Craving Redemption (10 page)

Outside with Poet, I pulled a pack of smokes from my pocket and lit one up. I loved the first scent, that first deep inhale of a freshly lit cigarette. There wasn’t anything better. Poet was standing at the end of the trailer, leaning against the metal siding while he smoked his own cigarette, and I braced myself as I walked toward him. He wasn’t pissed, I could tell that much, but he also wasn’t happy with what was going down. Before I even reached him, he started speaking.

“That little girl is beautiful, I’ll give you that,” he told me with a nod, not even looking in my direction.

“It’s not about that. But yeah, she is.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with the conversation, but I didn’t want him to think my decision was about ass. I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to take care of her, but it went far beyond trying to get in her pants.

“You’re young, boy. You got your whole life ahead of ya, and so does that girl in there,” he rumbled, and by the tone of his voice I knew to keep my mouth shut because he was just getting started. “Girl’s not even seventeen years old. I know she’s got some sort of savior complex going on, and I get it. It’s not uncommon; I’ve had to deal with that shit a few times in my life. But changing your life for her, claiming her when shit’s out of control the way it is—it’s not gonna end well. She’s gonna get over this. She’s gonna move on with her life, and where’s that gonna leave you?”

“I don’t know,” I replied quietly, his words something I’d thought of already.

“You’re an adult. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, I just want you to think with something other than your dick for two seconds and tell me where you think this is going.”

“Can’t explain it, Poet. There’s something about her. I know she’s young, and shit is insane for her right now—”

“She’s not the only one who’s young, boyo.”

“I know that, too. But whatever the fuck this is, it’s strong. She’s mine. She’s been mine since she crawled across the floor and grabbed a hold of me at that party. It just
is
.” I had a hard time explaining what was going through my head because
I
couldn’t even figure that shit out. I wanted to take care of her, and as fucked up as it was, I wanted her to need me.

“Brenna’s mom wasn’t much older than Callie when we hooked up,” he mumbled, looking up at the sky. “I knew she was too young for me, but fuck, when she looked at me I felt like a fuckin’ superhero. So I took her, in more ways than one. I soaked that shit up, reveled in it. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, but fuck, the way she looked at me?” he shook his head. “It was like nothing I’d ever had before. So I get it. What you’re doing. Just be careful, yeah? Woman like that’s got the power to fuck up your life.”

“Not sure how careful I can be,” I admitted, putting out my smoke on the bottom of my boot.

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment before casually putting out his cigarette with his fingertips.
Fucking crazy bastard
. “How the hell did you get into her house? I figured cops would be swarming the place.”

“We just rode right up. No one was fuckin’ there. Crime scene tape on the doorways, blood all over the floors, but not one fuckin’ cop. Idiots.”

“I’m guessing Jimenez has more pull than we’d originally thought. Houses are usually full of cops for at least twenty-four hours after a murder, taking prints and staging shit.” He looked deep in thought, and I didn’t ask how he knew police procedure so well. He was remembering something, and his past wasn’t any of my business.

“I’m gonna get back to Callie. She’s probably climbing the walls.”

“Yeah, I’ll be in there in a bit. Let the boys know to get their shit off the bikes and outta the Yukon. Gonna need bedding—we’re staying here for the night. Something’s not sitting right.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I was glad they weren’t headed to a hotel. I sure as fuck wasn’t leaving Callie and Rose and I was glad Poet had the same idea. Unfortunately, Rose’s trailer wasn’t very big and it was going to be a tight fit, even with the boys sleeping on the floor. I knew Poet was gonna take the couch, which left me with the tiny-ass loveseat.

When I got back in the trailer, Callie was sitting at the edge of the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest. The boys had made themselves comfortable around the table playing cards with Rose, so I let them know to get their shit and then I headed toward my girl. She was wearing a long-ass nightgown and I couldn’t help but smile at how innocent she looked. It was a big difference from the tiny-ass shorts she’d been wearing when I met her.

She scooted into my side when I sat down beside her, and tension I hadn’t noticed seeped from my shoulders. Yeah, the girl had completely fucked me.

“Gram gave me a nightgown,” she muttered into my armpit as I wrapped an arm around her.

“I see that. It looks… cozy,” I told her with a smile, glad she was talking without crying.

“Shut up,” she huffed. “I look like I belong on fucking
Little House on the Prairie
.”

Her words were like a punch to the chest and I chuckled, wheezing like I couldn’t catch my breath.

I’d seen her relieved, and I’d seen her embarrassed, and I’d seen her confused and scared. But I’d never seen her confident or sarcastic. Up until that point, I’d wanted her. I’d wanted to take care of her, pamper her, and make her feel safe. But her dry tone of voice had an entirely different effect. It made me want to bend her over the damn couch we were sitting on and fuck her. Hard.
Holy shit.
I readjusted my suddenly tight jeans and settled more comfortably in the couch before saying anything else. That was all I fucking needed—for Rose or one of the boys to see me tenting my jeans like an asshole.

A couple hours later, Callie fell asleep and I carried her into Rose’s bed for the night. The boys were setting up the sleeping arrangements and I didn’t want them to wake her up. The girl looked tired as hell even when she was actually sleeping. Once I had her settled, I grabbed a blanket from Rose and got situated on my tiny-ass bed for the night. My back was going to kill me in the morning.

It wasn’t too long after the house had fallen asleep that I woke up to someone moving around in the living room. When I opened my eyes, I saw Callie quietly making her way through the guys on the floor. She was stepping around them when she could, and over them when she had to, walking on her toes as if that was going to help. I could see that most of them had woken up—men didn’t get far in this life if they let their guard down, and they would have felt the shift as soon as she came out of Rose’s room—but none of them moved or made a sound.

As she was stepping over Hammer’s chest, one of the brothers that came down with Poet, I saw his eyes open and his head move slightly as if to look up her nightgown.
Fucking prick.
I didn’t want to startle her by saying anything, but when his hand moved as if to grab her, I’d had enough.

“Touch her and I’ll fuckin’ gut you, brother or not,” I growled, my voice raspy from sleep.

Callie squeaked and jumped, almost falling into the men sleeping on the floor. She barely caught herself and ran to me, stepping in any open space she could find between the bodies. When she got to me, she dove, landing sprawled on my chest and almost clipping my nose with her chin. I grunted as her knee came really close to my balls, and quickly moved her legs so one was between me and the back of the loveseat and the other pulled high on my waist. Fuck, even with her landing on me like a ton of bricks, my dick still sprang to attention.

“I thought you left,” she murmured quietly in my ear. She’d straightened out one of her arms so it was lying down our sides, but the other was across my stomach and bent with her hand on my bare chest. I should’ve left my goddamn shirt on, but it was hot as fuck in the room with so many people in it and I hadn’t wanted to sweat through the only clean one I had left. I was seriously reconsidering my choice when she started kneading my chest, like she was making sure I was actually there. When her hand strayed close to my nipple, my dick practically jumped in my jeans and I quickly grabbed her hand and held it in the middle of my chest.

“Not going anywhere,” I reassured her with a kiss on her forehead. I thought about telling her to go back in with Rose, but I knew she wouldn’t sleep if she did. I had a feeling the minute she thought I was asleep, she’d be on her way back out, waking up the men on the floor again.

“I’m sorry I’m being such a pain in the ass,” she whispered, relaxing her body into mine. “It scares me when I can’t see you.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything. I just listened to her breathe until a little snore came out of her mouth. Her nightgown had ridden up, so her bare inner thigh was pressing against my stomach, and the heat in the room was making our skin sweat and stick together. Fuck me; I was never going to be able to sleep. I took a deep breath, pulled the thin blanket Rose had given me over us so the boys didn’t catch a peek of her ass, and tried to get my dick under control.

I must have finally fallen asleep, because I woke up to a bit of sunlight shining through the windows and Rose standing over us with a soft look on her face. It took me a second to figure out where I was, and I almost relaxed, but it was then that I realized that while one of my arms was innocently draped over Callie’s back, the other was beneath the blanket gripping her thigh, my hand so high up that my index finger was just barely inside her underwear and resting on hot, soft skin.

Chapter 14

Callie

I woke up the next day alone on the loveseat. I felt like an idiot for climbing in with Asa, but when I’d woken up in the dark my instinct had been to find him. I lay next to Gram, trying to force myself to stay put, but I couldn’t. My anxiety had built and built until I’d finally crawled out of bed and went to find him.

Now I couldn’t see him anywhere. The house was really quiet, a big change from how crowded and noisy it had been the night before. When I sat up and started to fold the blanket I was using, I noticed two men out of the corner of my eye. They were sitting casually at the table, turned toward me, and the dark haired one I’d kicked in the face gave me a little smile.

“Your Grandma went with Poet to get your brother from the airport,” he informed me, watching closely. Knowing that I must have looked like a basket case the day before, I met his eyes calmly and nodded nonchalantly, as if to prove that I wasn’t going to start screaming and running around the house like a lunatic.

I’d caught some kind of second wind, and the weak little girl I’d been the day before was pushed to the back of my mind as I stood up slowly and turned my back to him. I was afraid, that feeling wasn’t going away, but somehow in my sleep I’d formed some sort of a barrier between my emotions and my actions. I wasn’t panicking. The fear was a throbbing mass in my belly, constant but controllable.

I focused on cleaning up my sleeping area and quickly walked to Gram’s room to get dressed before I asked where Asa was. I was trying to act relaxed, but it felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I knew Gram wouldn’t have left me alone with those guys if she didn’t trust them, but I was still uncomfortable that they’d been in the room while I slept. The longer I was awake, the more aware I was that I hadn’t seen Asa, and by the time I was dressed, I was almost in a full-blown panic. I guess I wasn’t as calm as I’d thought. I knew it wasn’t rational. I knew that I was acting like a freak, clinging to him when I barely knew him. He was probably irritated as hell that I wouldn’t leave him alone. But I couldn’t stop myself; it felt like he alone could protect me from the outside world.

I stayed in Gram’s room for as long as I could, straightening her bedding and going through the bag I’d brought with me. Asa hadn’t packed much, but at least he’d remembered the essentials. I found my iPod at the bottom of my bag and held it to my chest, thankful that he’d thought to pack that small piece of technology. It was silly, but it felt like one piece of normalcy in my suddenly upside-down life.

When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I took a deep breath and made my way out into the living room. The men were still sitting at the table, and I stepped as close to them as I could make myself, stopping six feet away. I battled with myself whether or not to ask where Asa was when he suddenly walked into the kitchen from the small hallway leading from the bathroom. He was fully dressed, his hair wet, and he held a towel up to his beard, rubbing it from side to side.

I stood in silence until he noticed me, running my tongue over the cuts in my mouth to keep me from speaking. I catalogued where my braces had rubbed against my cheeks and tried to focus on remembering if I had wax in my purse or not, acting as though I wasn’t waiting for him to acknowledge me. I refused to be the one who spoke first or to run to him like I wanted to; I needed him to come to me.

“Hey, sleeping beauty. These boys wake you up?” he asked me with a small smile, walking slowly toward where I was standing. The men at the table hadn’t noticed that I’d come out of the bedroom, and both their heads swiveled around quickly in surprise.

“No, they didn’t wake me,” I replied, begging him silently to come closer.

He seemed to understand what I needed, or maybe he needed it too, because he came right to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up in a bear hug until my feet were dangling off the ground. His beard tickled across my neck and I grasped his shoulders tighter in response. It was exactly what I needed.

I was disappointed when he let me down, but he kept his hands on my hips once my feet were safely on the floor. He was about to say something, but I’d never know what it was, because just seconds later the front door banged open. The noise startled me so badly that I jumped up, knocking my forehead into his chin as I wrapped my arms and legs around him. I wasn’t tall enough, so I ended up lower than I’d wanted and ended up pulling and scratching my way up his chest until his hands gripped the back of my thighs and hoisted me the rest of the way.