Crime Beat (13 page)

Why is it I only had ideas for horror stories? Leave it to a shrink to ask something like that. Oh, you’ll really going to have a field day with that, aren’t you? Well, ideas just come, and you can’t do anything about them. Unless you’re me.

I know you’re going to look in your diagnostic manual tonight and come up with some long explanation of why you think I’m crazy. Except you don’t call it “crazy,” do you? These are kinder, gentler times. You have to call it a “behavioral disorder.”

I don’t care what label you attach to me. I don’t believe in psychology. I don’t believe in insanity. I don’t believe in shrinks.

Oh, you’re offended? Well, let me fill you in on a little secret, because you’re not as good at reading minds as your predecessor. Did the hospital tell you why he resigned? Of course not. All you shrinks keep your secrets, even from each other.

Well, I’ll tell you why he left. We were sitting here, just like you and I are doing, and I was telling him my story. And all of a sudden I got this great idea for a novel. It just slipped out before I even realized what I was thinking about. And it’s a doozy. I may as well tell you about it, because it’s too late for you to steal it. Plus, no offense, but I don’t think you have what it takes to be a real writer like me.

Okay, the idea. This guy is in the psychiatric ward because he thinks people are stealing his ideas. Only nobody believes him, and they all think he’s crazy. So he escapes, and goes out to get revenge on all the writers who have made millions off of his ideas. Only when he gets out in the real world, he finds out that he’s really just an idea, that he doesn’t even exist at all. So it’s like he’s a ghost, which makes it real easy to get to these famous writers.

But the hero is smart, he doesn’t kill them or anything. That would be too easy. And they would be famous forever, and readers and critics would never know the lie behind the success stories. So the hero gives the writers bad ideas, sneaks in at night and alters their manuscripts, gives them a mild enough case of writer’s block that they get desperate. I thought about calling the book “Desperation,” but that one guy is so good he steals my titles before I even come up with them.

Pretty good idea, huh? Well, the doctor snatched it right out of my head, and if you pick up the latest “Publisher’s Weekly,” you’ll see that he just got a six-figure advance on an outline and sample chapter. It can happen to anybody, if you get a good idea. If you steal them from me.

See how well I’m controlling my anger? I’ll bet you wouldn’t be so calm, if you were in my shoes. But I’m used to it by now. I’m the idea man. I could almost be happy with that, and accept my place in the literary landscape. But the thing that bugs me the most is that nobody else knows. I’m not getting any credit.

And there’s one more thing. I’m a writer. And some day I’m going to get around to actually writing. One day soon, you’re going to let me have a pencil and some paper, maybe even a typewriter after I prove I’m not a threat to myself or others.

And I will write down my ideas, all the ones I kept locked away all these years. I have a lot of them. I’m going to be rich. Nobody thinks you’re crazy when you’re rich, even if you’re a horror writer.

And after I’m cured, when you think about what I’ve said and realize I’m right, you’re going to rubber-stamp my papers and I will be on the outside again. I know, I said a while ago that walls work both ways, but that was crazy talk, and you can see that I’m no longer crazy. You are such a good doctor that you are curing me. I’m feeling much better.

No, if I get out, I certainly won’t go after all those writers who got rich off of my ideas. That would be acting paranoid. Anyway, I’ll be too busy writing down my new ideas, which will be much better than the old ones. In fact, the readers will forget about all those other writers.

So that will be my only revenge. I’ll knock them off the bestseller lists. And I’ll let them have only my worst ideas. I’ll make millions, and the critics will eat those “ooh-la-lahs” alive.

Oh, I may do one more thing. After you let me out, I’m going to fly to the Merseyside. I’m going to hunt down that writer who satired me. I’m not going to stalk him or anything, and I won’t be carrying any sharp objects, except maybe a writing pen.

Maybe I’ll come up to him in a grocery store, or at a bus stop, or in a dark pub. I’ll look him in the eye and see if it twinkles. I’ll say, “Do you know me yet?”

And I’ll wait for him to ask for my autograph.

See me smile.

THE END

Return to
Table of Contents

###

THE SKULL RING

By Scott Nicholson

Julia Stone will remember, even if it kills her.

With the help of a therapist, Julia is piecing together childhood memories of the night her father vanished. When Julia finds a silver ring that bears the name "Judas Stone," the past comes creeping back. Someone is leaving strange messages inside her house, even though the door is locked. The local handyman offers help, but he has his own shadowy past. And the cop who investigated her father's disappearance has followed her to the small mountain town of Elkwood.

Now Julia has a head full of memories, but she doesn't know which are real. Julia's therapist is playing games. The handyman is trying to save her, in more ways than one. And a sinister cult is closing in, claiming ownership of Julia's body and soul . . . .

Learn more about
The Skull Ring
and False Recovered Memory Syndrome or
view it at Amazon
or
Amazon UK

Do you like movies? View the screenplay adaptation at
Amazon US
or
Amazon UK

SPEED DATING WITH THE DEAD

By Scott Nicholson

A paranormal conference at the most haunted hotel in the Southern Appalachian mountains…a man’s promise to his late wife that he’d summon her spirit…a daughter whose imagination goes to dark places…and demonic evil lurking in the remote hotel’s basement, just waiting to be awoken.

When Digger Wilson brings his paranormal team to the White Horse Inn, he is sceptical that his dead wife will keep her half of the bargain. He doesn’t believe in ghosts. But when one of the conference guests channels a mysterious presence and an Ouija board spells out a pet phrase known only to Digger and his wife, his convictions are challenged. And when people start to disappear, Digger and his daughter Kendra must face the circle of demons that view the hotel as their personal playground. Because soon the inn will be closing for good, angels can’t be trusted, and demons don’t like to play alone….

Learn more about
Speed Dating with the Dead
and the 2008 paranormal conference and inn that inspired the novel or
view it at Amazon
or
Amazon UK

AS I DIE LYING

By Scott Nicholson

Richard Coldiron’s first and last novel follows his metafictional journey through a troubled childhood, where he meets his invisible friend, his other invisible friend...and then some who aren’t so friendly.

There’s Mister Milktoast, the protective punster; Little Hitler, who leers from the shadows; Loverboy, the lusty bastard; and Bookworm, who is thoughtful, introspective, and determined to solve the riddle of Richard’s disintegration into either madness or genius, and of course only makes things worse.

Richard keeps his cool despite the voices in his head, but he’s about to get a new tenant: the Insider, a malevolent soul-hopping spirit that may or may not be born from Richard’s nightmares and demands a co-writing credit and a little bit of foot-kissing dark worship.

Now Richard doesn’t know which voice to trust. The book’s been rejected 117 times. The people he loves keep turning up dead. And here comes the woman of his dreams.

Learn more about
As I Die Lying
and the six people in Richard Coldiron’s head or
view it at Amazon
or
Amazon UK

LIQUID FEAR

By Scott Nicholson

When Roland Doyle wakes up with a dead woman in his motel room, the only clue is a mysterious vial of pills bearing the label “Take one every 4 hrs or else.”

Ten years before, six people were involved in a secret pharmaceutical trial that left one of them murdered and five unable to remember what happened. Now the experiment is continuing, as Dr. Sebastian Briggs wants to finish his research into fear response and post-traumatic stress disorder. He’s backed by a major drug company and an ambitious U.S. Senator, but he also has a personal stake in the outcome.

Only by taking the mysterious pills can the survivors stave off the creeping phobias and madness that threaten to consume them. But the pills have an unexpected side effect—the survivors start remembering the terrible acts they perpetrated a decade ago. They are lured back to the Monkey House, the remote facility where the original trials took place, and Briggs has prepared it for their arrival.

Now they are trapped, they each have only one pill left, and cracks are forming in their civilized veneer.

After the pills are gone, there’s only one option. “Or else.”

Read about it at
Haunted Computer
or view it at
Amazon US
or
Amazon UK

CHRONIC FEAR

By Scott Nicholson

Chronic Fear
is the second installment of the chilling Fear series, which began with the harrowing
Liquid Fear
. The story picks up one year after the notorious Monkey House trials, from which the tiny handful of survivors have scattered in the wind. For while the unwitting human guinea pigs are still alive, the experimental drugs to which they were subjected continue to wreak havoc on their emotional stability. World-renowned neurobiologist Dr. Alexis Morgan knows first-hand the horrors of the sadistic experiment: her husband, Mark, was one its victims. As a result, he is plagued by unpredictable bouts of rage and paranoia. Dr. Morgan’s research into the drug leads her to suspect presidential candidate and U. S. Senator Daniel Burchfield of plotting to gain control of the drug for his own purposes, a power play that is sure to result in countless casualties unless she and three Monkey House survivors can outwit the shadowy figures behind the conspiracy—if they don’t lose their own sanity first.

Read the first chapter at
Haunted Computer
or view it at
Amazon US
or
Amazon UK

CREATIVE SPIRIT

By Scott Nicholson

After parapsychologist Anna Galloway is diagnosed with metastatic cancer, she has a recurring dream in which she sees her own ghost. The setting of her dream is the historic Korban Manor, which is now an artist’s retreat in the remote Appalachian Mountains. Drawn both by the ghost stories surrounding the manor and her own sense of destiny, Anna signs up for the retreat.

Sculptor Mason Jackson has come to Korban Manor to make a final, all-or-nothing attempt at success before giving up his dreams. When he becomes obsessed with carving Ephram Korban’s form out of wood, he questions his motivation but is swept up in a creative frenzy unlike any he has ever known.

The manor itself has secrets, with fires that blaze constantly in the hearths, portraits of Korban in every room, and deceptive mirrors on the walls. A mysterious woman in white calls to Anna from the forest, while Mason is driven by the whispers of an unseen critic. With an October blue moon looming, both the living and the dead learn the true power of their dreams. The author’s preferred edition of the 2004 U.S. paperback
The Manor
.

Learn more about the paranormal thriller
Creative Spirit
or view it at
Amazon US
or
Amazon UK