Authors: Wendy Perriam
âWhat about that tea you promised?'
âOh, it's not time for tea. Let's have ices first. They've got a Dayville's tent here. I'll treat us all to triple scoops.'
They sat in the stuffy tent on collapsible stools. Ned wore the hat back to front, a frayed purple ribbon trailing in his cornet. He leant across and licked the nuts off Magda's ice. âHere, do a swap. A lick of my Rocky Road for a bite of your Strawberry Fizz.'
Frances seethed inwardly. Ned had no right to make Magda's manners worse than they were already. He'd bought them all giant-sized cornets with hot fudge sauce and nuts. No gold stars. Ice cream was fattening, and chocolate ruination for the skin. Delicious ruination, none the less. She'd never had a Dayville's, could almost have enjoyed it, if it weren't for Charles' prohibitions. It was so difficult, being torn all ways, her mother's voice in one ear, Charles' in the other, and another, new-hatched voice urging, âGo on, spoil yourself.' She might have heeded that one, if she and Ned were on their own. It had been a bonus to bump into him at all, but she was annoyed that it had happened when she was playing dreary mother, so he'd see her as a nagger and a killjoy. And Magda herself had come between them, slipping triumphantly into the role of Ned's playmate, and making her the odd one out. It could have been far worse, though. She might be marooned now in Valchera's, toying with her vichyssoise, a sullen rebel facing her across the table, and the afternoon stretching to infinity. Ned had worked wonders with Magda, no doubt about it, but she almost resented the fact that he had succeeded where she and Charles had not. Everything was so confusing. Perhaps she was simply tired. Three sleepless nights hadn't helped, nor a daughter delivered like unsolicited goods. The fête was mercilessly noisy, crowds jostling and jabbering, loudspeakers blaring, one announcer out-shouting another.
âA little girl has been lost. She's sobbing her eyes out in the Red Cross tent. Her name's Lucy, and she's wearing a blue dress and red wellies. If anyone â¦'
âPoor sod, she'll get trampled in the rush.' Ned had demolished his cornet in half a dozen bites. âHey, girls, let's splurge all our cash on the donkey derby.'
âOh, yeah, Ned! Can I ride a donkey, Ned? Ned, d'you think they'd let me?'
All those Neds! Supposing Magda repeated them at home, made Charles a carbon copy of the whole mad afternoon. It was time to make a break.
âMagda, we haven't bought your shoes yet. Or your bras.'
âDonkeys don't wear bras.'
Ned and Magda giggled, clearly in alliance.
âMagda, love, if you go and find the donkey man, he'll turn you into Lester Piggott. He's a pal of mine ⦠just say Ned the Red. Here's a pound to back you, and don't you dare fall off. I can't afford to lose my stake. It's all I've got for Sunday lunch. Otherwise I'll have to eat roast Rilke and mint sauce.'
Magda galloped off, with the pound in one hand and her cornet in the other.
âSee you at the tote!' Ned yelled, turning back to Frances. They were suddenly alone, with a hundred other bodies pressing round them in the tent. It was almost frightening to have his full attention, to stop being a stepmother, and become something dangerous else. His sticky fingers were already stroking down her arm. She shook them off.
âRelax, Fran. You're all uptight and tense. It's a lovely day, sun's shining fit to bust, birds singing their crazy little hearts out. Why are you all screwed up?'
âI'm not screwed up, I â¦' Christ! She couldn't cry. Not in an ice cream tent, not in front of everybody, not â oh, please God â not in front of Ned. Her face was crumpling up, losing control of itself. There were tears on the plastic table, tears on Ned's red-checked arm. Somehow, she was holding on to it, and he was leading her to the back of the tent and seating her gently on an upturned packing case. She tried to pull her face back into shape, to make her voice behave.
âLook, I'm sorry. Stupid of me. I'll be all right in a ⦠Oh Ned, it's ⦠it's
not
a lovely day.'
âOf course it's bloody not, if you're unhappy. It's a swine of a day. What's the matter, Fran?'
âOh, nothing.'
âEverything?'
She nodded.
âHusband?'
âNo.' How in God's name had he guessed?
âReally no?'
âWell sort, of. It's â¦' She shook her head. âI'm sorry, Ned, I just can't tell you. Magda might come back. Can you see her?'
Ned got up from his knees and peered through a gap in the canvas. âThe donkey man's flirting with her. Joe's a shocker â teaches woodwork when he's not chatting up the chicks. He likes them dark like that, and barely out of gymslips.'
âShe's beautiful, Ned, isn't she?'
âNot bad. I prefer the older woman, actually.' He had a store of grins in different colours â wild crimson ones for poly rave-ups, and soft blue ones for weepy afternoons. She smiled back.
âThat's better. Now come on, girl, tell Uncle Ned what's up.'
âBut, Ned, I hardly know you and â¦'
âGood God! Haven't we been introduced? I must have overlooked it. How terribly remiss of me. I do apologize. Edward Charles Bradley, DFC, OBE, Commanding Officer, Southmead Polytechnic.'
Frances dabbed her eyes. âIs your second name really Charles?'
â'Fraid so.'
âThat's my husband's name.'
âPoor sod. He could always change it.'
âHe likes it, actually.'
âAnd what about Magda? That's an unusual name.'
âYes.'
âItalian?'
âNo, Hungarian.'
âShe sounds English enough.'
âYes.'
âShe's the problem, isn't she?'
Frances chewed her thumb.
âAren't you going to tell me about it?'
The loudspeaker was booming out again, fighting with the rock music and the raucous laughter of the ice cream lady. âLucy is still lost. She says she doesn't know her other name, but she came with her granny. If there's any grandma who's lost a Lucy â¦'
âWell?' said Ned. He was almost whispering, but his soft voice swamped loudspeakers.
âIt's Charles â that's my husband. He, I mean, she â she's his daughter. She's my husband's daughter.'
âBy another woman, you mean?'
Frances nodded. How could he sound so calm about it? Why didn't he leap to his feet, or gasp in shock? She should never have told him, anyway â a stranger, an inexperienced bachelor. He could never understand.
âWho wasn't his wife?'
âNo-o.'
He couldn't have heard her properly, just sprawling there, plying her with questions, as if they were filling in an application form.
âI see. How long has she lived with you?'
âAbout eighteen hours.' A month, a century.
âChrist! I'm beginning to get it. Where's her mother?'
âGone back to Hungary.' Bitch, deserter.
âPermanently?'
âMore or less, as far as I can gather.' How could she know, when Charles wouldn't tell her anything?
âBut you knew about her?'
âNo.' Nothing. Fifteen years of falsehood.
âYou mean, it was a complete bolt out of the blue?'
âMm.'
âFran, that's really bloody tough. I'm sorry. She's living with you, is she?'
âMm,' she said again. Breaking up my life.
âWell, it won't be for long, I suppose. How old is she, seventeen?'
âFifteen.' Still only a child. A child with a woman's body. It might be years and years. Maybe she'd stay for ever, forcing herself between her and Charles, growing bigger and bigger, like a cuckoo â¦
âIt's a funny age. I used to teach them once â here, in fact â between these hallowed walls. Give me the Poly any day! At least they've reached the age of reason. At fifteen, they're emotionally in nappies, more or less. Maybe I could help you with her, Fran. I'm good with kids.'
If only someone could help â take the child away, make everything all right again. âI'm afraid not, Ned. It wouldn't work. I hardly even know you, should never have really told you in the first place.'
â'Course you should. You've got to talk to someone. You're crazy, Fran, all tied up with rules, as if you're following some formal book of etiquette. People aren't strangers, even if they've never met. They've got the human condition in common, which is more important than the same Alma Mater and all that sort of crap. We don't have to be formally introduced by our frock-coated fathers at the Hunt Ball before I'm allowed to care about you, Franny.'
A nice word, âcare' â and he did care. She could hear it in his voice. âLook, Ned, I'm sorry, but I'm not in a position to be friendly with you. I'm married, for one thing.'
Ned was still on his knees beside her, at the back of the tent. âSo is Charles.'
âWhat's that supposed to mean?'
âWell, he hasn't treated you exactly handsomely, has he?'
Frances flushed. âLook, Ned, the Magda thing ⦠He was still single when it happened, more or less.'
âMore or less?'
âI'm sorry I ever said anything.'
âI'm only trying to help. Why shouldn't you be friendly with a guy, when your husband's busy clocking up affairs?'
âHe doesn't have affairs. Not any more.'
âHow do you know?'
âWell ⦠he's too busy â he wouldn't have the time. And he's not the type, in any case.'
âIt's not a question of types, my love. Anyway, how about this other woman? Or did she conceive Magda via the Holy Ghost?'
âNed, please. That was ages ago and I don't wish to discuss it. Now will you please move over and let me get up. We've left Magda quite long enough.'
âOK, but promise me something first.'
âWhat?'
âYou'll wear your hat.'
He placed it on her head, almost tenderly, arranging the streamers on each side of her neck and kissing the space between. âFranny?'
âWhat?'
âYou look quite beautiful.'
After the donkeys, they tried the rifle range. Frances won a pink plaster ashtray in the shape of a pig. Magda swapped it for an ancient parasol she'd bought for 20p at a stall marked âOdds and Ends'. The sun kept fighting with the clouds, and when it rained, they all three sheltered beneath its ragged flounces, pressing close together. The rain plopped through the rents and fell on Frances' hat. She could feel Ned's thigh warm against her own.
âHappy?' he asked.
She nodded, astonished to be happy, wandering around a run-down comprehensive in a field of mud and litter, with a tomboy on one side and a shambles of a teacher on the other. She'd sent her mother packing to her split-level house in Cheltenham, and at last she felt relaxed. She must never see Ned again, though, especially now she'd told him about Charles. It could only be dangerous, disloyal, but there was nothing to stop her spinning out this one sweet afternoon. Ned had a knack for making things good fun.
âAre you good at running, Magda?'
âYeah. Why?'
âLet's go in for the three-legged race together.'
Frances sat and watched them pull each other over, panting and laughing. They came in last and won a booby prize, a little plastic brooch.
âShame! Give it to your daughter,' yelled a man in the crowd, as Ned pinned it on his shirt front. Magda couldn't be his daughter â he wasn't old enough. And yet a casual onlooker had turned them into an instant family, a messy, happy family, munching toffee apples and sprawling on the grass. Strange to be a threesome like that, an ordinary family with no Charles to cosset and control her. Would she be happier, freer, or poorer and duller? Ned was everything she disapproved of â scruffy, casual, pushy, puerile. Yet already he'd changed the day from Rocky Road to Strawberry Fizz.
The sun came out and stayed out. Ned and Magda won the egg-and-spoon race. Ned was munching his box-of-chocolates prize. âYou'll get fat,' said Magda.
âI am fat. Open up, Franny, for a Brazilian almond whirl.'
His fingers tasted of candyfloss and hot pennies. He traced them along her lips, kidnapping the last piece of almond for himself. The loudspeaker was blaring out again.
âThe next race will be the Barefoot Contessa's Mid-Fête Marathon. Any lady over eighteen who takes her shoes and stockings off is eligible to enter â¦'
âThis is it, Fran! Your big chance. Quick, take your shoes off!'
âBut I can't run in this tight skirt.'
âPut your jeans on then â quick â the catty ones. Come on, hurry! They're all lining up.'
She hardly knew what she was doing. Magda unzipped her skirt for her, while she removed her tights and eased the jeans on underneath. She could see Ned looking at her, her bottom sticking out provocatively, the fabric straining against her thighs. She must be out of her mind â changing her clothes in public, running in madcap races. Supposing she were seen. There might even be people from the Golf Club there â Charles would never live it down.
Bugger Charles! She sprinted towards the starting-line and squeezed in between a pair of bunions and a bad case of pigeon toes. Everyone was giggling and joking â including the announcer.
âAren't they a lovely lot, then? All those bare feet ⦠Wow, what a turn-on! Right then, girls. Ready, steady â¦'
Frances was running like a lynx. The bare feet made it easier. So did Ned, shouting on the sidelines, âCome on, Fran, come
on
!' as if he'd bet everything he owned on her. She willed her feet to go faster, could feel the grass skimming underneath them, cold and slippery. She was way in front, streaking ahead of all the rest. It paid to be small sometimes, small and swift and streamlined. She almost fell across the piece of string held taut by two PT teachers. The crowd was clapping wildly, as someone pinned a red rosette in the middle of her chest. âFirst' it said. A camera snapped. She was a Brent Edge celebrity, a barefoot contessa with muddy feet and grass between her toes. Ned and Magda were slapping her on the back, as she collapsed in a heap between them.