Crushing Desire (25 page)

Her wedding was a few days away, so she would only have to fret until then. She did not want to worry Joshua with the information about the captain’s frequent visits, instead she told him that it was her idea that he stay in the hold to ensure he healed properly. Reena pulled her thumbnail from between her lips and gave Joshua an encouraging smile.

“I’m trying,” he said.

Joshua was doing his best to give Reena a good performance. His legs shook with each step. It always took all his might to totter around the room, but he’d improved enough to walk with no more than a cane assisting him. He wanted to surprise Reena on their wedding day, so he worked on his strength every day.

“I’m getting tired.” He held securely to Gunner, who steered him toward the cot.

He hated to deceive her, but he wanted to see the expression of pride on her face when she came out and saw him standing there, unaided. Joshua would have jumped with joy, had he been able to, when Reena told him that Gregory intended to allow them to marry. He’d been uncertain of the captain’s motives until a few days after the storm when Gunner had told him what had really happened to bring on the captain’s change of heart.

“Wait, I think I can make it.” Joshua increased his pace.

Joshua had been surprised by the turn of events, at first. When he’d thought about it, he realized Gregory wouldn’t risk a mutiny in the middle of the ocean for one night with an unwilling woman and for the opportunity to use that night as a weapon to hurt him. Reena and he would be wed soon enough, and she would be safely home.

“Good job!” Reena clapped as he sat on the cot again. “You made it all the way.”

Joshua smirked, seeing her huge grin and the wrinkles in her nose. “Isn’t it time to check on your other patient?”

Reena gasped. “Oh, the time got away from me. He’ll be needing a dressing change and some poultice.” She ran out not even saying goodbye.

“She takes her healing duties very seriously,” Joshua chuckled as he faced Gunner. “I love that about her.”

Reena was good at healing, and when it was time to be serious, she appeared to go into some sort of trance. He would never have to worry for the health of their children, not even if their son had his adventurous nature and her mischievous, inquisitive spirit.

“Sure and that’s how the crew feels about the lass. Me Da always said: ‘A good healer is a cherished blessing.’” Gunner handed him his cane, and Joshua stood.

“I’m so very grateful for what the crew did for Reena and me. When you told me that Talbert had wanted to claim Reena as his woman after the storm ceased… If the crew hadn’t stood against him…” He shook his head, eyes downcast. “Not telling her about what the captain had planned was the right thing to do. I don’t like the idea of keeping things from her. But I couldn’t bear adding to her fear with me being stuck down here. Christ. She would have been helpless, Gunner. If Talbert had succeeded. She’s strong, I know, but I have to protect her somehow.”

“Well the men would ne’er stand by and let ye or the lass be harmed. Not after what ye did fer us. The threat of mutiny had been a natural one, and if he’s a smart man, he won’t think o’ botherin’ the wee girl again.” Gunner’s soft lilt intensified, and he squared his shoulders as he spoke.

A welling in Joshua’s chest heralded fresh joy at the knowledge that Reena was safe for now. After she saved Fish, Gregory had decided that in light of the crew’s threat, he would do the noble thing. If such a word could be applied to such a man.

“Ye should stand now. I owe ye me life, so least I can do is be sure yer legs are workin’ come the day o’ yer nuptials.”

Gunner had been his shadow since the night of the storm. He’d been given permission to help Joshua in his recovery, and he spent nearly all day with him. For a week after the storm, Gunner had even spent evenings outside of Reena’s room to ensure that no one tried to enter it.

“You don’t need to spend so much time here. I know you’re needed on deck,” Joshua said, for the fourth time since he was injured.

“I’ll be stayin’ with ye. I’m yer man now,” Gunner replied yet again.

Joshua stood, clapping the hulking man on the shoulder. They had been through something that would bind them forever in Gunner’s eyes, and that was fine with Joshua.

“Ye’ll be married soon.” Gunner followed Joshua toward the corner of the hold.

“Thank God.”

Joshua hadn’t been alone with Reena since they’d been separated by Captain Cromwell. He’d had a few conversations with her, but they were all short and mostly superficial. He missed her. He wanted to talk to her, to laugh with her, to touch her. Joshua turned and headed toward the next corner. His legs ached, but they didn’t shake, or fold, as they had in the past. He would be walking as much as he wanted to very soon. Perhaps doing much more.

“Yer nearly well. When yer wed, ye’ll be standin’ strong. Sure as the sun will rise,”

“I think so.” Joshua nodded.

“Ye look fine holdin’ me Da’s cane. I must see that ye keep it,” Gunner said over his shoulder while they walked.

Ignoring the burning fire in his legs, Joshua stopped, turning to face Gunner.

“I couldn’t do that. When I get to shore, I’ll buy a new one.”

Gunner gaped at him for a moment as though he’d punched him in the gut.

“Ye saved me life, so ye can’t refuse me gift.”

Joshua studied the man whose soft lilt and even softer eyes didn’t seem to fit his body.

“Me Da was injured in a storm when I was a lad. He used it t’ heal, and me Ma said he healed so fast there must be fairy dust on the wood.” Gunner grinned, his eyes focused on the past. “When I left me home t’ become a man, me Da said it would keep me until another needed it more. Now I’ll be passin’ it on t’ ye.”

“All right. I’ll accept it,” Joshua said. “Thank you.”

The man never ceased to surprise him. When Joshua had first laid eyes on him, he had thought Gunner to be a ruthless and cold-blooded cutthroat, but over the last weeks, he had found that the man was nothing like Joshua expected. Never once had Joshua seen Gunner ogle Reena, not even before the storm. Joshua wondered how a man that appeared so rough in such tough surroundings had stayed so soft.

Wheeling around, he made his way around the room and toward the cot once again.

9

Reena swept through the doorway of Fish’s new quarters, fresh bandages in her hands. The room was about half the size of the captain’s quarters and no more than the small bed and a trunk fit into it. Neither table, nor any other luxuries sat in the diminutive room. However, she was sure that this was better than whatever quarters the other sailors shared.

“How do you feel?” she asked, on her way to where he lay on his bunk.

Reena had learned that bravery was the most important thing to these sailors, and their loyalty wouldn’t waver from the person they respected most. Fish had earned the title, not because his father was captain, but because he’d saved many lives to the detriment of his own. He’d been injured, but the men respected him for his bravery.

“Like I was stabbed in the back.” He coughed a little. “But I’ll live, thanks to my lovely doctor.”

A giggle bubbled from her. Fish was so different from his father. She sensed no anger from him, and he could be quite funny at times. If life left this boy to grow as he was, he would be a great man one day.

“Oh, I see someone is feeling much better.”

His boyish smile lit the room, and he nodded. He sat forward for her to examine his wound, wincing slightly when she probed a tender spot.

“So doc, when do I get out of this room?”

“I think it might be all right for you to go to dinner tonight, if you are careful. As for the rigging, it will have to fix itself for a while longer. At least another week,” she said.

She opened the wound to release the remains of the infection and changed the bandage. His wound was virtually dry and would soon need air to complete the healing process. In point of fact, she could have stopped wrapping it days ago, but she didn’t want to stop her visits with the boy. Since the captain had come to her, she had been afraid to spend much time alone in her room for fear that the worst would happen. That he would lose temper or patience with her as the captain’s ticking jaw often suggested, and his revenge would become inevitable.

“Another week in this bed?” Fish sighed, sitting back.

The week would give her more time away from Joshua also. Time he could use to heal. When she was alone with him, they both wanted to do things that wouldn’t aid him in healing. She certainly couldn’t spend the week on deck. There were still men for her to fear lurking in the shadows on deck. Reading and long conversations while playing chess with Fish was far preferable to any alternative.

“Why so quiet?”

Reena realized that she had been silent for quite a while.

“I was thinking about our next chess match. Have you devised a way to beat me yet?” she said with a wide smile.

“Not yet.” His grin was as broad, but his smile soon faded. “Now, tell me what it is.”

Fish scrutinized her, seemed to be searching for the truth in the depths of her eyes. How could she tell this boy, who loved and idolized his father, that she was terrified of the man he so revered?

“I miss my family.” She shrugged.

His eyebrows came together, and after a long pause, he glanced away.

“I can understand that,” he said softly. “Well then, let’s not keep the kings waiting.”

Chapter Twenty-five

Reena sat in her cabin, waiting for the inevitable visit from Gregory since he always brought their dinner. She’d grabbed another book from the trunk and flipped through it, trying to decide what to read when the door opened. Gregory had dispensed with knocking long ago and just entered her room when he thought he must. Reena had even taken to bathing in a dressing gown at all times.

Gregory carried the large platter of turtle meat to the table. The set of his jaw made her take an instinctive step back.

“You look lovely,” Gregory said, eyes dull.

Reena peeked down at the long, serviceable brown dress she wore. There was nothing lovely about it.

“Good evening, Captain,” she said.

His eyes narrowed, but his mouth still turned up at the edges. “I asked you to call me Gregory.”

There was a hard edge to his tone, and Reena gripped the book she held, her knuckles turning white.

“I know, but you are a man with a grand title, and one that should be used.” She swallowed hard behind her polite smile.

He practically threw the platter on the table, and Reena jumped in her chair.

“Damn you, woman!” He towered over her, and all at once, she pined for the short, petite men that she’d always lamented.

Leaning down, he put a hand on either side of her chair, trapping her into its small space.

“I hold your life, and I free you. I hold your man’s life, and I free him too. I let you use my valuable medicines to heal him and even agree to marry you, and this is how you repay me.”

She leaned back from the rage he projected, every breath a frightened gasp.

“Do you want me to kill him? Toss him overboard and give you to my men? Is that why you are being so difficult?”

“I…I…” She tried to speak in spite of the constriction in her chest. Her eyes filled with tears. Never had she been faced with such anger. She honestly thought he might do what he suggested, or worse.

“I ask you for a little appreciation, and you can’t even give me that.” He shook with fury, and Reena trembled as well, though for a different reason entirely.

“I’m sorry, Gre…Gregory,” she stammered, and immediately knew she’d made a mistake. She’d shown her weakness, and he was going to use it.

A wolfish grin spread across his face, and his demeanor instantly calmed. He knelt in front of her, leaving his hands on the chair to pin her in.

“That’s right,” he cooed. “You just have to give a little, and we can be friends. You want that right?”

“Well, yes…I suppose. But…,” she said, still leaning back in the chair.

“Yes, that’s good. I want that too. You’re going to be so happy in a few days. You want that too, don’t you?”

Reena wasn’t sure she knew what he was coming to, and was even less certain she wanted to know. She had to remain calm. Reena nodded, heart pounding like a rabbit trapped by a fox.

“Good.”

He grabbed a piece of the greasy turtle meat and handed it to her. She took it, placed it to her lips, and nibbled at the edge while her stomach knotted.

“You owe me. You know that, right?” he asked as he stuffed a piece of meat between his lips. “After all, this has all been your fault.” He reached over, grasped a cup, and drank.

Reena feared to ask how this was her fault, and what was he insinuating that she owed? She didn’t have long to wait for the answer.

“You see, if you hadn’t come along, we would have turned back after a few delays.” He stood then moved and sat the cup on the table, his tone intensifying. “We would have gone to port and never would have made that shipment.” Gregory turned and faced her, his eyes dark. “I would have had my ship, with my son as mate, and John would still be alive and in charge of the Princess.” He stepped back, his voice a growling snarl.

Reena stood now, fearing the angry lines that were forming on his face and the conclusions that had taken shape in his head.

“Even with you along, it could have worked. If you weren’t so stubborn.”

He advanced on her. Reena looked around for some sort of weapon. She held up the copy of Devine Comedy she’d been reading as though it were a sword.

“You needn’t have even been unfaithful to that pathetic lump in the hold. If you’d only let me in to talk, I could have placed the bolts and had you at his side in a moment. Then it would have been easy to prove that he’d been the saboteur and not I.”

Stepping around the chair, she backed further from him, a ferocious grip on the book.

“No, you couldn’t let me in when I asked you. You wouldn’t even let me in to seduce you. I have never had to force my way into any woman’s bedchamber and yet you, a whore, made me force my way in!” Gregory’s muscles rippled and bunched in his attempt to restrain his rage.

The wall of the small cabin pressed against her back, and she threw the book at his advancing form. The corner of the book struck his forehead, and he bellowed in fury, closing the two steps between them in a second. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her so hard that she thought surely her neck would break. Reena almost didn’t hear the slight knock at the door, so loud was the blood pumping in her ears.

The room spun, and the door opened.

“Reena…”

Her gaze darted to the sound of the concerned familiar voice. Fish stood in the doorway.

“What…?” Fish stepped in the room, slamming the door behind him. His father abruptly stopped shaking her. “What are you doing?”

“Leave,” the captain ordered, nostrils flaring.

“What are you doing? You know what the men said.”

Reena’s mind reeled. She tried to focus on what he was saying, and at the same time, get her breathing under control.

“Leave. Everything is fine.”

“It doesn’t seem fine. It seems like you were about to throttle her.” Fish stepped up to them, placing a hand on Gregory’s shoulder.

Her pulse and breathing slowed to a more normal pace as she struggled to comprehend what had just happened. The room spun to a halt. Had she caused this? Had her refusal to use his given name motivated his actions? Pain throbbed through her head, but she didn’t dare let his arms go for fear he would shake her again.

“Father, you have to let go of this foolish vengeance. She isn’t worth a mutiny. Besides, she saved my life. Does that count for nothing? This has gone on long enough. They have suffered enough already.”

Reena looked at the young man. He was well healed, but seemed to have grown so much older in such a short time.

“She couldn’t just keep her mouth shut. I spent the last days of John’s life confined to my room. My crew took the side of a woman over their own Captain, and in the first day of my captaincy. Then the fool woman can’t even be civil when I come to dine with her. How can they suffer enough for all that?”

Reena thought she heard a low whine in his voice and almost laughed in her haze. The men’s roles of father and son had reversed.

“She saved my life and the lives of many of the crew, so did he. They’ve been separated from each other, wounded, and afraid. For two people that love the way they do, that is enough of a punishment.

The tension in the hands which held her lessened, and Reena fought the need to clutch at them to keep her unsteady legs standing.

“Father, stop.” Fish put a hand on his father’s slumping shoulder as he released her. “She will be married in days and gone in less than a week. Is she really worth losing your ship over? You just became captain.”

Reena leaned against the wall, clutching at its surface with her spread fingers.

“If the men mutiny, you won’t have anything to show for all the hard work you’ve done and neither will I. Is one woman worth all that? Or a little revenge? Is that worth us both being set on an island to starve, or worse? You know the crew would have to leave me if they intend to leave you. Is your revenge worth our lives?”

She didn’t dare speak. Fish seemed to be calming the beast with his soft, incessant explanation.

“She loves Joshua, Father, the way you loved Mother. Is this how you would want mother to see you? Trying desperately to kill a woman. Do you think she would be proud of you?”

Reena closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting.

“She’s not to leave this damned cabin until she weds,” the captain snarled.

“She won’t, you have my word.” Fish lifted both hands, palms out.

Reena heard the door close and opened her eyes, breath whooshing out in one loud cry.

Fish came to her side as her legs wobbled beneath her. Helping her to the chair, he said, “That was why you were so troubled, isn’t it? You were worried about my father’s revenge.”

She nodded, eyes not meeting his.

“You’re safe now. He won’t be back.” Fish knelt at her side.

Reena wished she could believe that, but she wasn’t sure.

“He’s really not such a bad man, you know.” Fish gazed toward the closed door.

Dark circles of fatigue surrounded his eyes, and he’d grown pale. Fish had fought into exhaustion to save her. Or more likely to save his father from his own machinations.

“Sit, before you fall over,” she ordered shakily.

Fish slumped toward the chair across from her and nearly fell into it.

“When mother was alive, he never did any harm to women. Though he was always too vengeful, he was honorable in his reprisal.”

Elbow resting on the table, his hand slid over his face, coming to rest on his forehead.

“Of course, he has his pride, but what man doesn’t?” Fish eyed her around his hand. “She changed him, calmed him. We both did.” His palm dropped away from his forehead, thumping loudly on the table. “When I was a boy, he would bring me some fantastic bit from each port he visited. Then he would ride me on his shoulders until I was sure he would tire, but he never did.”

Reena reached out, covering his hand with hers.

“When I was barely a man, my mother became ill. She died of the pox before father could return from sailing. He hasn’t been the same since. I see little glimpses of the man I knew, but for the most part, he’s gone.” He shook his head. “In his place, sits a man whose pride won’t allow him to release any slight, a man whose anger is so great that it wins out above all else, even common sense.”

“I think he is in there—somewhere—and I think that if you continue to be with him and influence him, he will be that man again.” Reena imagined Gregory sitting by his son’s bed, watching over him and using his own fancy shirt to cool the young man’s head.

“Forgive him,” he said, suddenly grasping her hand. “Don’t tell Joshua or the crew. Let it be. He truly is a good man, down deep.”

Fish’s wide eyes were so hopeful that Reena couldn’t bring herself to disappoint him.

“I’ll keep it to myself,” she said.

“So tell me, why do they call you Fish? Do you swim well?” she asked, in a desperate attempt for a new subject to discuss. The encounter had been frightening and uncomfortable, and she didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

Fish righted the tray and pulled a gobbet of turtle meat from it.

“Like a fish.” He smiled and winked.

“What is your real name?”

“I won’t tell,” he said, handing her a chunk of the greasy meat.

“Why? Is it such a terrible name?”

“I still won’t tell.” He shook his head, grin in place.

She blew out the last of her unsteady, nervous breaths.

“All right,” she said, before reaching over and grabbing the book off the floor. “Well, I chose another book for us. Do you wish to start, or shall I?”

9

When Reena missed her daily visit to Joshua that evening, she found Gunner at her door. He seemed a bit out of breath as his eyes swept her cabin.

“Joshua was worried when ye didna come to sit with him. Are ye all right, lass?”

Reena surveyed Gunner, wondering how much to tell him. He was loyal to Joshua, so she knew that he would do what he thought was best for him. But would he agree with what Reena thought was right for him? The less Joshua knew about this while aboard ship, the safer he was by her mind. Reena turned, motioning for Gunner to sit. He closed the door and moved silently across the room. She tilted her head as she watched him walk. He was so graceful. It was too feminine a word, but Reena could think of no other for the fluid way he moved. It was just graceful. A man of his bulk should have lumbered around clumsily, knocking things about as he went. At least that’s what she had always imagined when she read the sort.