CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) (16 page)

CHAPTER 17

Xan was as surprised as Catalina when he
found himself at her door. Maybe more so because it was impossible to judge her
bland expression while he was convinced his astonishment was written all over
his face.

He had been driving for hours, or at least
it felt like that when he was immersed in his thoughts, acting like an
automaton. He had no memory of taking the turn leading to her house yet he must
have.

What did that mean? He wondered.

He half expected her to tell him to go to hell
no matter her manners but something else entirely filled her eyes, and since he
had no experience with this particular emotion it took him a moment to
understand it was…
concern
.

Xan couldn’t remember a time when someone
was worried for him, if ever.

Catalina looked at him over her shoulder
when he was obediently following her through the house and he saw a thousand
unasked questions in her gaze. Yet all remained locked behind her temperance
and class.

This was exactly why he had come to her, he
understood.

She wasn’t going to bombard him with
questions, no matter how much she wanted to. Didn’t show him the door even
though she told him she didn’t want to see him again.

He had no idea if it were all dictated by
her compassion, good breeding or something else entirely, but the need to
understand it thoroughly became a constant throb in his veins as insistent as
pulsating of his abused hand was.

Cat was fighting with herself to stay
silent, nearly losing the battle especially since Xan was keeping his quietness,
and it felt at odds with what she had learned about him so far.

The usual kind of energy he emitted before
felt repressed now, as if it had morphed into something more edgy.

The bloody hand aside, he looked no worse
for wear, so she assumed that whatever happened to him couldn’t have been an
accident. Not the usual and obvious kind anyway, not one of those that were
always waiting on the forefront of the mind, biding its time, she thought.

He smiled at her a bit absentmindedly when
she sent him a probing look, leading him toward her bathroom. It was the kind
of a smile she knew firsthand
–
nothing
more really than grimace quirking corners of lips, never reaching eyes.

She bit the inside of her cheek in order to
stop questions that wanted to pour out of her mouth, thinking that being
questioned was the last thing he wanted or needed right now.

They kept silent when they entered the
bathroom adjoining her bedroom and she kept her hands busy with collecting
items necessary to tend to him. But her mind was still racing, causing her to
jump from one conclusion to another, and neither was offering her any kind of
solace.

There was something angry prowling in the
depths of his eyes, making him seem haunted and vulnerable at the same time and
she knew it was nothing comfortable. She didn’t think he was aware of it even,
otherwise he wouldn’t have allowed himself to drop his guard to this degree.
“Sit,” she ordered quietly, placing a hand on his chest without giving it much
thought and steering him toward the bathtub so he would sit on its edge,
allowing her better access to his injured hand.
The fact he complied without a word of protest spiked her alarm.
“Does it hurt badly?” Catalina wanted to know, taking the position between his
spread thighs, trying not to think about the intimacy of it.
“No, not too bad.” Pain was relative after all, wasn’t it?

He surely hurt far worse than that, Xan
thought, completely consumed by the fact he was being taken care of. Having her
so close offered him a chance to observe her and he took it, curious about her
more than he wished to be.

She changed the dress she had earlier on to
another, this one a bit shorter, allowing him a great view of her shapely legs.
Her face was devoid of any trace of make-up and he thought she could easily
pass for a teenager.

It should have cooled off this attraction
he felt for her, but it only intensified instead.

His nostrils flared when he inhaled her
fresh and subtle scent, aware of his body’s response.

Sadly she was not, completely absorbed by
the task at hand.
“Let’s have a look at it.” She said and very delicately unwrapped his makeshift
bandage trying not to wince when the scent and sight of blood overwhelmed her
senses, making her stomach churn angrily.

She hadn’t dealt well with blood since the brutal
incident that tore her parents away from her forever. Ever since, she tried to
avoid it as much as possible, but she couldn’t very well tell him to leave and
take care of it himself, she thought.
“Oh Xan… it looks worse than I thought. Maybe you should have gone to an ER.”
She looked up in his eyes and blushed slightly, finding him more focused on her
than his wound.
“It doesn’t require that kind of help. Trust me, I would know,” he said and her
stomach dropped when she started to wonder what it said about him that he could
determine the seriousness of an injury?
“You need to tell me how it happened,” she told him and after catching the look
in his eyes, added hurriedly. “It will allow me to better understand what we
are dealing with here. I see small pieces of… glass?” She frowned gazing up at
him.
“Mirror,” he said and she bit her lower lip.

She was pale now and he thought that she
was too delicate to deal in blood and the ugly side of life in general. For
some reason it angered him and he stilled her hand when she reached for
something in her medicine cabinet.
“Don’t worry, I can do it myself. I will be out of your hair.” He didn’t care
how idiotic his statement was, especially considering the fact he had come to
her, but he was as far away from gratefulness right now as one could get.
“Don’t be ridiculous. We already saw how well you took care of it leaving…
foreign objects in it.” She scoffed at him.
“For your information, I’ve been taking care of myself for a while now.” He
felt the need to emphasize the fact because her words were pushing him toward
the line of defense and he didn’t like that.

Catalina disinfected a pair of tweezers and
hesitated, looking him straight in the eye.
“Do you want me to continue or did you just come in here to snarl at me for no
good reason?” She wanted to know.

Xan breathed out roughly, eyeing her and
the dangerous tool in her hand both, wondering which was causing him the bigger
unease.
“You are right. Please continue.” He clenched his teeth when she started to
remove remaining pieces of the mirror but she was so careful he didn’t even
feel it.

Tension shot through Xan’s body and she was
afraid she was adding to his pain but it had to be done, and after a moment he
relaxed slowly, allowing her to continue without further ado.
“I believe I got it all,” she said, more to herself than him. “This is going to
hurt now,” Cat warned him and poured antiseptic all over his hand.
“Fuck! What the hell was that? Gasoline?” He scowled at her.
“You are welcome,” she muttered and threw away the cotton swab.

Catalina’s movements were sure and
consciously slow, as if she attempted to soothe him, to ease the tension
radiating from his body. He was quiet but she knew he was watching her and the
silence between them grew uncomfortable, ripe from all the things she wanted to
ask and he didn’t want to talk about.
“I am sure it is going to swell and be more than tender for a while. If you can
move your fingers it means nothing is broken but…”
“But?” He prompted when she fell silent again.
“I still think you should show it to a professional.”
“I don’t think anyone could do better than you,” he said and meant that.

He didn’t expect her to be so calm about
it, to allow him into her home for that matter. Maybe she wasn’t as cool as
before but she surely was composed instead of panicking and hurling uneasy
questions at him.
“My boss pissed me off and I punched a wall,” Xan said not realizing he was
going to fess up.

There was no point in adding he did it
repeatedly, he thought.

Her hands stilled for a moment after he
admitted to violence she already knew him capable of and he wondered what her
next move was going to be.

Xan knew he was not doing himself any
favors with his admission and whatever her opinion of him was, it could only
spiral more down.

But he said the words anyway, wondering if
he was trying to sabotage himself on purpose and end things between them before
they could even start.
“And a mirror.” Cat said quietly.

She knew from their very first meeting that
the lives they led were worlds apart. It was, more than likely, one of the
reasons why he seemed so fascinating to her, she supposed.

Did she expect his world to be a violent
one?

It was a given, considering the nature of
the club they had met in and the fact he was the main attraction of it. Yet it
still was an abstract idea to her somewhat, something not exactly perceptible
even though she witnessed the fight herself and registered it on her camera
too.

His bruised jaw earlier tonight was another
proof of his activities, but his bloodied and battered hand was another story
altogether. It was vivid proof his ferocity wasn’t limited to the ring alone
and that his temper could slip out of control at any given moment.

She should have been showing him the door,
she thought. She should have been ignoring the peculiar pull she felt toward
him as well.

However, regardless of people’s opinion,
Catalina had never been the kind of person who took a step back without trying
to understand all there was to it.
“And a mirror,” he agreed.

Xan shifted slightly, brushing his thighs
against hers, bringing forth the odd moment of intimacy again, no matter that the
circumstances were a far cry from sexual.

 His body seemed to radiate even more
tension than before, although she didn’t think it was possible. Catalina
wondered if it were due to something that was playing in his mind or he was
simply awaiting some kind of reaction from her.

Judging by the way her skin kept burning,
his eyes were still on her, but she was utterly focused on dressing his hand
properly.

The quietude was stretching between them, constantly
changing its mood, until she no longer could recognize the subtle shifts.

She waited for him to add something to his
agreement, but it was obvious he would rather put his fist through the mirror
again than talk about whatever had taken place to bring them to this point.

She finished bandaging his hand, making
sure the tying wouldn’t restrict his movement. Catalina hesitated but couldn’t
and wouldn’t leave it like that without telling him what felt essential at this
very instant.
“Xan… I am not judging you.” She looked him straight in the eye again and saw
his surprise.
“My name is Alexander but I hate that name,” he told her, and Catalina blinked
at the abrupt change of subject, wondering if he was throwing her off balance
on purpose.
“Well, my name is still Catalina but for some reason you prefer Doll,” she said,
making him chuckle.

No, Xan thought there was no way he could
predict her reactions.
“I think we are past that point.”
“I’m glad.” She smiled at him and his eyes dropped to her lips.
“No.” She stopped him when he leaned toward her.
“Why?”
“I meant what I said before; I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Cat wanted to
back away but he gripped her wrist stopping her.
“Why do you keep denying the attraction between us?” Xan wanted to know.
“And why are you so sure there is anything to deny even?”

Xan’s hand snaked up and his thumb brushed
her neck.
“There is a vein right here and its pulsating picks up the pace whenever I am
near you. That’s how I know.” He murmured in a low voice.
“Maybe I am just nervous?”
“This is a telltale on its own. I rest my case.”
“You are…” She planned to tell him how arrogant he was but his thumb brushed
her lips this time cutting her off.
“I know what I am but you have no idea. Why don’t you learn, Kitten?”
“I thought we were past that point,” she reminded him.
“We moved from the Doll. Kitten suits your curiosity, the very same I am
counting on right now.” He didn’t take his eyes off her.
“What do you want from me… Alex?” She tried and he didn’t correct her or
winced.
“I want you to give me a chance, Catalina.”
“A chance for what?”
“Let’s find out. So far it nearly brought me to your bedroom.” He nodded toward
the open door of her bathroom.
“
Nearly
makes a whole lot of difference.”
“I will work on it then. I want to see you again. Soon.” His fingers were
playing with ends of her hair.
“Okay,” she agreed, wondering if she had lost her mind.

But his eyes were on hers, not allowing her
to utter anything other than agreement. And fine, she wanted that too. He was
right, she thought: she
was
curious.
“I will call,” Xan told her. “It’s late, I will leave you be. Thank you for that.”
He raised his bandaged hand. “I really appreciate it.”
“You are welcome. Keep it dry and clean.”

This time she didn’t stop or push him away
when he bent his head and his lips touched hers.

But the kiss was very chaste, a simple way
of saying goodnight without leaving her in cinders this time.