“It tastes disgusting.” I gagged as the pill started dissolving on my tongue. I quickly took a drink and flushed it down.
“You’re such a baby,” Claire mumbled, walking out of the kitchen.
I found my mother lying next to me at 3:30 A.M. as I woke from that lucid nightmare once more. I must have slept at least five hours. Though physically I felt a little better, emotionally, I was a mess.
The medication was still at large inside my body. I felt drowsy but had enough energy to fight it. I wouldn’t let myself dream horribly, twice in one night.
Claire felt me creep out of bed and followed me downstairs to the living room.
“Go back to bed, Mom,” I whispered.
She shook her head, slurred something inaudible and fell asleep on the couch. I watched her sleep for a few minutes thinking about how long she had tolerated all those sleepless nights.
I didn’t tell her I wasn’t able to sleep until a month passed, for fear that she might do just this-stay up with me. And to think she’d have to work tomorrow while I could slack off at school.
My mom didn’t want me to work while I was still in high school. She said it was okay to be sheltered when you were a kid, and that I would appreciate having been able to enjoy my youth when I was older.
Mom began to work at the age of fourteen as a waitress at the only sit down restaurant that existed in town at that time. I don’t know if that was legal back then. Not that she was that old. She had me at the tender age of eighteen, having married my dad fresh out of high school.
Mom and Dad had been high school sweethearts, and she had gotten pregnant two months before their high school graduation. I guess, unconsciously she always worried that I would end up with her same fate, but she needn’t fret over that anymore.
I grabbed a quilt from the coat closet and softly placed it over my poor, tired mother.
As it was still fresh in my mind, I started jotting my dream down in my journal on the kitchen table.
Journal Entry 4, 4:03 A.M.
The sleeping aid did its job. I fell asleep within half an hour of taking it. I wish it hadn’t worked at all.
I saw you with a little more detail this time. You’re a muscular human etch with a darkness about you. My heart raced as I watched you in the distance walking toward me, snarling. I slept a full five hours before you ran toward me menacingly and I woke in a cold sweat.
The doctor wasn’t right about letting my dream play out. I’m more afraid than I had been in our previous encounters.
I fear you, but I won’t live like this anymore. I’m going to confront you tonight. Tear me apart if you want, but you will haunt me no more!
* * *
Writing down my thoughts didn’t take very long, and I still had two hours to go before I started getting ready for school. Time goes by slowly when there’s nothing good on T.V., there’s no one to talk to, or nothing to do. Waiting for the sun’s rays must be a virtue.
Claire opened my bedroom door as I curled the ends of my hair with my flat iron. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, and she looked rested and beautiful in her pantsuit.
“Hun, I left you some pancakes on the table. Call Dr. Jameson to tell him how you felt after taking the pill. Keep the caffeine intake to a minimum today and please,
please
remember to lock the front door—you’ve been so absent minded lately.” She said it all in one breath.
“Will do,” I said, twisting the flat iron on the last strand of hair that needed curling.
Claire walked over to me and kissed my head, “Thanks for taking the medication, baby. You have no idea how relieved I am.” She took one last look at me before she closed the door and smiled.
“I’m off to work!” I heard her yelling down the hall.
“‘Kay!” I hollered back.
I was happy my mother got a good night’s rest. I could see how much less worried she was.
Today, I paid more attention to the dark circles under my eyes. They didn’t change much overnight, but I applied more concealer than usual to keep Andy from worrying about me as well.
My cell phone rang while I was dabbing the last of the concealer under my left eye.
“So, you need a ride today, or are you still sleep walking to school?” Andy teased.
“Ha,” I smiled, “I’m walking.”
“You didn’t sleep?!” She expressed disbelief.
“Yeah, I did, around five hours or so.”
“What’d you dream?”
“Same thing, only…” I paused, “with a little more detail to THE BEAST.” I dramatized the last two words.
“Tell me about it at school?”
“Sure. Let me finish getting ready so I can start sleep walking there.”
“Bill just got here. Sure you don’t want a ride?” She insisted.
“I need the walk, but thanks,” I said, glossing my lips.
“Suit yourself. See you in a bit.” Andy hung up.
At school, I told Andy and Bill how that thing in my dream leapt and ran toward me violently growling. This was the first time I told them a detailed account of my dream.
“Do you think it might be something, you know, having to do with demons or evil spirits?” Bill was curious.
“Bill,” I closed my eyes and shook my head, “I did not need to hear that. I already pray like a religious fanatic. You’re only adding to my nightmares.”
Andy widened her eyes, “Geez, Isis! Why didn’t you ever tell us how scared you really are? Does my dad know about this?”
“Of course,” I rolled my eyes.
During the course of the morning I couldn’t seem to get Bill’s words out of my head: “demons or evil spirits”. I felt drowsy and unable to direct much attention to my morning classes. I was not looking forward to taking that pill tonight. Having heard those words spoken only made me dread the night more. Nonetheless, I would have to take it, and I would confront this creature.
At lunch I took some time to call Dr. Jameson to tell him the outcome of the medication. He wasn’t too pleased that I had only slept five hours. He suggested I take the pill earlier and double the dose. I wasn’t happy about that at all, but I had to bear it for my mother’s sake.
During the day, my nerves stirred by the passing hour, knowing that around eight o’clock I’d have to be in bed and ready to face-off terror.
At exactly eight o’clock Claire had a glass of milk and two pills waiting for me at the kitchen table. I took them without reproach.
Claire walked me to my room and sat on my bed as the medication slowly made its way through my blood stream.
“You don’t have to sleep with me, you know? I’ll be okay.” I patted my mother on the hand.
My head felt fuzzy, and my body started relaxing. This part of the sleeping process I did not mind. It had been a long time since I felt at ease while falling asleep. Maybe tonight would be different from the rest; maybe, just maybe, tonight I would dream something pleasant. I should be so lucky.
I lay in a field surrounded by a bed of yellow flowers. This was the poppy field I dreamt of every night.
A sensual breeze of sandalwood accompanied a delicate floral wave of aroma. I inhaled the sweetness in the air. Poppy petals caressed my skin imitating the finest of silks ever woven. As I turned to admire the lavender and rose colored sky that so brilliantly contrasted with the field of gold, I saw him—his dark penumbra in the distance. I knew he’d be waiting to renew my torment, but this dream would have a twist. I promised myself I’d confront him and this would be the end to my misery.
My body lifted and began to walk toward him. I wanted to stop when I saw him set his feet astride and ready to spring, but my subconscious was tired and angry and wanted these nightmares to end; I maintained my fast pace. I would not be intimidated by a figment of my own psyche.
As this thing saw me approach, it let out an echoing growl which I felt bounce off my chest. I kept walking. It charged toward me at an unbelievable pace. I shut my eyes and continued to walk. My heart raced with fear and I started the Father’s Prayer. Unable to remember the words, I stopped and kept my eyes shut.
I could hear its steps no more. I was sure it was gone.
Slowly, I began to open my eyes. Mortified, I gasped and froze. The blood drained from my face as I found it immediately before me, glaring coldly into my eyes. His snarls resonated like rolling thunder through the field. My body trembled.
I couldn’t so much as blink. Its contour became a blur to me. Finally, it took a few steps back, allowing my eyes to regain focus.
It was a tall, sculpted young male. His hair was as black as a raven. His skin was golden and his eyes were a rare indigo blue color. His wings spanned across six feet to each side. He wore nothing but a white, gold lined loin skirt.
My mouth dropped. I was unable to utter a word, but he, on the other hand, was quick to query.
“Why do you keep coming here?” He asked with a scornful stare.
Still in shock from what I had previously thought was a monstrosity I could not speak. He was, somehow, angelic—perfectly crafted and beautiful all over.
“In the name of who do you come to me?” He persisted with his questioning.
I slowly composed myself. “This is
my
dream. You can’t question me. I do the talking here. I’ve seen what you really are and your growls and snarls cause me laughter. I’m not afraid of you. You’re just a fictional character in my overactive imagination.”
I watched him take a seat on a rock. He set his hand over his mouth in silence as if in thought.
“How did you find your way here? Why don’t you stay in your world? This is my domain, and you have no business here.”
“Who are you to kick me out of my own dreams?” I scoffed.
At this, he laughed much amused.
“I’m your dream weaver, my dear. Something you are ignorant of in your reality.”
“No… you are only a figment of my imagination, and I am not afraid of you.” I crossed my arms waiting for his response.
“You’re a sprightly little thing, aren’t you—full of charisma?” He stood, took a few steps in my direction, and growled viciously at me.
I silently whimpered.
“You lie when you say you do not fear me. You fear me plenty, my dear.” He sneered.
“What is there to fear if you aren’t real?” I countered with a shaky voice.
“Oh, on the contrary, I am plenty real, and I can prove it.” He threatened in a low deep voice.
I analyzed his golden face in silence. I reminded myself this was only a dream before I could start crying.
“Prove it then,” I challenged.
I heard a low growl forming in his chest. He swiftly stood from where he was seated. He set his face an inch away from mine, then bared his teeth as his top lip quivered. I started praying like my life depended on it. He suddenly softened his glare, took a step back and vanished leaving behind a cloud of golden shimmer.
I was alone in the field. I had done it; he was gone. I sat down with a wide smile of satisfaction across my face. The field was mine again to dream in.
For the first time in months, I woke to the sound of my phone alarm. Claire had fallen asleep beside me. The loud noise of the missile alarm scared her half to death. She sprung off my bed and landed on her hands and knees on the floor. I burst into laughter unable to help her up.
“Turn that stupid thing off!” She was enraged.
I tried as hard as I could to help her up after I turned the phone off but ended up rolling on the floor cackling. I could tell Claire wanted to laugh.
“Oh my God!” I chortled. “Too funny!”
“Shut up and get dressed,” she said slamming the door to my room. I could hear her giggling in the hallway.
I arrived at school smiling and a little drowsy from the medication. Bill noticed my mood immediately. My glossy eyes must have tipped him off.
“Are you high, or did you get some sleep?” He joked.
“Both,” I laughed. “I slept the whole night!”
Andy smiled and handed me an oatmeal cookie. “You look so much better.”
“Yeah,” I yawned, “but I’m so sleepy.”
“So, tell me about your dream.” Andy took a bite of her cookie.
“I confronted him, Andy! And get this: he wasn’t a monster at all. He was just a guy with wings and gold skin… and who growled a lot.” I chuckled.
“A golden boy with wings? “Bill rolled his eyes, joining the conversation.”
“Wow! Maybe he was an angel?” Andy seemed curious.
“Trust me he was no angel. He growled at me right in my face. I was scared witless.”
I took a sip of Andy’s milk. “He’s gone though. He disappeared, hopefully forever. I told him I wasn’t afraid of him and poof, he was gone.”
“At a girl!” Andy gave me a one-armed hug. “Call my dad to tell him the news later.”