Cry of the Wolf (15 page)

He shook his head. “I messed up. I wanted to be there for her—”

“You have been.” His voice went quiet. “She doesn’t talk to me the way she talks to you.”

Taylor looked up. Was he upset about that? “An old friend of Sarah’s called – one we hadn’t been in touch with for a while. She demanded to know why Sarah’s ‘pretending’ I don’t exist, and now she’s booked herself on the next plane from New York. And Lydia heard – saw – how upset I was for Sarah … fuck…” He ate another marshmallow. “How can I be with Lydia when I hurt so much over Sarah? It’s not fair. It’s not fair on her … and,” he hesitated, sneaking a glance at Ryan.

“And?”

His neck heated with embarrassment. “Lawrence got there first.”

Ryan’s face was a mask of stillness for exactly three seconds, and then he tipped his head back and howled with laughter.

The embarrassment spread to his cheeks.

“
There
he is!” cried out Ryan amid guffaws and hoots. “
There’s
your wolf!”

“It’s not funny!”

“Oh, fuck, it is.” He wiped the corners of his eyes. “Taylor, the treasured best friend, the neutral advisor – the
human
– finally gets territorial.
Finally.
”

Taylor glowered at Ryan.

“I feel like popping champagne.”

He threw down his marshmallow stick, his anger mounting, and rose to his feet. “It’s not about that.”

“Like hell it isn’t.”

“It isn’t
just
about that; it’s
everything
! Everything’s so messed up and confusing. Every time I’m near her I get as erect as the fucking Eiffel Tower – have you forgotten I was there for her
before
the mating took place?
Before
she even found you? I was there, I was with her, and smelling you on her … and now Lawrence…” He smacked his forehead against a tree in defeat. “It pisses me off and … god damn it, it turns me on. It actually turns me
on
. It makes it harder
not
to go to her, and I’ve been waiting – or trying to – until I can let Sarah go … and I thought this morning I had…” He sighed, then heard Ryan come up behind him.

Turning around, he was surprised to find him in animal form again.

The wolf reached up towards Taylor’s hand and gave it a couple of licks. It was a ‘thank you’, from wolf to man.

Aw, shit. He was gonna cry again.

Ryan changed back into his human body. “Of course I haven’t forgotten. She might be dead if it weren’t for you, and for it to be you out of all of us, with all your hang-ups, that gave yourself to her in that way… No. I haven’t forgotten. But, Taylor,” he grasped the back of his neck, all healed up from their scrap, only seriousness in his eyes now … and for one very rare moment, Taylor caught a glimpse of the real reason he was the successful Alpha he was; why everyone respected his experience and took his lead, “you have
got
to
accept
it. When fate fucks you over, you submit, because you can’t see the bigger picture until you’ve surrendered yourself to it.”

“I can’t force myself to—”

“To submit isn’t to be forced. It’s to yield
to
a force greater than your own, in order to become part of the whole.”

Like submitting to the Alpha to become part of the pack,
added the wolf inside him.

A strange calm fell over him. Shit … he was getting it. It was one of those instants where your mind sort of expanded, even if those instants never seemed to last that long.

He nodded.

Ryan pulled away from him and gave himself a shake. “Yuuugh,” he mumbled. “I don’t do this Gandhi shit often, it ruins my reputation and it’s fucking exhausting.” He packed up the marshmallows and put them back in the tree trunk they’d come from, then put out the fire. “You wanna walk back or run?”

Taylor offered him a small smile. “Where did you learn to do that Gandhi shit?”

Ryan grunted. “The pack I originally hail from were big on stuff like that. Maybe one day I’ll tell you all about it while you feed me cookies and milk or something.”

“You
should
do it more often.”

“Yeah, yeah, you wanna hug too? Now, walk or run… Make a damn choice.”

His smile widened. “I want to run.”

Chapter Nine

Lydia tried to ignore the feelings of nervousness that fluttered in her stomach.

After Taylor’s little episode over the fact that she had been with Lawrence, she’d swallowed back her hurt and picked up the trail of clothes he’d left on the floor after he’d shifted.

Lawrence had squeezed her hand once, his expression as unreadable as ever, and then had left her to it.

She had gone up to her room, showered, dried herself and changed into her maître d’ uniform without feeling any better.

Now, she picked up Taylor’s clothes from where she’d left them on her chair, folded and laid them on her bed, not wanting to enter his own room without his permission. On top of the pile, she placed the five material bracelets he occasionally wore, and her heart hurt a little more. She’d asked him about them a couple of weeks back, and he’d told her they were something that Sarah and he had shared: they’d given each other a friendship bracelet for each year they’d been together. They never took them off … at least he hadn’t as a human. Nowadays, however, he didn’t wear them often because he was too afraid of losing them if he shifted. Like he did earlier, she supposed.

She stuffed his socks into his shoes and slid them neatly under her bed.

There, that was better.

Silence engulfed her.

On impulse she grabbed his folded shirt, scrunched it up to her nose and breathed it in. Her heart ached. Did he not know? Did he not know it was his scent,
him
, that had saved her life … his scent on her blouse?

No, because you never told him…

Damn it.

Selfish idiot. There you go, shutting people out again.

She whipped off the top she’d just put on and slipped his shirt on instead without bothering to button it up, the way it smelled – all green and musky – taking her back to that night she’d been so confused, and in so much pain… “Your scent was the only thing that kept me sane,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry.”

She all but screamed as she turned to face the door.

Taylor stood there, naked, hands and feet muddied, smudges of dirt all over his body, brown hair tousled, green eyes shining in apology.

“I didn’t hear you.”

“I was quiet.”

“I didn’t smell you.”

“Because you’re wearing my shirt.” Desire darkened his eyes at those words, but only for a second, and then he was back to apologetic.

“Taylor,” she began, but stopped right there, because she didn’t actually know how to begin. It shouldn’t be hard, because she and Taylor had fallen into an easy friendship since their mating – the kind of friendship she’d never had with anyone else – but this … this was different.

He shut her bedroom door then walked towards her, the action reminding her of the moment she’d woken up in this house. He’d been the first person she’d seen – he’d always been there.
How can he not know…

The smell of the woods came off him in waves, as well as Ryan’s aroma. The heady combination of Taylor, Ryan and nature, did unexpected things to her – hot, sinful things.

She cleared her throat, but her voice still came out husky. “Ryan found you.”

Taylor nodded. He stopped right in front of her. “You showered.”

Heat flamed her face. She’d hadn’t wanted to shower, preferring to keep Lawrence’s scent on her so she could get to know it better – get to know
him
better – but the way Taylor had reacted… “I thought you’d … I mean … I thought you’d prefer it if—”

He cursed out loud and grasped the side of her face, running his thumb along her lip, smudging it with woodland dirt. She moaned and flicked her tongue out to taste the earth … and Taylor … and Ryan.

“I acted like a jerk. I got scared. I’m sorry.” There was that desire reflecting in his eyes again. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to be ready for you. Lydia, there’s nothing about you that repels me – there’s nothing about this mating arrangement that turns me off.” He leaned into her, his erection against her hip, and whispered in her ear, “Do you like it? The scent of Ryan on me?”

Oh. My. God.
She was soaking wet and fired up in ways she didn’t think she had the energy for right now. “Yes.”

“Well then…” He moved his head down to where her neck met her shoulder, nestled his nose into Lawrence’s bite mark and breathed in deeply. His reaction to their combined fragrance was obvious to her, and just in case it wasn’t, he took her hand and guided it to his very stiff cock.

She kind of lost the plot then. She grabbed his shaft the same time she grabbed his hair, tugging him in both places, every emotion she’d ever felt for him swelling inside her.

He made a low, lascivious sound. Frenzied, demanding kisses landed higher up her neck, on the side of her face; tongue, lips, teeth – all between heavy pants and gasps.

“Taylor,” she stuttered out. “You have to know…”
good lord, what is he doing with his mouth…
“how much you mean to me. I can’t lose you.”

“How can you lose me? You’ve owned me from the first moment I saw you.” His mouth crushed hers, tongue seeking her out. She opened for him, surrendered to him, drank him in…

His shirt came off her shoulders, slipped off her arms, his fingers taking its place, trailing something equivalent to fireworks up and down her skin. He hummed in contentment against her lips. “I should wash. You’ve just showered and I’m getting you all dirty.”

She wasn’t sure if it was her, or her wolf, that growled at him. “Don’t you dare. I want you now, as you are; I want every piece of where you’ve been.”
Yikes … territorial, Lydia?
But it was the truth; she was trembling all over with the need to have him inside her, to experience all of who he was. Her need to bond with him in that all-consuming way, just as she had with Lawrence earlier, was staggering.

He replied with a rumble of appreciation that vibrated through his chest, against her own. “When do you have to leave for work?”

Oh, fuck. Work! Shit!

She keened in disappointment. “Fifteen minutes.”

He pulled away.

“No no no…” She grabbed him, trying to bring him back.

He laughed. “Honey, I don’t want a quickie. Last time, I fucked you; this time, I want to explore every dip and valley that makes up who you are. I want to take my time. I want to taste all of you.”

Great. And so romantic and amazingly hot, but she didn’t know if she could even function at work in the state she was in right now.

As if reading her mind, he leaned into her again, pupils dark, irises glowing like a forest caught in the last rays of sun before dusk… “Do you want me to make you come?”

“Is that a trick question?”

He laughed again, and hell if a happy Taylor wasn’t one of the sexiest things she’d ever seen. “I think I could come just listening to you laugh.”

“Maybe next time.” He lifted her by her knees and they both fell back on the bed on top of his folded clothes. “But right now, I need more.”

Her skirt was hauled up; her tights and knickers came off.

“Taylor, just put yourself inside me, please.”

He nipped at her thigh.

“Ouch!”

“I told you, no quickies. Now behave, or I won’t give you what you want.” His eyes twinkled.

Oh … his wolf was a playful one. Who’d have thought…

He tongued her once, twice; nibbled at her clit…

“Mmm … I can’t…” She squeezed her eyes shut.

He slid up her body and kissed her again, allowing her to taste her own need on him. “Your flavour sent me wild the first time I did that to you. It still does.”

Oh, Christ, she was close to orgasm.

“Lydia.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

“Last time, from human to human: do you want me to wash?”

She shook her head. “From wolf to wolf: I want you as you are – always.”

His lips found hers once more in soft, sensual strokes. And then he drove his fingers inside her.

“Oh, good god!” This wasn’t going to take long. “I still want you inside me. How can you hold back? How can you stand it?”

He picked up his pace, bringing her closer to oblivion. “I want you so badly, I’m close to weeping. But I want you
completely
more than I want you badly. No rushing. I couldn’t give you that last time. This time, I want to feel your surrender as you fall apart around me…”