Crazy Little Thing (8 page)

CHAPTER 6

I WOKE UP THE NEXT morning filled with a buoyancy I hadn’t felt in years. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a handsome man who was in no way related to me had stayed for dinner. Oh, I knew it didn’t
mean
anything. But the flirting was fun and having him there had been exciting, like watching a storm roll in from over the lake and wondering where the lightning might strike.

I zipped through my morning grooming routine so I could call Penny. She’d get a kick out of this.

“Hello?” She sounded grumpy. I must have woken her up.

“Hi. Go pee and call me back.”

As a sign of respect, we had agreed to never use the toilet while talking to each other on the phone. Well, it was partly out of respect and partly because of the time Penny dropped her brand new cell phone in the toilet.

“I already peed. And I’m not pregnant.” She sighed.

“Oh, Penn. I’m sorry. Sometimes it takes a while.”

“Yeah, I know. I just thought it would be fun if it happened right away. It’s been three months already. We tried for a couple months before I even told you.”

“It’ll happen. Didn’t Jeff tell you he has bionic sperm?”

Penny sighed again. “No, he says he’s got a bionic penis.”

“Oh. That’s different.”

“Yeah. If only it were true. Anyway, what’s up with you? How’s life in Dody’s world?” Penny never wallowed in self-pity for long. That was my department.

“Guess who ate dinner with us last night?” I fell back onto the bed and put my feet up on the wall like I used to do as a teenager.

“I don’t know. Richard?”

“Ugh! God, no. Why would you even think that?”

I heard her huff. “I’m still in a bad mood. Just tell me.”

This should cheer her up. “Running Man!”

“The good-looking guy who runs on the beach every day?”

“That’s the one.” I provided her with my abbreviated version of last night’s events, including the fact that he had an adorable cowlick right in the front.

“He’s staying at the Pullmans’?” she asked.

“Yes, while they’re on vacation. He said they’re traveling around Europe for two months and then going to visit their daughter in Arizona. Des is Dr. Pullman’s temporary replacement at the hospital.”

“What happens when they come back?”

I readjusted the pillows behind my head. “I don’t know. I guess he goes back to Chicago. Does it matter?”

“Hmm.”

That was not an ordinary, run-of-the-mill
hmm
. It was fraught with meaning.

I sat up on the bed. “What, hmm?”

“He sounds like a perfect transitional man. You know, get a little wet in the dating pool, as it were.”

I fell back on the covers. “Great, you sound like Dody and Fontaine. Just because I think he’s cute, don’t go making something out of it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who called at the butt crack of dawn to chat about him,” she teased.

“Hardly the butt crack of dawn, you lazy ass. It’s nine o’clock. Once you have that baby you’ll be getting up before the sun. Speaking of that, I should see if my kids are poking forks into the toaster. And I’m determined to get them in the lake today. They’re still too chicken to swim. I’ll call you later, OK?”

“OK, I’ll be around. Probably doing yoga and thinking fertile thoughts. Oh, and before I forget, I happened to be over by your place the other day and your grass looks terrible. It’s turning brown.”

“It is? It looked fine to me last week. I wonder if the sprinkler system is messed up again. Can you check on that?”

“I can try, but you guys have that hi-tech system. I’d have an easier time defusing a bomb. Can’t you ask Richard?”

My stomach churned. “If I do, he’s going to tell me I’m the one who messed it up, whether I did or not. I hate to give him the ammunition.”

It was so easy now, being annoyed with Richard even when he wasn’t there. It hadn’t always been that way. I fell in love with him the day we met, but I’d been slowly trying to claw my way out of that hole ever since. Still, maybe he’d surprise me and be gracious and helpful.

Yeah, and maybe I was a D cup. I looked down at my barely Bs and sighed. Nope. Some things would never change.

“Mommy, it’s too cold!” Paige screeched. “The waves are ginormous.”

“Stop it. They’re, like, ankle deep. Come on! Just get your feet wet. Mommy is right here.”

We’d been down at the lake for an hour, and my brave little soldiers still refused to dip so much as a pinky toe into Lake Michigan.

Fontaine sat on a lounge chair while wearing one of Dody’s sun hats. The effect was quite spectacular.

“The water is too big, Mommy!” Jordan shouted from his safe spot behind Fontaine’s back. “I don’t like it.”

“Seriously, you guys! If you’re not going to play in the water, we may as well go back to Glenville.”

Paige gasped. “You can’t take us back yet, Mommy! Aunt Dody promised to teach me how to bejewel!”

“I’m not going home,” Jordan pouted. “And I’m not swimming either. I’ll swim when I’m big as Jasper.”

This battle was lost. It was too beautiful a day to argue with them. “Fine, fine, fine. You guys win. But sooner or later you’re going to have to get in this lake.”

I walked from the shore and slumped down in the sand next to Fontaine. Paige gave Jordan a fist bump of victory before they took off for drier ground.

Fontaine ruffled my hair. “You wouldn’t swim when you were little either. Don’t you remember?”

“Yes, that’s why I’m so anxious to get them in the water, so they’ll realize there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

That was a lie, actually. I knew there were tons of things to be afraid of in that lake. Slimy, sinister creatures lurking just beneath the surface, waiting to grab your ankle and pull you under. Like gargantuan electric eels or waterlogged corpses from the
Edmund Fitzgerald
. OK, so that sank in Lake Erie, but still...

Fontaine adjusted his Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses. “Right. So anyway, I talked to my boss, Kyle, and he agrees this organizing thing could be a massive hit with our clientele. He wants to meet you.”

I sat up straight.

“Are you crazy? I’m not ready for that. I’m not sure I want to do it at all. I’m here on vacation, remember?”

“Oh, relax, spazmotron. Just talk to him and hear what he has to say. He’s a dreamboat to work with and you’ll love him.” He brushed sand from one foot with the other.

“I’m sure he’s marvelous if he can stand working with you, but that’s still not the point. I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t had any special training. I mean, cleaning Dody’s closets is one thing, but organizing for somebody else would be too scary.” I shook my head.

“Too scary?” He pulled those same sunglasses down his nose and peered at me over the rim. “Too scary, like swimming in a lake just because you can’t see the bottom? Honestly, woman, have some cojones. Take a risk once in a while.”

A hot wind swirled around us, stirring up sand and stinging me like Fontaine’s words.

“That’s not fair. I take risks. Didn’t I let you talk me into this new haircut? And color? Am I not wearing blue fingernail polish? If that’s not a risk, I don’t know what is.”

Fontaine pushed the sunglasses back up. “Look, you finally divorced the Big Dick. And that is a major step in the right direction. But what have you done to get your life rolling again? And you know I’m not talking about nail polish.”

I didn’t like this conversation. It was hard enough to ignore Fontaine’s suggestions when he was being silly, but when he was being earnest, it was twice as bad. Once he sank his teeth into something, he was relentless. “It’s only been a few weeks, you know.”

“Liar. It’s been over a year since you broke up with Richard. What are you waiting for?”

I kicked sand over his feet, pretending it was an accident. I wanted to defend myself and say I’d been doing all kinds of bold and risky stuff, but I couldn’t think of one thing. After catching Richard with that redhead, my life had been occupied with divorce proceedings and trying to get through each day without doing permanent psychological damage to my children. I’d had a garage sale, bought new bed linens, burned the old ones, and changed all my lamps over to energy-saving bulbs. Other than that, I was pretty much on autopilot.

“It’s not that easy, Fontaine,” I whispered.

He put his arm around me. “I know, sugarplum. But it’s time. And organizing is something you’re really good at. So you should make the most of it. Plus it’s something you can do once you’re back in Glenville. Just think about it. I told Kyle we’d have lunch with him tomorrow.”

I jumped up, scattering sand everywhere. “Fontaine! Why did you do that? I’m not ready.”

“Fake it till you make it, baby girl. Just trust me on this.” He stood up and patted my shoulder. “You’ll be fabulous. I’ll take the kids up to the house now, and you think about it.”

He gestured to the kids, and they skipped after him up the steps, leaving me to stare out over the water and ponder.

I bit my lip. It was ridiculous, me trying to be a professional anything. Sure, I was great at figuring out which cupboard should hold baking supplies and which should hold the coffee cups. And maybe Dody’s efficient new pantry did sparkle with crisp, color-coded labels. But that didn’t mean I was some kind of expert.

Still, what was the worst thing that could go wrong? Somebody wouldn’t like the font I used for their labels? Or they’d think alphabetized spice racks were overkill?

Maybe Fontaine was right. I was good at putting things in order. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to start doing that with my own life. Maybe I could do this. Hadn’t I already organized kitchens and closets for my friends back home? I could do the same for complete strangers, right?

I sat back down in the sand and let my mind wander over the wonderful possibilities. And there were loads of them. Then I mentally categorized those possibilities. Because that’s what I do. As I soaked up the sun, I came up with a plan. Sure, it might be a little risky. But hey, I was a gal wearing blue nail polish. I could take on anything.

By late afternoon, my euphoria, like a tan heading into September, was patchy and fading fast. Back at the house, the brief blip of enthusiasm I’d felt over Fontaine’s idea had turned to pure dread. I didn’t know the first thing about being professional at anything. And the flirty joy Des had stirred up in me at dinner last night was as dead as a fish rotting on the sand. It stank like that too.

The good doctor had been charming, yes. But that had nothing to do with me. He was a nice guy doing a neighborly house call for a crazy old lady, and that’s all there was to that. He must have swarms of women buzzing around. I was nothing more than another drone in his ear. Not that I cared, because I wasn’t interested in a relationship. And Penny’s stupid notion of a transitional man? What was that all about?

Anyway, he probably had a girlfriend. No doubt some Argentinean supermodel currently on a
Sports Illustrated
photo shoot. After he’d left our house last night, they’d probably had scandalously wicked phone sex while I, on the other hand, had put on my rattiest pajamas and watched
Animal Planet
with Fontaine.