Crossing Paths (26 page)

College took me an extra year because my dreams kept changing, but Julie never complained. She was always supportive of my dreams. Even when I had to request extra student loans, she just joked about how a few extra cupcakes could pay the bill. After I graduated and attained my dream job, we started to make plans for a family.

Then, things changed. Everything was destroyed. I never thought my feelings for Julie could be swayed. Of course, if our path hadn’t veered, I would still be in love with her, still longing for the life we planned together.

Some days, the guilt overwhelms me. As I’m lying in this dark hospital room, staring up at the ceiling tiles while listening to the beeping sounds from the medical equipment, I wonder what I will say to Julie.

My head is killing me, and my back is aching. I could really use some pain medication, but I don’t dare move a muscle because I don’t want to disturb my mother sleeping in the uncomfortable recliner next to my bed. She won’t leave my side, and the least I can do is let her get some sleep.

When I am able to leave this room, I have to go find Julie. I don’t know what I’ll say, but I have to tell her that I’ve met someone and that I want a new life.

Saturday

The pain in my head feels like a thousand little needles are pricking against the outer edge of my brain. I roll onto my side and reach for the drawer of my nightstand where I keep an extra bottle of Tylenol handy for mornings like this. Feeling constrained in my clothing, I realize that I’m still wearing my outfit from the night before.

Memories come flooding back.
Holy crap.
My brother could be dying. I feel my breath being stolen from my lungs. I toss the painkillers onto my bed, and feeling sicker than any hangover I can remember, I quickly run across the hallway to the bathroom. The kinds of drugs needed to eliminate my pain are illegal and highly addictive, but I would suffer the consequences just to feel anything other than what I am right now.

“Caroline?” June’s voice is soft and accompanied by an even softer knock on the bathroom door.

I rest my head against the wall, keeping the toilet bowl within reach. I close my eyes and try to imagine a restful place. My attempt to find peace is interrupted by another knock, and although my arms don’t feel like part of my body, I convince one of them to unlock the door. After I drop my arm back to my side, I lie, unmoving, against the cold tiled floor.

“Oh, Caroline, Liam told me your brother is hurt. He said he would get you a ticket to fly out this afternoon. I can help you pack or call your parents or…” She trails off as she turns to me with a warm washcloth in her hand while tears are streaming down her face. “I’ll do whatever you need, Care.”

If she only knew everything, she would realize that I don’t deserve her tears right now.
How can I tell her now?
After last night, she must know something is going on between Liam and me.
How can I tell her that my brother was about to break her heart? How can I tell her that the man she was falling for is now lying in a hospital bed, dying?

The warm moisture of the washcloth steadies my thoughts.
I won’t tell her anything.
I have to leave and be with my family. I have to forget that any of this is happening. I can’t worry about Liam. I can’t think about my best friend. I have to think about my parents and how they might be losing a son. I have to deal with the fact that my brother might be gone soon.

“I need to call my mom,” I say without looking at June.

“Okay, I’m going to shower and start packing. Let me know what you need.”

I know I should ask her where she’s going, but I just don’t care.

I call my mom, who is unable to talk without sobbing, so I end up talking with my dad.

“Hey, Dad. How’s CJ?”

“He’s stable for now, but I think you should still come home. Did you get a flight?”

“Yeah, sorry I didn’t call last night. I’ll be leaving this afternoon. June is taking me to the airport.”

“Alright, Care. Be careful and, we’ll see you soon.”

“Thanks, Dad. Love you,” I say before hanging up the phone.

Trying to pack, I walk around my room in a daze, remembering my brother. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of him as if he’s already gone.
But what if he is?

My brother was…scratch that…he
is
the kindest person. At least, I thought he was before this whole thing with June came up. He is my big brother, my biggest cheerleader, and my number one encourager. I don’t know if I’d be able to get through life without him.

He married his high school sweetheart. They fell in love, began their careers, and were living the happily-ever-after they both deserved. I can still hear him chastising me for dating so many guys when I was in high school.

“Caroline, don’t you want the feeling of missing someone when they’re not around?”

“Why would I want to miss someone when I could just enjoy the next person in line?” I answered.

“One day, you’ll begin to miss someone without realizing it. When that day comes, I want you to call me and tell me all about this magical boy who somehow made you fall in love.”

I will never forget his smile as he talked about falling in love. For him, it was a fairy tale that would never end—until, of course, it did end.

June’s voice breaks into my thoughts. “Caroline, we need to leave in about thirty minutes. Liam emailed me the itinerary. Are you about ready to go?”

“I’m ready.”

June takes my luggage to her car as I spend a few minutes pulling up my hair and washing my face.

The ride to the airport is a vague blur. After June parks the car, she gets out and begins to pull the luggage out of her trunk. My door opens, and I look up into Liam’s caring eyes. He pulls me to my feet and surrounds me in the warmth of his arms. He doesn’t ask if I’m okay, and he doesn’t tell me that everything is going to be alright. He just holds me for a moment. I glance to the ground behind him and see a dark green duffel bag sitting near his feet.

“Is that yours?” I ask.

“Yes. We’re going with you.”

“We?” I look at him, puzzled.

“Yes, you don’t need to do this alone,” June says from behind me.

“No, no, no! You have lives that need to be attended to here. You can’t just drop everything and take off to Seattle.” I am starting to panic inside.
June cannot get on that plane. She can’t find out the truth this way. And Liam? Didn’t I just try to kick Liam out of my life last night?
He can’t think this will erase what I was feeling before my life came tumbling down around me.

“You don’t have a choice. I’ve already bought our tickets, and our luggage is packed. We’re here for you,” Liam says, holding my hand and leaning down to pick up his duffel bag with his free hand.

I have no energy to fight this battle. Maybe this is the way things were meant to happen. By the end of this trip, it’s possible that I might lose my brother, June could hate me, and Liam may realize that settling down with me comes with a lot of baggage. This flight marks the beginning of the end of my life, and there’s no need to delay the inevitable.

Saturday

We walk into the airport together. While Liam is handling Caroline’s luggage, I’m barely handling my emotions. This morning, I witnessed my take-charge best friend crumble into despair. I have no clue what has happened to her brother, and at this point, I don’t think she could manage answering any questions. Her flawless face is surprisingly emotionless while my brother is leading her through the motions of checking in and going through security.

Although it is one of the most depressing things I have witnessed in my life, I am shocked at my brother’s caring nature with her. I mean, it’s not like he isn’t a nice person. He just normally ditches girls the minute anything serious happens. I would say a possibly dying brother, requiring a last-minute flight to Seattle, counts as serious. Instead of running away, he has stayed by her side.

When I told him she wasn’t able to talk on the phone this morning, he wanted me to make sure Caroline knew he was taking care of all the travel plans, so she wouldn’t worry. As I watch him guiding her, it warms my heart. Although I know I would be here for her even if he weren’t, I’m glad that she has someone strong to lean on.

My mind wanders to the last time I was in an airport security line. Cohen seemed like a gentleman. I just don’t understand what went wrong. It’s been seventy-two hours since I have seen or talked with him. This time, he left without a note or any kind of message.

Why hasn’t he called me or just sent a simple text?
I feel insensitive thinking about Cohen right now, but at least it keeps me from crying every time I look at Caroline’s face. In my head, I replay all the words he said to me when he poured out his feelings at dinner. I think about his soft kisses against my lips as they made me feel more emotion than I thought possible. Then, I remember him confessing that there are parts of his life he isn’t willing to share with me.
Why would he tell me he’s interested in getting to know me and then fall off the face of the planet?
Whatever he’s hiding, it must be a secret worth keeping. Sometime this week, when I get the courage, I’ll have to pick up the phone and call him out on his less than gentlemanly behavior.

After we make it through security without any trouble, Caroline, Liam, and I sit on a long blue bench to put our shoes back on. Caroline wore a pair of slip-on flats, so she’s done before Liam and I can tie our tennis shoes.

“I need to go to the restroom,” she states, her voice flat.