Cult of the Hexad (Afterlife saga Book 6) (22 page)

“I cannot tell you that I haven’t lied to you as that in itself would be a lie…but, I can honestly say that I have only ever done so to keep you safe and for your own wellbeing.” He told me and I couldn’t help the sting delivered when he wouldn’t repeat my actual name.

“So are you telling me that when you lied to me it didn’t hurt?” Now this question really affected him and after a desolate moment of staring at me in regret he turned away in anger. It didn’t matter, in that look alone I had my answer.

“I see little on why this matters to you if you don’t even remember the past we shared!” He snapped. I decided to enlighten him on exactly why it did matter, very much so in fact.

“Because if you lied to me as this Keira you believe me to be, then what’s stopping you from lying to me now?”

“You think I would lie to you about something as important as this?!” He said whipping back round to face me and I could see that my questions were testing his obvious temper.

“That depends…”

“On what?!” His frustrated question made me rethink for a moment on whether I really wanted to go down this sensitive road.

“On what you lied to me about before.” I finally answered him knowing that if he ever wanted me to trust in what he was telling me then I needed some foundations on which to stand. After all, I didn’t know him and just because he said otherwise it didn’t mean I could believe him. But one look at him now told me that I couldn’t. Because he hadn’t just lied to protect me as he said, he had lied enough to hurt me and there was a big difference in my world.

“Like I said, that was in the past and for what I believed at the time was for the right reasons.” His excuse didn’t work for me so I pushed for more,

“What did you lie about?”

“Enough! It is in the past and where it shall remain!” He shouted getting even angrier but I knew it wasn’t with me, it was with himself.

“Then you give me no reason to trust you.” I informed him sadly and he looked mortally wounded from it.

“Very well.” He said after releasing a sigh in frustration.

“You have to see this from my side. I have been lied to all my life, by everyone I thought I knew and the only one left I trust…well I am afraid to say isn’t in this room with me.” I hated saying this and the anger he once had for himself was now directed at someone else and thankfully they also weren’t in this room.

“I will make them pay…I promise you that when I find them I will make them pay for everything they have done to us, everything they have taken, I will get it back… if it’s the last thing I ever do Keira, I will get it back…
I promise you.”
  His stern promise almost broke my heart as hearing that name once more did. His belief that I was her was crushing my strength, one that I needed to keep hold onto my own beliefs.

“So you need to trust in what I am telling you when I say you are not Katie!” He said cutting the distance between us and I backed up to the wall behind me but it was no use. He stood before me, locking me there before taking my face in his hands and placing his forehead to mine.

“You are Keira
…. my Keira.”
He said pleading with me like a desperate man and again my heart broke but this time it wasn’t because of a name… it was for him. I closed my eyes and shook my head softly but he held me still.

“No, no…Ssshh now, don’t…don’t say anything, we will figure this out.” He told me and it sounded like his voice was close to breaking.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do this if you think I am her…I’m not her.” 
I whispered back feeling my tears finally fall at the same time his hands did. I sucked in a sharp breath as my emotions got too much and I started to cry. He took a step back and his face told me it was more than just a rejection of the truth he believed in, it was a rejection of the love he trusted in. That’s when I saw his own tears fall and in that moment I had never hated myself more.

For long moments we just looked at each other, witnessing the misery we both created in what we each believed. I knew I couldn’t break away from him so was glad when he turned from me first. I wiped away my tears while I had the chance but then I jumped when he snapped back at me,  

“Why?!”

“Why?” I asked wincing at his hurt, angry tone,

“Yes, why? Why do you refuse to believe what I suspect you already know to be the truth?!” Oh yes, he was angry and it only acted to fuel my own anger when I shouted, 

“Because I am afraid!”

“What are you afraid of…tell me?
”
I knew this was it. My time had come to admit my biggest fears,

“I am afraid that if I’m not Katie then who am I, because all I am then left with is a name I don’t know. I am left with no past that I recognise and if that is the case then what is to be of my future? What would be left for me to live for if the one person I have loved in the world isn’t real? I would be completely alone in a world I didn’t know. In a world that would never be mine.” I shook my head feeling my tears drip from my chin, hitting the slate floor beneath my bare feet. I turned away from him to hide my shame, to hide the depth of my fears like I always tried to do at the Colony.

I hated this. I hated not knowing as much as I feared discovery. I hated feeling weak and vulnerable and I was tired of it all. The pain, the suffering, the fear and the longing. I hated it! But now most of all I hated the self-loathing I felt every time I thought back to leaving Ari. I was tired of feeling weak and helpless and most of all feeling scared but deep down I simply couldn’t help it. I was all of those things. So all that was left was to apologise for it all when he said,

“Please, you have to trust me.”   

“I’m sorry, but how can I trust someone I don’t even know when they tell me that I am someone else?”        

“Because…” He took a breath and then said something that would blow apart both the world I knew and the world I didn’t…

“You’re my wife.”

Chapter 20

Here We Go Again

“Seriously Dom, I thought the plan was not to scare her!”

“Not now Sophia.” The sound of a man’s voice filled the dark void and it was one I vaguely recognised but couldn’t remember exactly where from.

“No I think now is the perfect time considering she keeps passing out on us! Did you not listen to anything he told us?” The girl’s voice I recognised and I now had a name to go with it. It was strange but I couldn’t have chosen a better name for her. It was as if every Sophia I had ever known had been a lovely and warm natured person and this was the reason it fit so well. Of course the only problem with this logic was that I didn’t know any other Sophia.

“I suggest you heed our brother’s warning sister, as I am close to the edge as it is.” Now this was a male voice I recognised and I felt myself shift uncomfortably knowing
he
was close. I felt a reassuring squeeze at my side and a cooing ‘Ssshh’ before his sister, Sophia snapped back, 

“Then maybe you should have thought twice about bombarding the poor girl with a past she can’t remember and a name she doesn’t know!” I then heard the quick tapping of heels against stone and then a loud slam of a heavy door.

“I know she isn’t helping but she’s just upset.” The other male voice said softly and his first reply was a gruff grunt before the words,

“Aren’t we all?”

“I will go and talk to her.” The man said and this time when he left he closed the door with a little less emotion.

“You can open your eyes now Sweetheart, it is just you and I.” I did as I was told, surprised to find him looking down at me at a sideways angle. I frowned for a moment as I waited for my mind to kick back into gear and when it did I realised I was lay with my head in his lap.

Knowing that my head was close to that part of his anatomy I tried to think of anything else than just that. Of course when that failed I decided the only way forward was to get up and try and regain some dignity. Because from that knowing grin I was now getting, I was pretty sure he knew where my thoughts had been.

“Easy now. You must have received quite a knock to the head in that accident.” He said helping me up until I was sitting upright next to him on a big luxurious sofa.”

“You know about that?” Something passed in his eyes before he gritted out,

“Yes.”

“How, was it on the news or the police…? Oh God the police haven’t come looking for me have they, because you know it was none of my fault, these guys…?”

“Calm yourself. Nobody is going to come here and take you from me…
ever again.”
  He swore this last part under his breath to himself and I inwardly shivered at the stern promise he obviously just made with himself.

“So I guess I did another fainting act then uh?” His answer came in the form of a smile and him running the back of two fingers down my cheek. When his actions made me bite my lip his smile got bigger and I saw the quickest flash of purple in his eyes.

“Hey, your eyes must have a hint of purple in them.” I couldn’t help say after what I just saw there.

“It happens a lot where you are concerned.” I frowned not really understanding what he meant by that but I decided to move on before he confused me even more.

“I wonder why I keep fainting. Honestly I am not normally like that.” I said thinking it best if I didn’t mention the times that I was half starved at the Colony.

“You needn’t worry, the reasons I suspect are nothing harmful, merely side effects.” The way he spoke was so precise and to the point it made me wonder what his background was. He seemed a lot older than he looked, in fact it was as if he had come from a completely different era all together.

“Side effects?” I asked getting back to more important questions than how old he was.

“I think it’s best not to go down that difficult road again, at least for the time being. It’s like my sister said, best not to bombard you with things you don’t yet understand.” The way he said this was as if I would break if he pushed too much and now I found I was no longer wishing to be kept in the dark. I wanted to know what they thought…or more to the point, what he thought. But I also knew I couldn’t have it both ways and until I was willing to accept what they were all telling me was true, then there was little point me asking questions if I wasn’t going to trust in the answers given.

“Alright. But I have to ask, where does that leave us?” He gave me a gentle smile and looked as though he wanted to say something other than what he did.

“I would like to ask you some questions if I may?” I was unsure how this was going to go but by the soft way in which he asked me I knew I couldn’t refuse.

“I can’t see why not.” I said and no doubt he could hear how sceptical I was.

“I promised I wouldn’t make it difficult for you but I am curious as you can imagine.” Yeah I bet he was I thought sarcastically considering he thought I was his long lost wife from another life. Oh God…wife! That little doozy of a factor had only just come back to me.

“Because you…you think I am your wife?” I struggled asking him this and for a minute thought I might chicken out.

“You are my wife and you always will be.” He said without a hint of hesitation and because there was a side of me that longed for that type of love and devotion, it felt painfully beautiful when hearing it.

“You seem so sure.” I commented shaking my head slightly at the thought.

“And you seem so sure that you’re not. So let’s just say we both must have our reasons in what we choose to believe.” Well I had to give him that one.

“Okay, but just so you know, yours is a lot nicer belief than mine is.” I don’t know where that came from but as soon as I said it I felt my face start to get hot from blushing. However, the grin he gave me was more than worth the embarrassment my confession caused.

“You know not the joy hearing that brought me, so thank you…
Katie.”
  Hearing him finally say my name for the first time brought me a type of joy that he would never know but at the same time, it did feel strange hearing it. I almost wanted to tell him that he could call me Keira if he really wanted to but I knew that would also have been strange. Either way, I knew from just one look what it had cost him in saying a name he didn’t believe was mine, so I was touched at his kindness shown.

This suddenly reminded me that I still had no clue to what his name was! It felt like a sin not knowing but how could I ask him his name when he thought he was my husband?!

At first I thought I might have been talking aloud as he was frowning at me as if he heard every thought I just had.

“I would like to start with my questions now, if you don’t mind?” He asked and I kind of wished that had been his only one. I wondered then if I told him no would that have been the end of it? One look told me I didn’t think so, not with him looking so determined. In the end I just nodded for him to start.

“Last night you entered the club in search of someone…who was it you were looking for exactly?” He asked folding a leg over the other and picking a piece of lint from his trousers. The action shouldn’t have made me nervous but combined with the question I felt more like I was being interrogated by a mob boss or something.

“Uhh…well, I was umm…looking for…” I was still stalling for time trying to decide very quickly whether or not I should tell him. I don’t know why but for some reason this question felt like being led into a trap.

“Looking for?” He said prompting me further by rolling his hand.

“Dominic Draven.” I said his name and again a deep purple flickered in his eyes. What the hell was that?!

“I see.”

“You see?” I mimicked trying to decipher his code.

“And tell me, for I am curious, did you find him?” Again, why did I feel like a small animal being led into a lion’s cage?

“No, I was about to ask after him before that girl launched herself at me…although I guess after that the owner of the club wouldn’t have wanted to meet with me anyway.” I could just see the small smirk appear before he hid the lower half of his face behind a hand he held across his lips as his elbow rested against the back of the seat.

“I didn’t cause that fight you know.” I said defending myself against what I believed he was smirking at.

“Oh I have no doubt.” He said moving his hand back to emphasise his point. I frowned at him when I suddenly realised something,

“You’re teasing me!” At this he laughed and if I thought his smile was a beautiful sight, then his laughter was the beautiful sound to match.

“I wouldn’t dare, not after seeing you throw a gut punch.”

“You saw it?!” I shouted in mortified shock.

“You can see a lot from up in the VIP area.” He said, informing me of this fact about twelve hours too late.

“The VIP, is that what it was called?”

“Yes Sweetheart, it is.” I couldn’t help but bite my lip when hearing him call me this again and I was quickly becoming addicted to the tingles his presence constantly gave me.

“Well in that case we both know what happened next.” I said rolling my eyes and he laughed again causing the tingles to intensify.

“Yes… you found me.” He said as this had somehow been his intention all along.

“Wait a minute, how did you know about the accident?” I asked going back to one of my original questions.

“Let’s just call it convenient connections and leave it at that.”

“Oh no, I don’t think so!” I said forgetting myself for a moment and he raised an eyebrow as if questioning my bravery.

“I mean…uh…well, that’s not very fair.” Okay, so saying this did make me sound like a whiny teenager but thankfully he quickly looked amused by my outburst.

“No? How so?” He asked and when I frowned his laughter told me he was teasing me again.

“You do like teasing me don’t you.”

“Don’t worry, there used to be a time where you teased me equally so.” He told me and I didn’t know what to say to that at first but when his smile faded as an obvious memory seeped in I knew I had to make light of it somehow.

“Then I will just have to find a way to put up with you again.” I said nudging him and I don’t know who was more surprised by my flirting, me or him. I blushed again and lowered my head to hide my pink cheeks from view. I was startled when I felt his fingers under my chin and I had no choice to lift my head when he applied pressure.

“You are free to tease me whenever you want little one.” I started to slip into the annoying urge of biting my lip again when his thumb pressed against them, preventing me from doing so. Then he leaned in close and I quickly held my breath, thinking that he was going to kiss me. He was…he must be…is he, was he? I asked myself with every inch he eliminated between us with the closer he got. Then he stopped and just before I was stupid enough to close my eyes and wait for something that might never come, he spoke…

“I once told you a long time ago about that lip of yours and what a shame it would be if there was nothing left for me to kiss.” He uttered the words in such a way it almost felt like that kiss I craved and I think using that voice I would have done anything he commanded.

“Don’t make promises you wouldn’t be able to keep.” He said cryptically as that sentence would have only made sense if he could read my thoughts. That in itself was a horrifying thought considering all I wanted to do was throw myself at him and beg him to make me a woman, ripping away the last shreds of innocence my virginity held on to.

I don’t know why but directly after having these carnal thoughts he was gone. He had moved away from me so fast you would have thought someone had held a gun to his head. He had his back to me and even through his shirt I could see all his muscles tensed as if something internal was causing him great pain.

“Are you alright?” I asked him, suddenly worried I had said something to offend him.

“I am fine.” He grated it out in such a way even the dumbest of people would have known he was lying.

“Did I…?” I didn’t get to finish.

“It isn’t you, but please, just excuse me a moment.” And after this he quickly left through the other door which I was currently facing.

“Something I said?” I asked myself out loud, knowing that I must have had something to do with it. I thought back to my behaviour and instantly started chastising myself. The way I flirted with him was shocking but on the other hand, it simply felt so natural, almost as if I didn’t know any other way to be around him. He hadn’t seemed offended at first and even looked like he was enjoying our banter but then what had that all been about at the end?

What was I doing?! I needed to get a grip, I didn’t even know him and what I did know was pure fantasy. What would he think I wondered if he knew that for the last eight months I had been dreaming of him almost every night and in these dreams he had been so many things…Lover, punisher, Demon and Captor and at the centre of all those things was the exact image of myself trapped there by his hand.

What did any of that really say about me? After all, he had done nothing to hurt me and had taken me into his home. So alright, he did all of these things thinking that I was his long lost wife but still, I was more than thankful for his kindness.