Craving You (TBX #2) (14 page)

Kelsey

The past two nights I’ve slept in Parker’s bed with him. So tonight I’m lonely as I lay in my bed. Parker and Colt had to do inventory at TBX, and it’s running late into the night. I’m going to try and wait up for him, so I pull out my Kindle and open up a book by one of my favorite authors. As I begin to read book two of The Chocolate Lovers Series by Tara Sivec, my phone dings.

I miss you. - Parker

My heart starts to flutter so hard, beating against my chest and up into my throat. The bastard’s trying to escape again.

It’s lonely here without you.

My confession makes me feel weak, but it’s the truth. In my mind, I picture my heart just flying around while I swat at it to put it back in its cage.

Are you in my bed? -Parker

No.

Why the hell not? I’d be much happier picturing you in my bed right now. -Parker

Shouldn’t you be working, so you can come home?

True. Are you naked? -Parker

Parker.

If I were there, you’d be screaming my name. -Parker

Instead, I’m typing it.

I miss you. -Parker

I miss you, too.

Each day Parker finds his way deeper into my soul. And I’m not even sure if he means to. I pick up my Kindle and start reading where I left off.

“I want shmashmoos!” What the hell did I just say? Shmashmoos? “I shouldn’t fall asleep reading. I was having a nightmare. Marshmallows weren’t as they seemed and the government lied to us about War World II,” I babble. I’m happy to be back in reality, Tara Sivec really knows how to capture her readers—awake or not.

Parker finishes pulling my e-reader from my fingers with a wide grin. Scooting up in the bed, I feel a laugh bubble up in my throat. I can’t believe I was sleep talking.

“Nerd,” he jokes. “Didn’t I say for you to be in my bed?” Parker sits next to me against the headboard, pulling me into the nook of his arm.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Inventory sucked.” His breath whispers in my ear, voice rough. Rough fingers begin caressing my cheek when a firm, but gentle pull of my jaw brings his mouth to hover over mine. “Did you miss me?”

“So much.” At my admission, Parker’s lips descend on mine. He devours me as if I’m the only source of life for him. When we part, I’m left breathless, chest heaving and my heartbeat pulsing through my lips. I can only imagine what I look like; bed head all over the place, lips swollen and red.

“As much as I’d enjoy you wrapping those sweet lips around my cock, which may just happen if you keep drinking me in like you want nothing more, I’m crashing and burning. It’s been a long day.”

I nuzzle into the crook of his arm and chest. His fingers running lazy circles over my skin, he sighs. “Is everything okay?” I question.

“It is now.” Then he kisses the top of my forehead. That one gesture opens up the floodgates to the emotions I’ve been trying to hold back.

There goes my heart, fluttering around in my chest like the crazed lunatic it is for believing more than what this is.

Parker

Inventory was a fuckin’ nightmare. It always is; however, tonight was worse. Tonight, I knew who I was coming home to, and I couldn’t stand being away from her, knowing she was waiting for me. I can’t believe how much I missed her. Having her in my arms helps calm me. Dad was there tonight, and I just can’t really deal with him anymore. I have no respect for the man. Colt and I finished up as quickly as we could and darted out of there. Only a few more months till Colt graduates and then we have control over TBX.

“Is everything okay?” Kelsey rasps. That’s a loaded question that she doesn’t need the answers to, but I want to tell her. Shit, I want to share everything with her.

“It is now,” I assure her and it is. Lately, all I need is her.

She exploded into my life, and now, I need her light.

“Parker…” She hesitates. “I know this is just physical, and I’m okay with that, but you can talk to me if you want to. I’m here for you if you need me. We’re friends.” The nervous plea in her voice is my undoing.

“Just physical? You’re not just physical to me, Kelsey. You’ve grown to be so much more than that. It fuckin’ scares me.” Her breath catches. “I’m sorry if this steps on your rules about us. You have to know you mean more to me than a good fuck. Shit, babe, please tell me you know that.”

She sits up and flicks on the lamp. Her eyes are watering. Dammit, I don’t want her to cry.

“Don’t cry, please.” She’s going to pull away and gut me.

“You don’t want me like that. Trust me.” The conviction in her voice causes the hair to stand on my neck.

“The fuck I don’t. I’m tellin’ you right now, that’s all I want.” I try to keep my voice steady, but my emotions are getting the best of me.

“And I’m telling you, you don’t,” she whispers, looking down at her hands that are clasped in her lap. I lift her head back up to me.

“Kelsey …”

“I’m fucked up, Parker, like, really fucked up. You don’t want on this crazy train.” A tear slides down her face. I want to punch whoever did this to her. My hand tightens into a fist.

“We’re all fucked up. I fuckin’ built the crazy train, but I will jump off it if you will, together.” Another tear slides down her face. “Please, don’t cry. You’re killin’ me.”

“You won’t want me.”

“I already want you! What could make me not?” Her stare becomes ice. “Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ pull away from me.”

“The scar,” she squeaks before a sob escapes her.

“Tell me.” I hold her face even with mine, pleading with her.

“It was a long time ago. I know I shouldn’t still hang onto it, but it’s hard to let that night go. My mom, she dates a lot. Looking for the love she will never find. She’s a hopeless romantic. Thank goodness I didn’t get that gene. She was dating this one guy…” My pulse picks up speed. I don’t like where this is going. She sighs. “You don’t want to know. Look at you, you’re already disgusted.” She goes to jerk away from me, but I quickly reach for her hands and pull her back to me.

“Tell me.” I’m devoid of emotion. I can’t show any right now. If so, I may fuckin’ explode.

Hesitating a second, she continues, “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Another sigh, “It was late, maybe two in the morning, when I felt his hands on me. I jerked back into my headboard before he put his meaty hand over my mouth, silencing me.” She stops, looks away from me for a moment then returns her gaze and adds, “This is really hard for me, Parker. I haven’t talked about this with anyone. Brea only knows bits and pieces.”

“It’s okay.” A small smile threatens to show on her face as I hold back the fire I feel running through my veins.

“He had a razor blade and used it to cut my clothes away. When he let go of my mouth to remove my panties, I screamed with all of my might. Hoping my mom or anyone would hear me, I was silently praying someone would save me, anyone. Only being fourteen, I’d never been touched before. After I screamed, he became very angry. Called me horrible names as he dug the blade into my groin, told me if I made another sound that he’d cut me again. He said I was begging him to do it, and I was just going to end up being a slut.” A hard sob falls from her mouth, and I pull her in close. “My mom had heard my scream and called the police. They arrived before he could complete his task. He’s in jail, and that’s when Mom let me move in with Brealynn and her family.”

Fuck. I want to kill this bastard.

“Kelsey…” She holds up her hand.

“It’s okay, Parker. We aren’t anything to each other. You can walk away, and I won’t blame you.”

“Baby, no. Fuck! I just wish I could have saved you from that. You’re so brave. Do you know that?” I wrap her further into my arms.

“I don’t think so.” I’ve never seen someone look so sad, and that’s sayin’ something. I kiss her forehead.

“I think you’re perfect and so fuckin’ strong. I won’t ever let anything hurt you, Kelsey, I swear it.” Holding her in my arms the rest of the night, this girl earns another number to the passcode she’s so desperate to unlock. I just hope when she does, she can handle it.

Kelsey

Leaning into Parker, his strong arms wrap around me; my soul cracks open allowing him to seep into the empty spaces. I can’t stop the cries, and for once, I don’t try to. Telling him made everything slam back. I’m angry; at myself, at
him
, my mom. I wonder if Parker even realizes that he’s working his way into my hollow heart, fitting himself in snuggly.

He claims I mean more to him than just sex. I hope that’s true because he’s the only one I’ve ever opened up to about that horrible night.

It hits me smack in the face;
I trust him
.

The same fear that reflects in his eyes is the one I hold onto like it’s my next breath. We’re a lot alike. Two lost people floating around the world, wishing things could be different.

His fingers run through my hair, scalp to ends, soothing my cries. My chest aches, and all my energy is spent. I glance up at him with what I’m sure are now swollen eyes due to the fact I can feel my pulse in my face.

Parker’s soothing tone flows through my ears. “I think you’re perfect and so fuckin’ strong. I won’t ever let anything hurt you, Kelsey, I swear it.” It’s like he’s signing that promise in blood, by his tone. Sad thing is he won’t be around forever to protect me. I appreciate the thought, though.

Tilting my head up, my lips reach his. Needing him close is now a requirement.

His strength engulfs me, and I’m happy to drown.

“Are you okay?” I’ve monopolized tonight with my drama.

“Now that I’m with you, I am.” Intense brown irises shine into my gray. It feels like he’s saying more than he is, or maybe that’s just my soul locking him in and communicating on a level I’ve yet to understand.

Kelsey

It makes sense, with how hard we’ve fought each other, for us to run full speed into the other’s arms. I’m scared because I feel protected in those arms. The fact that I opened up to him about
that night
doesn’t shock me. He makes me feel secure; he always has. That’s one of the biggest reasons I ran as fast as I could away from the man. How can one person make me feel that way when no one else has ever come close?

Looking to my left, I drink him in. Strong capable hands squeeze the steering wheel as his roped, tattooed forearms lead to impressive biceps; the ones that hold me close and make me feel these foreign feelings.

“Where are you taking me?” We’re heading down HWY 75 north, passing through all the small towns between our city and wherever he’s taking us.

“You’ll see.” His right hand leaves the wheel and squeezes my thigh. Neither of us has brought up the topic of last night. I want to know what was troubling him. I’ve never seen such deep, saddened eyes before. “You nervous?” I take in his face. Light stubble shows around his jaw and chin, his full lips are in that all-American boy grin I love and his eyes, I sigh, look like the place I wish I could call home. The window to his soul. Am I nervous? Yes. However, I don’t think he’s asking me if I’m nervous about feeling too much for him.

“Nope,” I quip, and his grin widens. When we veer off the highway, I take note of the sign,
‘Lake—5 miles.’
I feel my smile widen while I take in our surroundings. I love the lake. Deep, forest green as far as the eye can see as we drive. I feel like I’m in a Ford commercial—the way the trees hang over the black and yellow pavement and the winding track proves the truck can handle many tasks.