Crushing Beauty (Harbingers of Sorrow MC): Vegas Titans Series (16 page)

Britton sat at her desk, watching the rain make its way down
the window. The minutes seemed longer over the last thirty days. Time had
become her enemy, and she hated it. She wanted to get through this phase in her
life as quickly as possible. Britton wanted the pain to be over. She was
working on a new case now, but couldn’t find the inspiration anymore.

She skimmed through the file, staring at pictures. It wasn’t
interesting to her. She looked around at the other agents in the office. They
were all hard at work. She opened her desk drawer and pulled out another file. She
flipped open the cover. There was Jagger's face staring back at her. She
smiled, longing to be the reason for his dimples. She shoved the file in her
bag and straightened up her desk. She wasn’t getting any work done; she might
as well just work from home for the rest of the day.

She made her way to David’s office to tell him she was
heading out. He was sitting at his desk, lost in paperwork. Things had been
awkward between them since the kiss. She didn’t know what to say to him, and
she knew he was hurt that his feelings weren’t reciprocated. She couldn’t even
apologize. She was still absolutely in love with Jagger. No one else mattered. She
knocked on the open door.

“I’m heading out.”

“Before you do, Britton, can you come in here for a second?”

“Sure.”

“Shut the door.”

What did he need to talk to her about? Did something happen
with the Jagger case? Was he arrested? Was he okay? Her mind raced, fearing the
worst.

“Is everything okay?”

“How are you doing?” David asked.

“I’m fine, why?”

“You’ve been distant and unfocused lately.”

“I’m just upset that I wasn’t able to bring down the
Harbingers.” She lied.

“I know, but you got us closer than anyone had.”

“I know.”

“And we have a dirty DEA agent in custody thanks to you.”

“Yes.”

It was true. They were able to charge Hank for conspiring
with a known crime syndicate. Although, it didn’t make her feel any better.

“That’s not why I called you in here.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I think you need a change of scenery.”

“What?” What did he mean by that? Was he transferring her to
another department? She liked the organized crime division. What was next:
counter terrorism? White Collar Crimes?

“I know the outcome of your last case hit you pretty hard. I
think it’s a good idea for you to get away from here for a bit.”

“David, I’m fine.” She wasn’t, but she didn’t want to leave
Las Vegas. She didn’t want to leave Jagger again.

“You can’t win them all, kid. They want you in Washington: a
week from tomorrow.”

“For how long?”

“Indefinitely.”

She wanted to argue. She wanted to fight with him, promise
that she could be better, but it was worthless. She couldn’t be better. She
thought of nothing but Jagger since the operation abruptly ended, and she
didn’t want to think of anything else. Maybe he was right. It wasn’t like
Jagger would ever take her back after what she did to him. She abused his
trust. There was no getting that back.

“Okay.”

“You can take the rest of the week to get your affairs in
order. I’ll let you know if we need you for anything.”

“Thank you, David.”

She turned to leave, feeling deflated.

“Britton.” He called after her.

“Yes?”

He paused, taking in the lines of her face and the curves of
her body. He knew it would be one of the last times he would see her. He wanted
to commit her beauty to memory. “I will miss you. You’re a good agent.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Britton didn’t stop at her desk but instead moved straight
to the elevators. She would come back to say goodbye before she left. Now she
just wanted to get home.

She crawled into her car, feeling her throat constrict. She
was going to leave the city again, for good. This was it. Her dreams of running
back into Jagger’s arms would never come to fruition. Any hope of ever being
with the love of her life had vanished in an instant.

She took off toward her house, lost in thought. No. It
couldn’t end like this. She needed to take matters into her own hands. She
needed to get him back. She spun her wheel, steering her car into the opposite
direction. She followed her memory of the route back to the warehouse. Maybe he
would be there.

The ride was long, and each second seemed to drag
agonizingly by. She pulled into the dirt driveway but there were no guards to
greet her. She continued down the trail, her tires kicking up the dirt behind
her. Britton quickly slammed on the brakes as she pulled up to the compound,
put the car in park, and jumped out of her seat. She ran into the building,
hoping to be met by a loving face.

There was no one there, the place was completely vacant,
empty. They must have moved. She ran into the office, hoping to find a possible
clue to their new location, but the only thing left in the room was a picture
frame on the floor. The glass was cracked and it was covered in dust. Britton
knelt down and picked it up. It was the picture from the nightstand in the
cabin. Had Jagger really made the effort to steal the picture from their home,
and bring it here, only to destroy it? Had he truly given up on them?

Britton felt a tear fall on her cheek. Maybe the move was
coming at a perfect time. He didn’t want to see her, after all. He had held
onto this picture for ten years, and now wanted nothing to do with it. She
opened up the back of the frame and drew the photograph out, allowing bits of
glass to fall to the ground. The glass gave off a high-pitched tone as it
clattered on the concrete. She clutched the picture to her chest and listened
to the chorus around her.

She remembered the sound of Matty’s laughter as Jagger flew
him around the yard. She remembered the comforting words of the family when she
was worried for Jagger’s safety. She remembered the embrace of her brother, the
brother she assumed she’d lost forever. Maybe now she had.

She folded the picture and slid it into her pocket. It was
time to go back to her house. She needed to pack. A new adventure awaited her. She
would force herself to forget this place again.

Her car sprang to life and she was instantly reminded of the
night of the accident. Now that she knew everything, all of the secrets, that
night didn’t haunt her anymore. Now her betrayal was what haunted her dreams. Britton
would have to live with that for the rest of her life. She drove on in silence.

Britton pulled into her driveway and eyed her house. In a
week, it would no longer be hers. She would be back to an apartment in D.C. Good
thing she hadn’t put down any roots: at least any roots that she was able to
hang on to. She stepped up to her door and fished her keys out of her bag. Something
yellow caught the corner of her eye. There was a daffodil in the garden. She
hadn’t planted it. She didn’t remember it ever being there before. It must have
grown and bloomed overnight. Unless…

She flew through the doorway and into her living room. Her
heart stopped at the sight of his face.

“I had a dream about you this morning.” He said.

Jagger was comforted by her reaction as she first took in
the sight of him. She couldn’t fake her relief, her happiness. In that moment,
it was all he needed from her. His demeanor remained uncertain; Britton didn’t
know how to read him. Why was he there? Did he want to see her as much as she
wanted to see him?

“A dream?” She asked.

“Actually more of a memory. You were curled up in the
fireplace. You were covered in casts from the accident.”

“How...” She thought she was alone in those woods.

“I was hoping you’d be there. I came to ask you to run away
with me.”

“But you didn’t.”

“After seeing what I had already done to you, already put
you through, I knew you wouldn’t be safe with me.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make. I thought you had run out
on me.”

“And look where it got you. You’re a successful, beautiful
woman and you did it all because I wasn’t holding you back.”

“I failed at my first undercover assignment.”

It hurt him to hear that. He was her assignment. Fate hadn’t
brought them back together, the United States Government and the FBI had. He
wanted to lighten the conversation, for both of their sakes.

“I don’t think you failed. You totally could've had me.” He
winked at her.

Britton began to laugh. It was the first time she laughed
since she left him at the warehouse.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She repeated herself over and
over again.

Jagger was hoping to play it cool, but as soon as he saw her
face, his body warmed and he wanted nothing more than to hold her as close as
he could.

“I needed to see you.” He said, stepping toward her.

“I did too.”

They stared at each other, neither knowing which should make
the first move, or even what the first move should be. They knew they needed to
talk. She needed to explain herself, and he was willing to listen. He needed to
know that she truly loved him and it wasn’t all a lie. He couldn’t spend the
rest of his life thinking it was a lie. It was eating him up inside.

Their faces were close and the heat between them was
intoxicating. Jagger’s eyes rolled back as he was reminded of her scent. He
wanted to breath her in. She was too much for him to handle. How had he been
able to last an entire month without seeking her out? No matter how hurt he
was, his body craved hers.

“I have so much to tell you.” Britton started.

“Are you still going to arrest me?” He leaned in closer to
her.

“No.”

“Good.”

He hurled his arms around her and crushed her against his
body, devouring her lips. He had missed her mouth, her lips, her scent. He
grabbed her lip gently between his teeth, yearning to be closer to her. He
lifted her off the ground, and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him,
pushing her pelvis into his. He was ready for her, and she was unable to ignore
his throbbing member practically bursting through his jeans. She shot her hand
down his stomach, caressing the rock-hard waves of his abs.

She teased the top of his jeans, tickling his skin just under
the rim of denim. Her thumb grazed his button and he moaned. Britton dove south
over top of his jeans, grabbing him fully in her hand. She squeezed, ever so
gently, triggering him to beg for more. She wanted to give him more. She wanted
to give him everything.

Jagger pulled away, knowing that if he let it go any
further, he could be caught in another trap. He lowered her to the couch and
sat next to her, it took everything he had to restrain his desire to take her in
that moment.

“How am I supposed to trust you?” He looked her directly in
her eyes.

“I never told them anything about you.”

He believed her. Otherwise, he would have been in jail. He
inched closer to her. “Then why do it to begin with?”

“I wanted to…” she had to catch her breath. She couldn’t
focus while listening to her own blood pumping in her ears. “I told you I spent
ten years hating you.”

Jagger sat back, mulling over this idea. “So you wanted to
take me down?”

Britton could see that this conversation was not leading
down a path that would satisfy the craving that she had been suppressing for
too long.

“Jagger, I have no right to ask you this, but I need you to
trust me. I was not planning on turning you in. I was also not planning on
falling in love with you. I couldn’t control the latter.”

His smile softened his face. For some reason, hearing her
say that she loved him made his heart soar. He felt again as though he was
invincible.

Their eyes met and she couldn’t help herself. Her lips were
drawn to his and she grasped at his shirt. He put little effort into pulling
away, but managed to break away.

“We still need to talk. ” He said.

“I know, but shut up and kiss me.”

He was amused by her aggression. He liked this side of her. She
pushed him down onto the couch and crawled on top of him. She took her shirt and
bra in her hands and pulled them both over her head. Jagger marveled at the
sight of her beautiful breasts as they bounced out of her bra. His desire
didn't go unnoticed and only drove Britton more crazy; her body needed to be
connected to him again.

She crushed her lips to his and ran her fingers through his
hair, sending chills down his spine. While letting her take control was exhilarating,
he needed to take it back. He needed to take her in his own way. He slid his
hands up her skirt and grabbed her bare hips, lifting her up, and pushing her
to the floor. He fell on top of her, almost knocking the wind from her chest. Britton
caught her breath in enough time to be scooped up again and thrown against the
wall. The force caused a painting to fall off the wall, breaking its frame.

“Don't worry...it’s an ugly frame anyway.” She panted
through shallow breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t.

He continued to move her down the hallway, crashing into the
wall again on the way to the bedroom. They both couldn't get enough of each
other, each making up for their previous month of pure agony. He grabbed her
hair and pulled back, exposing the soft skin of her neck. He lowered his mouth
to its calling, playfully digging his teeth into her flesh. She smiled and screamed
with pleasure.

Reaching the bedroom, Jagger threw her onto the edge of the
bed and swiftly tore her skirt from her body. Britton sat up, reaching for his
pants. He pushed her back down and climbed over her. His tongue traced her lips
and made its entry. He caressed the inside of her mouth, reminding her of what
she had almost given up again.

Jagger wanted more. He didn’t want to give. Today he wanted
to take. He inched his body up, positioning his hips over her chest. He guided
her hands to his zipper, cuing her to pleasure him. She did as she was told,
slowly freeing him from his confines. She opened her mouth, begging to taste
him. With her soft hands she guided him into her warm mouth, her tongue
exploring his cock. She closed her lips around him as he pushed deeper into
her. She glided her tongue around him, taking her own pleasure in his moans. His
hips moved faster, begging for more. She dug her nails into his back and he
fell forward, taking the lead.

Jagger marveled at her body. It was not only the body of a
woman who was pleasuring him, it was the body of a woman who had betrayed him. Even
still, it was the body of a woman who he loved. He needed to remind her of that
love. He pulled out from her mouth and looked into her yearning eyes. He
remained focused on her while he kicked off his pants. He lowered his mouth to
hers, keeping his eyes locked with hers. He didn’t want to look away. He didn’t
want to forget this moment, no matter what was to come.

“Britton, I still love you, no matter what you have planned
for me.” His words were honest.

She wanted to promise that she had no plan other than to
find a way to be with him, but her words escaped her, as in that moment he
pushed himself inside her. They were one. They moved as one, and they never
broke their eye contact. If they never finished their conversation, it wouldn’t
have mattered, because the end result would have been the same. They knew they
loved each other. Nothing else could possibly matter in this moment. Their heightened
cries filled the room in unison as Britton met every thrust of Jagger’s hips;
neither wanting this to end, neither wanting to come.

Britton grabbed his hips, pulling him in deeper, harder. She
wanted to stay connected to him. She didn’t want him to leave her. She moved
him faster, keeping her pace with his. As he pushed deeper, she lost control of
her body. Her eyes rolled back and her mind screamed. And as their eye contact
broke, they both released together. Jagger collapsed on top of her as he
emptied himself into her, unwilling to separate. She tilted, begging him to
stay within.

Their moans silenced, and Jagger lifted himself off of
Britton, rolling to her side. They stared at the ceiling, willing the other to
speak first. Jagger found Britton’s hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. He
gave a light squeeze before he spoke.

“Did you expect me never to find out?”

Britton had no answer to the question. It was one she had
asked herself every day during her time undercover, and every day since it had
ended. She kept looking to the ceiling, hoping that an answer would come to
her.

“Deep down, I knew one day you would find out. I just refused
to believe the day would ever come.”

“So now what? Do we just live under the radar of your boss,
praying that one day you don’t have a sudden change of heart and confess
everything I’ve ever told you? I don’t know if I can live like that.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You say that now, Britton, but it was so easy for you to
lie to me then. What would be so different in the future?”

She turned to him, angered by his assumption. “It was never
easy to lie to you.”

He believed her but said nothing.

“Maybe this is it.” She put the words out into the universe,
only hoping that he would kill them instantly.

“Is that really what you want?” Jagger rolled to his side,
stunned by her comment.

“I’m being transferred to Washington.” She refused to take
her eyes off the ceiling.

“For how long?” Unable to hide the worry in his voice.

“Forever, Jagger. They don’t want me here anymore.”

“Why not?”

She fought her words. It was still difficult to reveal her
weaknesses. “Because I’ve been miserable.” The edges of her lips dropped and
she turned to him. “I’ve been so miserable without you.” She fought back the
tears, but her body wanted to break.

Jagger wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to
him. No matter how much it hurt him to see her like this, it was nice to know
he wasn’t alone in his misery. He didn’t need to convince himself that she
still loved him. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted no one but him.
He wouldn’t let her be taken out of his life again.

“Run away with me.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Let’s get out of here. We’ll finally rid
ourselves of this shit town and start our own life. Just you and me.”

Her instincts screamed ‘yes’, but it was a childish dream. “Jagger,
we can’t do that.”

“We can.”

“People will look for me. You remember whom I work for,
right? And the first person they’ll go after is you and then your club. They
will find us.”

Jagger settled back into his pillow, disappointed that his
dream wouldn’t become a reality. “Then I’ll come to Washington.”

“Jagger…”

“No. Britton, I am not letting you go again. What do I have
to do to prove that to you? I'm coming to Washington.”

Her heart raced with anticipation. “But what about your
family, your club?”

“They don’t need me. They have each other.”

“But you love them. I can’t ask you to leave.”

“Not as much as I love you. You, Britton Ramirez, you are my
family.”

She smiled; loving how those words sounded leaving his lips.
“Okay.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.”

He hugged her close and lay still, reveling in her touch.

“So how did this all happen?” Jagger knew the only way this
would work was if everything was on the table. He needed to know that she was on
his side.

Britton hugged him tighter, conscious that the following
conversation might hurt both of them. “I had to pick a topic for my thesis at
Quantico…”