Cruel Love (2 page)

“No,” Ariana said. “I mean, we all know she’s been acting a little off lately, but …”

Lexa had been acting more than a little off. Ever since Ariana had murdered Kaitlynn Nottingham in front of Lexa, she hadn’t been herself. She’d gone completely OCD and was prone to sudden, unexpected freak-outs and breakdowns. For the past few nights, Ariana had been feeding the girl Valium to help her sleep, and it seemed to have been working, but that evening Jasper had said something about knowing Ariana and Lexa’s secret, and Lexa had assumed the worst—wrongly. Before Ariana could tell Lexa they were safe, Lexa came crashing through the glass ceiling.

“But if you knew something, you would have told someone, right?” Palmer demanded, his eyes intense. “You know you’re supposed to tell someone? You’re supposed to get the person help.”

Ariana stared up at him, trying to process his words—his patronizing tone. “Palmer … if I’d thought Lexa was going to kill herself, of course I would have done something.”

“I mean, you’re supposed to be her best friend, right? You’re supposed to know these things,” Palmer’s voice grew louder with each word. “Or maybe you guys weren’t as close as you were always claiming to be.”

Ariana’s face was on fire. All her friends turned to stare. “Palmer, please. Calm down. You’re just upset,” Ariana said.

“Of course I’m upset,” Palmer said, bringing his fist to his mouth. “Lexa’s in there clinging to life and you’re telling me there was nothing you could do to stop it.” “Palmer, that’s enough,” Jasper said, putting a hand on Palmer’s shoulder from behind. “This is not Ana’s fault.”

“Get off me, man,” Palmer said, swiping Jasper’s arm away and starting to pace like a rabid animal. “All I know is, Ana and Lexa have spent every minute of every hour

together for the past two weeks. How many times have you broken dates with me because you just had to hang out with your BFF?” he said sarcastically. “Well you

couldn’t have been such great friends if you’d let her go off and do something like this!” “Palmer, stop!” Maria gasped.

Suddenly, Palmer froze. He looked around at the gaping faces of his friends, as if realizing for the first time that they were there. en he looked at Ariana. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her chest heaved beneath her huge diamond necklace. Who the hell did he think he was? She was the one whose best friend was inches from death. He was supposed to be consoling her, not accusing her.

I should have broken up with you before the party
, she thought, clenching her teeth.
I should have done it days ago.

But she had been afraid. Afraid of losing her It-Girl status on the Atherton-Pryce Hall campus. So now, here she was, getting publicly berated on one of the worst nights of her life. One more nudge and she was going to lose it. She could feel it in her hot, trembling veins.

“Screw you, Palmer,” Ariana said through her teeth. His brow knit. “What?”

“We’re over,” she snapped.

Everyone stared at Palmer. Ariana could see all the hurt and pain and confusion whirling in his eyes and, for once, had absolutely no idea what he was going to do next.

Suddenly, he grabbed his overcoat off his chair and stood up straight.

“Fine,” he said. “If that’s what you really want, then fine. We’re broken up.”

He gave her a sidelong glance and Ariana was certain there was something else he wanted to say, but he thought the better of it, cleared his throat, and walked out of the emergency room.

Ariana looked at Jasper, her true love, and just like that, the tears spilled over. He moved toward her like he was going to take her in his arms, but Maria and Soomie got there first. Which was just as well. No one knew that she and Jasper had been seeing each other behind Palmer’s back, and now didn’t seem like the right time to get into
that
drama.

“He doesn’t really blame you,” Soomie said, holding Ariana’s hands as Maria brushed her hair back from her tear-stained face. “He’s just freaking out like the rest of us.” “Yeah, but he’s the only one who felt the need to go accusing Ana,” Maria said sarcastically. “Men are bastards,” she said under her breath.

Ariana rested her head on Maria’s shoulder.

“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” Soomie said, squeezing Ariana’s hands. “None of us saw this coming. None of us.” Ariana nodded. “I know,” she said, her voice thick.

But I should have. I should have seen what was happening
, she thought.
And now Lexa’s in there dying because of me.

She glanced over at the police officers who had taken Reed Brennan’s statement about whatever she had been blubbering about. She breathed in and out, trying to get the tears under control. Trying to make sense of everything that had happened. How was it possible that the one person in the world she would have liked to see dead had just walked out the door, and the one person in the world she would have liked to see live was practically dead in the next room?

Sometimes, life was just so unfair.

She must die … she must die … she must die …

Somewhere between the hospital and the front gates of the Atherton-Pryce Hall campus, the mantra started up again. Ariana stared out the window as headlights flashed by and tried as hard as she could to block it out. She sang songs in her mind, she recited all the states and their capitals, she tried to remember the first, middle, and last names of everyone in her class at Atherton-Pryce.

Nothing worked.

By the time the taxi she’d shared with Jasper, Tahira, and Rob pulled up in front of the looming towers of Privilege House, she was exhausted in body, mind, and soul. “I wonder if everyone already knows,” Tahira said, staring up at the windows as Rob paid the cab driver. “That is
not
a story I want to tell over and over again.”

“I say we just ignore everyone,” Rob said, squeezing her shoulder. “It’s what we usually do anyway.”

He and Tahira exchanged a weary smirk and together, they all exited the car. e night air was frigid and Ariana wrapped her arms around herself, wondering why she hadn’t thought to wear a wrap over her gray gown. Jasper automatically put his arm around her and Ariana flinched. Rob and Tahira were right there. But then she remembered: She’d broken up with Palmer. She and Jasper could do whatever they wanted now.

“I need coffee,” Tahira announced as they entered the lobby. Her shoulders were slumped, her usually perfectly applied makeup hadn’t been retouched all night, and her strapless black dress was in desperate need of a pulling-up. But her appearance, for once, was clearly the last thing on her mind. “You guys wanna go sit in the café?”

Jasper let Ariana go and they exchanged a glance. “No thanks. I’m pretty exhausted,” Ariana said. “I just want to go lie down and pretend this day never happened.” “Me as well,” Jasper said, rubbing his forehead. “I could sleep until next Tuesday.”

“Okay then.” Tahira pulled Ariana into a hug. “She’s going to be okay, you know.” “I hope so,” she said flatly.

“She will. She’s Lexa,” Tahira said with a confident smile. “She’s unstoppable.”

Ariana ventured to smile, but she couldn’t seem to make it happen. If the last couple of weeks had proved anything, it was that Lexa wasn’t as strong a person as she’d once thought.

“See you in the morning,” she said.

Rob lifted a hand to Jasper and Ariana as he put his other arm around Tahira. Together they headed for the café on the far side of the common room. Jasper slipped his hands into the pockets of his suit pants and half smiled.

“Shall we?”

He hit the up button on the elevator that served the girls’ tower of the dorm. It pinged and the doors slid open. Together, they stepped inside. As soon as the doors closed, Ariana was in Jasper’s arms. Neither of them said a word as the elevator zipped them to the top floor. Ariana simply breathed in his spicy, comforting scent.

The volume on the mantra dulled ever so slightly. Dulled to a slight thrum rather than a pounding beat.

She must die … she must die … she must die …

Upstairs, Jasper led Ariana back to her room. She paused for a moment at the threshold, looking around at the slight disarray left behind as she’d gotten ready for the fabulous formal Stone and Grave event they’d attended tonight. Tubes of mascara and lip gloss were still set up on her desk. e clutch purse she’d decided against sat at the foot of her bed, and a pair of black Christian Louboutins were upended near the closet. Ariana had agonized all day over which shoes to wear. Just thinking about it now— the awful shallowness of it all—made her want to throw the shoes out the window. Instead she kicked them into her closet, slammed the door, and went right for her dresser. She pulled an Atherton-Pryce Hall sweatshirt on over her head and unzipped her gown, letting it fall to the floor. en she shimmied into a pair of yoga pants and climbed into bed, her diamond necklace still sparkling around her neck. Jasper undressed down to his T-shirt and pants and climbed in next to her. He put his arms around her and Ariana rested her cheek on his chest. The mantra now was barely audible.

She must die … she must die … she must—

“I still can’t believe it,” Jasper whispered, stroking Ariana’s hair. “Lexa Greene. She is the definition of having it all. I guess it just proves that you never know what’s going on inside people’s minds.”

Ariana squeezed her eyes closed.
I knew
, she thought.
I knew how distraught she was. Palmer was right. I should have done something. I should have known …

“Can we talk about something else?” Ariana whispered. Her voice was a mere squeak. She hated how weak and scared she sounded.

“Yes. Of course. Sorry.” Jasper kissed the top of her head. Ariana pressed her ear closer to his chest, listening to the comfortably rhythmic sound of his heartbeat. For the first time in an hour, her brain was silent. “I do have a question for you, actually.”

She tilted her head back so she could see his face. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” He shifted slightly, crooking his free arm behind his head. “Earlier tonight … what did you think I was going to tell you? What was the secret you thought I’d found out?”

Ariana’s heart thumped so hard she was sure it was going to stop beating altogether. Suddenly terrifying images flashed through her brain. Images of her shoving Jasper against a shelf-lined wall in the potting shed. Of her holding a pair of rusty, dirty garden shears to his neck. Of the fear in his eyes as he begged her to stop.

How the hell was she supposed to explain that? Ariana pressed her lips together and racked her brain. e “secret” Jasper had found out was that Briana Leigh Covington, the girl Ariana was currently pretending to be, had hooked up with a female professor at her old school. What other secrets could Briana Leigh have had? Secrets that might merit such a drastic reaction?

As she looked around her room, her eyes fell on a framed photo of the ranch house where Briana Leigh had grown up. Ariana remembered the last time she was there, and her encounters with Briana Leigh’s rich, crotchety old grandmother. “I thought you’d found out that I bought my way into Atherton-Pryce,” Ariana said, thinking quickly. “Lexa is the only person who knows, so when you said the two of us had been very naughty … I figured you’d found out about the bribe and that she was keeping the secret for me.”

She paused and licked her lips. It was thin, she knew, but it was all she had.

“I didn’t want the other members of Stone and Grave to find out, especially not the alumni, because even though I might have gotten in through a back-door deal, I’ve worked so hard since I’ve been here,” she rambled. “I’d like to be judged on the basis of that, rather than the fact that my grandmother felt the need to grease the admissions board.”

Jasper said nothing. Ariana picked a speck of lint off his T-shirt and crushed it between her thumb and forefinger. He wasn’t buying it. She could feel it. “I just want everyone to believe I deserve to be here,” she said finally.

Because I do
, she added.
After everything I’ve been through, I so, so deserve to be here.

“Well, anyone can see that,” Jasper said.

Ariana looked up at him, feeling a thrill down her back. “Really?”

“Are you joking? You ace all your classes, you were the star of our pledge class, you were here about five seconds before you made friends with Lexa’s crowd.” Jasper pulled a face and scoffed. “You deserve to be here more than anyone I know.”

Ariana smiled and leaned in to kiss him. His hand went around the back of her neck and brought her in even closer. Ariana felt a stirring deep inside of her, but tamped it

down. This was not the time to be getting physical. Not with Lexa in the hospital. She broke off the kiss and bit her lip.

“You know I never would have really hurt you, right?” she lied. She had been about to hurt him. She had been about to slaughter him, in fact. Anything to keep her secrets. It would have killed her to do it, but a girl on the run had to do what a girl on the run had to do. “I was just messing around.”

“I know,” Jasper said, cupping her shoulder with a grin. “Besides, I like a girl who can take care of herself. Less work for me.” Ariana rolled her eyes, but laughed.

“Remember the other day when I invited you to Thanksgiving at my house?” Jasper asked. Ariana’s heart fluttered. “Yeah.”

“Well? The offer still stands and my parents would love to meet you,” he said. “Have you thought any more about it?”

With everything that had gone on over the past few days, Ariana had completely forgotten about the invite. But after the awful drama of the night, running off to Louisiana with Jasper and putting Atherton-Pryce behind her for a few days seemed like a dream.

“I have and I’m in,” Ariana replied. “I can’t wait to meet your family.” Jasper grinned. “I’ll book you a ticket in the morning.”

Ariana smiled and settled in again, cuddling into the crook between his arm and his chest as she imagined a big, picturesque family anksgiving—something she hadn’t experienced in years. She was more thankful for Jasper than for anything or anyone else in her life. If she had pulled a pair of garden shears on Palmer, he probably would have broken up with her in disgust and turned her in to the police for attempted assault, goody-goody that he was. Everything with him was black and white, but Jasper knew there were other shades to the world. As she inhaled the clean scent of his T-shirt it suddenly hit her full force that she could have lost him tonight. e horror of it crashed over her like a tidal wave, threatening to sweep her away and she found herself clinging to the front of his shirt.