Cravings (Fierce Hearts) (3 page)

It wasn’t until recently that Casey had learned about Kennedy, and when he had, he’d also learned that years ago, his parents, Jerry and Camille Mitchell, had been coerced by William Carter to join The Nexus Group. Asher gritted his teeth at the idea of Carter offering financial incentives to a struggling young couple, making it seem as though they’d be part of a philanthropic group that would help the city of Laurelwood prosper. All they’d had to do was make a special contribution when the time was right. But it was all a plan for William to get his hands on their child, a were-lynx, for experimentation. His parents had managed to keep Casey’s identity secret. The medical care provided by TNG, however, gave Carter access to records that later clued him into Casey’s identity. When Camille had another child, Kennedy, the doctor had handed the baby to TNG and told Casey’s parents the baby had died.

The colony cats all had their own story of challenges, including Asia. Spunky and sassy Asia Blue had become a close friend since he and his sister Lara had joined the colony, as all the current colony cats were. She and Conrad weren’t dating, as far as he could tell, but they had a special bond between them that was rooted in their past. It interested him, but he would never bring it up to Conrad. Conrad had no patience and a sharp attitude. Maybe Asia would be open to his prying.

Conrad was a pure, as he and Lara were, and Asher had been told pures could be arrogant. Conrad definitely fit that description. But Asher didn’t feel intimidated by Conrad’s pure bloodlines or his edgy personality. It really didn’t matter.

Asher’s insides squeezed tight as the course of his thoughts evoked memories of the rest of his family and how Lara had been the only one to stick beside him. It was their first experience with a colony. His mother was a pure, of course, as was his father. His two brothers, Kendall and Finn, had not expressed were-cat traits. Those traits were expressed in just Lara and himself. The family had not belonged to a colony, but they kept to themselves to avoid problems with humans. In general, keeping to themselves was a way for were-cats to survive, but some, such as Casey’s colony cats, lived among humans but kept their true identity secret.

He felt the memory of what he’d done crawl up his insides with claws. He’d never get past the guilt. He’d been eighteen, just beginning to express his were-bobcat traits and special abilities. He hadn’t yet gotten control of them when he’d played a prank on his younger brother Kendall that had involved nudging him. He dared Kendall to race him on their dirt bikes. Kendall was an easy nudge, and at first it had been fun riding around the hills behind their house, racing each other to the designated finish line. But Kendall didn’t have the strength and agility that had been natural for Asher. The image of his brother careening down a steep incline and landing at the bottom with his leg bent awkwardly sent shivers trailing through him.

The accident had left his brother disabled. The break had affected growth plates in his leg, and it wouldn’t continue to gain length, the doctor had told them. He’d said it was possible surgery could improve his chances for near-complete healing, but in Kendall’s situation, even surgery and follow-up treatment had been unsuccessful.

Even though Asher’s parents were were-cats, they’d never understood him. He was always getting in trouble and causing attention. The kind of thing his parents feared would bring them trouble from humans. That nudge had been the last straw. They’d continued to support him financially until he finished college and turned twenty-one, but then they’d told him to leave home and never return. They’d paid the bills for him and kept him fed, but eventually they’d moved away and left no contact information. That’s when his sister got in a terrible fight with them over cutting him out. She took him under her wing, and they went it alone for a while. Neither of them had any further contact with their family. Then Casey’s colony had found them near Laurelwood and invited them to join.

No one, except maybe Lara, knew how much that one incident had affected him. He’d never forgive himself. And he’d forever be grateful to Casey for taking him in. But the rejection from his family shaped his self-image and his attitude toward others. He kept himself aloof, knowing he could lose control and hurt someone else.

He shook his head to settle his thoughts on the present. The noises and scents of the newspaper’s offices enveloped him in familiar and comfortable.

A cup of coffee in hand from the break room, and Asher settled in at his desk in front of his computer. He scanned the wire for any stories about Carter Enterprises. Having just recently lost its CEO, the powerful but sinister William Carter, the company probably was going through reorganization.

The father of one of the colony’s friends, Jackson Carter, William had a reputation for harming people. His death had felt like a form of justice. Everyone in the colony had sympathized with Jackson’s loss, but Asher knew as well as Casey, Jackson’s longtime friend, that with his father’s death, Jackson had been relieved. Though the company ownership now passed to Jackson and his brother, Graham, Jackson continued his work with his investigations firm, for which Casey worked, too.

The Carter effect had exerted an impact not only on Jackson, but also on Lacey, Jackson’s wife, when she had uncovered one of William’s initial illegal drug projects. Throughout Carter’s lifetime, he’d done more than his share of creating chaos for good people, including Michelle Slade, Casey’s fiancée, office manager for Aegar Investigations and cat rescue owner. It was the colony’s attempts to deter Carter’s land grab of Michelle’s house that led them to discover the project that Kennedy had been a part of. It was during that rescue that Asher had made friends with Aegar investigators, sisters Sterling and Lacey, and they’d all learned more about The Nexus Group.

His eyes on the screen, Asher sipped his coffee, remembering the night the colony had freed the cats that had been kidnapped by Carter’s employees and subjected to illegal drug testing. Sadly, not all the cats had made it. He would probably never forget watching Adrian, a were-lynx subject the colony had rescued, lie on the ground and slowly die. That night they’d found Kennedy in captivity, also, and brought her with them.

The sounds of reporters chatting and copy editors conferring mingling with the click-clicking of keyboarding and the brisk scent of coffee was like white noise for Asher. He’d been a reporter here at the
Gazette
since he’d graduated from college a year ago. As was his way with any human group, he kept his distance. The colony’s rules forbade revealing the presence of were-lynxes among a human population. That rule had always been upheld, until, that is, Casey was elected leader about a year ago. Casey wanted the colony to evolve in ways that not only kept every member safe, but also allowed them all to form meaningful relationships and attachments with each other as well as any human who could be trusted.

At first, Casey’s leadership style had ruffled some members of the colony, even though he’d been voted in. He was a moggie, a were-cat born from parents who were not pure. Pures were born from two, full-blooded were-cats. Historically, pures had always run the colony. Casey’s father was pure, but his mother was human. Casey’s leadership drew criticism easily. It was hard to legislate change of ancient traditions. But the colony was learning to think more than blindly follow outdated rules.

But beyond those species rules, Asher kept himself detached for his own personal reasons. Those reasons were based on the real experiences with his family, and they were ever present in his mind.

He rolled his head to relax his muscles and allowed the sounds of the sports department to embrace him. The easy camaraderie among the reporters gave him a tiny sense of belonging, while at the same time they reminded him that hope for any strong emotional bond had been shattered the day he’d nudged his brother too far. He’d been eighteen at the time and wild. What he’d done was wrong; he knew that now. But it had hurt like hell when they’d rejected him and cut him out of their lives. And every day since, the cut went deeper. But he never showed that pain, never let it occupy his mind for very long. Exposing weakness was not his way.

The colony knew him as an audacious, easygoing were-bobcat. What they didn’t know was that he was more than just those things and he longed for more, too. He truly cared about others, and deep inside, cravings for acceptance and acknowledgement of him as a worthy individual ate him up.

Drawn from his introspection by what he saw on the screen, Asher stopped scrolling. He read a small piece about a privately owned research company making a major contribution to a politician’s election campaign. A quick search of the company, Phoenix Biosciences, came up with a description of its areas of research. Asher swallowed hard. According to the company’s website, it specialized in exploring genomic and nanotechnological approaches to curing major diseases. That bothered him. Suspicion immediately raised the small hairs on the back of his neck. The politician was known to run in the same circles William Carter had. Asher made a mental note to check into the company and the politician, Daren Sage.

“Hey, Asher, you look serious.” A coworker, Doug Henry, slapped him on the shoulder. The atmosphere in the sports department was typically jovial and laid back—except when the local sports teams weren’t playing well. “You got media day at the basketball stadium on campus? I know how you love all that craziness.” The man’s voice was heavy with sarcasm.

“Ah, yeah. I’ve got that this afternoon.”

“Any predictions on the game?” The man took the chair beside Asher’s desk and waited.

As Asher’s mind caught up with thoughts of what he’d just read and a possible connection to The Nexus Group, Asher reached into his center, the place where he felt the flow of life energy, and directed it gently toward his coworker. From his mind he added thoughts to the flowing energy, suggestions to end this boring conversation and step away.

“Well, I guess you haven’t pinned down the predicted winner yet.” He stood and smiled. “I’ll let you get back to work,” he muttered, then walked back to his own desk.

Asher sighed, a combination of relief and guilt. Sure, he could have just told the guy to get lost. Offer up some
nice
excuses for ending the conversation. But it was so much easier to simply nudge, and in this case there was no harm done. In fact, it was better to end the pointless conversation and focus on this drug company he’d read about. If it were in some way connected to The Nexus Group, he was better not to waste his time in mindless chitchat and instead spend it on digging for the truth. Kennedy’s life and those of his fellow colony cats could be at stake.

Kennedy watched through the window as Tizzy’s students ran off their energy on the playground. The second graders laughed and played on the equipment with abandon the way most kids would. It brought out a smile on her face. An impulse surged through her to join them in that easy abandon. Resisting the ingrained pattern of tamping down her spontaneous urges, she walked out of the empty classroom and headed down the hall to the library.

As her feet stepped into the hushed ambiance of books and students studying, disappointment hammered through her at never having known something so beautiful existed for children. She’d been homeschooled by her mother and spent most of her time alone or with her handlers, the men who’d schooled her on various forms of self-defense, weaponry, and self-control. Although her parents had a son, Randy, he was older and lived a different life without her in it.

Kennedy walked slowly around the tall shelves of books, pulling in the scent of paper and age. She’d had books, but never of her own choosing. Never princess or unicorn books to read for pleasure, just tactical and political tomes to memorize, histories of strategic warfare, and other topics useful to her intended role. Her parents had told her for as far back as she could remember that even as a freak, she had a special role in making the world a better place. They were the authorities, so she had believed them. In her mind she’d imagined herself a princess guiding her kingdom. But as she’d grown older and the training had become harsher and more specific, she’d asked them what was she being prepared for? It had started to grind in her stomach that all the decisions about her life had been made by her parents. She had been given no choice, asked for no input. But she could put two and two together and come to a conclusion. Her parents and The Nexus Group intended to use her to gain power. Looking around at the results of their activities, she’d seen death and harm. The more she’d learned, the further into herself she’d crawled. She hadn’t wanted to know what the future held. Fear kept her mind from pursuing anything that concerned her parents’ plans for her.

In the cultural arts section, she found what she was looking for. An instruction book on basic dance steps would fit the bill. It would give her an easy way to join with the kids in the simple pleasure of movement.

She thumbed through the pages, her eyes scanning across each one. Her lids fluttered furiously as her brain absorbed the words. Images of the instructions brought the words to life, and she envisioned the holds and the steps fluidly taking her over.

She gently replaced the book to its designated spot on the shelf and returned to Tizzy’s classroom. When Tizzy came back in, Kennedy laid out her idea. She would lead the children in a dance later in the afternoon.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” Tizzy’s excitement bubbled from her as it typically did, smoothing the awkwardness that pumped through Kennedy’s veins.

The students hung up their coats after recess and prepared at their desks for the afternoon’s English and math lessons. The room fairly buzzed with excitement, because Tizzy had told them Kennedy would be doing something special with them later.

Finally, it was her turn, and Kennedy had to put on her best façade to present an assured and friendly face while inside she wanted to hide. She was breaking the rules that had been pounded into her. Engaging in fun and interacting with others was prohibited.