.

“Jaxon.”

I gave up on the door and turned around. My dad leaned against the Xterra's bumper.

“Well, you got some exercise,” he said. “I'll give you that much.”

“I have to go inside,” I said, jiggling the handle again.

“I was just on my way to find you.” He opened the passenger door. “There's water in the cup holder.”

I could see it, sparkling and crystal clear in a bottle. I was pretty sure that if I didn't drink something in the next twenty seconds, I was going to collapse into a pile of dust. Also, the Xterra's air-conditioning sounded like pure heaven.

I climbed into the passenger seat, drank half of the water in one go, and then, panting, let my head fall against the headrest. The air-conditioning stung my scalded skin. My dad got into the driver's seat, closed the door, and then stared at me as if wondering how he ended up with a son like me. My eyes were closed, but I knew the look.

“Now that I know you're not dead,” he said, “what the hell were you thinking, Jaxon?”

I finished the water. “Do you have anything to eat?”

He fished around behind my seat and handed me a warm protein shake.

Casey had been trying to get me to drink one of these ever since she had moved in. I drank it in one go.

My dad pinched the bridge of his nose.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes and let my skin drink in the AC. My eyelids were on fire.

“Are you going to answer my question?” my dad said.

“Shh,” I said. “Could we just . . . shh for a minute?”

“No, we can't, dammit.”

The Mountain was turning into a volcano.

“I gotta go,” I said. I pulled on the door handle, but he had locked it. While my fried mind tried to figure out how to open the door, my dad said, “Take your hand off the door handle.”

I was so exhausted that my body just sort of obeyed, my arm flopping into my lap.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I need to go inside,” I said, eyes closed. “Apologize.”

“No, what are you doing with your
life
?”

My eyes shot open. “
You're
the one who sent me to V-hab in the middle of nowhere even though I totally had a date with—” My throat was too dry to continue. I closed my eyes again.

“You're right,” he said. “I was hoping that if I took away the games, then you would find the tools to pick yourself up and start taking some responsibility. Clearly, I was mistaken.”

He put the Xterra in gear and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Wait,
no
. Dad, I have to go back.”

“To a facility that lost you? I don't think so.”

Video Horizons grew small in the side mirror.

“It isn't their fault. It's my fault.”

“That isn't all that's your fault,” he said. “You and I are going to the police station, and then we're going home, where you can work off the fines for stealing a car.”

Shit. G-man's son hit him with his own car, and then Serena and I stole it. I needed to apologize for that, too.

“Dad.” I looked out the back window as Video Horizons vanished behind the dunes. “Rehab is like jail, right? I'll serve time there!”

“I'm not paying for a place that you just run away from. Do you know how expensive that place is?”

“Oh, what? Will Casey not be able to afford another juice cleanse?”

My dad ignored that. I watched the sand pass the window. All of my opportunity for redemption. My last chance to see Jasmine.

“Mom would've listened to me when I said I had a date.”

“Your mom didn't drive around for five hours in the middle of the night, trying to find you.”

“Psh,” I said.

It was all I could say. My dad never did what I wanted. . . .

Because what I wanted was to be an asshole and manipulate people. What if he had let me off the hook and not sent me to Video Horizons? Then I would have gone on a date with a selfish girl, been convinced I still liked her, found out she didn't like me, gone through the heartbreak, and then gone right back to
Arcadia
.

“I'm sorry I called you an asshole, Dad.”

He gave me a look, even more skeptical than when I'd told him I had a date.

“You got too much sun, Son,” he said.

“I've been an asshole all week. That's why I need to go back. I have a lot of people to apologize to.”

My dad looked almost touched. It didn't last. “I didn't want to tell you this,” he said. “The director said he won't have you back. He's rethinking the entire treatment process because of you.”

“I . . .” My air escaped.

That was probably smart of G-man. Like Fezzik had said, gamified therapy could bring out the worst in kids like me.

“Did they find Soup?” I asked.

“What are you asking?” my dad said. “Did they find . . .”

“Oh, right, sorry. There was a kid missing in the desert. His player name was Soup. Did they find him?”

“They lost
three kids
in one day?”

“We have to go back and find out if he's okay or not.”

“No, Jaxon. Simply no.”

He didn't slow down. If I just jumped out of the Xterra . . . the road would roll me into a bloody pulp. I let my cheek fall against the warm window.

We drove down the highway, back to Salt Lake. I was going home. To Casey. And rejection texts from girls. And an empty computer desk.

Game complete.

A measly 70 percent complete. If that.

I didn't have any way to contact my guildmates. Hell, other than Jasmine, I didn't even know their real names. I'd never get the chance to thank Fezzik for looking out for me and to wish him luck. I'd never find out if Zxzord was really addicted to heroin or not.

But that wasn't the worst part of leaving the game. I didn't even get any of the NPCs to like me. If V-hab had been
Harvest Moon
, I would have made zero friends in town.

I looked in the side mirror and again mentally said good-bye to everyone at V-hab: Aurora, Fezzik, G-man, Soup. I probably wouldn't see any of them ever again. What had I been thinking, leaving them like I had?