Crazy Little Thing (33 page)

I had never seen Dody cry. And she was determined I wouldn’t see it now. She blinked back tears and forced a smile.

My heart froze in place.

“Beth, dear, could you take the little ones upstairs and help them get into jammies? I need to talk to my big kids for a few minutes.”

Everyone stopped talking. The air crackled with tension, warning each of us this was not one of Dody’s whimsical announcements about taking up archery or entering the Miss Gorgeous Geriatric Pageant.

Beth nodded, scooting my kids from the room. The rest of us sat back down at the dinner table.

Dody stared at her hands for a minute before speaking. When she looked up, her eyes were rimmed with unshed moisture.

“Thank you, children, for such a lovely dinner. I’m sorry changing my birthday party has caused such a ruckus. That’s what I was trying to avoid. But it seems I need to tell you all something.” She breathed in. She breathed out. Seconds passed that felt like an eternity. “It seems I have a little bit of cancer and I want to have my party before I begin any treatment.”

The air in the room turned toxic and heavy. I clutched at Fontaine’s hand. Did she say what I think she said?

“What does that mean? A little bit of cancer?”

“It’s some kind of duck filter something or other. I can’t remember the name exactly. Oh, wait. I wrote it down in case I forgot. The paper is in my purse.”

Forgot? She forgot? Who the hell forgets what kind of cancer they have? The room spun and shrunk as we waited for her to rummage through her bag. She pulled out a powder compact, a lipstick, and a cowbell, setting them on the table before producing a tattered slip of paper.

“Here we go. It says here I have infiltrating ductal carcinoma.” She reached under her arm and pressed. “It’s around here someplace. But the doctor tells me, in the scheme of things, this isn’t one of the really bad cancers because they can treat it.”

“All cancer is bad, Mom,” Jasper gasped.

“Well, yes, of course, but it isn’t the worst kind. With surgery and some chemo, I should be as good as new.” Her lips trembled, betraying her optimistic words.

I didn’t know what to say. None of us did. I thought Richard trying to steal my house and my kids was awful news. This was as bad.

Dody filled the painful silence with her usual sunny optimism. “So now you know. But don’t you dare start treating me like some invalid, because I feel fine. And I’m going to stay fine. It’s simply amazing what they can cure nowadays, so I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. And I don’t want to tell anyone outside of this room until after the party. Do you hear me?” She shook a finger at each one of us. “No one else knows. Except for Des, of course. He took me in for my biopsy. Sadie, I’m so grateful to him. Be sure to tell him that.”

Tinier and tinier the room contracted, the walls collapsing toward me. He took her for her biopsy? How long had he known?

“When was your biopsy, Dody?” I asked.

“Three weeks ago. That must be when I lost my earring in Des’s car. But I only got the results yesterday.” She dropped the slip of paper back into her purse and opened the compact. She began to powder her nose, casually, as if she hadn’t made the most dramatic announcement any of us had ever heard.

“Three weeks? Mom, why didn’t you tell us?” Fontaine exclaimed. Jasper stared at her as if she were already a ghost.

“Because I knew you’d worry, and there was no point. Until we had the results there was nothing to talk about. But Des was so helpful. You really do get the movie star treatment when you bring your own doctor for a biopsy, let me tell you. I felt like Shirley MacLaine.”

This was just sinking in. He took her for the biopsy? Des had known about this for three weeks and never said a word to me? How could he have kept this a secret?

Fontaine began to inundate Dody with questions while we all tried to absorb this unfathomable news. At last she held up both hands.

“Please, darlings, I have another appointment with my doctor the day after tomorrow. I’ll know more then. And if you want to come with me, be my guest.”

Fontaine’s chair scraped against the floor. He stood up and walked over to the window, biting on his thumbnail.

“This isn’t a tragedy, all of you. Do you hear me? This isn’t the end of my life, and it certainly isn’t the end of yours. But if you don’t throw me the biggest bash this side of Lake Michigan, I might die just to come back and haunt you.”

“This isn’t a joke, Mom,” Jasper whispered.

She patted his hand. “I know it isn’t, dear. But if we stop laughing then the terrorists have won. So stop moping and start planning my party.”

Time hung suspended while we exchanged disbelieving looks. Then Fontaine turned around, cleared his throat, and folded his hands behind his back. With the gravity of a judge he said, “I assume you’ll want to invite all the usual suspects?”

Dody smiled. “Of course.”

“And you’ll want a big, obnoxious cake and lots of booze?”

“Definitely.”

“I can arrange that.”

Powered by the beauty of pure, raw denial, we started discussing party plans instead of treatment options. That would come soon enough. But right now Dody wanted to talk about balloon bouquets, mariachi bands, and if the silk dress Walter had bought her in Thailand might be too dressy for this party.

All the while we faked our acceptance, I was thinking of Des and how he’d kept this a secret from me for three solid weeks. That was unforgivable.

I tucked in Paige and Jordan that night, giving them kiss after kiss until they told me to stop. Dody’s announcement had changed everything, suddenly bringing my life into focus. Family counted most. Being surrounded by the people you loved is what made life...well, life. None of the rest of it mattered. Suddenly I didn’t care if Richard took that stupid house in Glenville. It was full of crap I didn’t need and ugly memories that only held me back. But he wasn’t going to steal away one moment of my time with my children. For that, I would fight him with everything I had.

Once the kids fell asleep, I checked with Fontaine to make sure he’d be around if they needed anything and then I walked down the street to Des’s house. I was so angry with him for not telling me about Dody I was numb with it. I felt gullible and betrayed. Hadn’t he said to Tom and Tasha he was no good at subterfuge? Sure seemed like he was! If he was so good at keeping secrets, what else might he keeping from me? Tears burned like acid in my eyes. This was a terrible day.

The lights were on at Des’s so I knew he was still awake. He’d said he was tired and going to sleep. Guess that was a lie too.

I knocked rapidly on his door. When he opened it, I poked him in the chest. Hard.

“You knew? You knew for three weeks she had cancer and you didn’t tell me?”

He stepped back, but I followed, jabbing at his chest again, harder this time. “How could you not tell me?”

He held up his hands in defense. “Sadie, we weren’t sure it was cancer until yesterday. And ethically, it wasn’t my information to share.”

“Ethically? That’s a load of shit, Des. You think it was more ethical to keep her family in the dark?” I tried to jab him again.

“Stop that!” He deflected my hand. “I didn’t have any choice. I wanted to tell you, but she made me promise.”

“Of course you had a choice! You could have told her no. Keeping something a secret is the same as lying.”

Even I didn’t believe that, but I was eager for a fight.

His jaw set stubbornly. “God damn it, Sadie. That’s the second time you’ve accused me of being a liar. I respected Dody’s wishes, and if you have a problem with that then take it up with her.”

“But you’re a doctor. She would have listened to you. Now we’ve wasted three weeks when we could have been planning some kind of treatment.”

“Yes, I’m a doctor. But I’m not
her
doctor.” He turned around and walked to the couch. He sat down heavily. “Look, I tried to help her out by taking her for the biopsy when she asked me to, and the oncologist she’s seeing is one of the best. But there’s not much more I can do for her. I’m caught in the middle of a situation I shouldn’t be any part of. I didn’t sign up for this.”

My anger nearly gave way to tears. “None of us signed up for this. And I have a completely legitimate reason for being upset.”

He sighed. “Yes, you do. Just not at me. At least not about that.”

A puffer fish inflated in my gut. “What does that mean?”

He rubbed his forehead. “Sit down here a minute.”

“I don’t want to sit down.”

He wouldn’t look at me. What could he possibly say to make this day worse?

He ran a hand through his hair.

Something in his expression filled me with the worst sort of dread.

“Sadie, I know the timing of this sucks. But there’s something I have to tell you.”

I knew I didn’t want to hear it. No matter what it was, I wasn’t going to like it.

“I’ve had a job offer. A really phenomenal job offer. In Seattle. They want me to start as soon as possible.”

Seattle. As in Washington? God, that was pretty fucking far away from Bell Harbor.

“For how long?” I heard myself whisper.

His eyes were dark and heavy when he looked my way. “Permanently.”

The earth tilted on its axis and nearly knocked me to the ground. Permanent was a very long time. Permanent was longer than my marriage lasted.

“So you’ve told them yes?” The voice was mine, but the words were coming from nowhere. My brain had shut down. Breathing took all my concentration.

“It’s a great job, Sadie. I’d be a fool to pass it up.”

I nodded, my throat closing shut. I should have known this was how things would go. I was the fool to think this would end any other way. I wanted to be furious with him for lying, for leading me on. Only he hadn’t.

And even if he had, none of it mattered now. My life would soon be consumed by a custody battle and helping out with Dody. I wouldn’t have time for this silly, pointless fling anyway.

Des looked away. “I wish I could be here for you right now, Sadie. I really do. It’s just not going to work.”

I don’t remember walking home. I’m not sure if I said anything else before stumbling out his door. All I know is I ended up back at Dody’s, sobbing into my pillow. My heart galloping as if I’d run the race of my life but lost inches from the finish line.

Des was leaving, Dody was dying, and Richard was trying to take my kids. Everything inside me felt loose and unattached and covered in spikes.

Hours later, after my first round of tears had been shed, I climbed into bed with Paige. I breathed in the sweet, soft smell of her skin and prayed with all my heart that she would never, ever fall in love.

CHAPTER 24

MY ATTORNEY, JEANETTE, WAS THE sort of elegant, overaccomplished woman I normally disliked on principle alone. She was brilliant, fearless, and dressed with a panache even Fontaine could not duplicate. Her skin reminded me of a mocha latte, and her dark, soulful eyes saw through bullshit like laser vision.

In a single minute she could switch from demure and persuasive to abrasive and pushy, depending on the situation. She also dropped the f-bomb about as often as she blinked. She intimidated the hell out of me, but she was on my side, and so I loved her almost as much as I hated Richard.

She pulled a few papers from her sleek leather bag, setting them down on the table between us. We had agreed to meet at a coffee shop in Bell Harbor because I couldn’t bear the drive to Glenville. Anything that brought me closer to Richard and farther from Dody was too painful.

“I talked to his attorney,” Jeanette said. “I think he’s trying to scare you. He pitched high so he’d have some bargaining power.”

I shifted in my chair. “So what is it he really wants?”

“According to my inside source, he wants the house.”

“That’s it? He’s threatening to take my kids because he wants the house?”

“You know Richard. It’s all about the money and the prestige. His apartment is a fucking dump and he’s paying the mortgage on a house you’re not using. I’d give pretty good odds his lawyer convinced him to play the custody card to freak you out and make you malleable.”

“It’s working.”

Jeanette frowned and adjusted her designer glasses. “Don’t let him bulldoze you, Sadie. We can fight him on this.”

I had thought about this a lot over the past few days. Incessantly, in fact, between crying jags over Dody’s cancer and Des’s abrupt departure. He hadn’t even said good-bye. I’d gone to the Pullmans’ house last night hoping to talk but he was already gone. There were cardboard moving boxes inside, from what I could see by peeking in the windows, but there was no sign of him.

Moving home to Glenville would have been the logical thing to do. I could pick up right where I left off, strolling around a big empty house haunted by the ghost of failure, surrounded by friends who were anything but. Or I could stay here and be useful. Dody needed me now, and frankly, I sort of needed her too.

“I don’t care about the house. He can have it as long as I keep full custody.”

Jeanette scribbled a few notes in the margin of the paper. “The housing market in Glenville is tanked right now. You could probably find a smaller, decent place to live, but what do you plan to use for money? I don’t do pro bono.”