Crystal Lies (6 page)

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Authors: Melody Carlson

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“Oh, they’re for Sarah,” I told her. “She needed some things for her dorm room this fall.”

Elaine frowned. “Pretty nice threads for a dorm room, don’t you think?”

I smiled. “Oh, you know how it goes, Elaine. Nothings too good for your kids, right?”

She nodded but looked unconvinced, and I hurried back into the house and closed the door, my heart pounding in my ears as I leaned against it. I don’t know why I felt like a thief, but I did. What was I taking really? Only the kinds of things Geoffrey would gladly toss out if given the opportunity. And, after all, I reminded myself, it was only yesterday that he’d tossed out his own son. I was only making it easier for him.

It wasn’t long before the Range Rover was packed full and I was driving back across town, feeling like both a thief and a fugitive. But before I headed to the apartment, I decided to swing by the lumber yard to see if Jacob’s Subaru was there. Unfortunately, it was not. I knew this meant that my son was jobless again. How was he supposed to survive on the streets without a job or money? What exactly was Geoffrey trying to accomplish with his little plan? Did he want Jacob to sell himself for money? To become a drug dealer? To wind up in prison or to die in a gutter somewhere?

“No,” I told myself as I pulled into my parking spot, number thirty-six,“you are not a thief or a fugitive. You are simply a mother who loves her son and wants to make a place for him to come home to. It might not be much, but it’s better than the streets or jail.”

By noon I had hauled all my salvaged items into the apartment, which was beginning to look quite crowded despite the lack of actual furnishings. But that was mostly due to the fact that I had dumped everything onto the floor in what I must admit was a rather dysfunctional manner. But then I wondered why I should even care. Why should I expect anything about my life to be functional anymore?

I stood and stared at the colorful heaps piled around my ankles. It
looked as if my other house had regurgitated all the items that my husband had never wanted, and somehow they had landed here in this shabby little place, along with me. But then I suspected my husband would be glad to be rid of me as well.

My plan was to take a quick shower and return to the house to pick up a few larger items that I hadn’t been able fit into my first load. One was an old oak rocker that had belonged to my grandmother. Another was a small dresser I’d had as a child. And then there was the small pine table that had been from my father’s side of the family.

I desperately hoped I wouldn’t find Geoffrey at home. That would be out of character for him at this time of day, but then he hadn’t gone home last night either. Nor had he left a message on either my cell phone or the home phone. That was out of character too. But I spied no sleek, black Porsche in the driveway and knew I was probably home free again since he rarely parked his car in the garage in the middle of the day.

Hoping to avoid the watchful eye of my neighbor, I opened the garage door and backed the Range Rover into it so I could quickly load my items and escape without further questions. Just as I was lugging the dresser through the kitchen, I heard the phone ringing. I paused long enough to listen to the answering machine pick it up, and then I heard Sherry’s voice again.

“Sorry to bother you, Glennis,” she was saying. “But I just keep thinking of—”

I snatched the phone and breathlessly said,“Hello.”

“Oh, Glennis,” she said, relief in her voice. “Am I catching you at a bad time?”

“Well, sort of.” I glanced at the dresser in the middle of the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. Do you want me to call back later?”

“How about if I call you back on my cell in just a few minutes?”

“Great. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Better yet,”—I felt a wave of hunger coming over me—“can you meet me for lunch at…” I was trying to think of a place away from downtown and city hall or anyplace where I might run into Geoffrey.

“How about Ziddies?” she suggested.

“Perfect,” I said in relief since Ziddies was a new lunch spot near the mall, a place where Geoffrey would never think to go. “Sure, I’d love to. When?”

I glanced at my watch. It was already one fifteen. “How about one thirty?”

“Great, I’ll be there.”

So I managed to get the dresser safely loaded onto the blanket that I’d spread out over the backseat of the Range Rover. I knew Geoffrey would be furious if I damaged the precious leather seats. At the same time, I wondered why I even cared. Habit, I guess. Geoffrey had picked out this Range Rover when both kids were still in high school. He said it was the “perfect family vehicle,” although I had suspected he simply liked the idea of driving one of the most expensive rigs in town. For several years he was the primary driver of the Range Rover and parked it in prominent places at city hall as if to proclaim to anyone paying attention that Geoffrey Harmon had made it in this town… that the city attorney was a big success. But after a few years, he had grown tired of the Range Rover’s size, or so he said, and that’s when he urged me to trade in my old Mercedes for his new Porsche. Naturally, I became the driver of the slightly used Range Rover. At first I had balked at the size, but I soon grew accustomed to the luxury of this quality SUV and began to think of it as my own. How long would
that
continue, I wondered as I locked the back door to what used to be my house. Then I got in the Range Rover and left, without looking back even once.

I spotted Sherry in a corner booth, already sipping a coffee. “Sorry to be late,” I told her as I slid in across from her.

“No problem.” She smiled. “It sounded like you were busy What’re you up to these days?”

I sighed. “It’s a long story.”

She nodded and handed me a menu. “I’ve got time.”

I nervously glanced around the restaurant, not sure whom I expected to see, but thankful not to recognize any of the faces. Then I skimmed the menu and decided on the turkey-and-apple salad just as the waitress arrived to take our orders.

“Now, don’t take this wrong,” began Sherry after the waitress had left,“but you don’t look so good.”

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“I know you’ve been going through the wringer with Jacob this summer,” she continued,“but you still need to take care of yourself.”

Sherry was the only person I’d been able to confide in about Jacob. And then only partially. She had no idea that he was using drugs. She thought he was just going through a little rebellious period and partying like so many of the kids in our town seemed to do. The same way her own two sons had done not so many years ago. But now her boys were doing fine, and she would often tell me that, as if to reassure me that it would soon be the case with Jacob as well.

I weighed my options as I watched her stirring her coffee. I could spill
my guts and risk shocking her so badly that I would lose her friendship entirely—if that was possible, and I wasn’t even sure. Or I could skim the surface as I usually did and risk the chance that she’d find out about everything soon enough and be mad at me for not having come clean sooner. Although Sherry, more than anyone I knew, was not a person to hold a grudge. She was the most gracious friend I’d ever had, and now, perhaps more than ever, I needed that.

“Things have gotten worse,” I told her.

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

“Is it Jacob?”

“It’s Jacob and Geoffrey and me.” I shook my head. “It’s all of us, I suppose.”

“What’s going on, Glennis?”

“I’ve left Geoffrey.”

Her blue eyes grew wide. “No, you’re not serious? When? What happened?”

And so I began to tell her about Jacob’s arrest and the fight over bailing him out and how Geoffrey had thrown his own son out. I paused as the waitress brought us our order.

“But, Glennis,” said Sherry after the waitress left again,“you don’t want to leave Geoffrey just because he threw Jacob out. Do you?”

“It’s more than that,” I told her in a tired voice. “It’s like I couldn’t breathe in that house anymore. It’s like I never belonged there in the first place. I mean as long as everything was absolutely picture perfect, as long as we all stayed in our proper places and played our perfect little roles, well, then Geoffrey was happy. But one wrong step, one false move, and Geoffrey would be on us like—” I stopped speaking when I saw a familiar face coming into the restaurant.

“What’s wrong?” asked Sherry.

“Oh, someone just came in…”

“Who?”

“Oh, it’s just Judith Ramsey,” I said in a hushed voice.

“The city manager?”

“Yes.” I remembered the photo but told myself not to be ridiculous.

“Is she alone?”

“She’s with a couple of women. I can’t remember their names, but they look familiar. I’m sure they work at city hall too.” I shifted where I was sitting so that the post behind Sherry managed to block me from their view.

“Didn’t I hear that Judith got divorced recently?”

“Last year.” I peeked around the post momentarily. “And, don’t look now, but I could swear that woman’s had some plastic surgery done.”

Sherry giggled. “I’m afraid to ask where.”

“Don’t.”

“Are you uncomfortable talking now?” asked Sherry in a gentle voice. “We could go somewhere else.”

I glanced back over to where the three women had just sat down not far from the door and decided they couldn’t hear us. Besides, I told myself, why should I care?“I doubt they’d even recognize me anyway.” I sighed. “Looking like this I mean.”

“Well, you don’t really look like yourself today, Glennis.” She patted my hand. “But now I can understand why.”

“It all feels like a bad dream,” I told her. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up and everything will be like it was before.”

“And that would be okay?”

“Well, maybe not. It wasn’t so great before, either.”

“But do you think you and Geoffrey would still be together if things hadn’t gotten so, well, so out of hand with Jacob?”

I still hadn’t told her about the drugs. I wasn’t sure I even planned to. Or at least maybe not today. It seemed we had enough of the family’s dirty laundry tossed onto the table for one day.

“I suppose it’s possible, Sherry. I don’t really know. Everything seems kind of hazy and blurry to me right now.”

“I can imagine. So where are you staying? A hotel?”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t quite believe I did it myself, but I signed a six-month lease on an apartment.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” She looked at me in disbelief. “When did all this happen?”

“Yesterday.”

“You left Geoffrey yesterday and signed a six-month lease the very same day?

“I did.

“Oh my.”

“Do you think I made a mistake?” I leaned forward and peered into her eyes, longing for some sort of confirmation or encouragement.

“I don’t know what to think, Glennis. It’s all so sudden. I’m sure your head must be spinning.”

“It is. I literally feel a little dizzy.”

She pointed at my untouched food. “Eat your salad.”

I obliged her and considered my straits. Telling Sherry about all this made it more real somehow. What
had I
gotten myself into?

“What did Geoffrey say?”

“He doesn’t know”

“Doesn’t know? But you said you left yesterday. What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. As far as I can tell, he never came home last night either.

“Really? Do you think he’s okay?”

“I’m sure he’s perfectly fine. Probably just steamed at me for stepping over the line when I bailed out our son.”

She frowned. “It would be hard to leave your son in jail, even for just one night.”

“That’s how I felt. But Geoffrey thought it would be good for him—those were his exact words. He was really angry at me yesterday morning. He probably thought it would shake me up when he didn’t come home last night.” Despite everything that had gone on during the last twenty-four hours, I couldn’t help but giggle. “But then I never went home either.”

“You two.” She shook her head.

I sighed. “Too bad all this drama has just been going to waste.”

“You should see a counselor, Glennis.”

“I should see a counselor? What about Geoffrey? Or Jacob, for that matter?”

“Well, yes, of course. But you can’t force them to get help.”

“Tell me about it.”

“But you can get help for yourself.”

I studied her for a moment, so together in her off-white jacket and matching capri pants. Even the pale blue shell under her jacket seemed to bring out the color of her eyes. Her light brown hair styled neatly as usual and makeup just perfect, Sherry had it all together. I suspected that even her handbag and shoes matched. In some ways this was just the kind of woman that Geoffrey would appreciate. But she was devoted to her husband, a fine Christian man who had a reputation for being one of the only honest building contractors in town. I’d met Sherry at a women’s Bible study. I’d been as impressed with her intelligent comments as I was with her coordinated wardrobe. I wasn’t surprised to learn that she worked part-time as a very successful real-estate agent. It seemed that everything Sherry touched had a way of turning into gold. I suppose I’d hoped some
of that would rub off onto me. Based on the recent events of my life, that had clearly not been the case.

“I know a woman,” she continued, and suddenly I wondered if I’d missed something.

“What?”

“A counselor.”

“Oh, right.”

“She’s wonderful. I know you’ll love her. Her name is Lucy Abrams. I’ll give you her number.” Already Sherry had located a neat little notepad in her handbag and was writing down a name and number. She pushed it across the table to me. “It’s not that I don’t want to listen to you, Glennis. I do. But I just don’t feel qualified to give you advice about, well, your marriage and everything. I’m afraid I might fall back on my old fundamentalist roots and start preaching at you about how divorce is the devil’s domain.” She made a face. “You know, stuff like that.”

I nodded. I did know. She and I had both come from pretty conservative church backgrounds where words like
forgiveness, grace
, and
mercy
were seldom heard. But we’d found comfort in each other and in the understanding we had as a result of our upbringing.

“It’s not that I think divorce is a good thing,” she continued. “But I do believe there are some cases where marriages can’t continue. For instance, abuse. I would never encourage a woman who’s being abused to stay in her marriage.”

“Well, Geoffrey never abused me. At least not physically.”

The three women from city hall were getting up to leave. But I suspected that Judith had noticed me when her face suddenly changed from its otherwise placid expression to something akin to slight shock. I’m sure it was because I was looking so pathetic, like some unfortunate bag lady that Sherry had kindly picked up off the street and offered a meal. Even so, I managed to hold up my hand in a pitiful little wave and smile. To
my relief, Judith smiled back and then simply exited. I would’ve been mortified if she’d come any closer or even greeted me in my current condition. And I couldn’t imagine what she might possibly say to my husband the next time their paths crossed, and I felt sure they would. Perhaps she would ask him if his wife had been seriously ill.

“Did they go?” asked Sherry.

“Yes. But Judith recognized me.”

“Well, you know it’s only a matter of time before everyone starts hearing about this.” Then she held up her hand as if in an oath. “But rest assured, Glennis, they won’t be hearing it from me.”

“Thanks.”

“So what about Jacob? Does he know about this yet?”

“No. I’ve been looking all over town for him. I think he got fired from his job for not showing up today.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid he’s just about exhausted all the minimum-wage jobs in Stafford by now.”

“He must have quite an interesting résumé.”

I pushed my plate away. “I just hope I can find him, before, well, before anything bad happens.”

“What do you think might happen?”

“Well, I can’t imagine how he must feel, being kicked out of his home by his own father. Just before he left, he told me that he knew his dad hated him.”

“That’s too bad.”

“I guess I’m worried that he might be depressed, you know, and possibly do something foolish.” I didn’t mention my biggest fear—that he might accidentally overdose.

“But Jacob wouldn’t harm himself, would he?”

“It’s hard to say.” I wrapped the paper napkin around my finger like
a tourniquet. “He was pretty down and discouraged when he left the house yesterday.”

“Do you think he’s staying with friends for a while?”

“I don’t know. But even if he is, how long can that last when he doesn’t have a job or anything to fall back on?” I wanted to say, how long can that last if he can’t pay his so-called friends for their stupid drugs? But I didn’t.

“Maybe he’ll try to call you on your cell phone,” she offered.

“Maybe. So far he hasn’t. I just want him to know that I’ve moved out and that he can come stay with me. I want him to know he has a place. I plan to fix up the second bedroom for him. It’s pretty small, but—”

“But it’s a roof over his head.” Sherry smiled. “And I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

“If he ever figures it out…”

“Did I tell you that Matthew is home for a couple of weeks before college starts again next month? How about if I ask him to keep an eye out for Jacob while he’s here? He probably still knows a lot of the places where kids hang out these days.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. Matthew may have had his troubles a few years back, but he’d never sunk so low as my son. “Sure,” I told her. “I’d appreciate that.”

“Well, at least I know why I kept thinking of you lately,” she said in a sad voice. “And I really have been praying for you, Glennis. Guess I’ll have to pray even harder now.”

I studied her. “Do you really think it makes a difference?”

She didn’t seem surprised by my question. “I know what you mean. And I can remember feeling like that too. Especially when Matthew and Mark were going through their drinking and partying era. I swear that’s the year when my hair went completely gray.” She patted her head. “Of course, I don’t have to tell the whole world about that.” She smiled. “But
I can remember those sleepless nights when I felt certain I’d be called to the emergency room to identify one of my sons.”

I nodded. “I’ve had those exact same thoughts.”

“And I can remember praying the same things over and over again.” She sighed. “It was always, ‘Keep them safe, God. Just take care of them until they can take care of themselves.’”

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