CRUSH (21 page)

“Cami, wait up.”

“Go away.”

“It’s not true. I swear to you it’s not true.
She’s screwing around with you, and it’s working. Don’t let her do this.” I was
desperate for her to believe me.

She stopped, tears running down her face. I was
getting really tired of seeing her so sad all the time.

“Come on.” I grabbed her by the hand and pulled
her after me. She didn’t ask where we were going. We walked in silence to my
car, and she climbed in when I held the passenger door open.

I went around to the other side and joined her.

“We really need to discuss things. I know
everything has been messed up, and I know it’s my fault, but I can’t take
seeing you cry anymore. I want you to be happy. Talk to me please, and let’s
see if we can work this out somehow.” I stared while she played with the edge
of her notebook.

She finally looked up. “I want to believe you,
Hunter, I really do, but you keep so many secrets from me. I know there is
stuff going on you
don’t
want to talk about, and I’ve
tried to respect that, but when you combine it with doing drugs and partying I
have a hard time trusting you. I was under the impression you were trying to
get away from that type of thing. Apparently I was mistaken. Then this very
suggestive picture of you surfaces, showing you with someone else. She says she
was with you, and the picture seems to support her, but you say nothing
happened. It makes me realize—despite how I feel—I don’t really
know you. Other than making some nice memories of our own, and being extremely
attracted to each other physically, you’re practically a mystery.” She gave a
deep sigh as if this let a huge weight off her chest and laid her head against
the seat.

I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel
nervously, knowing I needed to tread carefully. I wanted to tell her
everything, but I couldn’t—both for her safety and mine. Things were so
royally messed up. I should’ve never gotten involved with her. I knew this, but
I couldn’t seem to make myself walk away.

“As far as Gabby goes, I can only tell you
nothing happened. Honestly, the play by play went something like this—I
was stoned and zoning out. I’d drifted off to sleep and was kind of dreaming or
thinking of you subconsciously, and I could even feel you next to me—your
hand sliding down my body. I jerked awake, and she was there. I shoved her away
and told her I was with you. She said she didn’t see you around anywhere, and
climbed on top of me, sliding my shirt up. I shoved her off hard enough she
fell on the floor. She was mad at me, said I hurt her. Derek called her over,
and she started making out with him. That’s when I left the party. I worried I
was too blitzed to drive so I pulled over at the theater. I considered going in
to watch a movie and let things get out of my system a little, but I was really
tired—and I was afraid to see the disappointment in your eyes—so I
fell asleep in the car. That’s it. You know everything. Please tell me you
forgive me and we can move past this. I never meant to hurt you.”

I waited, every nerve tense, wondering what she
would say.

“Are you going to do drugs again?” She wouldn’t
look at me.

“I’d love to tell you I’ll quit right now and
walk away, but it’s not that easy.” I was so frustrated. There was no way I
could make her understand why I used, or why they were so important to me.

“It
is
that easy. You just
do
it, Hunter,
and let those of us who care for you, help you through it.”

I closed my eyes, knowing she couldn’t possibly
understand what it meant to suffer through an addiction since she’d never been
there. But I also didn’t miss the hidden message in her words. “Do you care for
me, Cami?” I held my breath, turning to look at her. “Is that what you’re
saying?”

She sighed, holding my gaze. “Yes, and I want
to do more, but you won’t let me get close enough. All I can say is I care
about what I do know, despite our issues.”

I slipped my finger under her chin and leaned
over, kissing her softly on the lips. Instantly, the burn she created inside me
was back. I’d never experienced anything like it before in my life. I didn’t
care what I had to do to keep her—I had to find a way to have this girl.

“I want you,” I whispered against her mouth. “I
want everything I know about you now and all the possibilities of what I’ll
learn about you later. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. You mean more to
me than you could ever understand.”

She was crying again, and I continued to kiss
her softly, staring into her honey colored eyes, wiping away her tears with my
thumbs as I went along.

“This is happening really fast,” she said
quietly. “It scares me a little.”

I kissed her mouth lightly again. “I know. It
scares me too, but does happening fast make it any less real?”

“I guess not,” she replied in between kisses.

I couldn’t stop touching her. “Then the real
question is where do you want to go from here?”

My lips traveled over her cheek, continuing my
parade of endearments down to her neck.

“Hunter, stop. I can’t think rationally when
you’re all over me like this.” She tilted her head, giving me better access.

I smiled against her skin. “That’s the whole
point, isn’t it? Admit it. You’re enjoying this as much as I am.”

“We aren’t done talking, though. This is what
always happens.
We get distracted by all the physical stuff
,
and the things we really need to discuss get glossed over. While I love how you
make me feel, I kind of hate that this always happens.”

I stilled, my face nuzzled in the crook of her
neck. I breathed in heavily, letting the light scent of her perfume overwhelm
my senses for a moment. I really wished I could lose myself in this girl. I
wanted to make her mine in every sense of the word, but I knew it just wasn’t
possible right now. I slowly pulled away.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me about you. I want you to trust me with
whatever your secrets are, and let me help you through them. I want you to let me
know
all
of you.” A hopeful look
shone brightly in her eyes, and it was killing me—ripping me to shreds.

“Cami . . 
. ,
”
I stroked her beautiful mouth. “I’d love nothing more than to pour out my soul
to you and share what you’re asking, but I can’t right now. I still need some
time.”

Her expression fell, and it was like a knife
straight to my heart. I hated hurting her. I was so tempted to throw caution to
the wind and tell her, but even then I was still afraid I would lose her once
she heard what I had to say. Anything I did would betray her. I was caught in a
web of lies and deceit, and there was no easy way out of it.

She looked down and her lip trembled. “Okay
then. When you’re willing to trust me, I’ll be willing to give things a try.
You know where to find me.” She picked up her books and reached for the door
handle.

“Cami, don’t please,” I begged her.

“This is your choice, Hunter. You know what you
need to do to change things.” She got out of the car.

I slumped into my seat as I watched her walk
toward the school. My heart felt like it was being sent through a meat grinder.
Running my hands through my hair, I sighed heavily. I couldn’t blame her,
really. It was totally unfair of me to ask her to go blindly into a
relationship when she didn’t understand what she was getting into. I was being
selfish, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.

I hoped she didn’t think I was just going to
walk away from her because of her ultimatum, though. I couldn’t tell her
things, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave her alone with Clay
so he could move in for the kill. I didn’t think she realized yet exactly how
manipulative her precious bestie actually was, but I’d been watching him
closely and it hadn’t surprise me at all that he’d managed to worm his way back
into her good graces. I knew he still wanted her too—whenever we were
around each other, the tension between us was bad.

I dug my cell phone out of my pocket and speed
dialed Chris. He answered on the second ring.

“Are you okay?” his voice was full of concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Can you call the office and
excuse me for the rest of the day? I need a break.”

“Sure thing. I’ll tell them you aren’t feeling
well.”

“Perfect. Thanks, man.”

“No problem.”

I ended the call, tossed my phone in the cup
holder and headed for the condo.

Cami-

Clay and I were still huddled together on the
couch searching through costumes on my computer for the upcoming Masquerade
when the doorbell rang.

“I wonder who that is?” I said, glancing toward
the hallway.

“I’ll get it,” he replied, jumping up and
heading from the room. I listened for a second and could hear him talking to
someone.

“Who is it?” I called.

“No one,” he answered back.

“Apparently I’m no one now,” Hunter said with a
grumble as he entered the room, coming to sit on the other side of the couch.

Clay stood in the entryway frowning at Hunter.
“I didn’t invite him in, Cami.”

“No, he didn’t,”
Hunter
said, glaring. “But it didn’t stop me from getting in here anyway, did it?” He
glanced at me before picking up the remote and turning on the television.

I had no idea what was going on. “Did you need
something, Hunter?”

“No.” He waved a noncommittal hand in the
direction of Clay. “You two continue with whatever you were doing. I’ll just
watch something.”

“You don’t have a T.V. at your own house?” Clay
asked, coming to sit between us. He wasn’t happy at all.

“I have three actually,” Hunter replied.

“And you can’t watch them there
because . . .” Clay prompted.

“Because Cami isn’t there.”

Silence. Neither of us knew what to say, but I
couldn’t help the little thrill that went through me. I was surprised to see
him. I figured he would walk the other way after our talk today, but it looked
like that wasn’t going to be the case.

“Clay, what do you think about this one?” I
asked, trying to redirect his attention. He was looking at Hunter like he hoped
he would spontaneously combust.

He glanced at the screen. “King Triton and a
mermaid?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of cool.”

“Clay doesn’t have the abs to pull that off,”
Hunter spoke, peering over. “You on the other hand would look fabulous as a
mermaid.”

I could feel Clay’s temperature starting to
boil. “I suppose you think you’re the perfect one to pull off this costume?” he
accused.

Hunter snorted. “I wouldn’t be caught dead dressed
up like that, but yeah, my abs would work.” He was staring at me with a
smoldering look, and suddenly it felt hot. It should be wrong for anyone to
carry so much power in one expression.

I swallowed. “Okay, so no
mer
-people.
How about some traditional costumes? The fancy ball gown, tuxedo, and matching
masks?”

“Let’s look,” Clay said successfully redirected
again. “I like that idea.”

We combed through several images before coming
across a beautiful gold dress and mask, with an accompanying black tuxedo, gold
vest, tie with accents, and matching black mask.

“I love the mask on this costume, Clay. It
reminds me of the Phantom in
Point of No
Return
. It’s sexy.”

Hunter shifted uncomfortably.

“Then that’s the one. I know how much you love
that musical. I’m more than happy to be your Phantom-come-to-life for the
night. Maybe I’ll get you to sing for me too.”

I laughed nervously. Boy, he was laying it on
thick. “Sounds like fun.”

“Cami and I watched that movie the other night
on my bed,” Hunter piped up. “Well, I should say we tried to watch it. We kept
getting . . . distracted.”

Clay’s face colored a shade I’d never seen
before.

“Okay, then! Who wants a snack?” I snapped my
laptop shut and grabbed Clay’s hand, dragging him into the kitchen, hoping to
avoid an explosion.

“On his bed?” Clay retorted, frowning.

“Just drop it, okay? It’s none of your
business.”

“Has he tried anything with you?”

I leaned against the counter. “No, Clay. He
hasn’t done anything I haven’t wanted him to do.”

“Oh, that makes me feel a whole lot better,” he
said facetiously, rolling his eyes. “Did you have sex with him?”

“No, and it’s none of your business.”

“It is my business. You’re my best friend, and
I need to know if something is going on.” His fists were clenched tightly at
his side.

“You’re misunderstanding the role of best
friend, I think. You only need to know what I deem necessary to tell you. This
is not one of those things, so quit asking.” I was starting to get angry.