Crossing the Lines (10 page)

Henry scooped her sideways into his lap, tucking her side to his chest. “On the nightstand for now, my boy.”

Wrapping his other arm around Jay’s back, he curled him into his shoulder. Bookends, she and Jay, their foreheads resting against Henry’s neck. Jay smiled and whispered “hey” beneath Henry’s chin.

“You are each unique.” Henry spoke in a low-toned whisper. “I treasure each of you for the pieces of yourself you bring to our time together. If, on occasion, those pieces fit into a larger picture that benefits us all, that helps us confront and overcome fears, I treasure them all the more for it. But none of the pieces is lesser. Never
less
. Never
instead of.
”

She shivered, and Henry cupped the back of her head. She wasn’t
just
anything to him. She was Alice
.
He’d never treat her callously, never mock her needs or use her exclusively to fulfill his own or Jay’s. Responsibility was Henry’s watchword.

Even on their first night together. She’d told him afterward she’d trusted him, and he’d been upset by the idea that he’d taken her without explaining the rules of the game. And then he’d spent three months
not
fucking her. Atoning for his lapse.

Before he finally did fuck her, he’d asked her if she believed he could control himself. Understanding burned. Henry would be horrified if he occupied the space in her head Cal held in Jay’s. Fuck.

“Henry?” His neck muffled her voice.

He scratched her scalp with gentle fingers. “Yes, Alice?”

“I know you’d never treat me like an object for your own gratification. And that you’re not using me to help Jay. I
know
those things. I just forgot for a minute. I’m sorry I made it sound like you would do that.”

Hand traveling down her spine, he tipped his cheek against the top of her head.

“My sweet, sweet Alice. Do not apologize for expressing your feelings. If they are happy, allow Jay and me to share in your joy. And if they are confusing or hurtful, bring them to me and permit me to help you. The trust between us underpins all we do here. I would rather you shout, and curse, and call me a monster a million times over than have you push
any
feelings down where they might fester. A fear confronted often enough with powerful opposition will fade until one wonders what made it so fearful in the first place.”

Curled together, they fell into silence. She’d try harder to talk to Henry about her feelings. To expose what went on in her head. But for tonight, exhaustion won the battle.

She slept easy, lying on Henry’s chest with an arm and a leg thrown across Jay beside him.

4

Alice huddled deeper into her blankets. The apartment had been cozy when she’d gone to bed. Chilly now, though. The clock called it ten after midnight. At least the apartment had power, which was more than she could say for some sections of the city.

The snow had started coming down Wednesday afternoon and hadn’t stopped yet. The forecast estimated something like three feet. A little much, even for mid-February in Boston. The storm battered the city like the winters of her childhood, the deep, sweeping drifts on the Dakota plains.

Comforter wrapped around her, she shuffled to the window. The cars in the alley had almost disappeared, rounded mounds of white glowing pale blue under the building’s security lighting.

The view was beautiful, and so silent—wait, silent? The heating system should be rattling and clanking and hissing. She laid a hand on the radiator cover. Cold. Pulling the cover forward, she touched the pipes. Also cold. Broken. Dammit.

She added baggy sweats and her fluffy bathrobe over the top of her pajamas before rewrapping the comforter around herself. Debating the merits of suffering through the night or calling Mr. Nagel to report the problem now, she jumped when the knocking started.

“Alice? You awake? Alice?”

“Hold on, Jay.” Awkward shuffling, hampered by her desire not to trip over the blanket, got her across the room. She unhooked the chain, flipped the dead bolt and opened the door.

Jay had on sweats, too, though his didn’t come with a bathrobe and blanket. He took one look at her and laughed. “Cold?”

“Maybe a little. You have a reason for banging on my door after midnight?”

“So many reasons.” He stepped forward, arms flung wide, and squeezed her in a tight bear hug. “But most important for you? Henry found out from Mr. Nagel the boiler’s blown and they can’t rig it to run. Roads are closed to all but emergency services, so we can’t leave and the replacement won’t be here tonight, which means
you
are coming home with
me
right now.”

“I am?” She warmed in Jay’s embrace.

“Yup. Henry says you’re coming to bed. No excuses. C’mon.” He started to lift her, and she swatted at him with blanket-covered hands.

“Henry didn’t say that. It’s not Friday.” He never tried to dictate what she did outside of those five hours. He was hyperconscious of that sort of thing. Rules. Maybe he didn’t want her thinking he’d try to control her without her permission.

“You think Henry doesn’t care about you if it’s not Friday?” Jay lifted her higher, ignoring her ungraceful squirming, until their eyes were level. “That’s bullshit.”

“No, I know we’re friends, Jay. But it’s not Friday. I don’t belong in his bed.”

Jay opened his mouth, closed it, looked away and shook his head. “You do tonight. Emergency circumstances.” The seriousness faded from his face, and he broke out his most charming smile. “Besides, you didn’t even let me get to the other reasons. I’ve got so many ideas for warming you up. Heat works fastest from the inside out, you know.”

He kissed her jaw and breathed on her ear. It was practically the only skin she had showing, and his beliefs about heat were clearly false. Neither point stopped her from turning her face into his neck and inhaling woodsy Jay-musk with the faintest hint of Henry’s leather and citrus. They must’ve been sleeping. Or enjoying other things.

“See? You like my ideas. Come to bed.” He took a step forward, into her apartment, and another, carrying her with him. “Or we could try out your bed. That would be new and exciting, right?”

Have sex with Jay? In her bed? Leave Henry across the hall waiting and wondering—or worse, knowing—what they were doing? “I don’t think Henry would like that. And I’m sure it’s not what he told you to do.”

“How about I show him what I have in mind and we let him be the judge?” He nudged her with his hips, not that the force penetrated the layers of pajamas and sweats and bathrobe and blanket. His wheedling tone made her laugh.

“Put me down and gimme a minute, loverboy.” She stuffed warm clothes and toiletries in a bag for the morning once he set her on her feet. “I swear you think about nothing but sex. How do you ride a bike with a 24-7 erection?”

He shrugged and flicked imaginary lint off his shoulder. “Skills, baby. I got ’em, you want ’em.”

“You are the most ridiculous man. C’mon.” She abandoned the comforter and gestured him toward the door. “You promised me warmth.”

She stopped outside to lock her door. Her pause gave all the encouragement he needed to crowd behind her and throw his arms around her.

“Hey, I deliver on my promises. Plenty of warmth. This is just the start of my warmth.” He shuffled her down the hallway, refusing to let her go despite their awkward gait. Standing ajar, the apartment door needed only her shove to open.

“Found her, Henry.” Jay pushed her into the apartment ahead of him, his arms still wrapping her in a bear hug from behind. “She’s freezing, though. I’ve got ideas for warming her up.”

“I’m certain your furnace-like heat would be ample enough to do so, Jay, but perhaps Alice is inclined to give you the opportunity to demonstrate your ideas.”

“Oh, I think she is. But she wanted to check with you first.”

“Did she now? How lovely.”

Had she pleased him with her desire to seek permission? If he saw it as a sign of her growing comfort in submitting to him, that seemed reasonable. What he wanted.

Henry kissed her cheek. “Welcome, my dear.”

Sex with anyone else, even Jay, felt inappropriate without Henry present. Not because of their contract, but because she didn’t fuck other people when she was in a relationship. Monogamy, even if he hadn’t asked it of her. Didn’t want it from her. Didn’t practice it himself?

No. He’d have said if he had someone else. The contract mandated disclosure.

He clasped her arms and rubbed her biceps. Jay encircled her waist as he pressed against her back.

Henry sported a proper pair of pajamas, a matching set in steel blue. The silky fabric rippled across his chest as he warmed her. She tried to push away the idea that he might not be satisfied with her. With her and Jay.

“It didn’t seem right.” What could be right about taking Henry’s lover to her bed and leaving him alone across the hall? She disliked feeling excluded. She wouldn’t impose it on Henry.

“You needn’t seek my permission to indulge on our nights apart, Alice. Our contract does not stipulate that you abstain, only that you not engage in potentially dangerous games without my supervision, that you inform me afterward of any encounters, and that you practice safe sex.”

“I know. But Jay is yours, and…”
I’m yours
, she dared not say. Even if she wanted to be, wanted the everyday intimacies Jay had, Henry hadn’t claimed her. She couldn’t be his if he wouldn’t acknowledge it. She was every-other-Friday Alice.

Henry cleared his throat. The sound pulled her gaze to his. Revealed the weight of his steady stare and the slight quirk in his brow. Desperate hope that her longing hadn’t been blatant on her face flashed through her.

“Come along to bed, my dear.” Whatever his thoughts, he kept them to himself. “We’ll all be warmer under the covers, I expect.”

“Thank God.” Jay, bouncing in place, prodded her back with one hand. “My toes are freezing. Somebody better have warm calves available or I might lose them to hypothermia.”

She dug in her feet with playful resistance. “You? With cold feet, furnace-boy? Impossible.”

“Careful, or I’ll prove it to you. You’re not afraid of the cold, are you? I could get some ice.”

She squeaked and dodged away from his hands creeping into her collar as he pretended to drop ice cubes down her back. He chased her down the hall and tackled her on Henry’s bed.

Henry followed at a more measured pace. Upside down to her eyes, as her head hung off the side of the bed and she squirmed under Jay’s weight, he filled the doorway. A commander inspecting his troops.

“No ice tonight, my dears,” Henry declared, closing the door and shutting in any warmth they might generate. “Another time, perhaps.” He shooed them out of their clothes and under the covers.

Jay hauled Alice over himself to drop her in the middle when Henry slid beneath the sheets. “You’re the littlest.”

“I’m not little.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“The least heat-efficient, if you prefer, Alice.” Henry’s calm broke their teasing squabble. “Lacking sufficient body mass to perform the function as Jay and I do.” He nuzzled the curve of her neck. “Don’t despair. You have myriad other charms. You must leave something for Jay and me to do well.”

“You and Jay do a lot of things
very
well.” She dropped her voice to a loud-and-proud whisper. “Don’t tell Jay. His ego’s already too big to fit in the bed.”

Jay pressed himself against her. His cock formed a fiery impression along her hip. “I’ve got something that’ll fit better and warm you up.”

She rolled on her side, leaving him at her back. Henry’s expression gave no hint of command.

“It’s your choice, my dear. You’re under no obligation, but neither are you under any restriction.” He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

Carte blanche, in Henry’s bed? The thought thrilled and terrified.

It excited Jay. She’d have sensed the eager anticipation in him even if his cock hadn’t jumped against the base of her spine. But she ignored him for the inscrutable lines on Henry’s face in the low light.

“No restrictions?” She doubted he meant she could go digging through the special dresser for toys. She wasn’t confident enough to try it anyway. She couldn’t do what Henry did. Not yet.

“Within your comfort level, Alice.” With his back to the window, where snow drifted downward in a moonlit dance, Henry was shadowed and difficult to read. “It’s not a challenge you must meet. I trust what you desire is not beyond your reach.”