Cry Wolf (55 page)

Jack frowned, shooting her a sideways look. “I must be losin' my touch.”

Laurel sniffed. “Losing your mind is more like it. You belong in a hospital. My God, you weren't even conscious the last time I saw you!”

“I'll live.”

Dismissing the topic, he looked down at her, taking in the deep shadows beneath her eyes. She couldn't have looked more exquisitely feminine or fragile, like a priceless piece of porcelain. That fragility had frightened him once, before he had discovered the strength that ran through it like threads of steel. But he had a feeling the strength was flagging today.

“How about you, sugar? How you doin'?”

“Savannah's funeral was today,” she said quietly.

Jack slipped an arm around her shoulders and eased her against him, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. It was all he needed to do. Laurel splayed her hand against his warm bare chest, above the pristine white bandage that bound his ribs, and simply cherished the way his heartbeat felt beneath her hand.

“I would have been there for you if I could have.”

She looked up at him, her face carefully blank as she tried to assess the shift of feelings in him and between them. “You don't do funerals.”

“Yeah, well . . .” He sighed, fixing his gaze on the roses that climbed the brick wall beside them. “That doesn't stop me from losin' friends, does it? It only stops me from being one.”

“Is that what we are?” Laurel asked quietly. “Friends?”

“You saved my life.”

“And you saved mine,” she returned, rising to pace in front of the bench with her arms crossed tight against her. “What does that make us? Even?”

“What do you want it to make us?” Jack asked, hearing the edge in his voice and cursing himself for it. He hadn't come here to fight with her. He had come for—what? And why? Because he couldn't stay away? Because he thought he had to end what had taken root and twined around his heart like the ivy that curled around the foot of the bench?
You can't have it both ways, Jack.

“I want more,” Laurel admitted. If that made her a fool, then she was a fool. If it made her weak, then she was weak. It was the truth. Too much of her life had been tied up in lies. She stopped her pacing and looked him in the eye, as sober as a judge. “I love you, Jack. I keep telling myself I shouldn't, but I do.”

“You're right, angel.” Gritting his teeth against the pain, he rose slowly. “You shouldn't,” he murmured and moved toward the gate, avoiding looking at her. If he looked at her, he would never be able to walk away.

“Not because you don't deserve it, Jack,” Laurel said, catching hold of his arm. “Because it would be easier not to. But I had an easy relationship once, and it might have been safe, but it wasn't fair to either of us.

“I can't take the easy way out, Jack,” she murmured, already trembling inside in anticipation of his answer. “Will you?”

“Sure,” he said, his voice little more than rough smoke, his eyes trained on some indistinguishable point in the middle distance. “Haven't you figured it out by now, sugar? I'm a coward and a cad—”

“You're neither,” Laurel said strongly. “If you were a coward, they would have buried me beside my sister today. If you were a cad, you wouldn't be trying so damn hard to do the noble thing and walk away from this.”

Tears rose effortlessly in her eyes, riding on the crest of her emotions. She tightened her grip on the solid muscle of his biceps, her small fingers barely making a dent. “In a lot of ways you're as good a man as I've ever known, Jack Boudreaux,” she said hoarsely. “I'd like a chance to make you believe that.”

And he wanted to believe it. God in heaven, how he wanted to believe it. The need was an ache within him he had spent a lifetime trying to bury. The need to be worth something, the need to be important to somebody.

He closed his eyes against it now, terrified the need would swallow him whole, terrified this moment was just a dream, a cruel joke, as every small hope of his childhood had been a cruel joke. It didn't make sense that she should love him. It didn't follow the plot line of his life that he should have this chance at happiness. There had to be a catch. The other shoe would drop on his head any minute now.

He just stood there, waiting, staring past her. His chin was quivering as he pressed his lips into a thin line. He blinked to clear his vision.

“Haven't you paid enough, Jack?” Laurel whispered. “Haven't we both?”

“I dunno.” He tried to shrug, winced at the pain. “You want a husband? You want babies?”

More than anything, she thought. The idea of giving him a second chance at those dreams, the idea of giving him a child, of the two of them creating a brand-new life that would begin with no mistakes and no regrets was a wish she had scarcely let herself imagine.

“I want a future,” she said simply, the wish too precious, too fragile to voice. “I want to go beyond the past. I want you to go with me.”

A life beyond the past. A life he had told himself he could have only in his dreams. He stepped back from her, slicking a hand back through his hair to rub the back of his neck.

Laurel watched him, holding her breath while her heart raced.

Jack turned and faced her, seeing all her hope, her fear, her pure, sweet beauty.

“I told myself if I had a drop of honor in me, I'd walk away from you,” he said softly. His lips twisted at the corners into a crooked, ironic smile. “Lucky me, I never had much to start with.”

Laurel went into his arms, her heart overflowing. She pressed her cheek against his chest. “You've got more than you know,” she whispered.

“I've got all I need if I've got you,” he said, and he lowered his mouth to hers for a kiss that was both bonding and beginning, promise and fulfillment . . . and love.

Epilogue

The
pirogue
slices through the bayou, as silent as a blade. The sun melts down in the west, as rich and warm as molten gold. All around, the swamp is dim and hushed. Waiting, peaceful. The frogs sing among the lilies. An egret glides down to join its mate in their nest of sticks on the trunk of a fallen cypress.

I look down at the woman in the boat. She smiles as if I own the moon. The courage of a tiger. The gentleness of a dove. My wife. I was nothing without her.

I pole the boat forward, toward home, and know contentment for the first time in my life.

Glossary of Cajun French Words
and Phrases Used in This Book

allée
avenue, path

allons danser
let's dance

allons jouer la music, pas les femmes
let's go play
music, not women

arrête sa
stop it

baire
mosquito netting

bâteau
boat

beau-père
stepfather

bébé
baby

bon à rien, tu, 'tit souris
good for nothing, you,
little mouse

bon Dieu
good God

bon Dieu avoir pitié
good
God have mercy

bonjour
good day

c'est assez
that is enough

c'est la vie
that is life

c'est vrai
that is true

c'est la guerre
that is war

catin
doll

cher/chère/chérie
term of
endearment

coonass
slang term for
Cajun, often derogatory

dépêche-toi
hurry up

espèces de tête dure
you
hardheaded thing

etalon
stud, stallion

grand rond
literally “big
circle,” traditionally called
at the start of a fight

grand-mère
grandmother

gris-gris
spell, charm
(as with voodoo)

joie
de
vie
joy of life

jolie
fille
pretty lady

laissez le bon temps rouler
let the good times roll

Le Mascarade
The
Masquerade

ma
belle
my beautiful

ma
douce
amie
my sweet
love

ma
bon
pichouette
my
good little girl

mais
oui/mais
yeah
but yes

mais
sa
c'est
fou
that's
crazy

ma
jolie
fille
my pretty
girl

“Ma
Petite
Fille
Est
Gone”
My Little Girl Is Gone

merci/merci
boucoup
thanks/many thanks

mon
ami
my friend

mon
coeur
my heart

oui
yes

pas
de
bétises
no joking

pas
du
tout
not at all

petite
fleur
little flower

pirogue
canoelike craft

restaurant et salle de danse
restaurant and dance
hall

roux
flour browned in
fat, used for thickening
gravy etc.

s'il vous plait
please

sa c'est de la couyonade
that is foolishness

sa me fait de le pain
I'm sorry

sa
c'est
honteu
that's a
shame

son
pine
his penis

techeue
poule
chicken ass

'tit boule
little balls

'tite ange
little angel

'tite chatte
little cat

traiteur
folk healer

tu
menti
you lie

une belle femme
the pretty
woman

va-te'n
go away

“Valse de Grand Mèche”
The Big Marsh Waltz

viens
ici
come here

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DUST TO DUST

ASHES TO ASHES

A THIN DARK LINE

GUILTY AS SIN

NIGHT SINS

DARK PARADISE

CRY WOLF

STILL WATERS

LUCKY'S LADY

SARAH'S SIN

MAGIC

And coming soon in hardcover

KILL THE MESSENGER

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