Cube Route (31 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Cube Route
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    “A baby!” Ida said, as surprised as Cube had been.

    Quickly Cube explained what had happened. “So I'll need to hurry there, but I don't know the way.”

    “Perhaps one of your Companions does.”

    “Karia! She can take me there.”

    “Unfortunately it is now night,” Ida said. “Flying is not safe at this time.”

    “But I need to get there by dawn!”

    “Perhaps your centaur can take you on the ground. The enchanted path should be safe even at night.”

    “Yes, that will have to do,” Cube said. “Uh, thank you, Princess Ida. There turned out to be a lot for me to do on the moons.”

    “When you are done with your Quest, you must return and tell me about it.”

    “I will!” Cube hurried out of the chamber, and out of the castle.

    When she was beyond the moat, she put her hand to the pouch. “Centaur.”

    Karia grasped her hand and slid out. “I see we are back at Castle Roogna, at night.”

    “Yes, and we need to get to Castle Zombie by dawn. Do you know the way? I understand that you won't fly at night, but if you know the enchanted paths--”

    “I do. Will you tell me why the sudden urgency?”

    “Yes. As we travel.” And while they traveled rapidly along the dark path, Cube told the centaur about Zombie Planet and the Hell Toupee and the baby girl with her deadline for delivery.

    “That is remarkable,” Karia agreed. “I wasn't aware that the storks made errors like that.”

    “They must have had an address, Castle Zombie, and not realized there were two of them.”

    “Perhaps. Yet I remember that Breanna of the Black Wave was active in the notorious case of the Swell Foop that won Counter Xanth from Demoness Fornax.”

    “Another trick by Fornax?” Cube asked. “But how would that interfere with my Quest?”

    “Perhaps you were not the target, this time. She might have been trying to punish Breanna.”

    “But hurting a little baby? I can't believe that.”

    “It may be that you lack the necessary evil mind.”

    That gave Cube an idea. “I can consider it with an evil mind.” She explained about the Hell Toupee. “Make sure I take it off again, just in case.”

    “I will.”

    Cube brought out the toupee and put it on her head. The nicety of the ploy was immediately apparent. “Oh, yes, that is the most effective punishment,” she said. “To deny Breanna what she most wants: a wonderful baby. Naturally I won't deliver Amber Dawn to her.”

    Karia's arm swung back and knocked the toupee off her head. It fell on the ground. “Leave it there,” the centaur said. “You're right: it is evil.”

    Cube shuddered. “Thanks--I needed that. But I'd better recover it. The thread led me to it, so there must be a reason for me to have it.”

    “That must be true,” Karia agreed reluctantly. She turned and trotted back. Cube dismounted, picked up the fallen toupee, put it in the pouch, and remounted.

    “When will we reach Castle Zombie?” Cube asked.

    “Two hours after midnight. You should get some sleep.”

    “I should,” Cube agreed. “But wake me if there is any trouble.”

    “I will do that.”

    Cube relaxed, lulled by the steady beat of the centaur's hooves. Soon she slept.

    Then Karia woke her. “Cube. Wake quietly.”

    Cube looked around. The centaur had stopped moving. Darkness was all around. “What's the problem?” she murmured low.

    “I seem to have lost the path. I don't know how it happened.”

    There was a burst of demonic laughter. “Ho ho ho! I did it, centaur! I tricked you from the enchanted path.”

    “Who are you?” Karia demanded.

    “I am Demon Viate.”

    “Ugh!”

    Cube realized there was a pun, as there often was in demons' names. D. Viate--deviate. Demons did not exactly have talents, but they did have specialties, and evidently this one's specialty was to cause travelers to lose their way.

    “Maybe we need a demon on our side,” Cube murmured. She put her hand to the pouch. “Metria.”

    The demoness emerged. She caught on instantly. “Viate, get your obscure posterior out of here!”

    “What are you doing here, Metria? Go make your own mischief.”

    “This is my mischief. Now put us back on the right path before I get annoyed.”

    “And what if I don't?”

    “I'll smack you on the kisser.”

    “How could you do that?” he demanded contemptuously, raising his fists.

    “Like this.” Metria popped across and caught the demon with a loud smack.

    “Ooooo!” Viate wailed, and vanished.

    “Darn!” Metria swore. “Maybe I kissed him too hard.”

    “We need to get back to the enchanted path,” Cube said, trying to stifle a smirk. “Can you find it?”

    “Let me look,” the demoness said, and popped off again.

    “You'll never find it,” another voice said.

    Cube couldn't see who spoke, but it sounded like a demon. Her nickelpedes wouldn't have any effect against a demon. So she tackled it forth-rightly. “Who are you?”

    A glowing manlike shape appeared. “Demon Vious, not at your service.”

    “Ugh!” Karia exclaimed.

    That would be D. Vious. Devious. There was unlikely to be any help there. But Cube had a notion: maybe he could be made to help if she used his own nature against him. So she got devious. “Let me talk to your awful girlfriend.”

    “Why would you want her?”

    “Why would you want to know?”

    Evidently perplexed, he yielded, probably curious about the point of her deviousness. “Cent!” he called.

    “Ugh!”

    A shimmeringly lovely outline appeared. “What is supposed to be so awful about me?” the demoness asked, sounding hurt.

    “Nothing,” Cube said quickly, giving the centaur a warning nudge with her knee. D. Cent was exactly whom they needed, a decent demoness. Naturally opposites attracted. “It's your boyfriend we don't like. You are Demoness Cent?”

    “I am. Is there any way I can help you?”

    “We have lost our way, and would like to return to the enchanted path. Will you show us?”

    “I regret I am unable.”

    This was one demon who would be unlikely to deceive them. “Why is that?”

    “Because this is the Isle of the Goles. It relates to Xanth only once a day, actually night, at midnight, and has no connection at other times. So there is no way to the enchanted path. Not until next midnight.”

    “But we can't wait that long!”

    “I am extremely regretful,” Cent said sincerely. "Perhaps my former boyfriend Termined can help you.

    “Ugh!” But at least the centaur had the wit to muffle it this time.

    Demon Termined--D. Termined. That sounded promising. “Yes, we would like to talk with him.”

    “Termined!” she called.

    “Demon Termined here,” a new voice said. “I happen to be busy at the moment, but if you really want to make up--”

    “No,” Cent said. “I want you to help these nice folk get off the isle. Viate led them astray, and they need to leave immediately.”

    “But they must wait until midnight.”

    “We know that,” Cube said. “But we thought that if anyone could help us leave sooner, you are the one. You have such--”

    Karia tried to stifle her ugh but some of it leaked out anyway.

    “Resoluteness,” Cube said firmly. “Surely there is some way, for a person like you.”

    “Hm. What kind of deal do you offer?”

    This was progress, of a sort. “Maybe there is something we can do for you in return.”

    “Maybe there is. I am trying to train a surly mortal horse. How are you at horses?”

    Cube knew nothing about horses, but did not feel it would be expedient to say that. “Perhaps if I saw the horse.”

    “This way. The corral is nearby.” The demon lighted the way along another path. Karia followed, with Cube still riding.

    Metria reappeared. “There's no path back,” she said, frustrated. “This island has no connection to Xanth.”

    “Not until midnight,” Karia informed her. “It seems we were led here at the one time it was possible.”

    “That's a suspicious coincidence.”

    “Fornax, again,” Cube muttered. “She must have enlisted Demon Viate to do it.”

    Metria glowed purple. “I could get annoyed, if I tried.”

    “Our best course is to find our way through despite her,” Karia said. “Not only will that enable us to complete the Quest, it will make her madder than ever.”

    Cube and Metria laughed together.

    They arrived at the corral. Within it stood a bold warrior horse with a glittering harness and saddle. “What a magnificent creature!” Cube exclaimed.

    “He's an ornery brute,” Termined said. “I can't do a thing with him.” He threatened the horse with a whip that appeared in his hand.

    “Don't you dare!” Cent cried, outraged.

    The horse's ears laid back. Suddenly the demon groaned and fell to the ground. “$$$$!” he swore villainously, puffing into smoke. “He did it again!”

    “Now this is interesting,” Karia murmured approvingly. “This is obviously a highly trained horse, and he has some kind of power.”

    “He may not like demons,” Metria said.

    “He may not like being disparaged or abused,” Cube said. “I appreciate that.”

    The horse's head turned toward her. He evidently understood what they were saying.

    “Let me see what I can do,” Cube said, dismounting. “Termined, what is his name?”

    “Charles.”

    Cube approached the horse. “Hello, Charles. I've probably forgotten more than I ever knew about horses, but you strike me as a remarkable specimen. I hope you will talk with me.”

    The horse nodded.

    “Do you like demons?”

    Charles shook his head.

    “Do you like being called an ornery brute?”

    He shook his head.

    “Do you like girls?”

    The horse nodded.

    “What about me?”

    Charles hesitated.

    “I'm a mortal girl,” Cube clarified. “Even if I'm not beautiful.”

    The horse looked embarrassed. He sniffed her hair. Then he nodded, recognizing her as a girl.

    “You evidently have a magic talent. You can make a person hurt.”

    Charles nodded.

    “Ugh!”

    Karia had just caught on to a pun. Cube cudgeled her balky brain, and managed to get it. “Is your nickname Charlie? Charlie Horse?”

    He nodded.

    “So you can give muscle spasms to folk that bother you.”

    He nodded.

    “I like you, Charles. I have a talent like yours, in a way. I can conjure and control nickelpedes.” A nickelpede appeared in her hand. “It's unlady-like but useful.”

    Charles nuzzled her cheek. He liked her.

    Cube banished the bug. “I considered making a deal to make you manageable, in return for being shown a way off this island. I can't make that deal, because you're not unmanageable, you just don't like being treated like dirt. I know the feeling. You have the right of the case.”

    The horse gazed at her soulfully.

    Cube faced Demon Termined. “No deal. I can't make this horse treat you with a respect you don't deserve.”

    “I can't get you off the isle before midnight, either,” the demon responded.

    “Why you bundle of stinkweed!” Metria exclaimed. “I ought to smack you one, like this.” She puffed across and have him a lip-smacking kiss.

    “Ungh! Keep the #### horse; he's your problem now.” The demon disappeared. Demoness Cent also faded out, and Vious was already gone.

    “It seems the horse is yours,” Karia murmured.

    “He's not mine! I don't own him.” Could this be another unlooked for discovery? No, because she wasn't carrying the pacifier, so that she could use her own name and summon nickelpedes. Just to be sure, she put her hand to the pouch and found it there.

    “Yours because he chooses to be,” the centaur clarified. “He likes you.”

    “Oh--like a Companion.” She faced Charles. “You want to come along with us?”

    The horse nodded. He nibbled at Cube's pocket where she had just absent-mindedly put the magic pacifier.

    “Hey, you don't want that!” Cube protested.

    “Yes he does,” the demoness said.

    Cube sighed. “Okay, I'll fasten it to your saddle. But it will change your name and your luck.” She took the pacifier and fastened it.

    “Not that we know where we're going,” Metria said.

    “Maybe the goles can help us,” Karia said.

    “The whats?”

    "Don't you remember? This is Gole Isle.

    “Oh. Yes. You have a sharper memory than I do.”

    “Centaurs do. Why don't you ride Seren? He'd like that.”

    Cube turned to the horse. “Would you?”

    Seren nodded.

    She put her foot in the stirrup and climbed into the saddle. It was surprisingly comfortable. “Do I have to use the reins? I don't know reins.”

    The horse shrugged. The reins disappeared.

    Cube considered that for half a moment, and decided not to say anything. Obviously Seren had always been his own horse, when he chose to be.

    “I think you don't need me now,” Karia said. “Since there is nothing I can do to return us to the path, I'll return to the pouch.” She did so.

    “Me too,” Metria said, and slid in also, with another naughty display of thigh. Apparently she couldn't help being seductive, even when there were no men to freak out.

    “We need to find the goles,” Cube said to the horse. She felt uncomfortably alone, but refused to give up hope.

    Seren set off at a trot. Cube grabbed the saddle horn, not used to the gait. Somehow Karia had always managed to walk or fly in a way that made Cube secure, but of course she was not a horse.

    Soon they came to a lighted village. As they did, two creatures came to meet them. They were about as strange as Cube had seen. They were humanoid in shape, but their heads were those of horses and they had the hoofs and tails of horses. They also had wings. They looked like winged centaurs gone wrong.

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