Craving Constellations (31 page)

His breath was bellowing out in big gusts, and I finally realized why he’d been teasing me.

“You’re not going to hurt the baby.” I curled up, so I could put my hand against the side of his face. “Come inside,” I whispered.

He turned his head and kissed the palm of my hand before laying me back on the bed, following me down, and sliding inside me with one smooth thrust.

“Ah fuck, Brenna!” he groaned into my ear as he started to move. “Not gonna last long, baby. You feel so fuckin’ good. Shit.”

He was right. He didn’t last long, but I still got mine.

The second round was a lot slower, and I got two more.

Eventually, we crawled out of bed and headed back to his party. He grabbed a tiny pair of jean shorts for me to wear, and when I complained about not being able to button them, he made me wear them with a rubber band holding them together. I was pretty sure he just wanted me to wear something that showed off my small belly. He was trying to play it cool, but I could tell he was proud as hell that I was pregnant.

As we walked back to the clubhouse, I tried to imagine what our lives would have been like if I’d told him when I was pregnant with Trix and Draco. Five years ago, we’d been in completely different places in our lives. He’d been newly patched into the club, and I’d been running as fast as I could. Who knows if we would have been able to make it work?

I had no doubts now. We’d been through more than most couples dealt with in their entire lives, and we’d survived. I couldn’t picture the rest of my life anywhere but by his side, raising our babies, and ignoring the sideways looks we’d get from the outside world.

Brenna and I were walking back to the clubhouse the night of my party when a car came up the drive, swerving and spitting gravel. We were pretty close to the doorway of the club, so I called out to the boys inside as I pulled Brenna behind me.

I didn’t recognize the car as it pulled to a stop about fifty feet away from us, but the chick who climbed out looked familiar. It was starting to get dark outside, but I could see her face just fine, and she was pissed. She was tiny, even smaller than Brenna, and she had pitch-black hair that was cut to her chin in front but shorter in the back. I glanced down her body, but I couldn’t see much as she yelled and raised one of her arms around, waving what looked like a pistol in the air.

Before I could push Brenna toward the door, brothers came rushing out in a wave into the yard, taking in the scene quickly. I felt Brenna jerk behind me as the woman looked at us and pointed her gun our way.

“You fucking
dick
!” she screamed. “Where the
fuck
is my brother?”

I was about to yell back at her that I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about when Grease took a step forward, so we were standing almost shoulder-to-shoulder.

“The fuck are you doing here, Callie? You’re outta your goddamn mind!” he yelled back, walking toward her.

“What did you do with my brother?” she yelled again, retreating a little every time Grease took a step forward until her back was against the side of her car.

I could feel Brenna shaking behind me with every step closer that Grease got to the woman with the weapon.

“Your brother’s fine. Now, put that fuckin’ thing away before you get your ass shot,” Grease told her calmly as he reached her and pulled the weapon from her hand. “Fuckin’ idiot. What did you think you were gonna do with a fuckin’ Taser in a clubhouse surrounded by armed men?” he asked as he dropped the black thing to the ground.

All the boys in the forecourt breathed a sigh of relief. None of us wanted to take out a woman, but nobody moved.

As soon as the Taser hit the ground, she went batshit fuckin’ crazy. She was swinging her fists and her legs, intent on hitting Grease anywhere she could reach. He grabbed her around the waist, but she didn’t stop. I could see her trying to bite him, and I winced as she got a hold of a good chunk in his shoulder. That had to fuckin’ hurt.

I couldn’t understand what she was yelling about, but I could hear Grease just fine, and the way he was talkin’ to her made me wonder where the fuck I’d seen her before.

“It’s okay, baby. He’s fine. He’s fine. It’s okay. Shhh,” he told her softly as her struggles finally ceased, and she went limp in his arms, her mouth falling off his shoulder where her teeth marks had caused blood to run down his chest. “Fuck, baby, what were you fuckin’ thinkin’?”

I shook my head and turned Brenna toward the clubhouse. I knew the crazy bitch from somewhere, but I wasn’t gonna waste time trying to figure it out. Grease could take care of it. I had more important shit to do, like making up for lost time with my woman.

My pregnancy went really well. I didn’t have any of the problems with this baby that I’d had with the twins. My blood pressure stayed steady, my hips didn’t ache, and my feet didn’t swell. The doctors told me it was the difference between carrying twins and a single baby, but I thought it was Dragon.

He still went on runs, and when he did, Casper stayed with us. Tony was no longer a threat, but Dragon didn’t want us home alone for an entirely new reason. I didn’t know if it was the baby’s uneasy beginning, our history with the twins, or just Dragon’s overprotectiveness, but he wouldn’t leave until he knew someone was going to be around the house. It drove Slider crazy, but I loved it. I loved that he was taking care of us. I never felt stifled or annoyed. I felt protected, cherished.

We’d wanted to find out the sex. I was too anxious to wait, but every ultrasound had been a bust. I’d been really annoyed. I’d wanted to start planning early, but Dragon just laughed when we never got a clear indication either way. I thought he was just relieved that the baby was healthy. We never fought about things even though I knew half the time I was being a total bitch. Dragon would just shake his head at me like I was crazy and go on doing whatever he was doing at the time.

It wasn’t until I decided I would try to have the baby naturally, rather than a C-section, that Dragon put his foot down. He’d sat with me during the consultation when the doctor gave us all of the worst-case scenarios, and he was pissed as hell that I was willing to take any chances. The fight went on for weeks, but it finally came to a head when I was about seven months along.

“Brenna, there is no fuckin’ way that I’m gonna let you put yourself in danger just because you wanna commune with motherfuckin’ nature or whatever the hell it is you got in your head,” he told me one night as we were lying in bed.

“They can get the baby out in like sixty seconds if something goes wrong. The chances of anything happening are slim. Baby, seriously, they know what they’re doing.” I laid my head on his chest and traced my finger over where he’d gone in and had Trix’s star enlarged on his Orion’s Belt tattoo.

“They give you all of these things they say could go wrong, make you sign a fuckin’ paper that says you’re not gonna sue them, and you don’t see nothin’ wrong with that?” He shook his head. “You’re not doin’ it, baby. You’re havin’ a fuckin’ C-section, like they advised you to fuckin’ do. Not gonna lose you. End of story.”

And that was that. I’d been willing to give him the peace of mind that he needed. It wasn’t like I’d been looking forward to hours of labor anyway. I’d just have to let my fears of another C-section go.

So, there I was, lying in an operating room, surrounded by doctors and nurses, waiting for them to cut me open and get our child out. I didn’t sleep last night because I was too anxious, but when we got out of bed this morning, I was completely calm. I could do this.

My arms were strapped to the table by my head, and it was scary, but Dragon was there holding my hand. His face was covered with a surgical mask, and he was dressed in scrubs, the sleeves so tight around his chest and biceps that he looked like a stripper. All he needed was a stethoscope and a boom box. The thought made me smile.

“How you doin’, Little Mama?” he asked me quietly, his face close to mine.

The doctors were speaking around us, but it felt like we were in our own little world.

“I’m okay. I’m ready for this to be over,” I whispered back as I felt them tugging on my torso. I didn’t know if they had already cut me, and I was trying not to pay attention to what they were doing on the other side of the little curtain.

“You’re doin’ so good, baby.” He brushed the curls that had escaped my ponytail out of my face. “It’s almost ov—”

His words were cut off by the screaming of an infant, and he immediately raised his head over the curtain.

“Hey, Daddy, you want to let Mom know what she’s got?” my doctor asked with a smile in her voice.

I looked around, trying to get a glimpse of anything, when Dragon’s face leaned back down over mine.

“Thank God. Another fuckin’ dick in the house. Gettin’ tired of all those fuckin’ Barbies,” he told me, a huge grin on his face. “We got a boy, Mama.”

The doctors were rushing around us, and tears were running down the sides of my face as a little wrapped bundle was set in Dragon’s arms. He was no longer crying. He was asleep. I could barely see his face, and the doctors were still working on me on the other side of the curtain, but I was completely content in this moment.

“You did good, baby,” Dragon told me as he pushed down his mask, a tender look in his eyes. “Now, give your man a kiss.”

Holy cow, I don’t even know where to start.

To my girlies—Mama did it! But, as excited as I am right now, nothing will compare to the two of you. You are my biggest accomplishments, and no matter where life takes us from here, you always will be. My cup runneth over. I love you to the moon and back.

Mom and Dad—I love you. Thank you for keeping me sane, providing me with coffee, watching the girlies, and loving me. You guys are my biggest cheerleaders, and there is no way I could have accomplished all I have in the last year if it weren’t for you.

To my sisters—You guys are the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for being so excited for me every time I couldn’t wait to call you with every single detail of this writing process. You’ve been with me during every exciting step. Let’s drink wine and celebrate. I think we’ve earned it.

To my brothers—You’ll never read this, but I love you, and I could never leave you out.

To Genelle and Becky—You two were my first sounding board and the very first people to read my work. I can’t ever repay you for that. Without your input, I don’t know how far I would have made it. You kept me going and built me up. I love you, girls, and I’m so happy to have you as friends.